Title: Eatable
Word Count: 1,416
Naruto and Sasuke hated it when Kakashi would go on long missions. Not because they worried for his safety, although they did. It wasn’t even because they missed his easy-going attitude, though they sort of did that too. No, they counted off the days until Kakashi came home so they could eat again.
Iruka was a terrible cook. How he’d survived so long on his own was anybody’s guess because half the time even he couldn’t eat the stuff he made. Sasuke guessed he used to eat out a lot, and this was supported by the fact that all the restaurant owners seemed to know him when they went out.
The only thing the young Chuunin could manage was Ramen, which would have been fine if he’d stuck to just Ramen. But no, Iruka kept insisting that growing boys needed something called ‘nutrition’ and refused to stick to the only thing he could make that could be swallowed.
Naruto looked sadly down at the bento in his lap. He didn’t know what the brown and black mess with half-cooked rice was, but he knew what it wasn’t. It wasn’t Ramen. He glanced over at Sasuke’s box and sighed. His wasn’t either.
The blond put down his box and looked mournfully up at the sky. “How long until ‘Kashi-senpai gets home again?”
“Three days, five hours, twenty-four minutes and eighteen seconds,” Sasuke muttered, putting down his box as well, “if he’s the usual amount of late.”
Naruto groaned, burying his face in his knees. “We’re doomed.”
“What are you guys doing?”
Naruto looked up from his mourning position to see the face of his best friend, Inuzuka Kiba, peering at them through the bushes.
“Hiding,” Sasuke said simply, and it was true. If Iruka could find them at lunchtime, he would ask that they come and sit with him in his classroom while they ate. The two boys had a hard time telling their beloved Iruka no to anything, and normally that wasn’t a problem. But when he made their lunches, they’d feel obligated to choke down as much of that stuff as they could so as not to hurt Iruka’s feelings. If he didn’t find them, they didn’t have to it.
“Oh,” Kiba blinked, crawling through the bushes to sit beside them, his sensitive nose wrinkling. “Why? And what have you got that smells so awful?”
“From Oniichan, because he’s the one that made our lunches, which are what smells so bad.”
Kiba looked surprised. He had not been their friend long enough to have had Iruka’s cooking before. “They can’t be that bad.”
Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a look before Naruto handed Kiba his lunch. Kiba nearly gagged and handed it back.
“Well, certainly it must smell worse than it tastes.”
“Are you kidding?” Naruto raged. “The smell is the tolerable part! The taste…”
Sasuke held up his hand to silence his brother, a wicked grin on his pretty face. “Tell you what, Kiba, lets make a bet.”
“A bet?”
“Yep. If you can’t eat more than a bite of our lunches, we each get one of your rice balls,” here Sasuke pointed to the other boy’s own bento box for emphasis. “If you can, I’ll personally do your homework for the next month and make sure you pass any and all tests.”
Kiba weighted his options momentarily. His rice-balls were his favorite kind, but on the other hand his mother said he wouldn’t be able to get his partner from the next litter if his grades didn’t come up. In the end, morals had nothing to do with it. “You’ve got a deal!”
Naruto grinned gleefully, handing his lunch to the other boy for the second time. Kiba swallowed hard, picking up a bite with the chopsticks. Naruto and Sasuke watched as the brunette put the food in his mouth, and Naruto cracked up as it came flying right back out again.
“Elgh,” Kiba said, rubbing his tongue on his sleeve. “That’s…elgh!”
Sasuke grinned, holding out his hand. “Pay up, Inuzuka.”
Kiba opened his box and handed each boy a rice ball, “here! You two deserve if, if you have to live on that stuff. I’ll ask mom if she can make extra for you guys tomorrow.”
“Yatta!” Naruto grinned, wolfing down his rice ball nearly whole. ‘You’re the best, Kiba-kun!”
Sasuke smiled, looking down at his hand. Oh, he truly was a genius.
“What are you guys doing to Kiba?”
The three boys looked up to see Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji peering at them through the leaves. Naruto rushed to explain, his own eyes now glittering wickedly. Sasuke took a bite of his rice ball. Maybe they’d get a complete lunch after all.
