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An Upward Decent by Kalika

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Table of Contents

- Text Size +
/blah/=memories “blah”= speech ‘blah’=thought

Warnings: This one is clean.

Disclaimer: ummm…we all know that Naruto isn’t mine!! Though I do wish it was but its not, its Masashi Kishimoto’s.

Notes: this is my first Naruto fic and I must admit I fell hard and fast for the KakaIru pair so… Hope you like it!!

Feedback: Yes please!! All is craved for and accepted!!

Chapter 1

Twist the kunai in my heart


Iruka say at his window, gazing out at the moon lit forest. He could hear the little bugs chirping and humming, but underneath all of it he could hear Naruto practicing his jutsu.

The boy’s whispered katas floated up to Iruka’s window drawing the man into his memories, memories that drowned him.

‘ The Fox Demon was huge and despite the strict orders of the elders to stay put, a young Iruka followed his parents to the battle ground.

He had never seen so much blood and gore before and the sight made his stomach turn, but what made his breath catch was the sight of his parents.

His father stood bravely with blood dripping from his limp arm and with his shurikens flying from his other hand. His mother stood by his father; her hair caked in dried, black blood. As Iruka took a closer look he saw the trail of tears through the dust on her face.

Suddenly a tail of the Demon caught the frontline of shinobi’s causing his mother and father to fly.

“ Mother! Father!” Iruka screamed without meaning to and he started to running to his fallen parents. Just the thought of getting to them pulsed in his veins.

He watched horror as his mother pushed herself off the ground, spitting blood and holding her ribs. His father lay by her, unmoving and deathly still.

“ Mother!” Iruka screamed, tears blurring his vision as he ran to her.

“ Iruka, be strong but please, stay away.” His mother mouthed before the Fox caught her again and she went soaring. When she landed the second time she didn’t get up.

Iruka screamed as an older Jonin suddenly picked him up.

“ No! Let me go! Mom and Dad, they are still out there fighting!!” he fought against the man holding him, the man running with him, running away from the fight.

“ Quiet,” The man whispered as Iruka stopped fighting and went limp crying.

The fight had lasted all night but when the sun rose so did a new beginning. Naruto was born and with him the spirit of the Fox Demon. But with the dawn also came the death toll, Iruka’s parents were counted among them and Iruka was left alone.

He became the class clown, searching for someone to praise him and respect him. He just wanted someone to notice how good he was, to be proud of him and it hurt, it hurt so much.’


Iruka sighed and looked out at the memorial stones, standing tall and proud with the names of those who had died fighting carved deep into them. He couldn’t count the number of times he would sit by the stone; running his fingers over the names of his parents.

Tears blurred Iruka’s vision and he lowered his head letting a few tears slide down his face and fall to the windowsill.

“ You crying?” The familiar voice of Kakashi cut like a hot knife through Iruka’s memories.

“ No…wait…what?” Iruka hastily wiped at the tears in his eyes and looked up at Kakashi who was perched on a tree branch outside of his window.

“ So what’s up? Why ya sad? It’s a beautiful night and you shouldn’t be sad. Why ya crying?” Kakashi smiled and jumped through the window, brushing Iruka aside as he swung through the window.

“ I’m not crying…” Iruka hissed glaring at Kakashi’s back as he headed for the fridge. “ What are you doing here anyway?”

“ Hmmm…I’m hungry…” Kakashi kind of trailed off as he rummaged in the fridge.

Iruka hissed softly as Kakashi mumbled something to the milk and cheese.

“ Say what?” Iruka jumped up on the counter, wiping the rest of his tears away quickly.

“ Now tell me, why are you crying?” Kakashi turned after concluding that there was nothing appetizing in Iruka’s fridge and leaned against the opposite counter, staring at Iruka with his deep blue eye.

“ I already said I wasn’t crying!” Iruka’s voice rose to a yell. He gripped the edge of the counter so hard his knuckles grew white and he shut his eyes tight, trying to keep his rage at bay.


Suddenly he felt the gentle brush of Kakashi’s hand against his cheek. His eyes flew open and he stared at this tear shinning on Kakashi’s finger. He looked up at Kakashi and he lost it.

