My name Is Uzumaki Naruto, Hokage of Konoha. I am unbreakable. I am impenetrable, irredeemable. I am alone, and I love it.
Was there really a point? Was there ever purpose?
I could vaguely remember a time where there was. When I had purpose. When I had reason. When I had love.
“I’ll become Hokage! It’s my ninja way! Believe it!”
That died years ago. It died with that man. The deceiver, the liar, the betrayer, the cheater.
“Uchiha Sasuke, why are you here in Konoha?”
“I’m here to ask for forgiveness, to become a member of this village again. I’m back because of regret, and because this is my home, Hokage-sama”
“The likelihood of becoming a member of this village after your defection is slim to none. I will talk to the council members. Perhaps they will agree to give you probabtion”
Vivid flashes of light danced in front of my eyes. Was it day or night? I could never tell back then. Never.
Perhaps it was due to the daze that I lived in. Walking around numb and void, wasting away into the shadows.
It’s been years since I devoted myself to the people around me. My old teammates, their friends, my friends. I live for myself and myself alone.
People stopped insulting me after a while. At least, I think that’s what happened. I can’t quite remember.
“Uchiha Sasuke, you’re probation is officially over. Under the contract signed upon you’re arrival, you will be re-instated as a Genin.”
“Thank you Hokage-sama...for everthing”
...
“Sasuke! Well! What did they say?!”
“Calm down, Naruto, and I’ll tell you”
“Please don’t tease me! Come on, spill it!!”
“Okay, fine. I’m off of probation, and have been re-instated as a Genin. They said when the next exam comes around, they’ll let me participate”
“Yes! You know what that means right?”
“...I don’t know...What?”
“Celebration!”
...
“Naruto...I have something I need to tell you”
“What is it baka?”
“I...I....um...”
“Oh, come on, spill it. You can tell me”
“I...I love you. You mean everything to me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Naruto”
“....I don’t know what to say...”
“Say...that you love me too”
“..I do”
Sometimes, flashes of my old life take hold of me, choking me, devouring me. It’s in these instances that I relish what I had and it makes me feel vulgar, disgusting.
That’s why I destroyed everything I knew. Every memory. Every time I remember, I destroy it. I destroy everything I’ve ever known, in hopes that I will become an empty vessel, and be able to start over.
Before I met him.
Before I let him into my heart.
Before it was all taken away.
“I love you Naruto”
“I love you too Sasuke”
“It’s our one year today. I bought you something”
“Really?! What is it?”
...
“What...WHAT IS THIS?!”
“...I’m sorry Naruto”
“Shut up! How...how could you? WITH HER!?”
“I....I don’t know wha-“
“SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!”
“Please...cal-“
“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down! Don’t you dare. You’ve been home for 3 years now. We’ve spent the last 2 together, loving eachother, caring for each other. I gave myself to you, my everything, and this is what I get? Finding you and Sakura in our bed, with her fucking legs spread, and you fucking her into oblivion, moaning how much you love her?! How long? Huh? How long has this been going on?!”
“...”
“TELL ME!”
“10 months...”
“I see. Get out”
“Naruto, please”
“I SAID GET OUT! NEVER COME BACK! NEVER! Go love your happy life with your whore”
After that day I dropped off the face of the earth. At first people called. They knocked on my door. Eventually they stopped.
They got married, Sasuke and Sakura, 4 years ago. Six months after I found them, they married.
I don’t remember that night very well. Even if I hadn’t destroyed every trace of my past, I still wouldn’t remember what happened that day. It might have been the Sake.
When that happened, I knew things had to change. So I changed. I went outside for the first time in a long time. The sun was bright and it hurt my eyes. I ran into people I thought I recognized. They didn’t recognize me.
I eventually found myself on the training grounds.
I was rusty, but I trained. All night, and long into the next day.
It felt beautiful. I had never felt anything like this since before that day.
I woke up on the training field, sweaty, dirty and I wasn’t alone.
It was him.
“Naruto...I think we need to talk”
“Never again Uchiha. Never again will we talk”
That night I carved four words into my arm, a permanent reminder to myself in the years to come.
“Let sleeping dogs lie”
Eventually I put all myself into becoming the most powerful ninja imaginable. Within a year of the incident I was leader of the ANBU.
By the next year I was said to be more powerful than the Sannin combined.
I started talking to people again. They thought I was better now. They trusted me. Some wondered what happened to the hyper-active child I once was.
Most figured I had just matured.
I was a well-oiled machine. I got up, I trained, I went on missions and I never failed.
Socializing was something I could fake quite easily.
Somehow, I worked my way to this position. Somehow I managed to become what I always dreamed.
Was it what I always wanted? I don’t remember.
I’m standing here, Tsunade-sama congratulating me on becoming her successor, my fellow shinobi standing around me.
Somewhere, in the room, is Sasuke and Sakura. I can sense their chakra. I don’t care.
Nodding, I graciously thank the Godaime Hokage, accepting the position.
----------------------------------------------
(six months later)
I guess this is where I belong. Living a life of solitude, devoting myself to things and my work. Not to the people I am supposed to protect. They are a job, and I do my job well.
I don’t remember my past, I do not remember anything before telling Sasuke we would never speak again.
I wonder about that sometimes. What happened to me? What happened between us? Who was I?
I know of the events around my life. The Chuunin exams, Orochimaru, Akatsuki, saving Gaara, Sasuke's defection, his return. But, I don't have any recollection of anything happening to me. It's a blank void. I’d like to find out, but the reminder I gave myself years ago keeps me from trying.
What was my purpose? What was I supposed to do with my life?
There was a time where I had the answer to that question. That was years ago. I’m a different person now.
My name Is Uzumaki Naruto, Hokage of Konoha. I am unbreakable. I am impenetrable, irredeemable. I am alone, and I love it.