“NOT ANOTHER ONE!!” The shouts and cries of fifteen teens filled the small office of the Hokage. Tsunade glared and held her head in pain.
“WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP!?!?” the room quieted down, though a few sobs were heard, “Yes, another one. I have found in the Hokage’s files that you all performed some sort of concert to blow off stem. Well now I am holding another one. Of course you can’t use the same songs. You guys need to relax.”
More sobs were heard. Ino and Sakura were crying in each others arms. The Quiet and Cold club, featuring, Neji, Sasuke, and Gaara, all in unison glared at Tsunade and then the crying girls, then at each other. Tenten and Hinata tried to comfort the crying girls. Naruto looked like he was trying to think.
“But Baa-chan! I just got that bastard Sasuke back from being molested by Orochimaru!” At this Neji and Gaara smirked and Sasuke pouted, “Now you are saying I have to sing again!?!? I don’t have time for this!” Naruto shouted, waving his hands around a bit wildly.
“Shut up, brat! You’re doing it. Sasuke’s doing it. You are all doing it! Deal with it! You have till tomorrow night.”
“What?!? Last time at least we had a week!” Naruto pointed out, once again shouting.
“To bad.”
“How Youthful! This should be great fun! If I do not find a song by tomorrow night I will run around Kohana two-thousand times!” Rock Lee shouted, stabbing the air with his finger. Tenten and Neji dragged him out of the office, stopping him from embarrassing himself and them any further.
“All of you out!” Tsunade commanded and waved the rest of them out, slamming the door on their butts. Then she turned to the piles of paperwork on her desk.
“I deserve a vacation more than those brats.” She mumbled then sat down and pulled out a hidden sake bottle, “Oh sweet vacation!” She cried out and started to drink.
Everyone else once again found and practiced their new songs. The night came all too quickly and everyone stood behind the red curtain. Iruka stepped onto the stage.
“Hello everyone. Good evening and welcome to the second annual Singing of the Ninjas! Everyone from those past years is back with a new song! Our old judges are back as well. Please give a good round of applause to Kakashi, our own Great Copy Ninja!”
Everyone in the crowd clapped, the spotlight swiveled to Kakashi’s seat, only to see him still reading his little orange porn book. He looked up, his one eye blinking in the sudden light.
“Oh yes, sorry my little dolphin, I was just reading about the most interesting technique that I thought we could try out tonight.” He drawled, his one visible eye crinkling up to show he was smiling.
Iruka’s face turned tomato read and he stepped off the stage for a minute signaling to the light guy to move the light away from Kakashi. It went pitch black. In less then five minutes and after many, many shouts of pain from Kakashi. Iruka stepped back up to the stage, smiling, brushing a stray hair from his eyes.
“Well our other judge is Jiraiya, as you know one of the great legendary Sannin! Please welcome him with a round of applause!” Iruka announced, the spotlight moving past the very beat up Kakashi, with small, shredded pieces of orange surrounding him to a very empty seat.
“Jiraiya?” Iruka called from the stage, putting a hand to his eyes as he looked over the crowd looking for the Sage. Finally he thought he saw him and pointed for the spotlight guy to point the light in that direction. The guy did as he was told and everyone saw a very Pervy Sage talking to two way younger ladies.
“Yes, in fact I am judging tonight. But you know I can see by you two that I am judging the wrong thing. What are you both D-cups?” Two stinging slaps were issued to him. Iruka sighed, mumbling something about only finding perverts where ever he went and dragged Jiraiya to his seat at the judges table.
“And me! We are the three judges. Now without further ado. First up Gaara, the Kazekage of the sand village, singing, I Hate Everyone! Please welcome him!” Iruka sat down next to Kakashi, sighing as he saw Kakashi and Jiraiya discussing the newest edition of Icha Icha Paradise.
Gaara stepped onto the stage wearing a dark crimson tux with a loose black satin tie around his neck. He just couldn’t believe he was doing this again! How dare Tamari take his poor Sandy Bear captive!?! He sighed and took a deep breath, the music started from behind him.