Kakashi’s eye widened in surprise at the sight of the young dolphin that had suddenly dissolved into tears, He wasn’t sure what to do as Iruka sobbed softly, shoulders shaking and little hiccupping breaths making the chunins short ponytail bounce. Instinct took over and Kakashi stepped p to the counter Iruka was sitting on.

Iruka looked up, realizing the Jonin was so close that his knee bumped Kakashi's thigh and suddenly Kakashi crushed him to his chest causing him to freeze in surprise.


Kakashi seemed like the kind of guy who was always in his cool and elegant grace, not one who was big on physical contact, so it came to as a surprise that Kakashi had Iruka in a firm but gentle hug.

Kakashi sat for a moment, the feel of Iruka in his arm sent a warm rush through him, but Iruka had froze and Kakashi quickly stepped back, fear replacing the warm feelings of a moment before.

Iruka felt the warm body of Kakashi being cruelly ripped away and without really realizing it he reached out for the Jonin, pulling him back to engulf himself in the older mans chest. He buried his face into Kakashi's neck and just let go. He sobbed into Kakashi's chest, only faintly realizing the Jonin had wrapped his arms comfortingly the young dolphin.

Kakashi was surprised that Iruka had grabbed him, but as the dolphin sobbed into his shoulder he attentively wrapped his arms around Iruka and he pulled the young man closer. He had never seen Iruka cry, let alone sob shamelessly in Kakashi's arms.


“ I…I …it hurts Kakashi, it hurts so much. I am so alone, always alone…” Iruka sobbed into Kakashi's neck. Finally letting all the years of pain and hurt put even though Shinobi rule # 25 whispered in the back of his mind.

“ Shh…” Kakashi cooed into Iruka's ear, he didn’t know what else to do except make soothing noises and let the dolphin babble. “ You don't have to be alone anymore.” He whispered into Iruka's ear, his hand rubbing soothing circles over the dolphins back.


“ What do you mean?” Iruka drew back slightly, sniffling and look curiously into Kakashi’s visible eye. “ I have know nothing but this loneliness, how can I not be alone now?” Iruka felt his pulse quicken as he saw a glint in Kakashi’s eye that he had never seen before.

“ You don't have to be alone” Kakashi whispered and to Iruka's great surprise, the Jonin leaned forward and pressed his cloth covered lips to Iruka's.


Iruka jerked back in shock, the feel of the soft cloth against his lips sent shivers dancing down his spine. He felt his face flush and he looked down at the tile covered floor.

Kakashi smiled, leaning forward again, thinking Iruka was just shy, but Iruka jerked back.

“No…” Iruka whispered making Kakashi freeze, searching Iruka's face, fear rippling through him at the though that maybe he had pushed Iruka too far.

“What?” Kakashi took a step back, feeling suddenly too close for comfort to the trembling dolphin.

“ I said no…not yet, please Kakashi not now.” Iruka stumbled over his words and he saw Kakashi lean back against the opposite counter.

“ Okay”

“ What?” Iruka’s head shot up and he watched as Kakashi headed back to the window. “ Wait!” Iruka jumped off the counter following Kakashi to the windowsill.

“ Okay, I respect your decision, but just so you know, you are not alone.” Kakashi smiled faintly and he jumped on the tree branch outside of Iruka's window. He turned to look at Iruka one more time, “ I am alone as well, I don't want to be alone anymore…I want to be with you.”

Iruka's eyes widened and his mouth dropped, he had figured that much seeing as Kakashi had just kissed him. He didn’t expect Kakashi to just come out and say it.

“Kakashi…” Iruka whispered and he took a step forward, but Kakashi was already gone leaving Iruka to stare at the spot where he once stood.

Iruka sank down beside the window, pulling up his knees. This was just too much at one time, he rested his chin on his up drawn knees and he sighed. He didn’t want to be alone either, but to go with Kakashi…what would people think?

Iruka silently chastened himself for being so stupid, it’s not about what other people think, he could care less what they though…or did he? He didn’t know what to do and he was tired and he felt like a jerk. He had hurt Kakashi and what if Kakashi never wanted to see him again?

He was sinking into sleep and he had to go to work the next day, he wasn’t sure if he could crawl over to his bed, so he curled on the floor under the window and feel into the sweet darkness of sleep.
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