“Chouji could do it,” Ino said confidently. “Ne, Chouji-kun?”
“I don’t know…” Chouji said, looking from the half-eaten container of miso soup and fried fish in his hands to Naruto’s box on the ground.
“We’ll bring you some of ‘Kashi-senpai’s cooking everyday for two weeks,” Naruto offered.
Chouji smiled. Far be it from him to turn down free good food. “What do you guys get?”
“The rest of your lunch, and you’ll pack extra for the next three days to give us.”
Chouji hesitated. He was still hungry…
“You’ve got it!” Ino said, clapping the boy on the shoulder. “Show these two they aren’t so great, Chouji-kun!”
“So troublesome,” Shikamaru muttered, rubbing his ear. Chouji gulped as Kiba laughed and handed him Naruto’s food.
“Itadakimasu,” Chouji said hesitantly, picking up a bite. He put it in his mouth, and started to chew. He turned green and gagged. He managed to swallow, but shoved both bento boxes into Naruto’s waiting hands. “I couldn’t finish mine now anyway.”
“Eh?” Ino said, blinking her large blue eyes.
Naruto dropped his original box, picking up the chopsticks from it and rubbing them on the hem of his shirt before he launched in to his half of Chouji’s remaining lunch with gusto.
“What’s everybody doing?” Sakura asked, approaching them with Hinata in tow.
“Trying to eat lunch,” Kiba offered over Chouji, who was now sitting on the ground holding his stomach while Shikamaru patted him awkwardly on the back.
Sakura blinked while Hinata looked curious.
“I have one last bet to purpose,” Sasuke said coolly. Naruto stopped eating to look at his brother in surprise. Sasuke was practically radiating evil. “This one is for Ino and Sakura.”
“Me, Sasuke-kun?” Both girls gasped, before glaring at each other.
“Hn,” Sasuke smirked. “Lets see if you two can do it. Whoever eats the least brings Naruto and I breakfast for the next three days, the most brings us dinner. If either of you can eat more than three bites, you don’t have to feed us and I’ll take her on a date.”
Both girls looked delighted. Kiba had fallen over from laughing by this point, while Hinata was using her byakkugan to find out what was wrong with Chouji.
Sakura snatched the chopsticks from Naruto’s limp hand, and grabbed his abandoned box while Ino grabbed Sasuke’s long forgotten one.
“Itadakimasu!” Both girls said fiercely, speedily shoving a bite into her mouth.
It was later much disputed by Ino, but the general consensus was that Sakura ate more because she managed to swallow her bite and get a second one most of the way to her mouth before throwing up while Ino only managed half a bite before she couldn’t take anymore.
Naruto grinned at his brother as both girls continued gagging. “Looks like we’ll be okay until ‘Kashi-senpai gets back, ne Sasuke-niisan?”
Sasuke nodded, taking great delight in the girls’ distressed state.
From the window above the bushes, Iruka smiled. He’d been listening the whole time, and couldn’t find it in him to be insulted. He really was an awful cook.
He looked at the lunch box in his hand and sighed. “Three days, five hours, six minutes, and fifty-nine seconds…”
“Oi! Iruka-sensei!”
Iruka looked up to see Genma approaching him, eyeing the bento in his hand. Iruka found himself eyeing Genma’s own lunch hungrily. He hadn’t eaten since Kakashi left either, and that teriyaki chicken smelt divine.
Genma tried to peer into the box, but Iruka carefully concealed it. Genma pouted. “Whatcha got there, Iruka-sensei?”
Iruka grinned a little bit wickedly to himself. Well, if the boys got to eat it was only fair he did too. “Only the most delightful lunch in the world, Genma-san, that I wouldn’t even think of trading for anything ever…”
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Chapter notes: Hey look! This one doesn’t have KakaIru as the main focus. Be amazed! Or disappointed. Whichever.
Yes, I believe Iruka is a terrible cook. That's why he regularly eats at a Ramen stand!
Still don't own these adorable characters XD.