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The Replacement by Yumi

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Chapter notes: Disclaimer in the summary. Don't sue me.

A/N: HEY! It's my first real SasuNaru!! Yes, you all love the couple, so become enthralled with my story and REVIEW!!!!!! XD

Seriously, I'm whoring myself to a pairing I only semi-appreciate to get reviews. I'm dying here!! Help me live by sending me ratings and reviews!! I promise this is gonna be good!!!!!!

- Yumi
One: A Change in Schedules

“Phone sex.”


“You know! You call me and I indulge your fantasies over the phone.”

“Er. . . I know.”

“Then what’s the big deal?”

“Phone sex?”

“Yes. . .?”

“That’s. . . a bit. . . perverted, don’t you think?”

“Oh, com’on! You’ve done WAAAAAAAAAY more perverted things in the bathroom.” Ino said, drying off her hair and smirking at Sasuke’s awkwardness. “Especially with all those improptu–”

“DONE!!” Sasuke shouted, ending the conversation. “Hand me the towel, would you?”

“I’m not done with my hair!”

“Yeah, but you stole my towel, so I have more of a right to use it than you do.” Sasuke said, dripping wet except for his arms which he had dried off before Ino snatched the thing.

“Oh, fine!!” she said, tossing the semidry towel in his direction. Sasuke thankfully caught and dried himself off quickly, the frozen feeling disappearing with the water. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“No, I have work, and Sakura. . .”

“Why are you still with her? You’re fucking me, flirting with Tenten WHO, by the way, is with Neji!!”

“I know.”

“Then if you’re unhappy with Sakura, why don’t you break up?”

“No one better has come along.”

“I’m insulted!!”

“You’re a great fuck, Ino, but I’ve never been attracted to you other than physically.”

“Oh, well. . . I guess that’s okay?” she said, kind of questioning it. “Whatever. Will you hook up with Tenten?”

“She’s another one whom I’m not terribly attracted to except in one way.”

“How many different ways could you POSSIBLY be attracted to that forehead woman?”

“She’s a medical student, so I’d have a doctor around all the time, she doesn’t have a great body, but it’s flattering sometimes, I like her eyes. . . meh, and she’s been after me for a long time.”

“So “persistent” is the only good quality she has?”

“I guess.”

“Break up!” Ino sang.

“Not until I have a replacement.”

“What, are you too scared of being single?”



“I think Sakura doesn’t appreciate how easily she can be replaced. I want to make sure she knows how replaceable she really is.”

“Oh, revenge?”

“Sort of. She needs to be taken off her high horse.”

“Okay, but I’m not getting blamed if she finds out all this crap happened afterward.”

Sasuke worked at a sex shop merely because no one would ever know he worked there. He worked late-night shifts in the middle of a downtown district. There was tons of night life, and tons of customers. However, none of his friends were interested in sex (except Ino). He was sure that Neji, Shikamaru, Chouji, and Kiba all had their share of porn, and he knew that Shino did (an unfortunate collision with Shino on his way out the door resulted in the showing of several lesbian magazines), but Sasuke figured it was just idle fantasy. However, if any of the guys ever did come into the shop for something, Sasuke wouldn’t hide. He’d just make it so that everything was normal except what they were buying. He did that with Ino when she found out. She had come into the shop and was buying costumes, lube, and a two-way dildo. When she found out that Sasuke worked there, she had to spill her guts, and Sasuke used that information against her. Ino wouldn’t tell anyone where he worked, and he wouldn’t tell anyone that she was fucking her professor for a good grade. . . along with her friend. . . which explained the dildo. From then on, they’ve had a comfortable relationship, if a bit black mailed.

“OI! Teme!” Naruto said, sweeping the front of the shop his guardian owned. “You’re late!”

“I had girlfriend issues.”

“You always have girlfriend issues!” the blonde said, sighing. “Ero-sennin wants to see you.”

“About what?”

“Work schedule change. Instead of that other girl, you’re working with me from now on.”


“Yeah, I knew you wouldn’t be too happy.”

“Why do I have to work with an incompetent boob like you?!?”

“Did you just call me a boob???”

“It’s a saying. Anyway, why am I working with you?!?”

“That girl, Terri. . . we found out that she was sixteen.”


“Yeah, we’re trying to keep it under wraps for now. It just looks like we fired her on the paperwork.”

“So, why is the work schedule changing?”

“I can’t work the hours you and she did.”

“You’re here now.”

“I had to make an exception today and skip class. We just fired her this afternoon.”

“I see.”

“Just go talk to the old man. He’ll tell you everything.” Naruto said, bringing the broom inside the shop and opening the register.