Some stupid chick in the checkout line
Was paying for beer with nickels and dimes
And some old man who clipped coupons
Had argued whenever they wouldn't take one
All I wanted to was buy some cigarettes
But I couldn't take it anymore so I left
I hate everyone
I hate everyone
I hate everyone
I hate everyone
All the people on the street, I hate you all
And the people that I meet, I hate you all
And the people that I know, I hate you all
And the people that I don't, I hate you all
Oh, I hate you all
Some fucking asshole just cut me off
And gave me the finger when I fucking glared
Then he proceeded to put on the brakes
He slammed on the brakes, but I made a mistake
When I climbed out of my van he was waiting
But he was six three and two hundred pounds of Satan
I hate everyone
I hate everyone
I hate everyone
I hate everyone
All the people on the street, I hate you all
And the people that I meet, I hate you all
And the people that I know, I hate you all
And the people that I don't, I hate you all
Oh, I hate you all
I bet you think I'm kidding
But I promise you its true
I hate most everybody
But most of all I hate
Oh, I hate you
All the people on the street, I hate you all
And the people that I meet, I hate you all
And the people that I know, I hate you all
And the people that I don't, I hate you all
And the people in the east, I hate you all
And the people I hate least, I hate you all
And the people in the west, I hate you all
And the people I like best, I hate you all
Oh, I hate you all
“I really do hate you all.” He said and turned on his heel and walked out to find Temari and take his teddy back and get the hell out of this stupid tux!
Iruka got back on the stage, a bit flustered from having Kakashi trying to grope him on his way up.
“Well um great job, Gaara! Next up, Kiba singing, Animals! Give him some claps now!” Iruka then jumped off the stage, trying to avoid Kakashi hands.
Kiba jumped onto the stage, grinning like a fool, wearing a slightly ruffled and ripped, dusty grey suit, he grabbed the mic and grinned even wider showing off his pointed teeth.
I, I'm driving black on black
Just got my license back
I got this feeling in my veins this train is coming off the track
I'll ask, polite if the devil needs a ride
Because the angel on my right ain't hanging out with me tonight
I'm driving past your house, while you were sneaking out
I got the car door opened up so you can jump in on the run
Your mom, don't know that you were missing
She'd be pissed if she could see the parts of you that I've been kissing
Screamin'
No, we're never gonna quit
Ain't nothing wrong with it
Just acting like we're animals
No, no matter where we go
'Cause everybody knows
We're just a couple animals
So come on baby, get in
Get in, just get in
Check out the trouble we're in
You're, beside me on the seat
Got your hand between my knees
And you control how fast we go by just how hard you wanna squeeze
It's hard, to steer when you're breathing in my ear
But I got both hands on the wheel while you got both hands on my gears
By now, no doubt that we were heading south
I guess nobody ever taught her not to speak with a full mouth
'Cause this, was it, like flicking on a switch
It felt so good I almost drove into the ditch
I'm screamin'
No, we're never gonna quit
Ain't nothing wrong with it
Just acting like we're animals
No, no matter where we go
'Cause everybody knows
We're just a couple animals
So come on baby, get in
Get in, just get in
Look at the trouble we're in
We, were parked out by the tracks
We're sitting in the back
And we just started getting busy
When she whispered "what was that?"
The wind, I think 'cause no one else knows where we are
And that was when she started screamin'
"That's my dad outside the car!"
Oh please, the keys, they're not in the ignition
Must have wound up on the floor while
we were switching our positions
I guess, they knew that she was missing
As I tried to tell her dad it was her mouth that I was kissing
Screamin'
No, we're never gonna quit
nothing wrong with it
Just acting like we're animals
No, no matter where we go
'Cause everybody knows
We're just a couple animals
So come on baby, get in
We're just a couple animals
Get in, just get in
Ain't nothing wrong with it
Check out the trouble we're in
We're just a couple animals
Get in, just get in
Kiba finished, still grinning. He wiped his forehead and bowed, before disappearing behind the stage, to first, tear off his suit and then find Hinata.
Iruka stepped back on stage, his cloths slightly ruffled up, his face red, “Uh, great job, Kiba. Up next Shino, singing Bumble Bee. Enjoy!” Iruka said slightly rushed and then almost ran down back to Kakashi, who was giggling and grinning.
Shino stepped out from behind the curtain; he pushed his shades up from his nose. He wore a stiff looking steel grey tux; with a large collar that still hide half of his face. He opened he closed fist, releasing a small bumble bee, and then he started to sing.
