Sometimes I find myself wondering how and when things happen, and why things never ever make sense to me. Aren’t I supposed to be this intelligent person, whose feelings about things I have learned to shut down completely? If that is so why is it when I look over at the blond hair cascading down the side of my partners face, affect me so? Could it be that I feel I have betrayed them in such a way that there is no way I can forgive myself for it, or maybe it is my feeling have simply diverted to another. Flashes of a different blond haired person flies by in my vision, blurring my thoughts once more, someone that I have promised to protect all because it was all apart of the life that I have chosen. Maybe that is why 12 year olds shouldn’t be able to choose what they want so suddenly, because there is no way you can tell who will surpass you in the future. It may seem funny how that happens, but it did happen with me and a certain classmate that had who just happened to be the one all who looked down upon while I was called the genius.
Ha! ’Genius,’ I laugh at the word every time someone says that in a way to describe me, it almost makes me sick. If I were such a genius why am I following around a kid that I once looked down on, and married to a girl that I once could not stand for the life of me? It sends me into a confusion that I can’t seem to wrap my head around, almost as if it is something that I just did not see coming even as it was happening. Funny how my thoughts wander back to ten years, as I stare up at this ceiling and wonder if my teammates and home were the right people to follow. Back then, I didn’t care for girls or that fellow student that wound up being the leader of this very village, but someone found a way to change that all for me. She changed my life and now I find myself wondering…..
*~*~*~*
“Hello, anyone in there,” there it was Ino’s voice breaking into my peaceful, restful, and relaxing cloud gazing. Yes, I know, right now I really should be training for some big chunnin exam coming up, but I just don’t have the motivation for it. Personally I would much rather stay just like this, arms behind my head as the cool grass tickles against my skin as the wind blows by. “Shikamaru,” she is now yelling at me, half of the words that come out of her mouth falling on tired, deaf ears, but just to make her shut it I will get up.
“How troublesome,” I say as I lift my tired and relaxed body from the ground, “what does someone have to do to get a little bit of time to just relax and what clouds?” I stretch out my limbs, let out a long yawn as I get into my usual stance. I really don’t want to be here, I don’t really want to be doing this, although if I said this to Ino I wouldn’t here the end of it. First, it would be about how this is the best for the team, and then somehow or the other it would melt into this big declaration of love to Sasuke and how she will get her revenge against Sakura.
“Well I am very sorry about that Shikamaru, but you have been cloud gazing for most of the afternoon,” there she is again, now most likely going into the ‘How Important This Is and Why We Have to Train’ speech. A speech that I have heard so many different versions, for many different reasons, and each has the same outcome. “And I will have my revenge against Sakura, for getting all of that time with Sasuke!!” Nothing like using the chunnin exams all for revenge, for something so unimportant like a crush that will never feel the same.
“Are you ready to spar or what,” I ask a hint of annoyance in my voice, because I am up and ready in my stance and my shadow possession jutsu already in affect. Ah yes nothing like using your opponent big mouth against them, just watching her trying to make a move makes a smile comes across my face.
“Shikamaru,” she yells out annoyed, “you cheat!!!”
“Not my fault, you let your guard down with all that talking,” I simply explain as I let the jutsu fade away, “you really shouldn’t allow your opponent such an opportunity, stay focused and don’t let anything distract you. Not me, Chouji, or anyone for that matter especially, Sasuke and Sakura.” Yet another reason I don’t like girls all that much, because the most inconsequential things will distract them from the things that need the most attention, such as a battle or even sparring match. Although that is just how they are I guess, because I have yet to meet a girl that was able to be the exact opposite.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Ugh,” I say as I roll over trying to shut my eyes tight, hoping that sleep will just come to me very easily. Unfortunately, I am having no such luck tonight, there is just something about tonight that makes this all very different. I hear a low, tired groan from Ino, my partner for many years and now my wife, the girl that once drove me crazy with her declarations of love to Sasuke. Although now, she is one that I chose to spend my life with, or rather agreed to spend my life with. I look over at her and let out a slow, silent sigh and shake my head slowly and go back and staring at the ceiling, watching the fan turn slowly. I close my eyes and bite my lip, with the thoughts of the girl who wound up changing my life flashing before me.
Closing my eyes, I can hear the sound of her voice, and the sound of her fan whooshing in the air. That first encounter with her, she underestimated me and I never let my guard down consistently planning out my next move. The first girl I fell in love with, was loud and brash and could beat the crap out of me.
~*~*~*~*~*~
‘How did I wind up here, hiding behind a tree hiding from some girl with a big fan.’ I hear my inner voice scolding me as I look around the tree, gazing at the young female ninja from Suna. In the back of my mind, even before the match, I had thoughts of forfeiting the match, but that was the thing the voice in the back not to be heard or in any case obeyed. All I can really hear right now, is her taunting in an attempt to draw me out into the open for the battle as I am cursing Naruto for shoving me over the balcony. Of course that idiot had to have the first match and he just had to be all excited after he won. Although, I probably deserved that for not moving when he just appeared by my side and now here I am trying to figure out my next move.
I look up to the sky and watch as the cloud move away and bringing out the sun more clearly, the shadows on the ground grow larger. Here it is my opening I take of my shirt and tie it to a kunai and throw it in the air, the wind catching it and making it float through the sky as I perform my shadow possession jutsu once more. She jumps, even closer to a hole created by Naruto and Neji in the last match, I got her now.
I bet she didn’t even notice the hole that is right behind her, because she starts in on how I really can’t beat her. A small smile comes to my face, as she begins to take some steps but find that she can’t do so. I come out and step towards her I see the fear in her eyes and I don’t even say a word as I lift my hand up in surrender….
~*~*~*~*~
“Buzz, Buzz,” the alarm clock goes off as Ino rolls over in the bed and gets up, its morning already and I have yet to get any sleep. It is almost sad how I have these sleepless nights, my thoughts lingering on the people that I encounter the most of all through out the day and one person that I hardly ever see anymore.
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Story notes: A story about a man, caught between his past and dreams of what he really wants, and what he has now...
Chapter notes: This is like the prelude to many of the problems that are ahead for our lazy hero of the story. I guess this plays off of the fact that Shikamaru is always looking to sky. What does he think about, I guess tonight it followed him to bed. This is set about 8 years in the future, in the world of Naruto. Now we know that I don't own Naruto right?