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Story notes: This is a series of ficlets, You can request for me to make some of these actual chaptered fics and you can request that I do a pairing I really don't mind
Chapter notes: Hi there lovely people of TONFA!! I have done it, I posted a new place for my ficlets, that all focus on the touchy thing called love and how imperfect it can be, I don't mind requests, it would give me an idea of what I can do. Some may be in 1st person like this chappie, others will be 3rd person..
Enjoy!!
Always-ShikaIno angst ficlet.
Summary: Shikamaru lays awake at night pondering all those years he has had with Ino, and if they are really worth it. ‘Does she love me or am I replacement?’
Sometimes I can’t help but wonder, how did I wind up here, with you curled up so comfortably against my body. Your long blonde hairs tickling against my warm skin, and your limbs tangled with mine. There was a time where I couldn’t stand the sight of you, and your constant babbling about one person and one person in particular drove me up the wall. It was always the same thing, ‘Sasuke this,’ and ‘Sasuke that.’
To be completely honest, I hated you and I hated you bossing me around so much. Day by Day making my life more and more troublesome, but the fear of what you could do if you were motivated enough always kept me here by your side. I hated you and I loved you at the same time. That strength that you always had and then again that weakness that you could only let certain people see. It warms me so knowing that I am one of those you show your weakness, but then again I hate it.
I clearly remember the stories my father told me about working side by side with yours. He would tell me about how their skills went so well with each other, and then how ours would mesh so perfectly. Funny thing is, I wasn’t interested in a second of that, I couldn’t be. I was simply a lazy child, forced into this world by his father and his mother.
I know when I wake up in the morning I will hear your voice yelling at me, you calling me a lazy bum. Then again I know that I will stand there and take it, because it is the truth I am lazy. It confuses me how you could chose to be with a man like me, someone who would never fight back and then again never ignore you. Is that why you are with me, because I don’t ignore you? I want to ask you the same series questions everyday, ‘Why do you love me? Am I just like him, or something different? Do you ever think of him or am I the one you really want?’
My eyes go up to the ceiling fan that slowly spins round, the only thing keeping this room somewhat cool. My fingers slowly go up and down your arm, but yet you do not stir. Ino, I love you more than you will ever know, although being with you kills me everyday. I don’t know what this means to you, I don’t know if he still lives in your mind and your heart, and I am too afraid to ask. I love you, but I hate being with you. It will always be the same, until the day I get the courage to ask you. “I love you, I hate you, I can’t live without you,”(1) I whisper softly, knowing that my words will never change for as long as I live.
“NARA SHIKAMARU, YOU BETTER GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP RIGHT NOW,” I hear your voice cutting through my dream. I don’t remember what time I finally was able to fall asleep but I did, and I don’t want to get up. Although against my body and better judgment I manage to get my self up, it is the start of another day with you. Maybe today I will get that courage I hope for every night.
FIN
Side Note: “I love you, I hate you, I can’t live without you” is an actually quote from a song. The song is “Always” by Saliva. Thank you for reading this.