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Link 'n' Lazlo by Lethe

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Story notes: wrote it for a contest ... didn't win but meh...I never do
“Okay, I’m in the Minish Woods…so where are the Picori?” Link asked. He paused to have a look around and decided either that boulder had a twin or he was walking in circles. “Only one way to be sure,” Link said and pulled out his sword. Concentrating for a moment, he spun himself in the direction of the rock. When the metal made contact with the stone, the jarring scraping noise made Link’s blacksmith senses wince. After examining his blade for nicks, he looked at the boulder.

Barely a scratch. It’ll have to do though.

Setting off again, he kept his eyes on the forest floor for any signs of the legendary Picori. As he wandered, he got the distinct feeling; he was being watched. Scanning the trees around him made the boy nervous when he found nothing there. He shook it off and continued walking. Looking around the small glade, he spotted the boulder. He traced the scratch he made earlier with his finger and looking at the lengthening shadows on the ground, knew he’d lost almost half the day. Link frowned as he said to himself, “Great…I am walking in circles.”

He sat next to the rock and pulled out some lunch; half a stale baguette and some cheese. As he ate, he remembered the map his Grandpa gave him before he left. Spreading it out on the grass Link examined the area he thought his most likely location. Deciding his best bet to finding the Picori was heading due east then south, he packed up his things and moved on.

The trees around him began to thin and Link noticed a mist as it rose from the forest floor. Link felt uneasy, but thought, At least I didn’t pass that stupid rock. He shivered and he felt the hair on his neck stand on end when, from within the murkiness, a loud grating voice shouted:

“Helllllp! Help meeee!”

Link rushed toward the voice and the fog became so thick it clung to him, soaking his clothes and hair. Still he continued moving deeper and not wanting to be caught off guard, Link pulled out his sword. Whatever caused the fog was not immediately apparent, and the further into it he went, the less he could see.

Something moving nearby made him stop. The mist swirled and Link’s nose filled with a pungent sour smell. Suppressing the urge to gag, Link held his nose and relied only on his ears. He heard the distinctive splats of several chu-chus somewhere directly in front of him and Link readied himself for a fight.

Suddenly, the mysterious voice cried out again, “Ouch! Won't somebody stop them?”

Splat, splat, splat…

Trying to move faster, Link found himself pulling up short as trees or boulders kept appearing suddenly from the fog in front of him.

“Ow! Ow! Help... Somebody!”

Damnit, Link thought, the voice, though closer, sounded weaker. Link tried again to pickup his pace.

“Can't anybody hear me? OUCH!”

An unexpected break in the fog, showed Link the chu-chu’s quarry and he stopped as he stared at it for a moment trying to decide what to do. It sort of looks like a bird…but it doesn’t have any wings…or feet…just those creepy eyes and that beak? What is that? he wondered.

Splat, splat, splat…

“Ow! Hey! Kid! You there!” it called, “Ow!” it cried as another chu-chu attacked. “Hey! Don't just stand there! Do something!”

Splat, splat, splat…

“What's wrong with you? Do you like watching me take this abuse? Help me!”

It suddenly occurred to Link, that the odd looking creature in front of him might be one of the Picori.

Well, whatever you are, he thought, you need help.

And without further hesitation, leapt at the chu-chu’s, sword slashing. He sliced the nearest in two and backed off momentarily when the little green blob in front of him exploded into a puddle of foul smelling goop.

Splat, splat, splat…

Link fell over when one of the creatures smacked into his backside and he silently wished for a clothespin as he rounded on it and slashed it to bits.

Splat, splat, splat...

Scrambling to his feet, Link was able to catch the last two with a spin attack. Covering his nose, he dropped to his knees and coughed as the rancid odor of their demise hit him full force.

“Phew! Well done!” the creature exclaimed, “That was close. Not that I couldn't handle them myself.” Link sneezed as he sat wondering again, what that thing was… “However,” it continued, “that's beside the point! What in the world, is a lone child doing so deep in the woods?”

“I’m trying to find the Picori,” Link said wiping the stink off his sword on the grass. Deciding it was clean he put it away.

“Ho ho! I see,” it replied, “The...Picori, you say?”

“Yeah, so I take it you're not a Picori?” Link asked. The creature shook its head. Until now Link had no one to talk to and all his feelings of frustration began bubbling out of him as he told the weird little creature about the wizard Vaati’s attack and his quest to find the legendary Picori.

“Vaati?” the creature asked, “Vaati's cursed someone?”

“Yes, the Princess Zelda, she’s my best friend…she tried to protect me and that bastard turned her to stone. King Daltus gave me the broken Picori blade and sent me to find them. His Majesty thinks they may be able to re-forge it. At least I hope they can, I have to find them first, then I can break the curse.”

“What? The sacred blade?”

“Yeah, I guess…I just want to get it fixed so I can break the curse on my friend.”

“Is that so? I see, I see...” The creature moved even closer and Link took the opportunity to examine it more closely. It was solid green and sort of looked like...a cap. Link tilted his head this way and that still trying unsuccessfully to figure out what it was.

“You know, you and I have quite a lot in common. You see, I, too, am on a quest to break a curse of Vaati's. And you say that re-forging the sacred blade can break his curse, eh?”

Link nodded.

“Well, then you have found yourself a companion, my boy! My name is Ezlo. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Uh, thanks, but no. I’ll be all right on my own.”

Link got up and started walking, but stopped when the creature said, “Hey, kid! Where are you going? That's the way you just came from!” Link suppressed a growl, and turning around, he marched in the other direction. “Wait! Wait, I say! You walk so quickly! Too quickly, in fact! Surely you've noticed that I have no legs...”

Link kept walking and said, “I noticed, and you’ll only slow me down so you’re not coming with me, Lazlo.”

Not put off in the least the creature pecked his leg as he went by and Link stopped again. “Boy! Take a good look at me! Do you really think I can walk that fast? Augh! If it isn't one thing, it's another! You are a troublesome boy!”

“Look! I don’t have time for this!” Link shouted pulling out his sword. He waved it at the thing and yelled, “I have to find the Picori, Lazlo, now leave off!”

The creature’s beak curled into a disturbing smile and moving far more quickly than Link thought possible, climbed up the boy's body, settling itself on his head.

“Gah! Get off!” the boy cried.

“There! Now, you can't possibly leave me behind, and the name is Ezlo.” Link’s newly acquired ‘cap’ brought its head around in front of Link’s face and said in a rather satisfied tone, “My, my... It's quite comfortable up here.” Ezlo settled himself once again and said, “More comfortable than I thought, and much easier on me!”

Angry, Link began pulling at the ‘brim’ of it, but the stupid thing would not budge.

“Hey! Quit your squirming! Can't you sit still?” Ezlo asked. After a few more minutes of tugging, Link found himself looking at his sword and decided against trying to cut it off. He sighed and thought, Why does the kind of crap always happen to me?

“See!” Ezlo proclaimed as Link headed toward the forest. “There...Yes, yes! That's it. Much better. Now, I suppose a boy like you still has much to learn about the world. If ever you need my insight, I'll be happy to help!”

“Lazlo?”

“It’s Ezlo, kid.”

“Fine, then, Ezlo?”

“Yes, my boy?”

“Shut up.”

“Ah, such a hopeless child...”
Chapter end notes: wut?
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