Sweet little bumble bee
I know what you want from me
Dub-di-dub-i duh-dah-dah
Dub-di-dub-i duh-dah-dah
Sweet little bumble bee
More than just a fantasy
My heart skips a beat
When you walk in the room
I go boom boom boom
You go zoom zoom zoom
You're my playboy, playtoy, lover, my friend
I wanna be with you until the end
I'd give my heart and my soul to you
To make you see it's true
I'm so confused baby can't you see
Please come rescue me
I start to cry
When you walk out that door
You go bye bye bye
I go why why why
I'm so lonely and only waiting for you
O come back and tell me: I love you
Shino finished and the bumble bee seemed to buzz in excitement, it landed on his nose and they both walked back behind the curtain, staring at each other. A few stray claps were heard from the crowd.
Iruka rushed onto the stage, his once nice suit slightly torn, showing tan skin, some on the front row thought they saw marks on his neck.
“Umm yes, good job Shino. Up next, Temari singing, Sorrow. Enjoy!” Iruka then rushed off as soon as he came on, though he seemed to have a strange problem with walking.
Temari stepped out onto the stage, wearing a short, silk, sand colored, skirt that came just a little above her knees and a dark violet, short sleeved, shirt, with just a bit of white lace on the sides. She took the mic in her hand and started to sing as the music was cued.
Sometimes life seems too quiet
Into paralyzing silence
Like the moonless dark
Meant to make me strong
Familiar breath of my old lies
Changed the color in my eyes
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
Left alone with only reflections of the memory
To face the ugly girl that's smothering me
Sitting closer than my pain
He knew each tear before it came
Soon He will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
Sorrow last through this night
I'll take this piece of You
And hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As You flew right through me
And we kiss each other one more time
And sing this lie that's halfway mine
The sword is slicing through the question
So I won't be fooled by his angel light
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
And up into the stars
Joy will come
She sang the last line and went off to see if she could find Shikamaru. The crowd burst into applauds and Iruka once again rushed onto stage, even more disheveled then before.
“Good Temari. Up next Shikamaru singing, Girls Don’t Like Boys. Enjoy.” Iruka said this all in one ragged breath, and then practically flew down from the stage.
Shikamaru stumbled onto the stage dressed in dark brown suit that kind of looked like the color of mud. He sighed and mumbled, “Troublesome.” Before cueing the music and starting to sing.
Educated
With money
He's well dressed
Not funny
And not much to say in
Most conversations
But he'll put the bill in
All situations
Cause he pays for everything
Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny
Paper
Or plastic
Don't matter
She'll have it
Vacations
And shopping sprees
These are a few
Of her favorite things
She'll get what she wants
If she's willing to please
His type of girl
Always comes with a fee
Hey, now, there's nothing for free
Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny
And these girls like these boys like these boys like these girls
The girls with the bodies like boys with Ferraris
Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
Let's go!
Eh, eh!
Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny
And these girls like these boys like these boys like these girls
The girls with the bodies like boys with Ferraris
Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
All of these boys, yeah and all of these girls
Losing their souls in a material world
All of these boys, yeah and all of these girls
Losing their souls in a material world
All of these boys, yeah and all of these girls
Losing their souls in a material world
All of these boys, yeah and all of these girls
Losing their souls in a material world
Shikamaru finished, did a quick bow then went off to find Temari. Everyone looked at the empty stage for a while. Whispering started, asking each other where Iruka was. Then Kakashi stepped onto the stage.
“Ah so sorry about that. My little dolphin-chan is a bit preoccupied and will be for the rest of the show so we will be having Shikamaru do this job instead.” Kakashi said and then stepped off the stage, disappearing in a poof holding a blushing red and half naked Iruka in his arms bridal style.
Shikamaru heard his name and was dragged out by Ino, “What a drag.”
“Well Chouji is up next. He is singing Butterfly. Enjoy or something.” Shikamaru then went behind the curtain, sighing.
Chouji came out in a dark green suit that hung around his body in a baggy fashion. He was sad that Ino had once again stolen his chips. He sighed and cued the music and started to sing.
When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to over whelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Bow I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands
And watch you rise
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
I can't pretend these tears
Aren't overflowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun fly...to the sun
If you should return to me I will know you're mine
We truly were meant to be spread your wings and fly
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
Chouji finished and went off in search of Ino and his chip bag. Shikamaru was pushed out from behind the curtain.
