The Red Light District by arichang (v.arianne@gmail.com)
Genres: Romance, Angst, Tragedy
Pairings: Sasuke/Naruto, Neji/Hinata, mentions of miscellaneous others
Warnings: Shounen-ai, yaoi, incest, adult themes, angst, lemon, language
Disclaimer: Characters and names all belong to their respective owners.
- - -
CHAPTER ONE – HIS STORY and HERS
When people asked him what he did for a living, he never really knew what to say. If he were to answer truthfully, people looked at him, cringed and found some reason to excuse themselves, making sure their million-yen shoes didn’t get dirty. Yes, that was the truth. He was dirty. It was only right to be alienated and shunned like that. Then again, only the men seemed to have a problem with him. Well, most men, that is. With the women, it was a whole different story altogether: they—invariably—gawked lustily at him for a moment then “looked away in disgust”, as if the action prior that hadn’t occurred at all. It was never a surprise for Uzumaki Naruto to see those same women again the very next day… as customers. Or guests as “Jiraiya-sama” insisted he called them.
In all honesty, Naruto did not really care.
“Ohhh! Naruto… kun!” one of his more regular guests was on top of him, moaning. She had tied him up, prostrated and completely naked on the bed, and had begun to touch him in places he really rathered not be touched. Her hand ran hungrily up and down his firm abdomen while she half-kissed, half-licked his strong outstretched arms. Naruto hated these sadistic women. However, he was forced to admit that, well, it was good pay. They always felt obligated to give him little... gifts... for bearing with their sadist fantasies—fantasies they apparently could not fulfill with their less than able husbands. Oh yes, Naruto heard much about stupid, idiotic and incapable fag husbands (and catered to quite a few of them, too) and the women loved the fact that Uzumaki Naruto, the great gigolo, would do anything their small, demented hearts desired. Well, almost anything. He definitely did not allow “spanking” (much to the frustration of quite a few) and no way in hell would he allow a whip of any sort within twenty feet of his person. But still, women could come up with rather... frightening things when they were allowed to. The only reason he bore with these women was the fact the “gifts” he received were the only things that bastard Ero-sennin did not know about. Naruto learned the hard way not to share anything with that frog freak. Now, don’t get him wrong; Naruto was more than grateful to Jiraiya for taking him in when no one else seemed to care he existed. But... sometimes, just sometimes, Naruto wondered what in the hell he’d gotten himself into.
Naruto sighed as he washed himself, rubbing his skin raw just to get rid of the lingering perfume the previous woman left on him. Why did Naruto do this? Was there really no way out of this whorehouse? When the Ero-sennin took him in, it was because of his blonde hair and blue eyes. Apparently, in the Red Light District of downtown Tokyo, not many foreigners provided service. Jiraiya spied him on the streets alone (hungry and unconscious, among other things) one day and thought he found himself a rare treasure. Whenever Jiraiya questioned him about his origins, Naruto merely shrugged. He had no clue where he came from. He did not know who his parents were, he did not know if he had any family. And after such a long time of being alone, Naruto had stopped caring. Naruto was only twelve when Jiraiya “discovered” him and took him on as an apprentice. Since then, so many things had happened that Naruto didn’t even remember the details of that first time he met the strange frog hermit. What he did remember however, he knew he would probably never forget. He dreamt about it almost every night, after all. He had been looking for something—or maybe someone—whatever or whoever it was, it was important and Naruto couldn’t find it—or him. He had been running around, lost and for some reason, feeling betrayed. Then, he’d collapsed quite suddenly, probably because of hunger. The next thing he knew, Naruto was working at Jiraiya’s house. There was a blank in his memory and he knew this… however, he didn’t care. Back then, as long as he got his ramen, Naruto was pleased. Life was simple and it didn’t take much for him to be content. Being twelve and naive did that to a person, he supposed.
But that changed when he turned sixteen—that day, Jiraiya had called him to his office and told him that he had a special job for him.
“Naruto, this is Hinata-chan,” Jiraiya pointed to the small, pale girl who was standing next to him. Naruto had never seen anyone look so innocent and so fragile before. He wondered what she was doing here—Naruto may have been an idiot, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew exactly what this “house” was for. And it was definitely not a place for innocent-looking girls like her.
