Everyone always thought she was carefree and lucky. They didn't look into how frustrating it was for her to watch her elder sister be humiliated by her family, her fater, and her own sister. No one understood. No one tried to understand. The stares she got were hard to decrypt. Adoration, expectation, pride, and sometimes, a hint of scorn or nothingness.
Everyday, they trained her, helped her get better and better. The sky's the limit, they had said. Go for it head on. Encouragements, compliments, advice. They were all given.
And they were all she wanted to hear.
She knew the only reason she got them was because she was heiress. Because her older sister was a reject - unwanted, unneeded. One slip, one teeny-tiny fault might be enough to send her down the same road as her sister. The road of rejection, pain, and unwantedness.
With the help of her father and many other elite ninja, she was able to understand many things, from stratagies, to chakra usage, to how techniques were done. From many of her family, she understood what life had in store for her. She understood a lot. Aside from one thing.
What she didn't understand, was how Hinata was able to smile after living through all that. How could she smile, and say, I wish you luck, Hanabi-sama.You could say Hanabi looked up to Hinata, but only just a little. She was too self-concious to be able to admit that, though. Would it be a fault, a mistake to look up to a 'reject?' Was she not allowed? And yet, she couldn't ask those questions - ones she longed to have answered. If she did, would her father disapprove? Would he disown her too? She supposed she could ask Hinata, but what would her reaction be? Would she laugh and cast her away? No. Hinata wouldn't do that. But then, what would she do?
Hanabi was scared - something she wouldn't to admit to anyone. Scared of being rejected. She suspected everyone was, but not for the same reasons. For her, one who had never experienced the feeling first-hand, it seemed a nightmare. She was repelled by the thought, yet drown in by the questions. And many questions there were, too. Did the feeling come in a rush? Or did it worsen over time? Were you able to get used to it? Did it nag at you every second of the day? She longed to go up to Hinato and talk about it, be able to understand.
But of course, she didn't. Too self-conscious of the expectations piling onto her shoulders. Although she did love the moments she was able to share together with her father, she wondered if she would be so worried all the time about the future if she was to talk to Hinata.
Carefree and lucky, yeah right.
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Chapter notes: DISCLAMER: Naruto does not belong to me, but to its creator, Kishimato-san.
And yeah. Another Hyuuga one-shot.
If you think about it, a tweaked replica of Hinata.