“Yeah. Great job Chouji. Whatever. Next up is Sakura. She is singing Behind These Hazel Eyes. Yay her. Troublesome.” Shikamaru got off the stage and Sakura came right on after him.
She wore a pink, sparkling dress that reached the floor and made a small pink pool around her feet. The dress had small red beads running up and down the sides and an open back with shoulder straps. She looked sort of sad as if remembering a bad memory.
“Before I start, I would like to dedicate this song to a friend and old crush of mine who made the wrong choice and left all of us sad and confused. It is good to see you back, Sasuke.” She then cued the music and started to sing.
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
She finished the song and wiped a stray tear and went behind stage. Shikamaru came back on looking very tired and bored, with dropping brown eyes.
“Yeah well that was Sakura. Up next Tenten singing, I’m Just a Girl which she is. Enjoy.” Shikamaru went off the stage and Tenten came on.
She was dressed in a long emerald dress that reached the ground. It had long cream colored sleeves that covered her arms and hooped around her hands so that it looked like she had cream wings. Her tight buns had green ribbons tied around them.
She cued the music with another grand gesture of her sleeves, looking as if she were about to fly away. She then started to sing.
Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I'm exposed
And it's no big surprise
Don't you think I know
Exactly where I stand
This world is forcing me
To hold your hand
'Cause I'm just a girl, little 'ol me
Don't let me out of your sight
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don't let me have any rights
Oh...I've had it up to here!
The moment that I step outside
So many reasons
For me to run and hide
I can't do the little things I hold so dear
'Cause it's all those little things
That I fear
'Cause I'm just a girl I'd rather not be
'Cause they won't let me drive
Late at night I'm just a girl,
Guess I'm some kind of freak
'Cause they all sit and stare
With their eyes
I'm just a girl,
Take a good look at me
Just your typical prototype
Oh...I've had it up to here!
Oh...am I making myself clear?
I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl in the world...
That's all that you'll let me be!
I'm just a girl, living in captivity
Your rule of thumb
Makes me worry some
I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?
What I've succumbed to Is making me numb
I'm just a girl, my apologies
What I've become is so burdensome
I'm just a girl, lucky me
Twiddle-dum there's no comparison
Oh...I've had it up to!
Oh...I've had it up to!!
Oh...I've had it up to here!!!
Tenten finished and giving one more flourish of her fly-away sleeves she disappeared behind the curtain.
“Yeah so that was Tenten. Weird sleeves. Next up Ino singing, When It Rains, I Pour. Didn’t know you could drink Ino. Enjoy.” Shikamaru said and was then dragged out by an angry Ino.
Ino came back onto the stage, smiling. Her blonde hair was put into its usual ponytail/bun thing, but had blue netting with pearl beads over it. She wore a knee length, sleeveless, sky blue dress, with blue heels and fingerless white gloves with a tiny blue flower on the hands. She cued the music and started to sing.
When it rains I pour a couple more rounds
Till the hurtin' and the heartache start to drown
I turn out the light I turn up Dwight
And I lock my door when it rains
When it rains I pour
When life ain't going my way
And I can't take one more day of gray
Hey hey it's ok
I don't need a dose of Dr.Phil
I don't need your make it all better pill
When I'm low
Don't you know don't you know
When it rains I pour a couple more rounds
Till the hurtin' and the heartache start to drown
I turn out the light I turn up Dwight
And I lock my door when it rains
When it rains I pour
I don't have to have a girls night out
Or run around with a rowdy crowd to get down
Whiskey bent and hell bound
When I feel like I ain't got a friend
I just call on my old buddy Sakura again
And again I like her
When it rains I pour a couple more rounds
Till the hurtin' and the heartache start to drown
I turn out the light I turn up Dwight
And I lock my door when it rains
When it rains I pour
Oh don't you know
When it rains
When it rains
I pour
Ino finished, bowed, and disappeared behind the curtain. Shikamaru came back on, sighing, and looking at the list of names.
“Way too many left. Anyway that was Ino. She drinks. Probably an angry drunk too. Next up Hinata singing, A Thousand Miles. Enjoy.” Shikamaru went back behind the curtain.
