Blood dripped from Sakura’s hands, coated up to her elbows. You could use Chakra to fix things medically, but you couldn’t heal a pregnant woman until the baby was out. And thus the baby was removed the old fashioned way. She liked to be busy, when she was busy she didn’t have to think so much, she just had to act and do what the job at hand required of her.
The dream ended when she placed the babe in the woman’s arms.
So…small.
How long would this last, how long would the baby live in such uncertain times. When the world was on the brink of chaos, how short would this life be lived? How painful? It was a dangerous wild new world and no one could protect the present nevertheless look towards the future.
So…small.
Kurenai seemed dazed but she looked so beautiful, even when she was as exhausted as any woman in labour. She shone with a radiance Sakura supposed only belonged to woman holding a piece of themselves cradled in their arms. She didn’t even bother to wash her hands properly, Grabbing the towel off it’s perch on the operation table she let one of the nurses close the wounds up while she went out to give the news.
Tube lights blinded her vision and she had to blink for a bit to see everything properly. Everyone was gathered round her but it was the first person who questioned was the assault of Shikamaru;
“How is she?” he barked.
She smiled and she must have looked tired. “Fine, she wants to see you now.”
Shikamaru sigh sounded as bone weary as she must have looked because Ino frowned with concern as Chouji did too.
“It’s a boy.” Sakura included the group. “A beautiful boy –”
“Thankyou.” Shikamaru breathed intensely. “Sakura, thankyou.”
She blinked back tears, as she followed them in. All three groups were here. All except her’s. Tears were alright in these circumstances, today was a day of celebration and she hoped they looked like tears of joy rather than pain. She did not think she wanted anyone to repeat those same words to her, she heard them every night, they were said by someone else, somewhere else. But it was painful all the same.
Sakura looked up to find Lee waiting for her at the exit. Waiting…for her? Probably someone else. But-
“Sakura-chan.” He said warmly.
She smiled hoping the hesitation didn’t show on her face. “Hey.” What did Lee want? no one rarely approached her and she really didn’t want his pity nor anyone else’s. Working on Kurenai had taken a toll on her…seeing all the three remaining teams undivided cooing round the newborn baby served as a constant reminder that she was without a team herself. The sense of loneliness in such celebration had become so unbearable she had had to leave the room on some murmured excuse.
So when Lee accompanied her on her walk she hadn’t refused, why? Her heart screamed to be alone but another small part missed being in company with someone else. She missed company a lot more than she let on.
Lee didn’t say anything, he walked with her.
“You should have seen Shikamaru, Sakura.” Lee said. “He was pacing around so much just looking at him made me tired.”
“He was pretty worried, wasn’t he?” She smiled.
“Of course, that’s his sensei’s kid.” Lee nodded. “It meant a lot to him, Sakura. You heard what he said.”
Sakura shrugged. “I was just doing my job, Lee.”
“Yeah, but Shikamaru was real relieved. I’ve never seen him so worried before.”
Sakura frowned, Lee had grown up. He didn’t look so silly anymore now that he wore his chuunin vest, she was oddly surprised at the line her thoughts started taking. He was taller and more confident. The old shyness was still there, but a more modest confidence blazed underneath it, a detemination to succeed that wasn’t quite so cheesy anymore. It struck her how much he and Naruto were alike, Naruto determined to fight those above him and Lee determined to defy what fate had brought him. Just him wearing his chuunin jacket showed how much he succeeded, how much he could succeed. And his eyes…there was no pity in them, just…just hope. And…something oddly like love.
Like he would protect her no matter what and not just her, anyone.
He wanted to help, but he didn’t want to shame her through pity.
And she was so glad at that. God, Sakura was so glad.
“You looked lost for a second.” Lee smiled.
Sakura shook her head. “No,” she smiled. “I’m not lost. I think I know where I am now.” She’d miss her team-mates
She’d miss them all the time and she’d hurt forever until she was united with them. But…Lee was here. And she started thinking that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to talk to someone once in a while. Just once in a while so she didn’t have to be so alone.
“Youre in Konoha and youre an awesome shinobi.” Lee played along though he couldn’t possibly know what she meant.
“Please, Lee.” She told him. “I suck at it…I’m more of a medical ninja.”
“Don’t be so self-depreciating.”
“Well its true, I suck at attack... Defense and healing is all I’m good for.”
“I heard a lot about you’re chakra control.” Lee said seriously. “You could make a real cool assault ninja, Sakura.”
“Medical is all I know.” She sighed. “Anyway, I’ve already found my place and since Kakashi sensei is sort of…” She felt weak, she couldn’t even finish the sentence. Since Kakshi was dead there was no one to teach her, well no one she felt worth being taught by, not right now. It seemed that all she had cherished had been shattered. With Kakashi dying so had the last bond that had existed to tie her, Naruto and Sasuke together.
Lee looked pensive for a moment and then finaly he spoke. “This isnt what Kakashi would’ve wanted.”
“It’s not what I wanted.” Sakura whispered.
“He wouldn’t want you dead like this…I don’t want you dead like this.”
“Well, I can’t do much about it, Lee. This is all that’s left for me.”
“You can’t say that.”
“Its what I feel.”
“You don’t have a dream?” Lee said before he cold stop himself. “Any aspirations?”
Sakura lifted her green eyes and stared at him for a long time. “If you’re trying to mean a goal I can work towards, then…no.” she said. “My dream is, well – not something I can work towards. I can’t make it come true, because I already tried. I’ve realized that I have to wait for that dream, it has to come towards me, and my dream has a mind of its own. It won’t listen to me when I call. So I’ll just have to wait and be patient”
Even if it killed her…She’d wait for him.
Lee studied the ground, for a while she couldn’t see his face.
“How long will you wait?”
“As long as it takes.”
There was no mistaking, no dodging about who they were talking about. They both very well knew. She loved Sasuke, it was as simple as that. She had thought she could salvage his innocence. The first attempt had almost killed her if Furusaku had not jumped in front of her. After he killed Orichimaru, she thought he’d come back . But he didn’t, he created Hebi and killed his bastard of a brother without their help. Then strangely enough…he went on to join Akatsuki, the very group his brother had belonged to. Why?
And she still loved him. Even when he had never loved her, when he had never cared. And that was the truth, he had never cared, except…
Sakura, thankyou.
For what? Thankyou, for what? What had she done to ever make him say that. Why?
Sakura, thankyou.
That was the last thing he had told her. That was the only hope she had left and the only reason why she held on and waited. No matter what.
Then Lee said something that flooded her with gratitude so immense it must have burned in her eyes. “Then I will wait with you.”
A ninja always kept his word. That was Lee’s code. She almost cried right then because she couldn’t love this boy the way he needed, but he still held out his hand to her and held it out so it would always be available should she ever want it.
“But you have to train.” Lee pointed one finger in the air on this condition. “I’ll help with your training and prove you wrong, you could be an awesome ninja, Sakura. I really believe that. And I’ll keep on believing until you believe it.”
“Thank you.” She choked. “Thankyou, Lee.”
She knew he had turned his face so he didn’t have to let her know he saw her tears. She appreciated the act but it just made the tears flow faster. Naruto wasn’t here, but now she had Lee. It was Ok.
she was already at her door and Lee was leaving, she could weep in peace. It didn’t hurt to cry once in a while. And it had been a long time since she had something nice and hopeful to cry about.
And for the first time in a long time, she was hopeful. And with that came a relief, like someone who had been drowning for such a long time that when their head broke the surface they didn’t know it till it happened.
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