One
Crushes that Crush the Heart
For as long as I can remember - longer, in fact - there’s one name that’s never far from my mind. Only one name. Everyone ogles over him - he’s so handsome, charming, smart and talented, but he’s so cold and distant from everyone. I always thought that the girls who openly gawked at him were making stupid fools out of themselves, but I was one of them in secret. I tried not to show it, though I know I did. There was always something about him, the look in his beautiful black eyes, that made me want to help him. It made me want to always be there for him, but he wouldn’t even lean on my shoulder any longer than necessary. He refused help, he refused love, he refused friends. He had no family. He was a mystery to all but himself.
Ever since I was little, watching him, I knew I loved him. I knew that one day, Sasuke Uchiha would tell me the same.
But the way things were going, that day looked to be very, very far off.
“Sakura!”
The pink-haired kunoichi, startled from her thoughts, glanced up. Her aqua green eyes narrowed at the blonde before her, grinning like a maniac. “What do you want, Naruto?” she snapped, hating to be interrupted like this. Especially when she was thinking about Sasuke-kun. She didn’t want anyone to think she would lower herself to the likes of the idiotic fangirls that were never far from her beloved Sasuke-kun. Those empty-headed little acolytes always made her fume, in private, wishing she could just bury them all alive.
The orange-adorned genin grinned at her, his light, yet oddly husky voice loud and beligerent in the peaceful silence. “I’m going to get some Ramen, Sakura-chan! Want to come with?” He closed his eyes as he grinned even wider - if that was possible, she thought - and she frowned at him.
“No thanks, Naruto,” she answered cooly, her hand self-consciously straying to her side. Where the letter was. “I have things to do.” She hoped he hadn’t noticed the movement, as though she was trying to hide something -- which she was, trying to conceal the little white that peeked out. That letter held her life. It held her heart. It held her future. “Maybe I will later,” she added, in an attempt to get him to leave.
“Okay, Sakura-chan!” Oddly, his voice cracked in the middle of her name, coming out low and gravelly, and she glanced at him curiously as his face flamed red. Oh, wow! she thought in an effort not to laugh. His voice cracked! Unable to control herself any longer, she burst out in high peals of laughter, to the mortification of her already embarrassed teammate, who scowled at the girl, his face scarlet. Well, she thought as she wiped tears from her eyes, Naruto is a teenager now, isn’t he? Unlike Sasuke, he had yet to mature, his voice still high and childlike. Sasuke’s, though, was low and sexy, even if he didn’t intend for it to be. Naruto screwed up his face in a pouting, angry look, and complained, “That’s not fair, Sakura-chan, you shouldn’t make fun of me like that!”
“I’m sorry, Naruto.” But she still laughed, one last peal that made his eyebrows furrow together as he pouted. He shifted his weight, scratched the back of his head, looking vaguely uncomfortable, probably trying to form the words to ask her not to tell anyone, she figured. “I won’t tell,” she said, and relief spread through his face like wildfire.
“Thanks Sakura-chan! I’m gonna get my Ramen now. See you later!” And with that, the orange ninja was going, speeding away in pursuit of his beloved noodles. So predictable. She sighed and again her fingers strayed to her side, fingering the white patch. That’s right. She got up off the fallen tree trunk that she had been sitting on, brushed small pieces of bark off her rear end, and made an attempt at smoothing her hair and wondering how she looked. Deciding to wing it, she left, her heart in her throat and butterflies in her stomach.
She found him where she thought he’d be - watching the sun set on the top of a grassy hill, beneath a cherry tree just starting to blossom. She paused, footsteps stalling, as she fought for courage, staring at the Uchiha symbol on the back of his black shirt. He seemed not to have noticed her yet, but she knew him better. He’d heard her coming a long way off and now he sent a cool look over his shoulder at the jittery kunoichi and said in the same monotone voice he always used, so calm and low: “Are you just going to stand there like an idiot, or do you have something to say?”
