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Wanna Kill You, Wanna Kick You, Wanna Kiss You by rin_

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Name: Mitikori Tsumiko Age: 16 (oh yeah, this takes place in Shippuuden) Other: Odly enough both your parents were average, level-headed people, just simple farmers. But you, their pyro-maniac sociopathic offspring, turned out to be very different from them, starting with the fact that you're the first and only ninja in the family. Honestly, you didn't care for them and they didn't much for you, so when the time came for them to leave Konoha for more fertile land- you were about 11- you refused to leave and like Naruto was fortunate enough to be provided with an apartment. You haven't had contact with them since.
Okay, let's get this show on the road and start it with a flashback!



Three years ago -------------------------------------------------

Out of your periphreal vision you could see that smirk. That goddamned smirk. "So Tsumiko, just how ecstatic are you to be on my team?"

"Bite me."

"Ooh, a little fiesty today, aren't we?"

"Kiba, you have two options right now." Your voice was soft but threatening. "Either turn around and be a good little dog boy until our sensei comes, or be decapitated. I'll give you ten seconds to think this over."

He looked like he was seriously mulling over his choices, but then smiled. "Well, then I guess I'll be headless." He inched his chair closer to yours. "You're just too irrisistable." His hot vapor on your neck bcame more rapid as he started to laugh.

You gritted your teeth and readying yourself for a full-launched attack when you realized how childish you were being. Around Kiba you always acted this way, and it was fine before, but now that you were an official gennin, you had to act maturely. You had to be calm, cool, colected, and... aw screw it.

"KIBA I'M GOONA MURDER YOU, RIP YOU APART, AND SPREAD YOUR LITTLE PEICES OF KIBA KIBBLE ALL OVER THE WORLD SO NO MEDICAL NINJA COULD EVER PUT YOU BACK TOGETHER!!!"

You tackled Kiba, throwing him from his seat to the aisle. Down you went, tumbling and rolling to the bottom of the stairs, where unfortunately, Kiba came out on top. At least you got one good shot at him; his eye would be turning a lovely shade of blue later tonight. You began struggling violently to get up, but he had you pinned; you wouldn't be going anywhere until he let you.

You stopped the futile pushing and wriggling and just lay there scowling. "Ok, you can let me up now." You growled.

"Not until you're out of phsyco bitch mode!"

You rolled your eyes. "I'm calm now. I won't cause any destruction. I promise not to bruise up your pretty face. Now let me up."

"I don't know," Kiba mused, his dark eyes flickering. "I kinda like this position."

"Kiba.." You warned. "You can't stay here forever, and when you get up, there will be pain!"


"Nah, I'm a pretty fast runner. There can't be pain if you can't catch me." He smirked.

"It doesn't make sense. If you think I'm such a psyco bitch, why would you intentionally try to piss me off? It's a basic rule to life: Don't anger crazy people!" He began to laugh, just adding to your anger, but then you noticed something. His hand. He should have known better than to be so careless.. To leave it so close to your face. Now it was your turn to laugh. He didn't even notice you craning your neck closer and closer to his unsuspecting fingers until you bit down. Hard.

"GAH! LET GO OF MY HAND!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!" He thrashed around in the attempt to losen you, but that only made you bite down harder. "OK I'LL LET YOU UP!!!" You immediatly let go of the dogboy's hand and he scrambled off you.

For a minute you two just sat next to eachother staring at the bloody hand. "I can't believe you bit me." He said astounded.

"Neither can I." You blurted out, just as surprised as him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bite you that hard. Wait, what am I saying?! You deserved it jerk!"



Present Day --------------------------------------



"Tsumiko!"

"Hey Hinata." Your pale-eyed friend leaned in closer to you.

"Something wrong?" You let out a mental sigh. It was impossible to hide much from the trained byakugan.

"Besides my homeless status I'm good." You managed to say with a chuckle. Too bad it wasn't that funny. Maybe how you lost your appartment would be humorous to other people- which is why you hadn't shared that antecdote with anyone except Hinata- but not to you. You could kick yourself till the end of time for being so scatterbrained as to let that happen.

