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Mad World by littlefoxhat

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Chapter notes: Ovbiously i don't own them so *disclaims*...uh what else?
I dreamt this plot line so i hope everyone likes it...i can't seen to get the freeking html to work (if someone knows how to end italic i'd love to know please ^_^) so *...* = thoughts etc
The day was breezy and chilled, but the blonde ANBU captain still felt the need to lay atop the roof of his small apartment building, staring at the grey sky. The wind ruffled his shock of unruly blonde hair; some stray golden locks swept his over his eyes. The day was peaceful (if not a little dreary), well, as peaceful as a day off for an ANBU captain could be. Naruto closed his eyes to the breeze, letting its sound envelop him fully.

As he started to drift, a shrill cry broke the silence overhead, the piercing wail of a hawk. Cerulean eyes snapped open, locating the source of the cry. A single, brown hawk wheeled impatiently overhead. Naruto groaned then shouted a curse loudly up at the bird, which just squawked down at him again. Any other bird would not have created such a stir. This bird, however, was not any other bird; it was entirely brown with a lone, white feather stuck oddly into its fanned tail-his personal summoning bird.

“Damnit.” Naruto swore to himself, eyeing the bird with distaste as he stretched, “On my day off too.”

Ever since he had become the captain of ANBU Squad 167, it was missions every day, and sometimes into the night. It wasn’t enough that it’d taken him three tries to make Jounin level, that prat in the missions office had to push all kinds of low-class ANBU missions on him, mostly escorts and guard duty. He wanted a challenge, to chase down some rogue ninja or an assassination mission! Something exciting. He stood then, not even bothering to go change into his uniform, and vanished in a puff of smoke and a small pop.

He appeared again at the front door of the Hokage tower. He waved cheerily at Izumo and Kotetsu, lugging books and papers as usual, and they nodded and tried to smile through the strain of 60 pounds of books each. The blonde bounded up the stairs opening the double doors with gusto. In the front office, he found Sakura busying herself with the paperwork Tsunade often shirked onto her apprentice.

“Oi, Sakura-chan!” Naruto smiled at his pink-haired former teammate.

The young woman jolted upright, looking startled, “Ah! N-Naruto, uh…yes, yes hello.” She looked hurriedly down at her papers again, never meeting his gaze.

“Anou…Sakura, what’s the matter?”

“What? Oh, uh…nothing! N-nothing’s the matter what-so-ever.” The kunoichi stammered again, still not meeting his eyes. “What are you standing here for anyway? Tsunade-sama is waiting for you. Get going! Go, GO!!” She shooed him out of the room fiercely.

He turned away slowly, confusion masking his features. *‘Sakura sure is acting weirder than usual, I didn’t even get a hug this time,'* Naruto lamented silently as he climbed the stairs to the Hokage’s office. He neared the heavy wooden door, extending a charka singed hand toward the gold knob. Before he could turn the knob, the door flew open; an over-excited Shizune exploding out of it, the paper mountain in her arms toppling over and fluttering to the ground.

Naruto picked himself up off the carpet gingerly, “Sh…Shizune-nee-chan! What’s the big hurry? Did Tsunade-baba yell at you, is she drunk again?” The fox-like grin plastered on his face was pure joy and mirth.

Shizune laughed then; a slow, mechanical chuckle through a distraught expression, “Naruto-kun, it’s nothing like that.” Like Sakura, she did not look him in the face, but instead scurried about the hallway picking up papers. “You can go in to see Tsunade-sama, she’s waiting for you.”

“Let me help you Nee-chan, you looked flustered.” Naruto bent down to pick up an invoice by his foot.

“NO!! Uh, no, that won’t be necessary Naruto-kun”

“Alright, um…see you later Nee-chan.” The blonde shinobi wore a hurt look, mixed with confusion.

He stepped around the rattled secretary and her slowly rebuilding paper mountain. *‘What is with everyone today?'* he mused to himself. He rounded the corner slowly and walked into the office.

When he spotted the blonde Hokage sitting at her desk, his mouth flew into a state of rapid-fire speech, “Tsunade-baba, you have no idea how weird everyone has been acting towards me today! It’s not like they usually act, like when they’re mean to…” his words trailed off when he noticed the two most familiar faces (well face-and-a-half) in his life.