“Nice to meet you,” she said ever so softly. Naruto had to strain his ears to hear her.
“Pleasure’s mine,” Naruto replied. Could they please get over the formalities already? What did Jiraiya want?
Jiraiya smirked at Naruto’s expression. “Naruto, you’re not a kid anymore. You just turned sixteen.” He looked to his right, “Hinata’s your age. She’s new, as you can see... but she came to us at... just the right time... I’m sure you understand.”
Naruto hated to admit it, but yes, he did. Staying in this sort of place, little kids unconsciously began to understand things they soon learned to wish they’d remained ignorant of. Naruto was afraid of where the strange conversation was going.
“I don’t want both of your first times to be with complete strangers—I’m not one of those people who sell virginity,” Jiraiya continued. “Besides, those with experience tend to reel in the clients faster. So... you know what to do. You can both get to know each other a bit first, if you like. However,” he eyed them both. Hinata was blushing. Naruto was clenching his fists. “Christmas is coming soon... and you know how lonely people can get during Christmas. You guys have two weeks.”
Naruto stared at him. He... was kidding, right? He wasn’t saying what Naruto thought he was saying... right? He looked at Hinata in dismay to find that she was staring at the floor. Her pale face was redder than anything Naruto had ever seen before. He didn’t know anyone could blush as much as she did then. He also wanted to punch Jiraiya’s face in for implying something like that. True, Naruto was a guy and every healthy guy his age would be at least “curious” to discover the mysteries of the opposite sex... but... to force a girl like her into doing something like this? Jiraiya was nastier than Naruto ever thought he was.
Eventually, Hinata and he were ushered out of the office and left alone on the catwalk which led to the other houses. Jiraiya’s property was relatively large and consisted of several houses all connected to each other. Jiraiya’s personal home was of course the largest and was in the northern section of the compound. Quite conveniently, it was connected to the workers’ (that is, maids, servants, cooks) dorms and also to the residences of Jiraiya’s “children”. Naruto was pretty sure Jiraiya took advantage of those connections not only during the day when he’d walk around making sure everything was running smoothly, but also during the night when he was just a little drunk. Or horny.
“Anno,” Hinata broke the silence, “Uzumaki... N-Naruto... kun?” She looked at him with a blush, subsiding but still present, on her cheeks. Naruto couldn’t help but think how adorable she was—he felt an overwhelming need to protect her. He suddenly felt sick as he recalled what he was supposed to do.
Naruto tried to smile, “Hinata-chan, right?”
She nodded, looking embarrassed. Oh gosh, she was adorable.
“You hungry?”
- - -
“Hinata-chan! Please hurry! You’ll be late!”
Hinata smiled and nodded as she quickened her pace. Tying her hair back, she looked at herself in the mirror. Behind the thick white makeup and the red lips, she couldn’t see her ordinarily pale complexion. She nodded once again as if to convince herself she had successfully put her mask on, then smiled her signature smile—elegant but understated, experienced yet shy. Yes, she could still do it. She got up, put her brushes and colours away, and then got ready to face the rest of the day.
She’d first come here two years ago, a little while after her sixteenth birthday. Circumstances had forced her out of her home and she had wandered the streets of Tokyo for several days before finally collapsing in front of Jiraiya-sama’s house. Of course, at the time, she hadn’t known where she was. However, she remembered fairly clearly how she had been lifted off the ground and put on her feet again. An old man with thick white hair forced some bread into her hands and told her to go away.
“This isn’t the place for a good girl like you.”
She looked at him, bewildered. Mustering up courage she didn’t know she had, she muttered, “Good girl? How can you be so sure I am one?” The old man raised an eyebrow and started laughing—it was a nice, genuine and hearty laugh. She looked at him and huffed indignantly, “We just met!”
He patted her head. “I like your spirit, girl. But, trust me... I know good women when I see them. I’ve been working with them all my life, after all.” He smiled and winking at her, pointed behind him towards his house, using his thumb. Realization dawned on Hinata’s face and a pretty little blush presented themselves on her pale cheeks.
