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Coin Operated Boy by Yumi

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I'm cruel.

And I love it. X3

I was inspired by the song "Coin Operated Boy" while re-reading the other Sasori fic I'll be posting next. The two just kind of clicked. . . and I am just a friggin' saddist! XD
Coin Operated Boy

One: Onsen

Coin operated boy
Sitting on the shelf
He is just a toy
But I turn him on
And he comes to life
Automatic joy
That is what I want
A coin operated boy



That was the only way to describe it.

Just. . . Disturbing.

Sasori had been on a trip with Deidara to Kirigakure, and everything went according to plan. They accomplished their mission (gathering information about the various bijuu), and were heading back home. Before leaving the town completely, Deidara decided that he wanted to take a break and sit in the public onsen for a while. Sasori wouldn’t have it. Rei-dono was waiting, and he couldn’t stand making people wait. Thus, they bickered about it until finally Deidara won. Sasori grumbled about how annoying it would be to have to oil all his joints again after they were in water, thinking about how much rust and calcium would be built up over time.

That wasn’t the disturbing part.

The onsen was fairly normal, if not a bit cold. Sasori asked specifically for a private room, since he couldn’t have people looking at his puppet body. It might draw attention to their association and cause. However, it seemed that the old woman who was running the bath house was blind. The room she showed Sasori to was a girls only room that could easily be connected to the main hot spring. However, before Sasori could say anything to the hag, she was gone.

Even that wasn’t the disturbing part.

It was the girl.

Sasori didn’t know who she was, but she couldn’t have been more than thirteen. Her hair was neatly put up into short, fluffy pig tails, a towel adorning the top of her head, and she was clothed only in a wet towel that clung to her body for dear life. In her hands were small dolls, which she was playing with as if she was an immature five-year old.

Sasori was thoroughly annoyed.

“Imooto-baka,” he sneered, glaring at the little girl. “Ikou.” She looked up at him and tilted her head in confusion. “Do you not understand? Leave.”

“Why should I? I was here first!!”

“The lady gave me this room to use.”

“We can share!”

“No we can’t. Ikou.” Sasori growled. “Or I’ll break your dolls.”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” she said, smiling. “T-chan and Q-chan don’t like it when people hurt them.”

“Your dolls can’t move, baka.”

“Yes they can! Watch!!” she said, standing the wooden dolls on their feet and staring at them. Sasori raised an eyebrow, wondering if she could control them with her chakra. Instead of putting out her hands to control the dolls, she folded them in her lap and continued to stare intently at the figures.

They didn’t move.

“You’re a liar.”

“They moved!! Didn’t you see them? T-chan and Q-chan shook hands and kissed each other, and then walked over to the towel there and sat down and talked, and then they came back!!!”

“Wait, they kissed?” Sasori asked, seeing that T-chan and Q-chan were both visibly male.

“Yes! T-chan and Q-chan are in love!!” she exclaimed. Sasori had blank look on his face, but inside all he could think of was how insane this girl was.

“Why don’t you go outside and soak in the onsen with T-chan and Q-chan? It’s nice outside.”

“Okay!!” she said, taking her dolls and happily skipping away. . .

Even THAT wasn’t the disturbing part.

Sasori sighed and undressed, finding his tools and polish in the small tub he brought with him. He cleaned his tools in the water in the shower area and began his detailed maintenance of his body. First there was the disassembling of his legs, polishing the skin and cleaning the joints of any dust and blood that may be there. Then the same thing for his arms, controlling separate parts of his body in order to clean his hands. After that he took off his head and lower torso to have his newly cleaned hands do the fine work on those parts. Finally he polished his body (not needing to do any work on the joints, for he had just added a new weapon where his bowls used to be), and reassembled himself into a single, whole man once again.

“WOW NIICHAN!!!!!” the girl screamed once Sasori had put himself back together again. “YOU’RE AMAZING!!!!!!!”

“Go away.” Sasori said, glaring. “Or I’ll have to kill you.”

“You can’t kill me. They’ve tried before.”


“Mommy and Daddy. . . and this guy in a funny robe with ‘Water’ in his head.”

“The Mizukage?”

“I don’t know. Who’s that?” the girl asked, completely clueless.

“Why couldn’t they kill you?”

“I dunno. T-chan and Q-chan didn’t like it.” she said, pointing to her wooden companions. “Mommy and Daddy are dead now, and I don’t know what happened to the funny guy.” Sasori carefully inspected the girl. He knew there were several children who were natural geniuses with chakra, but he had never heard of one that killed so instinctively. “Hey, niichan, are you a doll?”

“No, I’m a puppet.”

“It’s the same thing!” she said, walking up to him and looking at his body. “Wow! You can move too!”

“Of course.” he said, getting annoyed. “Now go away.”

“No! Play with me!!”

“Why should I?”

“You’re a dolly!! I like you!!!”

“That doesn’t mean I like you.”

“But you’re made to like me! That’s what Mommy told me!!” she insisted. “You’re name’s P-chan!!”

“That’s not my name.”

“It is now!!” she said, grabbing Sasori’s hand and dragging him into the onsen. Though Sasori tried to stand his ground, he was soon pulled away by the small girl, who apparently was a lot stronger than she looked. “We’re going to go into the hot spring now!”

“I can’t go in the hot spring.” Sasori said.

“Of course you can! You’re a dolly!!” she insisted. “Okay, you sit here with T-chan and Q-chan, and I’ll be right back with mochi!!” she said, shoving the two dolls into Sasori’s hands. “And if you try to move, T-chan and Q-chan will hurt you!” The girl then ran off into the bath house, dripping wet, leaving Sasori alone in the pool with two stupid dolls. The puppet master looked down at the dolls in his hands, glaring. What the hell was all that about?!?

“Well, T-chan and Q-chan, it seems P-chan has to leave now. I’m not supposed to be here anyway.” he said, not exactly sure why he was talking to the dolls. He set them down on the rocks and climbed out of the onsen, looking for a towel to hopefully dry himself off with before he began to rust. When the red head came back out to check if the girl was back or not, he found the dolls missing. He figured the girl must have come back and found her new “friend” missing, thus taking her dolls and leaving to find Sasori.

However, that wasn’t the case.

Sasori turned around and found that behind him were T-chan and Q-chan, staring up intently at him. The puppet master raised an eyebrow, looking at the dolls who seemingly followed him. He didn’t know what to do, really. Was this some joke of the girl’s doing? It wasn’t funny.

“I’ll rust if I go into the water. Fights are one thing, the onsen is quite another.” he told the dolls. “Where are you, imooto-baka?” Sasori looked around his area, but found no trace of a presence. “Whatever. I’m not staying here. Where’s Deidara?” Sasori asked out loud, getting dressed and going to find his partner.




onsen: hot springs. Usually, a shower is taken before going into the hot spring to make sure that your body is clean before mingling with other bodies.

Imooto-baka: (literally) stupid younger sister. In Japan, people are called “brother” or “sister” according to age difference. Though Sasori and this girl are not blood related, she is younger than him, thus he calls her (somewhat affectionately) little sister. Older men and women are called “grandpa” or “grandma” as well.

Ikou: go/ leave (this is short for ikimasu.)

Niichan: older brother. This has the same meaning as when Sasori called the little girl “imooto”.

mochi: pounded rice cake. It looks like a white blob, if you don't know what it is. . .

A/N: Hehehe. . . I love how this is going. . . See you all next time *evil smile* Please rate and review!!!!!!
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