Iruka and Kakashi stood to the left of the Hokage’s desk, Iruka smiled at him and Naruto erupted into joyous glee, “IRUKA-SENSEI! KAKASHI-SENSEI! You’re back from the Glacier Country! OH FINALLY!” he jumped onto Iruka happily.

The blonde crushed the older man to him in a tight hug, dancing the brunette around in a small circle and whooping with joy. Iruka struggled feebly, but even at eighteen Naruto towered over him and was easily stronger than the chuunin.

“Naruto-kun…I’m happy to see you too.” Iruka spoke softly, an almost sad tone coating his words.

“What? Not you too, what’s wrong with everyone today?” Naruto looked pleadingly at Kakashi, and under the mask, he saw the pale face was distraught and sad.

“Naruto,” Tsunade spoke softly-though her voice was stern, “I need to talk to you, it is a matter of utmost importance.”

Naruto’s heart fell into his stomach, was this it? Had they found out? He felt himself go pale as he settled himself in the chair in front of Tsunade’s desk. In the back of his mind, memories of his secret meetings flashed through his consciousness. When he was sixteen, he had located Sasuke in the Sound Village. Naruto had almost been successful in killing the Uchiha, but he hadn’t been able to finish his best friend off. He’d broken down, the pent up emotion far too much for him to bear. At his moment of weakness and tears, Sasuke could have killed him. Instead the two found themselves locked in a desperate kiss. From that time, the two had used to cover of Naruto’s frequent ANBU missions to rendezvous and carry out their love affair.

Naruto swallowed hard, maybe it wasn’t as bad as he suspected, “So…uh, this matter of utmost importance.” His heart felt like it would burst through his chest.

Tsunade steepled her fingertips pensively, “Last week, it was brought to my attention that you have knowledge of the whereabouts of a certain rogue ninja by the name of Uchiha Sasuke.”

No, it wasn’t as bad as Naruto had thought; it was one-hundred-thousand times worse than that. He saw his heart jump from his chest is a barrage of blood and bone and land-still beating-on top of the Hokage’s desk. His pulse pounded in his ears and he found it hard to breathe.

“W-who told you…?” Was all he could manage, his voice had deserted him.

“One of our clients from your last mission to the Earth Country saw the two of you in the forest. We know everything.” Tsunade’s lips were a hard line, her brow furrowed severely as she spoke. “Naruto, how could you not tell us? He is a traitor to this village. To our cause. To you.”

“THAT’S NOT TRUE!!” Naruto’s voice erupted from his throat; he jumped up from his chair and slammed the desk, making the wood protest weakly.

Tears sprang from his eyes then and he lowered himself into the chair once more, “He’s…he’s not…just confused…he’s not.” The blonde’s voice was weak and quiet. Iruka placed a hesitant hand on his shaking shoulder, his chocolate eyes worried and morose.

The Hokage looked sympathetically toward the sputtering ninja seated before her, *‘He’s just a kid still. But is has to be done, there is no one else.’* Her voice turned stern again, and she addressed him formally, “Uzumaki Naruto, to avoid the charges of treason and the aid of a wanted criminal, you have the once choice to accept this mission. Kill Uchiha Sasuke.”

Naruto went pale.

Iruka knelt and spoke softly in his ear, “Naruto…The penalty for those charges is death. Please, accept the mission. Please.”

Bleary ocean eyes turned toward the scarred teacher, “But…I love him.”

Kakashi’s voice, soft and urgent, sounded near his right ear, “It’s for the best. We’d-,” the teacher’s voice broke, “We’d rather it was him than you.”

“So? Which do you accept? The charges or the mission?” Tsunade’s voice was hard and emotionless.

Naruto stood up, his fist wiping furiously at his blue eyes, “I…I accept y-your m-mission, H-Hokage-s-sama.” The tears fell freely now, streaming down his whisker-marked cheeks.

He turned then, storming out of the office and down the hall. Inside the office, Tsunade hung her head in defeat, her voice a mere whisper, “Naruto, I’m so sorry.”

