SAKURA
If I could describe my brother with one word, it would be precious. He was the most important thing in the world to me, and I would do anything for him.
His name was Kei, and, like his name suggested, he was lucky. He had an uncanny sense of everything, from it being when the next rainfall would be to what the winning numbers were at the village lottery, winning our family of three dinner for a week.
Kei was very handsome. Even at twelve, he had young women gazing at him and wondering if he'd ever look their way. His brown hair would flop into his eyes that were the color of leaves, just like mine. His skin was tanned with the sun from playing and working in the fields, and his body was well toned from both.
Often times, he would follow me into the village when I went to get food or to help her mother at her stand. She sold rice and sat on a blanket, smiling at people who passed by.
Kei...there was no one more important to me. And after our father died in a fire, Kei did his best to become the man of the house. But I would baby him constantly, treating him like a child even when he protested.
There was nothing quite like the relationship my brother and I had.
But then the draft came to our village.
When the men on horses came, I was sitting with the village herbalist, an old woman with a shock of white hair and folds of wrinkly skin. I called her "Granny Witch" and helped her prepare medicines.
Granny Witch could do anything, it seemed-- she could cure colds, heal injuries, clean out infections, anything medical. She could even perform wonders like changing the color of your eyes or hair by eating certain plants, or to make your skin seem to glow when you applied a salve to it.
At that time, I was sitting in her hut, rolling leaves into packages so she could sell them to people who needed them. Granny Witch never sat in the market-- she would only wait in her hut. People would come to her.
I sat at the small table, making another packet of leaves. They were mint and thyme leaves, creating an unique aroma that left its traces on my fingers. It made me alert and sleepy at the same time.
A horse with a soldier trotted by, and I looked up when he went. Surprised, I went over to the window and peered out, only to see several more soldiers, all in full armor, all on brown horses.
"Granny Witch--" I said, pointing, and she cut me off.
"Yes, child," she said. "It's time for a draft. We haven't had a draft to this village for thirty years..."
"A draft?" I asked her. "What's that?"
"The enlistment of young men in the army," Granny Witch told me in her frail, brittle voice.
I sighed in relief. "Kei's too young to be in the army."
Granny Witch shook her head slowly, her wrinkled hands folded on her lap. "No, Sakura. You don't seem to understand. In a draft, young men don't get a choice. They'll set an age range-- usually it can be anywhere from ten to sixty. Even if Kei wasn't in age barrier, in desperate times, they will require one man from each household that has one."
I paled. "The...only man in our household is...!"
"Kei."
I whirled toward the window again, only to see Kei in the crowd of young men and women who stood there.
"Kei!" I cried, pushing the hanging mat away from the door and rushing to him.
He turned and smiled when he saw me. "Sis! Hey, do you know what's going on?"
I had to hide him, to do something. I had to keep him safe. Mother would just die of grief without Kei.
Mother hadn't really ever appreciated me. I was a reckless sort of daughter-- too feisty, not demure, and not afraid to get in a fight. I was skilled with a sword and in the martial arts, trying to take my father's place when Kei was too young to perform his duties. It was obvious that I was useless-- I could never land myself a husband, even if I tried. And naturally, that was what daughters were good for, right? To find themselves a husband who could support them and, later, the rest of the family. It was shameful that I could fight and that I knew medicines.
Mother had always loved Kei so much more. Now, there was a child that never brought her humiliation. He could plow fields, carry heavy things, and he was very good looking. He looked like his father, and now that he was twelve, almost thirteen, he could take over the duties of his father.
When I came home with dirt on my face, back from a fight that had won a bet, giving me money and a week's worth of bread, my mother would look away from me in distaste, murmuring how she wished I hadn't done that.
When Kei came home with dirt on his face, back from a fight that he had lost, my mother told him that he was brave, and that he'd win next time, and bring our family honor.
I had stopped getting jealous when I was fourteen and Kei was ten. Now that I was sixteen, I cared more about taking care of Kei. Because if I took care of Kei, I took care of my mother.
And now, if Kei was enlisted, my mother would be left with no one but me. It would be enough to kill her.