Hinata came out from behind the same curtain; she looked beautiful in a pure, pearl, floor length dress. It had swirls of flowers and birds all swaying together in the seams of the dress. Her now long silkily dark hair was left down with a white crystal comb placed gently in the dark locks. She looked up with those pale violet eyes and cued the music and started to sing.
Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd
And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me
'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories
'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight
And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't....
Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd
And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight
Hinata finished with a last soft note, she was about to go behind the curtain when Kiba came out, still some how in his slightly dirty tux, which looked very dirty next to Hinata’s nearly glowing white dress. He kissed her gently and picked her up bridal style taking her behind the curtain.
The crowd all went “Aww….” Then wet back to clapping like they were supposed to. Shikamaru came out looking partially disgusted.
“Shouldn’t they save that for the honeymoon? Anyway that was Hinata and kind of Kiba. Next up Kankurou singing, Puppet Master. Figures. Enjoy.” Shikamaru once again left the stage and Kankurou came on wearing a black suit and tie with his ruffled brown hair actually showing. He cued the music and started to sing.
Somewhere between heaven and earth
That is where you will find real freedom
We've been waiting for so long For this freedom,
When other freedom fighters
Puppet master
Marching soldier
Fought of the rights of the people,
You fought for the right to
Abuse people
That is why I call you...
Chorus
Puppet master
Marching soldier
I was a little boy
When it happened
But I can still hear
Those killing machines
Roaring like thunder
Roaring like hungry lions
And they don't only hurt us
Physically
And they don't only hurt us
Politically
But they hurt us mentally.
Kankurou finished, bowed and disappeared behind the curtain. Shikamaru came back out.
“Yeah well that was short at least. Next up a duet featuring the two biggest freaks in Kohana, yep Gai and Rock Lee singing, oh god, If You Were Gay. Well this should be interesting.”
With that Shikamaru got off of the stage and Rock Lee and Gai came on both wearing matching eye burning bright green suits that clung to their bodies not in a normal suit way. They both wore green top hats over their black bowl hair. They gave each other a wink, sparkling smile, and a thumbs up before cueing the music.
ROCK LEE-
Aah, an afternoon alone with
Some time for training.
Push ups and sit ups.
No sensai to bother me.
How could it get any better than this?
GAI-
Oh,hi Rock Lee
ROCK LEE-
Hi Gai-sensai.
GAI-
Hey Lee, you'll never
Guess what happened to me on the subway this morning.
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me
LEE-
That's very interesting.
GAI-
He was being real friendly,
And I think he was coming on to me.
I think he might've thought I was gay!
LEE-
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care.
What did you have for lunch today?
GAI-
Oh, you don't have to get
All defensive about it, Lee...
LEE-
I'm NOT getting defensive!
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read.
GAI-
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Lee.
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.
LEE-
I don't want to talk about it,
Gai-sensai! This conversation is over!!!
GAI-
Yeah, but...
LEE-
OVER!!!
GAI-
Well, okay, but just so you know —
IF YOU WERE GAY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.
BECAUSE YOU SEE,
IF IT WERE ME,
I WOULD FEEL FREE
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
LEE-
Gai-sensai, please!
I am trying to train....
What?!
GAI-
IF YOU WERE QUEER
LEE-
Ah, Gai-sensai!
GAI-
I'D STILL BE HERE,
LEE-
Gai-sensai, I'm trying to read this book.
GAI-
YEAR AFTER YEAR
LEE-
Gai-sensai!
GAI-
BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR
TO ME,
LEE-
Argh!
GAI-
AND I KNOW THAT YOU
LEE-
What?
GAI-
WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,
LEE-
I would?
GAI-
IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,
I'M GAY!"
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
I'M HAPPY
JUST BEING WITH YOU.
LEE-
Bowl shaped hair, green spandex...
GAI-
SO WHAT SHOULD IT
MATTER TO ME
WHAT YOU DO IN BED
WITH GUYS?
LEE-
Gai-sensai, that's GROSS!
GAI-
No it's not!
IF YOU WERE GAY
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!
LEE-
I am not listening!
GAI-
AND HERE I'D STAY,
LEE-
La la la la la!
GAI-
BUT I WOULDN'T GET
IN YOUR WAY.
LEE-
Aaaah!