She looked back at the old man and asked, “Where am I? Who are you?”
He smiled, pity in his eyes, “Welcome to the Red Light District. I’m Jiraiya. That there is Konoha, my... house.”
She gasped and placed a hand over her mouth. The Red Light District? She’d only ever heard of the place...
The strange man turned, “Better go back home. Your family’s probably worried about you.”
Jiraiya’s statement brought Hinata back. She grabbed unto the sleeve of his red shirt quite without meaning to and not looking at him, she whispered, “Please, sir, I’ve no where to go.”
Jiraiya paused and turning around to look at her, asked, “Are you sure?”
She looked up him, unblinking, “Yes.”
“Ahh... Hinata-chan. I thought you’d never come.”
She smiled in response, reminiscence interrupted, and allowed her “guest” to take her arm. She frowned a bit and pouted, then she looked down as if embarrassed. “I’m really sorry. You hate me now, don’t you?”
Her guest looked at her and held her chin, forcing her to look up at him. “That’s not possible.” He grinned as if he was some prince charming from far away. Hinata tried to force her meagre breakfast back down. She should’ve been used to these kinds of things by now... but there were times when she’d been disgusted with herself for what she did to her body... or rather, allowed her clients to do to her. It was nauseating. Especially if she was forced to cater to people who thought they were the most delightful gentlemen on the planet. And sometimes, she just couldn’t help feeling guilty when she thought about the families some of “her” men left behind on a weekly basis.
“Ohayou, Hinata-chan!” a sunny voice interrupted her depressing thoughts.
Hinata looked up to see a smiling Naruto. Her heart skipped a beat. Or two.
“Ohayou gozaimasu, Naruto-kun,” she smiled back, heart beating quickly. She was thankful for her make up. Without them, she knew Naruto would not fail to see how she was blushing. She didn’t think she could stand the embarrassment. She watched as Naruto nodded at her and then at her client and continued his walk. Since he was coming from one of the rooms, he’d probably just finished with a job. She sighed. Being sought-after and popular must’ve been hard on Naruto. It was so early in the morning, and yet some women still came often to bother him. Hinata’s shoulders sagged. That was right, wasn’t it? Naruto slept with a lot of women. Lots and lots of them. She couldn’t help feeling a little heart broken at the thought that she was “just another one” that was forced on him. She still recalled the day she’d first met him. She’d blushed like a poor little girl who didn’t know what to do. She was lost and afraid and definitely doubted whether she’d done the right thing by following the strange, white-haired man into his office. But often, Hinata mused that Naruto made joining Jiraiya-sama’s family worth it. Or, at the very least, Naruto made this hellish life bearable.
They reached their designated room and her client wasted no time latching his mouth—in a most disgusting manner—against her neck and immediately began to undress her.
She feigned a gasp and moan, trying to hide her seething revulsion.
“Sir! We’re not even in the room yet...”
“Hush, Hin-chan. I had a bad day at work today and I’m in a really foul mood.”
Hinata moaned—this time inwardly and not because of pleasure. Not again. And damn, she hated that nickname. Eventually, she managed to open the door enough so she could be pushed in. The client quickly closed the door behind him, not once letting go of Hinata’s neck, and began to undress the both of them simultaneously. He was making a very messy and very ineffective job of it, but she did not complain—she knew it would only encourage him more. She stood there, leaning against the wall, shutting her eyes, and waited (or rather, wished) for it to be over. Since he was in a bad mood, she was at least not forced to do any foreplay. She tried to hide her grunt as he roughly forced himself inside her, making her wince in pain. She recalled the first time she’d made love. Or rather, had sex. She often did, if only to relieve some of the pain. It was silly, she knew... but she couldn’t help it if most of what she ever thought about was Naruto.
- - -
He smiled at Hinata and her latest client—it was a necessary courtesy; though he hadn’t wanted to, he had to—and walked away. He shuddered as he thought of what that weirdo could be doing to her by now; her regular room was not too far off, after all. In truth, most of him wanted to drag her away from this place. But he knew it had been her personal choice to come here... and he had no right to say anything about something like that. The same more or less went for everyone else who lived here. He didn’t ask questions, and in return, no one asked him any either. It was like an unwritten law of sorts. For example, he never inquired as to how Tenten-senpai had ended up here when he knew perfectly well she was pretty enough to have become a geisha.