The blonde stormed past Sakura and Shizune in the front office, “Naruto! Wait!!” Sakura leapt from her chair and reached for him as he passed, but her words could not reach him.

He had retreated to the deepest corners of his mind, the place he knew only too well from his lonely childhood. Tsunade’s words echoed through his thoughts *“Kill Uchiha Sasuke.”* It was worse than any torment he had ever experienced. Kill Sasuke, his best friend, his lover. He burst out of the double doors, it had started to rain, the grey sky finally spilling over to reflect the young man’s emotions. The rain mingled with the tears on his face, he wasn’t sure if he was even crying anymore.

Half of him knew he had to carry out the mission; it was the same half that made him hate himself for crying over it. The other half knew he’d probably hate himself for the rest of his life. He steeled himself against the second half, locked away the way he felt when he was around Sasuke, locked away his humanity.

He dressed that night for the hardest mission of his life. The white on black ANBU uniform seemed strange, alien. He used to rejoice in its meanings; superiority, trust, time with Sasuke. Now it meant nothing but emptiness, sorrow, and tears.

He sped across the forest to the clearing where he would usually meet his raven-haired lover. He had tried to convince Sasuke to come back to Konoha, since Orochimaru had been killed, but Sasuke insisted he was a rogue ninja now and only faced death back at Konoha’s gates. ‘Now he faces death in the arms of the only person he trusts anymore.’ The thought brought a pang of guilt that twisted around in the kitsune’s stomach, tearing at his insides, strangling his heart.

He landed in the clearing; the forest around him was silent and dark, but he knew Sasuke had beat him there, he could sense his impatient chakra.

A soft meeting of stealthy feet on mossy ground to his left alerted the blonde to his friend’s whereabouts, “You beat me...as always, Sasuke.” He chuckled coldly, removing his animal mask from his face.

“I’ve missed you. It’s been a while Dobe.” Sasuke stepped behind him, wrapping pale arms around the ANBU, nuzzling the tan neck.

Naruto’s voice was a choked sob, “I-I’ve missed you too, S-Sasuke.” His breathing was uneasy, his shoulders quaked.

Sasuke spun him around, “Naruto, what’s wrong?” The pale man hugged the other to him, “You know I can’t stand to see you crying.”

Naruto reached-painfully slowly-to his kunai holster. His fingers twitched above the exposed handle, hesitating.

“Naruto, please…What’s happened?”

Naruto’s hands went cold as he grasped the handle; tears ran down his whiskered face, his voice was a mere shaky whisper. “Oh gods…Sa-Sasuke...I’m so sorry…”

“Wha-?”

The kunai’s sharp edge plunged deep into the pale expanse of bare skin; Naruto could almost hear the skin and muscle tearing, the arteries he knew he’d hit rupturing. He felt warmth pooling around his hands, where he still held fast to the blade. He gritted his teeth, biting back a scream of torment.

Sasuke sputtered, his legs going weak, and dropped to the forest floor. Naruto guided the raven’s bleeding body down easily, cradling his shoulders as he finally let loose of the kunai still embedded in Sasuke’s stomach. Pale lips quaked, and blood gurgled over, adding to the growing stain on Sasuke’s white robes. Naruto bowed his head onto the other man’s quivering shoulder, sobbing quietly.

“S-s-sasuke…I-I’m…I had to…” the blonde choked out, slowly rocking the dying man in his arms.

“D-dobe…You,” a shuddering breath, “You know I hate it…wh-when you-uhn…c-cry.”

Sasuke’s hand fell from its strangle-hold on the chest of Naruto’s white vest. And the pale man struggled to touch his lover’s face. Naruto guided the shaking hand to his own face, the alabaster fingers growing cold and weak.

“Stay with m-me…” Sasuke pleaded, “I don’t want to be alone…a-all my life,” he coughed up crimson, “I’-I’ve been…all a-alone.”

The blonde’s voice wavered, his breath uneven and staccato, “I l-love you.” He laid his forehead to Sasuke’s, sobbing.

Sasuke groaned, clutching to Naruto’s blood-stained vest again, and choked up more blood, the color rushing down his chin and mingling with Naruto’s long bangs.

A silver tear slid down the Uchiha’s face as his chest heaved a final time. Then he was still.
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