"So what are you going to do?" Hinata asked, eyes sloping at the side in concern- maybe pity?

"Don't know. I can't think of anyone I could stay with..."

"You know I'd let you stay with me if..."

"If your family wasn't so afraid I'd burn the compound down?" She giggled.

"They like you a lot, just not your pyro side."

"I'm quite the loveable person when not setting you on fire."

"Don't worry, we'll find you a place." She reassured. "Why can't you just stay where you've been sleeping the past couple weeks? I mean, you've been fine there, right?"

"It was perfect. But I'm in danger of spending all my savings. Hotels are too expensive, and I don't want to be broke."

"Okay," Hinata put her hand up to forehead to summon all her brain waves. "We need someone who doesn't mind a freeloader, can put up with you throwing your crap everywhere, and is either flame retardent or very forgiving."

"Hey Hinata! Hi Tsumi!" Naruto shouted from down the street.

You smiled. "I think I found my new landlord!" The blonde, in earshot, stepped foreward cautiously and a bit confused.

"What?" You gave him your biggest puppy-dog eyes and trademark forthecostofacupofcoffeeadaypityme smile.

"I'm in a bit of a pickle and need a place to stay. Just for a few nights. So....?"

"Sure!" He smiled. "There's not a lot of space but I can clear a spot for ya."

You turned to Hinata. "Problem solved."

"Oh, um, yeah." She was blushing too hard to give an acutal response.

"I was about to go get some food, but if you want to go get your stuff I can help you move it in." Naruto offered.

"That's okay," You shrugged off the bag hanging from your shoulder and into the grip of your hand. "This is just about everything left." You stared at the pitiful dirty bag. It wasn't even that heavy. Naruto looked down at it perplexed, probably deciding whether to laugh or feel bad.

"So what exactly happened to your house? No one I asked seemed to know."

"...Let's go get some ramen!" You chirped and broke into a high speed walk, hoping your new roommate would be distracted and follow. There was a hesitory pause for a moment, but then the two caught up to you without another word on the subject. Hinata knew of course about the accident- one of the only people who knew- but she wouldn't say anything. She didn't think anything of it, but she knew you were embarassed by it and therefore kept quiet. Which considering it was Hinata wasn't too much of a strech.

Once at Ichiraku's, you sat down at the bar and ordered a bowl of chicken ramen for yourself. "Since you've been kind enough to take in my poor homeless ass," You began, turning to Naruto and getting his atention. "I'll buy your first three bowls of ramen."

"Realy?!" His eyes widened just slightly.

"It's the least I can do." You said as you pulled out your scrawny little wallet. "Well, to put it more acurately it's the most I can do..."

"I can take care of it." Hinata said in a nearly inaudible tone. Her fidgetting fingers twitched around themselves before she pulled out her money. "I have s-some extra."

You stuffed the emaciated wallet back into your pocket. "Thanks lov. You're my favorite benefactor!" You grined and she smiled back. Her face had almost turned back to it's normal milky complection.

"N-Naruto?" She squeaked. You were amazed she was actually adressing him. "I'm s-sorry, but I only have enough for you to have eight bowls."

"Damn."

"S-sorry."

"Hinata, don't apoligize for having limited funds." You scolded softly.

"S-sorry."

"Actually," You corrected yourself. "Don't appologize at all. You're the last person I could ever think would have to be sorry for anything."

"Sor-" You gave her the eye and she stopped herself.

She straightened up. "I'm not sorry." Her eyes set dead ahead, she was somewhere between confident and determined.

"That's better." You praised like a proud teacher.

"Hey, you look different now, Hinata." Naruto exclaimed, examining her new visage a bit closer. Which of course was too much for the poor girl. "Hey, what happened? You're all red again." He leaned in closer, obviously not too bright when it came to trial and error. BAM! "Hinata! Why'd she faint?" Naruto exclaimed.

You, by now nealing at your friend's side, looked up at him dumbfoundedly. How did he not know after over five years? "Your guess is as good as mine." You said this sarcastically, but got the feeling Naruto hadn't picked that up. The concerned waitress brought over a glass of water. After thanking her, you began to flick small droplets on your unconscious friend and fanned her with your hand. "Hinata? Can you hear me?" You called out as if she was across the room.

