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Screw Your Lid Let Me Tell It! by vampirella

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Chapter notes: honestly, i never thought id make it to the 4th chapter. im such a lazy fart >< enjoy

l:~Ileana
You know how guys are guys and they do things and say things that are, well, just plain stupid? And then there are times when they do things and say things that are just as stupid but as a woman you actually understand why they did it and instead of feeling anger you feel pity towards them?

Well, neither do I!

Guys are stupid. It's as easy as the sky being blue or the moon being a giant rock or the earth rotating on an axis.

It's no news to me. Trust me, I've learned my lesson right around my fifth boyfriend. Ryan was his name. Or was it Ron? R something… Any who, R-man was sweet, compassionate, and really knew how to excite a girl and show her a good time. We were in the bed just fooling around when it hit me: Hello! Guy! And just like that, I haven't had a serious relationship ever since. Sure I fool around, but who doesn't. I know what you're thinking: But, Sakura, you said he was sweet and compassionate. Yes, but I also said that the sky was blue and the moon was a rock. The truth is, the sky is just a hologram and the moon is actually made of cheese. See? Even scientists cover the truth with lies.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I want to protect all girls from men. Why? Well, I'm not sure yet myself. Maybe I just wanted to be remembered by something else rather than my looks and talent.

But right now that's not the case. I got both Blondie and Uchiha and even Kakashi starring at me like I'm performing for them at some red carpet swimsuit competition hosted by Tracy Morgan and special guest Lil john.

I'm telling you, go lesbian! It saves you the trouble. And I'm not just saying that so I can have all the pretty men all for myself. Really…I'm not.

Then… Into the water we go!

After endless rounds of going back and forth, forth and back, looking like idiots, freezing our asses off in cold water with nothing to protect us except a few scraps of light fabric, I was about ready to freeze over and wait for the next Ice Age when Kakashi said those words I thought I'd never hear. "Take five everyone."

I crawled out of the water and onto the river's edge like some creature of the black lagoon in a sexy white two-piece and immediately gasped for air. My heart felt like it would detach itself from within my ribcage if I didn't get it under control. My arms felt like heavy noodles. My legs felt worse. And I didn't even want to think of how I was going to be feeling it tomorrow when my photographer puts me in another one of her ridiculous, supposedly "sexy" and "eye-catching" positions.

At least my makeup was waterproof.

Kakashi walked over to us who were currently relearning how to breath. "Okay, you three have earned five minutes of rest." Grabbing his perverted book from his back pocket to read, he walked off.

I was going to tell him to put a sock on it and that we were going to get back to training --if you could even call it that. Pool party perhaps?-- when we were good and ready and well rested. But I caught myself. I didn't need to go around picking fights with everyone. And Sasuke and Naruto were big boys, and they had a voice too. They could have just as simply told Kakashi to kiss their arses, but didn't. So I assumed that they would be fine with just 10 minutes of rest. And if that was the case then I didn't need to tell Kakashi to extend our time because I didn't want to look like the weak one.

And plus it hurt to breath let alone talk.

So, here we were, Team 7, the Idiot, the Statue, and the Beauty, (AKA moi) sprawled on the grass trying to soak up as much warmth the sun would allow us. Which wasn't much. The sky was turning cloudy and I knew it would rain tonight.

Naruto was on the left of me, on his back, arms up and over his head acting as a pillow as he crossed his legs at the ankles. Closing his eyes, he seemed to be resting.

Sasuke was on the other side of me, leaving me in the middle. He was just sitting there with one leg raised up and his right arm dangling over it. To a person who hasn't known Sasuke like I have, they might have thought he looked like he was gazing at the water or the sky, just thinking.

But I knew better. He was studying Naruto and I. Every time we made a move, he could sense it. Even without Sharingan. It wasn't creepy. After all, what kind of ninja would one be if you couldn't even follow the movements of just Naruto! Not a very good one, that's what.

Even though I knew he was watching, that didn't stop me from turning onto my stomach and showing him my backside. I used my arms as a pillow and rested my chin on them. I was tired and I was going to sleep those five minutes away. So who cares if Sasuke watched, who cares. More than half of Konoha has already seen me with less clothes on than this. One more couldn't hurt. Even if it was Sasuke Uchiha.

So have a good time looking at me, you prev Uchiha. Because I…am…out…

~*~*~*~




-So you really don't care if I just stare?

-No, I care. But I'm a model. So I'm used to all the staring.

--stare-

-Sasuke! You perv! I didn't mean right this second.

-Touchy. You know, you'll never find a guy with that attitude.

-Same goes for you.

--glare-

-Have you ever even been with a girl?

-I didn't know you were a prostitute and a model, Sakura.

-Aw, you're mad.

-No. I'm. not.

-Right…-smile-
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