I gripped Kei's shoulders and tried to pull him away, but a soldier saw me. "You there! Wench!" he called. I bristled with anger, but remained silent.
"How old is this boy?" he asked me, his horse moving toward me.
"...Twelve," I answered. It was no use lying-- Kei couldn't pass for someone younger.
"Excellent. He is required to serve in the army," the soldier said, thrusting a scroll at me.
My jaw dropped. "He's just a child!" I cried.
I instantly received a blow to the face. "Do you think you can talk back to me?" demanded the soldier, his face contorted with rage.
Kei's hand was shaking in mine.
I finally lowered my head slightly in apology. "Forgive me," I murmured.
"Sign him up," grunted another soldier, jabbing his thumb at another soldier who sat on a tree stump, writing down names.
I walked over to the soldier on the tree stump, rubbing my cheek. "...Kei. Kei Haruno," I told him, my voice breaking.
He nodded. "He'll have to leave tomorrow," he told me, not even looking up.
I swallowed and took Kei home.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
My mother dropped the bowl she was holding. Rice tumbled out, and she fell to her knees.
"Kei...Kei..." she sobbed. "...Kei..." She clutched her son close to her chest, and Kei attempted to comfort her, but to no avail.
I stared on, helpless. It was my fault. I should have gotten Kei away sooner.
I cursed quietly under my breath. It was my fault!
I looked at my brother, unsure of what to do. My eyes drifted toward my sobbing mother, broken by the loss of her precious son. If only it were her useless daughter going to war.
I jolted.
Wait.
My head jerked up and I stared at Kei.
I could still save him.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
My mother and Kei had already fallen asleep. They were sleeping together on the mat, because this was her last night with her little boy. Or so she thought.
I went to the shrine in the back of our house, tiptoeing as quietly as I could, avoiding the loose floorboard on the stairs.
The shrine was for two people: my father and his sister, both dead. My father's armor was in a chest next to the shrine.
I knelt before the shrine, lit incense for my two loved ones and asked them to watch over me when I left. I asked them to bring good fortune to Kei and my mother, and to keep them from harm.
I went to the chest and pulled out the armor, stowing it into a reed bag that I quickly hid in the folds of my kimono. I also took my father's sword.
I went back into the bedroom of the house and looked in on my mother and brother. My mother had her skinny arms wrapped around my brother as tightly as she could. Something bitter welled up in my heart when I realized that I would never be held that way by her. It left a taste of resentment and intense sadness in my mouth, but I realized that while Kei had mother, once I had father.
My father, Kimihiro, and I were very close. He loved me, and never once thought it was bad when I got into fights or learned how to sue a sword. In fact, he praised me for being such a strong woman. It as my father who had named me "Sakura", for his favorite flower. My mother was Mizuki, and he told me one time that it was fate that he would marry her, because he met her under the beautiful moon-- just like my mother's name.
"Sakura," he said, "you'll meet the man you love under the cherry blossoms. I just know it. Just like I met your mother under the moon."
I soaked up every word he'd ever told me. He was something of a god to me; I didn't know anyone quite like him. He was also very radiant-- he shone like the sun. His hair was like gold, and his skin was so fair, and his eyes were light amber. He had the physical features of an angel-- he wasn't like a normal Japanese. There was no other like him.
Except my aunt-- his sister. My aunt was named Mayumi, and she was more skilled with a bow and arrow than anyone I'd ever known in my life, even though she was blind. She was so graceful and beautiful when she pulled the arrow back. Her faded blue eyes would narrow and focus on one spot that she could only see with her senses. Her upper lip would curl, as if she was almost snarling. I would hear a TWANG and the arrow was gone. I would look around quickly and see it quivering in its target, dead-on.
My aunt was strong and beautiful in an otherworldly way-- just like my father. She too had light hair and eyes, and skin that was like snow. Her beautiful blue eyes were covered with a misty film, making them look faded and distant. She was also tall and broad-- like a man. She contrasted so differently from my mother, who was small and dark, with black hair and deep brown eyes. After my father died in the fire when I was but nine, she took me under her wing and cared for me, making me the strong and capable woman that I was at sixteen.