Her eyes flickered and opened slowly. "Huh? Did I faint?" She sounded disapointed. "I guess you need to work on your nerves a bit more for these situations."

"Situations like what?" Naruto asked ignorantly.

"Um, ones with... spiders." You quickly made up a phobia, which right away didn't make too much sense for one obvious reason, which unfortunately Naruto caught on to.

"But how can she be afraid of bugs and be partners with Shino?"

"...Thanks for letting me stay with you! Let's go put my crap away." It was the second distraction you'd given, so Naruto was a little more aware of your tactics, but quickly dissmissed them and jumped from his chair.

"Ok, let's go!" He shouted. Hinata, still a bit wobbly, placed her money on the table with a shakey hand and you all left.

"Well," You started, gazing around the dishevled apartment. "This is pretty nice."

"I already said you could stay. You don't have to kiss ass."

"No, I really like it. Plus, I kept my room in the same manner. Messes don't bother me in the slightest." You really were being honest; his apartment was actually a bit cleaner than yours.

"Do you want to unpack or something?" Naruto asked, rubbing the back of his head.

"Sure." You threw your bag among a pile of clothes. "Done."

"Um, ok." It was apparent the blonde wasn't used to living with anyone.

"Oh, Tsumi," Hinata gasped. "We have to go meet Shino and Kiba."

"Oh, right." A pang in your stomach reminded you this wasn't going to be pleasant. For the better part of these last three years, spent mostly with your team, -and Kiba- you had been in the mindset of 'this isn't going to be pleasnant.' All because of Dog Boy. "Thanks again Naruto, but it's seems we'll have to continue this awkward conversation later."

The door closed behind you, Hinata began to whisper. "Do you think he knows I like him?"

"Really Hinata, you have to ask?" You snorted. "He couldn't be more clueless if he was chomatose."

"I'm not going to faint next time." She vowed.

"We'll train and prepare!"

"Just as long as you don't get as intense with it as last time..."

"Oh, come on. I only made you stay till sunset."

"Yeah, but we started at 9 in the morning."

"Fine, we'll only work on it for a few hours this time." You compromised. Suddenly, an ominous shadow surrounded you. It was such a suffocating presence, it could only be one thing..

"Well, well, Tsumi, is it possible you look even better than you did yesterday?"

"Bit me Kiba."

"You keep telling me to bite you, Tsumiko, and one day I will." A fang slipped out of his grin. "But I guess that's why you keep saying it. Good thing I like kinky girls."

"You're such a pig!" You bitch slapped the back of his head, sending him into a dizzying whiplash.

"You two have only been together 15 seconds and are already into it." Shino pushed off of the tree he was leening against. "Amazing."

"He started it!" You thrusted an indignant finger in the face of your arch enemy.

Kiba roled his eyes. "You are the human embodiment of maturity."

"Don't make me kick your ass." You threatened. Akamaru stood between the two of you, neutral and barking. "Hello my furry friend." You scratched a spot behind Akamaru's gigantic ear. "Happy to see me?" He barked a positive reply. "Akamaru's so nice Kiba, why can't you follow his example?"

"I'm nice, you just choose to see me as a jerk." He argued.

"No, I'm pretty sure you're just a flat out jerk."

"If we could get back to the reason we met..." Shino stared the two of you down.

You averted your gaze to the ground. "Sorry."

"We have a mission tomorow in the Mist." He started. "We have to perform as escorts for a fuedel lord's daughter. Meet at the front gate at 8 tomorrow." With this being the final word, the group began to disperse.

"Want to come to the compound for a bit?" Hinata invited.

"Can't. I have to go to the clinic and tell them I can't work tomorow." You explaned.

"See ya later then!" She waved before turning towards home. You opened the door to the clinic and a bell triggered, followed by the turmoil of barks.

"Hana." You called and looked around. Suddenly, she appeared from an examination room, a puppy in tote. For some reason the red streaks that ran parallel down her cheeks seemed a lot less menacing than those of her younger brother.