It turned out that, yes, Naruto was telling the truth. Terri had been WAAAY underage, and had somehow gotten a fake social security number and ID, and was a pretty damn good liar. Apparently she was an art student, specializing in erotic art, and she wanted to work in a place where she could picture all of her art. It was a shame she was just too young.

“How did she get away with her parents letting her out late at night?” Sasuke asked, knowing that no decent mother and father would let their kid out after about 10:30 on a school night.

“She’s one of those ‘raised herself’ kids. Her parents are in Taiwan or something like that and sent her to America for her schooling. She lives with her older sister who could hardly give a shit.” Jiraiya said. “She drives herself on top of it all.”(1) Sasuke sighed.

“Fine, so when do I come in now?”

“As of tomorrow, you’re working all days except for Wednesdays at your usual hours.”


“Yes, because we’re getting busier and busier on Fridays and Saturdays, and Terri was working those hours on Fridays. You’re already here on Saturday and working good hours. We’ll need you on Fridays until we get some more help.”

“When we get help, then can I get Fridays off?”

“You’ll take a cut in your pay.”

“I’ll work Wednesdays.”

“We’ve decided that Wednesdays will be our day off. It’s hardly worth running in the middle of the week.”

“Shit.” Sasuke mumbled

“I can give you longer hours if you want once we get in the newbies.”

“No, I can’t work any earlier.” he said, knowing that Sakura would throw a fit if he ended their dates before he started work.

“Fine by me. You start work at 11 and go until closing at 5.” Jiraiya said. “Oh, also, I’ve informed everyone that you get a bonus if you can sell the collection set of all twenty Icha Icha Paradise books.” Sasuke’s eyebrow twitched.

“You mean those word-porn books you publish?”

“The very same.”

“Consider at least one sold.”


“I have an old professor who worships you.” Jiraiya smiled.

“Well! Tell him that I’d be more than happy to sign any of the books he’d like!” Sasuke just rolled his eyes and left the room to go to work.

“So, what hours?” Naruto asked when Sasuke opened the register.

“Same, except I’ll be working Fridays.”

“That sucks.”

“Aren’t you working Fridays as well?”

“Yeah, but only until midnight.” Sasuke shrugged and pulled up a chair. This was the last Wednesday he was going to work, and he might as well enjoy the lack of customers. “Oi, aren’t you going to do anything?”

“There’s no one here, baka.”

“So? You can always go in the back.”

“It’s not my job. Why would I?”

“Well, you take care of your boredom.”

“I’m not bored.” Sasuke said, pulling out Time Magazine from underneath the counter. “I’m reading.”

“You can read that stuff?” Naruto asked.

“It’s better than Icha Icha.” Sasuke answered. Naruto scoffed.

“Yeah, the old man can’t write for shit.” the blonde admitted. Sasuke ignored him and went back to reading something about Pluto not being a planet anymore. It was kind of an old magazine, but this was the only place where he could get his reading done properly. “Oi,”

“What? I’m trying to read.” Sasuke said, glaring.

“Your phone’s vibrating, sheesh.” Naruto said, handing the brunette a thin, black phone with the picture of a pink haired girl showing on the front. “Is this your girlfriend?” Sasuke snatched the phone and picked it up.

“Hello, Sakura.” Sasuke said, half cheerfully.

“Hi!” she said, particularly perky that day. “I was wondering what you were doing Friday?”


“But you don’t have work on Fridays!”

“Bad news. Some girl got fired and all the work schedules changed.”

“When does your shift start?”


“Oh! We can go out for dinner, right?” Sasuke sighed.

“I. . . suppose we could.” he said, wishing he hadn’t spoken the truth. “What time?”

“Pick me up at 6:30! I’ve already made reservations for 7:00!”


“You’ll see!!” she said. “Ja!” and she hung up. Sasuke just hung up his phone and shoved it in his pocket.

“Naruto,” Sasuke said.


“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“A while ago.”

“Was she a pain?”

“Not really.”

“Consider yourself a lucky man.” the brunette said, opening up his magazine again.




(1): I know a couple of people whose parents are not in America. Rather they live with their old siblings or grandparents so that they can get their education in America while their parents are making money back in the homeland. Granted, all the ones I know aren’t wild, but they do have a lot more freedom than your average teenager because their parents aren’t keeping careful watch on them. . .

A/N: Okay, I’ve truly succumbed into writing SasuNaru, but I think it’s about time I wrote at least one! (Besides the fact that I'm dying for reviews -____-;;) I’ve been on TONFA for over a year and I haven’t written one! xp Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this one. I’m kinda not sure how this is all going to work out, but it can’t be too bad, right? ^^;;;
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