But one day, my aunt was killed. She was with me collecting flowers from a field, and she was shot in the back of the neck with an arrow by a man in a tree. I ad screamed for my aunt to wake up, but she wouldn't move. I turned and looked, panicked, at the man in the tree, only to see that it was someone I knew.
His name was Shuchii, and he was my aunt's fiancée. All I could remember was that when I looked up at him, my eyes filled with tears, I could see that he too was crying.
I couldn't remember what had happened after that. I thought I had fainted, but a scar on my hip shows that another arrow grazed me, and I lost so much blood that I passed out.
My thoughts wandered back to the two sleeping figures in front of me, and I smiled at them. It could be the last time I ever saw them again. Who was I to think bad things? It didn't matter now.
I leaned over and kissed my brother's soft cheek, pushing the hair away from his eyes. I hugged my mother and rubbed her tense shoulder, wondering when she had gotten so small. For each of them, I left a lock of my hair, putting both on the bedside table next to them, along with a locket Father had given me many years before. It was my last memory of him, and I wanted them to have it.
With one last look at my family, I left and went to Granny Witch's house.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
There was a candle lit in her window, and I knew she was still up. Probably making medicine for the following day.
I pushed the reed mat door away and stepped inside.
Granny Witch sat at her table, her hands folded. there were leaves and rolls of rice paper in front of her, as well as her smashing bowl. I sniffed the air and smelled narcotics. It made my senses tingle.
"So," she said, turning her old body toward me. "I realized what you would do before you actually thought yourself to do it. But you've always been very readable to me."
"My father said I was predictable, too," I said, pulling the armor from my kimono. "Since you know what I'm going to do..."
"No," she said, reading my mind, "I still need to know what exactly you want done."
"I need you to make my hair brown, like Kei's," I told her, "and I need it to stop growing. I can't afford for the roots to grow out in my hair color and I don't want to have to continually cut my hair."
Granny Witch sat quietly, thinking, then stood. "Are you sure about this?"
I nodded. She handed a knife to me, and with it, I cut my hair.
I felt like crying. I loved my hair-- it was important to me. My father told me once that my mother had said my hair was the best part about me.
I swallowed, steeled myself, and leveled it down until it was shaggy and sort of long, like Kei's. I refused to look at myself in the mirror that Granny Witch offered, instead setting it aside until the whole process was finished.
She handed me a few leaves, all different, a flower, and s plant that looked like a clove of garlic. "Grind these," she instructed, which I did. It made a sort of thick brown mud, and I knew that it would be for my hair.
"This is permanent," Granny Witch told me warningly. "You'll never be able to go back to that beautiful color you have now."
"Do it," I told her. She silently applied the concoction to my hair, starting at the roots and going to the ends. The process took a very long two hours.
Finally, it was over. Granny Witch's hands were stained with brown.
"Done," she said, heaving a long sigh. "Okay. Next-- eat this."
She handed me a powder-filled bowl.
"Eat it? With what?" I asked. "Can I have...bread?"
"No."
"...Okay." I shook the contents into my hand and quickly swallowed it. It was disgusting, and made my tongue go numb and my scalp throb.
"Oh, Gods! What is this?" I demanded, gasping.
"It's freezing your hair so it won't grow any longer than it is now," explained Granny Witch. "You haven't felt nothing yet."
"Yet?!"
"Just kidding. The worst is over." Granny Witch gave me a toothy grin.
I glared at her. "You're funny. You stupid hag."
She handed me the armor in response, still grinning. Then she got a little more serious, remembering something. "Oh! Wait. Before you put that on..."
She went over to a drawer in her cabinet and searched through it. Finally, she came across what she was looking for.
She brought it to me. "You'll need to bind you breast, child."
I groaned. I had forgotten about that.
"Right then. Take off your kimono," Granny Witch ordered, and I obeyed, loosening my clothes and stepping out of them. She came to me and started wrapping a bandage-like cloth around me.
"A bandage?" I questioned. "That could come off."
"No-- it is a vest, child. The bandage is just extra protection."
At that moment, she yanked hard, and I coughed, gasping for air. "Dammit!" I cursed, my hands flying to my breasts, which were smashed roughly against me. They hurt so much, I wanted to yell.