Be strong, Sakura, she told herself. Gathering her courage, clutching the white envelope to her chest, she offered him a quavery smile which he did not return. His eyebrows twitched ever so slightly, a tiny glimmer of a frown, and she forced her feet to move, to stand next to the Uchiha leaning back on his hands, sitting in the grass. “I - I wanted to give this to you, Sasuke-kun,” she said, hoping the trembling was only in her mind, and held it out, her hand shaking only slightly. His black eyes viewed it critically before he slowly reached out and tugged it from her tight, sweaty grip. She waited, hands clasped tightly in front of her, as he read it, in complete silence, nothing registering on his face at all. No emotion. When he finished he folded it back up and handed it back to her, still with nothing on his face, as though he’d just read something completely boring and irrelevant to anything he cared about. She bit her lip, waiting and silently begging, screaming for him to say something. Anything. Just something. He didn’t for almost a full minute, although to her it seemed like years, before he spoke, staring out at the expanse of exploding colors staining the horizon. “I’m sorry, Sakura.” It seemed her heart broke in that minute, but apparently it hadn’t been completely torn into pieces as he continued to speak, still not looking at her. “I’m sorry I have to tell you this, but I don’t like you. I never will. And even if, by some remote chance, I did like you, I still wouldn’t date you.” Finally, finally, he glanced at her and saw her grief-striken expression. “It’s not because of you. It’s nothing you did. But right now, I have time only for training. I can’t afford to waste my time dating someone. I need to become stronger so I can kill my brother.”
For the first time, she heard a note of emotion in his voice, a flicker in his eyes, as he spoke of his brother. Anger. Deeply suppressed anger, because it was only the ghost of what would have been full-blown rage. Itachi Uchiha domineered this boy’s life, giving him nothing to live for but the prospect of death and vengence. What a meaningless existence. Slowly tears gathered in her shimmering aqua eyes and spilled silently down flushed cheekbones. She’d never felt so embarrassed, so disappointed, in her life. So predictable. Both of her teammates were so predictable, and yet she never gave up hoping that one day this emotionless shadow of a human being would change, become more like Naruto perhaps, happy and laughing. Cease to be a robotic kid with only one thing keeping him alive, one thing that would probably kill him.
Realizing that she was crying, that she was standing there, indeed, like an idiot, she rubbed a hand over her face and pasted a big, fake smile on her face as she tried to hide her broken heart. “That’s okay, Sasuke-kun. I understand.” She could tell from the intensity underlying the blankness in his dark eyes that he knew perfectly well she didn’t understand, and how much he’d hurt him. But he wasn’t going to give in, feel sorry for her, and retract his refusal, like so many of the scatter-brained fangirls before her had hoped. She wasn’t going to be one of them; she was going to accept her refusal gracefully and like a mature young adult. Again, she smiled at him, and turned away, making herself walk slow and steadily, feeling his eyes bore into her back as she longed to break into a run, go somewhere private, and scream until she couldn’t anymore.
“I really am sorry, Sakura,” the Uchiha muttered in a low voice, and the pink-haired girl didn’t hear him, like he’d intended for her not to. He could tell from her unsteady gait that she was trying very, very hard not to lose control and a frown marred his pale face, which no one saw. He’d since stopped caring who he hurt after he had turned down dozens of his followers, but honestly he hadn’t expected her to ask him to date her. He thought she placed herself above them and, even if she did feel attracted to him, ignored the feelings. Some people, he reasoned as he watched her back disappear around the corner, were simply not predictable.
Sakura broke into a run as soon as she was sure Sasuke couldn’t see her anymore, and bit back a long sob as she skidded to a halt in front of the tree trunk she’d been sitting on only a few minutes ago. Before her heart was thrown on the floor, stomped on, set afire, and left to rot. She sank to her knees, burying her face in her hands and let out a long, keening sob she hoped no one else heard, and was grateful Naruto was preoccupied with his Ramen. For the time being, at least.
The sun had long since gone down when she finally raised her head, convinced she had just cried out all of the water in her body. She felt exhausted and sore and, as she moved her muscles, standing, they protested and cracked. She half-heartedly rubbed at her face and hoped it wasn’t too red. She walked into Konoha slowly, head down, as she tried not to think about Sasuke - tried not to think at all.
“Sakura!” She stopped herself from groaning as Naruto appeared before her, happy as ever - even more so since he’d had his Ramen. She noted with a sinking heart that Ino followed behind, detatched and much more mature-looking. The blonde kunoichi stared curiously at her friend as Naruto prattled, wondering why Sakura looked so depressed. Had she been crying? She didn’t say anything, though, as Naruto begged her to get some more Ramen with him, as she’d promised. She hadn’t said a word to the ecstatic ramen lover, which was curious, because Sakura never passed up a chance to tell Naruto to shut up or what an idiot he was. She was kind of acting like Sasuke, silent and moping.
On a whim she decided to save her friend and linked her arm with the pink-haired girl, saying as cheerfully as she could, “Sorry, Naruto, Sakura and I have things to discuss. Maybe later she’ll have some Ramen.” Sakura gave no reaction, no indication she’d heard Ino, but Naruto let out a long groan of disappointment.
“But, Ino-chan,” he whined cutely, “She promised!”