GAI-
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
TO ALWAYS BE
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,
YOU WERE JUST BORN
THAT WAY,
AND, AS THEY SAY,
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,
YOU'RE GAY!
LEE-
BUT I'M NOT GAY!
GAI-
If you were gay.
LEE-
Argh!
“Lee!”
“Gai-sensai!”
They both hugged, crying at how great they were. They even pulled out the sunset scene. Half the audience threw up. Shikamaru had to drag them off the stage. Shikamaru came back on the stage, mumbling something about creepy, spandex wearing freaks being too troublesome to bother with.
“Okay that was Gai and Rock Lee. Disgusting. Next up. Oh just great. Neji, Tenten, and once again Rock Lee, singing Dude Looks Like a Lady. Troublesome.” Shikamaru then stepped off the stage.
Tenten and Rock Lee stepped onto the stage, both smiling secret smiles. They cued the music and started to sing.
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
They both pulled open the curtain to reveal Neji, steaming mad, wearing his Hyuuga robes, which really did make him look like a lady with his long hair and all. Tenten and Rock Lee continued to sing about their teammate.
Cruised into a bar on the shore
Her picture graced the grime on the door
She a long lost love at first bite
Baby maybe you're wrong, but you know it's all right
That's right
That, that
That, that
Backstage we're having the time
Of our lives until somebody say
Forgive me if I seem out of line
Then she whipped out her gun
And tried to blow me away
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
So never judge a book by it's cover
Or who you're going to love by your lover
Love put me wise to her love in disguise
She had the body of a venues
Lord imagine my surprise
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
Baby let me follow you down
Let me take a peek dear
Baby let me follow you down
Do me, do me, do me all night
Baby let me follow you down
Turn the other cheek dear
Baby let me follow you down
Do me, do me, do me, do me
Ooh what a funky lady
She like it, like it, like it, like that,
Ooh he was a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
That, that Dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
That that ya ya ya yya ya yya ya chit chit yaow
That, that
That, that
Rock Lee and Tenten finished their song, Tenten giving the red faced and steaming Neji a quick kiss on the cheek to try to calm him down. Rock Lee was laughing and laughing. Shikamaru moved them all off the stage.
“Well yeah. That was Rock Lee, Tenten, and Neji, who does sort of look like a lady. Hm. Anyway up next is Naruto and Sakura singing, Love You. Oh joy.” Shikamaru left the stage and Naruto and Sakura stepped out.
Naruto wore a eye killing orange tux with a blue tie, his golden hair hung loosely over his sapphire eyes. Sakura wore the same as before. Naruto grinned at the audience.
“Before we start, I would just like to say this all a bit of joke since as many of you know I used to like dear Sakura-chan over here, who by the way looks stunning, so this is all just a bit of a joke.” Naruto grinned, rubbing the back of his head then cued the music and started to sing to Sakura, who just smiled pleasantly.
Dang the sun; dang this day
An' I'm just tryin' to stay outta your danged ol' way
To heck with this; to heck with us
An' shoot if I'll ever look back on where I've been
Shoot if I'll ever give away my heart again
Love you, love this town;
Love this mother-lovin' truck that keeps breakin' lovin' down
There's only one four-letter word that'll do:
Love you
Love your cat; love this house
Well, I can't believe myself that I'm lovin' gettin' out
Love talkin'; love fightin';
Thought of never seein' your lovin' face
There's some words that some words just have to replace
Love you; love this town;
[ these lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Yeah, I'm sick an' lovin' tired of all your lovin' around
There's only one four-letter word that'll do:
Love you
Love you; love this town;
Yeah, I'm sick an' lovin' tired of all your lovin' around
There's only one four-letter word that'll do:
Love you
Love you; love this town;
Love this mother-lovin' truck that keeps breakin' lovin' down
There's only one four-letter word that'll do:
Love you
Love you
Love you
Love you, honey
Naruto finished and bowed with Sakura. Naruto laughed and they both walked off stage. Shikamaru came back up.
“Yeah just a barrel of laughs. Really. Okay up next Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura singing, oh look another gay one. Just great. They are singing, I Wish I Were Queer So I Could Get Chicks. What a drag.” With that Shikamaru got off the stage.
Naruto and Sakura came back on stage with Sasuke who wore a handsome midnight blue tux with a loose silk black tie. They all cued the music and started.