"Hey Tsumiko. Mission tomorow?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

"No problem. But are you free today? New litter needs vaccinations."

"Really?!" There wasn't much more besides a new litter of puppies that elated you this much. "Where?"

"Right in here." She walked into the second room to the right and huddled against their mother on a blanket was six furry little bundles. The mother was one of Hana's dogs you knew well, so she barely blinked when you scooped one of her puppies. He was a red sandy color with a deep bruise-like spot over one eye.

"Well," you cooed. "I guess I'll start with you." In the next room over Hana had left out sterilized needles and cotton swabs. The small bundle began to squirm in your arms at the site of the cold metal operating table and sharp objects. "Shh, it's fine." You assured softly. It took you all of five minutes to administer the four vaccinations he needed, all done with painless percision. You were an expert at making a needle puncture flesh without so much as an acknowlegement from your patient. It sucked your only talents were things not cool enough to brag about. "See? All done." Once a blue string was secured around his wrinkily little neck, you put him back to nuzzle against his mother. "Who's next?"


-------------------------


A small window in the waiting room revealed to you a luminous moon. You were in there longer than you expected, not that it mattered. After finishing with the puppies there were messes to mop up and dogs that wanted to play, and you weren't one to say no to fetch.

"Thanks so much for helping." Hana sighed.

"No problem! I love working here."

"I do too, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm tired. Got back from a mission and jumped right into work here. I'm just happy I get to go lay down on a nice soft bed." Her words began to drag out as she dreamed of slumber.

"Well, I don't have a bed, so not much for me to feel relaxed about." You laughed. It was meant to be nothing but a light comment, but Hana took it on a heavier note.

"If you need a place to stay-"

"Oh, no! I've got a place to sleep. Just no bed. But," You put up a reasurring finger. "a big comfy couch." That didn't seem to fit the discription of Naruto's small, hard-as-rock sofa, but you weren't one to let people feel bad for you.

"Well, okay. But just know there's a bed at my house. And I don't want my best employee miserable in dismal quarters."

"I think you're being a bit dramatic; you haven't even seen the place." You dissmissed quickly. "...But thanks. I'll remember the offer."

"Good." The mood was oddly warm and fuzzy, something you weren't so used to.

"Well, I better get going." You said in a fluttery, half-lauhging voice. Needless to say you were a bit awkward in sincerely nice situations. So it was in your nature to destroy them whenever they came up. "I'll see you soon!" You were so close; a hand on the door and had one foot out when the worst possible thing happened...

"Hey Hana...and Tsumi. This is a nice surprise." You had to grit your teeth against his sickening voice. "You don't have to run off so quick." His fake sweetness made you dizzy. And the night was going so well.

"Kiba, don't harrass my staff." Hana knew how much you disliked her brother, but, to your frustration, didn't believe you hated him.

A mechanical smile painfully twitched acoss your face. "Have to go! Bye!" As you would try to recall later, you weren't sure if you actually ran out of there or if it was just your imagination. The stones on the street got quite a beating on the way to Naruto's. "Can't believe I got run out of my favorite place!" You growled. The Animal Clinic was your sanctuary. The thought of seeing him there was beyond agrivating. You could feel the pent up frustration pulsing heatedly in your veins. All you wanted to do was beat that jerk down. And rocks were not a sufficient replacement.

The lights were off in Naruto's apartment. You just wanted to brood on the couch. Not in the mood to wait outside for him. You walked up to the door and as your fingers clamped around the knob prayed with your whole being it was unlocked. Click. "Sweet!" To your delite he left it open. Once inside, you didn't even bother turning the lights on; just fliped off your shoes and felt you way to the couch, not without a few stumbles and hushed curses. But your eyes adjusted quickly and the silouette of the sofa became slearer. After all the melodramatic behovior done on your part today, you were beat.

At the oposite end of the sofa sat a balled up blanket and pillow. "You rock Naruto." You thanked the imaginary prescence. It didn't take long to curl up and fall asleep. Surprisingly enough that hard couch was quite comfortable.
Chapter end notes: Sorry if this kind of sucked. I'll make it better next time!
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