“Later, Naruto,” Ino said to the ninja, who brightened up, if only a little. She unceremoniously dragged her friend away. “So,” she demanded of the unresponsive kunoichi, “What’s up with you? You look like your mom just died or something.”
Sakura shrugged. “I have to go, Ino,” she muttered, wiggling her arm out of Ino’s. Ino wasn’t about to give up that easily.
“What happened to you, Sakura?” her friend asked, really concerned now, but Sakura only shook her head and ran, so quickly she was gone before Ino even had a chance to call her back. Baffled, the blonde shook her head, her bangs swaying as her concerned blue eyes worriedly stared at where Sakura had disappeared.
Sakura slowly, steadily walked toward home. Her bottom lip trembled as she fought for her composure. I can’t believe I was so stupid, she thought, angrily. Sasuke-kun, falling for a girl like me? What was I thinking? There’s no way someone like him, with a prestigious name and a good reputation as a ninja to go with it would ever consider such a common, plain girl like me. I haven’t even done anything important or learned any new jutsu’s, like Sasuke-kun’s Chidori or Naruto’s replications of himself! She wasn’t aware that, as she walked, an angry scowl marred her pretty face and she was glaring out at nothing, fairly stomping her way home with fists so tightly clenched her nails dug painfully into her skin. I was so arrogant to believe that I could ever, ever have a chance with someone like Sasuke....
“Sakura, dear, you missed dinner,” her mother said as she entered her home. She ignored her mother, going to her room without a word and collapsing on her bed. Oddly enough, as she stared at her white ceiling, something Ino had said to her surfaced in her mind.
Ino came up behind Sakura, who was watching Sasuke with a strange look on her face, but one the blonde kunoichi identified immediately. Sidling up to her friend, she said smugly, “What makes you think a lowlife like you can have someone like Sasuke-kun?”
Startled, Sakura glanced at her and took her time answering, obviously cultivating an insult in her head. “What makes you think you’re so better than me, Ino, that Sasuke would like you more than me?”
Ino smirked. “You’re on his team, and yet he ignores you. He speaks more to Naruto than he does to you!”
“What does it matter to you, Ino?” Sakura snapped. “At least he speaks to me at all!”
Ino’s gaze shifted to where Naruto, side-by-side of Sasuke, was throwing his shurikan. “Naruto likes you, you know,” she said in a voice that conveyed her confidence. “Why don’t you give up on Sasuke-kun and date Naruto? He’s madly in love with you. Figures, since he’s got a brain the size of a pea in that head. Only someone that stupid would like someone like you, Sakura.”
“Mind your own damn business, Ino!” Sakura yelled, her hand balling tightly in a fist and made a move as if to strike the blonde. Laughing, Ino danced backwards and she smirked again at the flustered pink-haired kunoichi.
“Sasuke-kun is my business,” she said. “Don’t forget that, Sakura. Only someone like me - brains, beauty, talent - will ever be good enough for an Uchiha. Especially Sasuke.”
Sakura opened her mouth to scream something - anything, profanities, just to get her anger out - but Ino was gone, her laugh still riding on the wind, her voice still tickling Sakura’s ears. Even though the exchange had been noisy and beligerent, drawing even the attention of Naruto, Sasuke ignored them, didn’t even glance at them. He doesn’t care, Sakura realized, watching the raven-haired Uchiha train. He knows we’re talking about him and he just doesn’t care.
But now, as she thought over that, what Ino had said about Naruto came back up. Naruto liked her; of course she knew it, the boy was never secretive about it anyway - Naruto couldn’t keep a secret if his life depended on it - but date him? Instead of Sasuke? Even if Sasuke had broken her heart?
She thought about the blonde locked ninja, who’d grown quite a bit that summer, even gotten a bit taller lately. His shoulders were broadening, his voice was cracking, he was becoming more and more of the teenager he was. Sasuke-kun, of course, had seemed to have gotten over the childish stage even as a child. He never even had a childhood, Sakura thought. Well, neither did Naruto, but the two were so different from each other, yet the same. She scowled. Date Naruto? He’d probably take her to a Ramen dinner, eat ten bowls in the time she could eat one, all the while talking about how good it was and how he loved it and how happy he was to be going out with her -
And Sasuke-kun would still be quiet, refusing any physical or emotional contact whatsoever, with only one goal in mind that controlled his destiny: Kill his brother. Kill Itachi Uchiha and avenge his family. And what, Sakura wondered, if he should succeed, what would happen to him then? He had spent all his life just to get to that point. What if he got there and had no idea what to do then? Suddenly she groaned and smacked her forehead. “Stop,” she said aloud. “Stop thinking about him!”