If your ass is a Chinese restaurant Ill have the poo-poo platter
Sasuke said this, winking at Naruto. Sakura giggled and clung onto Sasuke. Naruto sighed.
My friend Sasuke Uchiha kissed me in home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I’m like you I like monster trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Naruto sang this, pointing to Sasuke and Sakura, Sakura clinging onto Sasuke’s arm like she used to do years ago and Sasuke winking and smiling at Naruto. The crowd irrupted into laughter.
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don’t dig
Chicks that don’t dig guys like me
See I’m not queer I’m too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe its a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause super model means voluptuous but is also is synonymous with super dumb
Sakura pretended to walk the catwalk as if she were a supermodel, winking at Sasuke who was staring at Naruto. The crowd was crying from laughter.
Ya see Id be a good listener so shed treat me like a sister and soon Id become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn’t be a week before I’m in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don’t dig
Chicks that don’t dig guys like me
See I’m not queer I’m too ugly
Doesn’t matter what I’m packin in my denim its whats in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by jimmy dean
See I’m not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I’m not princess Di and I don’t wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Naruto flipped Sasuke the bird and gave Sakura goo-goo eyes, which went unnoticed as she did the same to Sasuke who kept smirking at Naruto. They all looked like one silly love triangle and the most of the crowd were rolling all over the floor.
Anyway if I were gay I’d have to change my name to Sasuke or Rock Lee
Hang out with my mom’s hair stylist his name is Kip he’s got a lisp he talks like this
Naruto puckered his lips and talked weird for a moment, Sasuke tried to kiss his puckered his lips and Sakura hit Naruto over the head. Naruto sighed and kept singing.
And wear my mothers lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate depeche mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don’t dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don’t dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don’t dig
Chicks that don’t dig guys like me
See I’m not queer I’m too ugly
And I don’t shave my heiny
Don’t shave my heiny
See I’m not queer I’m too ugly
They all finished singing and the crowd clapped and clapped. As they got off the stage Sasuke gave Naruto a quick kiss on the cheek. Sakura giggled as Naruto’s face turned tomato red and they got off the stage.
Shikamaru came back on, “Damn what is with all these gay couples and the kissing? Troublesome. Next up we have Sasuke singing Savin’ Me. Great. Just great.” Shikamaru got off the stage and Sasuke came back on. He grabbed the mic.
“Before I start I just want to say I want to thank Naruto for dragging my ass back and for saving me.” He then cued the music and started to sing in a voice that sent all girls and boys swooning.
Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh, I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth savin' me
Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh, I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth savin' me
Hurry I'm callin'
And all I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh, I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth savin' me
Hurry I'm fallin'
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth savin' me.
Sasuke finished, bowed, and got off stage before the swarms of fangirls and boys attacked him. Shikamaru came back onto the stage.
“Finally our last song for the night, Naruto singing Far Away. Again finally. This night has been such a drag.” Shikamaru got off the stage throwing the sheet of paper over his shoulder.
Naruto came on, “Okay yes sorry, you guys must be tired of all the dedications, but this is the last one. I am dedicating this song to that bastard that went away and was gone for way too long. Thanks” He cued the music and started to sing.
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know
I love you
I loved you all along
I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of Hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up
'Cause you know, you know, you know
That I love you
I loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'd never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
So far away
So far away
far away for far too long
So far away
So far away
far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
I love you
I loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me, and never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
hold on to me never let me go
Keep breathing
hold on to me, never let me go
Keep breathing
hold on to me, never let me go
Keep breathing
hold on to me, never let me go
He finished, bowed and got off stage. Then everyone came back on stage and took one last bow. The crowd clapped and clapped and clapped, until they thought for sure there hands were going to fall off. Then the singers noticed that all of the judges were gone. Jiraiya seems to have gone off to “research” at the bath house and Kakashi and Iruka were still gone.
“NOT AGAIN! LET’S GET THEM!!!” They all went out to hunt the three judges once again. Some traditions never die.
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Chapter notes: Hi there! This is Violet having these ninjas singing some more songs. This is after the whole Sasuke Retrieval thing so Sasuke is back from Orochimaru though you really could have figured that out if you just read like the first couples lines. Oh well. Enjoy! With much love, A Vampires Butterfly ^.^