"Almost done. It'll be over soon, child."
"Not nearly soon enough! Dammit!"
She wrapped a much larger cloth around my chest, and I assumed his was the vest. She laced it shut. "I got this from the Continent," she informed me. "It cost me several thousand precious medicines."
The Continent. I had only heard of it, when I'd heard people speaking of the upcoming war with the Continent. I knew it by only one other name-- China.
I sucked in air, trying to get used to this strange feeling of being so confined. Kimonos were already tight enough, especially when my mother was presenting me to families, trying to find me a husband. She made my waist look even smaller than it already was.
Finally, the binding was over and I was ready to put on the armor. First was the loose black pants, then the black shirt that went with them. Then came the knee and thigh pads, the chest protector, and the shoulder and back protectors. They were heavy and hot, and I couldn't stand them. But they'd be my clothes, possibly to the day I died.
Granny Witch led me to a looking glass that hung on her wall.
I gasped in shock, staring.
Surely, that young man in the mirror was not I. He was...not me.
He was me.
I finally strapped on my sword and turned to Granny Witch and told her, "...My name is Kei Haruno."
She gave me a sad smile. "It's a poverty that our village has to lose such a wonderful young woman."
"I'll be back," I told her. "I've gotta be around for Kei, right?"
She nodded. "...There's a horse in the stable that you can use. Go-- it's almost daybreak."
I hugged her, my arms wrapping around her small frame easily.
"You're just like your aunt," Granny Witch said.
"Thank you," I said, honored. I started to cry.
"You can no longer cry on the outside anymore, Sakura," Granny Witch told me gently. "You can not let yourself give in to your vulnerability." Her eyes were getting misty too. "Good luck, child. I'll be thinking about you."
"You too, Granny," I said, giving her one last squeeze. And, looking back over my shoulder only once, I left her hut, my second home. There were fireflies illuminating it a little, like tiny stars floating around the house.
I ran to the stable and unleashed the horse, leaping onto its back and digging my heels in a little. "Let's get this over with," I muttered, giving the horse a gentle kick to get him going. He started walking.
I looked around the village. It was still asleep, and the sky was in the turning point of where the sun was going to rise soon, and the stars were at their very brightest.
I was going past my house now, and I looked in the window. Kei was sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes. I froze when he turned and looked at me.
Neither of us did anything. Both of our worlds were stopped at that moment. And that's when Kei's eyes widened, realizing what was going on.
He mouthed my name, and I dug my heels into the horse's side. It whinnied and started running. The wind blew through my now short hair, and tears ran down my cheeks. I vowed that they were the last ones I'd shed.
They were for my brother.
I heard our door burst open and his wail, but I only turned around and waved. My sadness was bursting at the seams now, and then my mother was standing at the door as well. They both stared at me, eyes wide and their mouths hanging open. Kei leapt forward, but she grabbed him, her eyes never straying from me. Our gazes locked.
I smiled. Maybe now, she would love me. Because I had just saved the person we both loved the most.
With that, I looked away and, like my aunt Mayumi, narrowed my eyes and focused on what was ahead.
The sun rose, but I could still see the fireflies.
[Reviews - 206]Chapter or Story
Table of Contents
- Text Size +
Story notes: This is another yaoi, actually, because-- even though I'm a NaruSaku fan-- SasuNaru is fun to write. It's because I'm such a huge fan of KuroFai! KuroFai is yaoi, and they're my One True Pairing, and I cold write KuroFai fanfiction all day...
Anyway, back on track. This will be told, like my other yaoi fic, in multiple points of view. If you're confused about whose point of view it is, it's written in all caps at the beginning of the chapter. (It's pretty obvious, so I wouldn't worry about this problem.)
Chapter notes: Well, this is it! My new story!!!!!!!!! I really hope that you guys review-- I need reviews!
Anyways, I started out with Sakura because I figured that introducing with her and her changing from girl to boy-- sort of-- would be a sensible place to start. After this, there's gonna be more of the army-- meaning Naruto, Sasuke, and Izumi. And Sakura. But now her name's gonna be Kei.
Okay. That's all...
Kisses,
Sarah-hime