Determined not to think about him, not to think about anything at all because thinking, however random, would inevitably lead back to him, she eventually fell asleep, tired from the crying and trying to escape everyone. Tired of everything. Tired of Sasuke. She slept soundly, dreamlessly, but woke up early in the morning, even before the sun had come up. She stared in the darkness, into nothing, then finally sighed and got up. Ugh. She’d slept in her clothes. She undressed in the darkness and felt along to her closet, finding a new, fresh uniform and slipping it on, shivering slightly, and snuck out of the house.
Konoha’s streets were deserted, predictably. She wandered aimlessly but not randomly, her mind elsewhere but her feet leading exactly to where she didn’t want to go. The Uchiha district was silent, dark, as it had been in the years since the influencial and wealthy family’s extermination. Now, a boy slumbered and lived in the mansion alone, devoid of family or of company. Sasuke-kun didn’t entertain the idea of inviting guests over lightly, and no one had seen the inside of the Uchiha mansion since before the murders. She stared silently at the massive expanse of housing and thought, what a waste. Only one kid living in that huge space, probably feeling so alone. Why doesn’t he move into an apartment, or maybe with Naruto? He likes being alone, though, her mind argued; even though he would constantly be surrounded by memories and the terrible deed his brother had done, the boy still lived there, just to be left alone. Oh, Sasuke, she thought, her heart wrenching for him.
Wait. Feeling sorry for him was exactly what had gotten her into this mess. She wanted to help the boy, she wanted to make him laugh like Naruto and have a family like her, and she had believed that by loving him she could give him just that. Now she knew that not even she could save him from the inevitable fate that awaited him. He would simply continue to shy away from human contact, both emotional and physical, until he couldn’t stand the lonliness anymore and...
She grit her teeth. Sure, Sasuke-kun had occupied her thoughts a lot, but now it was almost like she was obsessing over him. Like a stalker, or something. She groaned and said aloud to herself: “You’re an idiot! Shut up. Just shut up, forget him! There are better people than him out here, you know!”
Great, she thought. Now I’m talking to myself.
In the corner of her eye, a shadow flashed and she snapped to attention. “Sasuke-kun?” she said, uncertainly. “Is that you?”
Silence was her only answer. Shivering, she wrapped her arms around herself, scolding herself. Now she was seeing things, too. But she’d been almost certain something moved; she looked up toward the dark, silent Uchiha mansion, and thought, what the hell, why not?
She entered the Uchiha mansion knowing full well she would never get within a mile of Sasuke without him noticing. But she still opened the great oak door quietly, shyly, poking her head into the great, empty hall that greeted her. She opened it more and stepped inside. The door creaked loudly as she closed it and she winced. “Sasuke-kun?” she called softly. “Are you awake?” The complete silence in the house was unnerving her and she stepped quickly onto a staircase in front of her, spiraling upwards. It opened into a long hall, dotted with doors. The last one on the left was the only one partially opened and that was the one she walked to.
She could see immediately that it was a bedroom, and that it had been used recently. A giant canopy bed, recently slept in, was in the middle. Sasuke-kun’s room, she realized, noting several of his uniforms, marked with the Uchiha symbol. It was empty. She turned to leave, and it was then she saw the note, eerily white in the surrounding darkness, tacked to the wall with a kunai. Curious, she pulled it down and squinted at the small, neat handwriting.
Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, it read,
I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but I’m tired of waiting. I believe that I am strong enough to seek vengence for my family. I can’t guarantee I’ll come back alive but I promise I will try my hardest to succeed and return. Don’t follow me, because nothing you say or do will entice me to return before I fulfill my mission. You will always be in my thoughts.
Sasuke Uchiha
She let the note flutter from her nerveless fingers silently and didn’t know she was crying until the hot, salty tears slid down her cheek and splashed onto her hand. “Sasuke-kun,” she whispered in the darkness, as the contents in the note finally registered in her mind and she realized exactly what they meant. Sasuke was gone. He wasn’t coming back until he killed Itachi, and if the rumors about the S-ranked criminal were true, she would never see her Sasuke-kun alive again. Her hand was trembling madly. Her face crumpled as she gave into the pain tearing her heart in to, and a long, keening howl broke the night stillness that she didn’t know was hers until it left her throat raw and hurting: ”Sasuke-kun!!!”
[Reviews - 8]Chapter or Story
Table of Contents
- Text Size +
Chapter notes: Read, review, and enjoy!!!! SBP
If you review more, maybe I'll add more... ^^' (Yes, I know, I'm bribing you, but maybe it'll work, eh?)