He never dared ask what that annoying little gaki Konohamaru was doing here either. Jiraiya had introduced him to everyone one day and ever since, Konohamaru had tailed Naruto, claiming himself as “the star’s apprentice”. Naruto tried time and again to rid himself of the little annoyance, but Jiraiya-sama just found the whole thing amusing and even encouraged the little twit. He said the boy had promise and potential; he even had the name for the place—a disturbing coincidence in Naruto’s opinion—and Jiraiya insisted that if Naruto trained him right, he could become “big” when the time came. Naruto did not look forward to helping Jiraiya ruin another little boy’s life. And so, he avoided him as much as possible. Speaking of which, he’d never asked how Jiraiya got into this business either. Of course, Naruto reckoned it was simply because he was a horny bastard... but there could have been other reasons.
There were always other reasons.
He also never asked Ino-pig (an “affectionate” nickname given to her by her best friend Sakura—another pretty one Naruto reckoned could do well as a geisha—which had pretty much stuck... with everyone, including, much to her irritation, her regular guests) why she stayed here when she could be living a happily ever after ending with the professional shougi player Shikamaru. The shougi player had lazily asked her one day if she wanted to get married. Sakura-chan always insisted that Ino-buta only stayed here so they would remain rivals. Ino-buta said that it was because she wanted “that damned Shikamaru” to woo her a bit more. Apparently, “getting quite attached” to her was not reason enough to marry. If anything, she felt as if he only asked her to marry him because it was too “troublesome” to look elsewhere. Naruto laughed at the thought and wondered where Ino-buta managed to get the idea that people like them had the luxury to be romantic.
He stopped in his tracks.
“People... like ‘us’... huh,” he said out loud, surprised at what he just thought.
Yes... people like them. They weren’t normal people. They weren’t allowed to fall in love, they had no freedom, they had to be soldiers in this endless fight to survive, “to live”. They weren’t allowed to feel hurt when they did, nor sad when they were—and they were certainly not allowed to display these feelings. Hell, they weren’t allowed human emotions at all... it would hinder their work, Jiraiya-sama had said one day. It would distract them... and it would eventually and inevitably break them. The Ero-sennin had been chastising Hinata for bursting into tears after her first job. Naruto sighed again, suddenly remembering Hinata and praying (to whom? He didn’t know) that she was alright... Till today he still felt the guilt at having “deflowered” Hinata. Yes, it was guilt more than anything else. As far as he was concerned, it was as if he was forced to rape his own sister. He shuddered. He did not like that idea.
Even though Hinata had been understanding and kind, he still felt as if he had done something completely unforgivable. Sometimes, he wished they weren’t given the opportunity to get to know each other first before having to go through with it. Perhaps that would’ve made the guilt a little less on Naruto’s part. She was a good girl, he knew that. He was witness to that fact. For two weeks after they met they had had their meals together and they had gotten to know each other. Albeit, they didn’t talk about their pasts, they knew enough about each other to be considered friends—friends didn’t come easy in this world and he was grateful he found someone like her in this hellhole. But, that only made doing what he had been forced to do to her even harder and... more evil.
She was a good girl. She didn’t deserve it.
“Naruto-kun,” she had whispered as they sat awkwardly next to each other in their room. Jiraiya had gotten sick of waiting and told them to get it over with. Jiraiya had sighed and said this was the reason why he didn’t agree with selling virginity. Not only was it hard on the person, but it was most likely hard on the guest too... well, that really depended on how sick and sadistic the client was, of course. Nonetheless, they were running out of time and they had better move it.
“Hinata-chan,” Naruto had gulped. What was he doing?
“I... I... Look, don’t worry about it,” he eventually said, looking around and fishing for words in his head. “See, I’ve saved a bit of money. Did a few odd jobs here and there. It’s nothing huge, but it might be enough for you to get a train ticket and—”
Hinata’s eyes widened. “What are you saying, Naruto-kun?”
“Well, I’ve been saving up... so... you know, I could get out of here. But, right now, you need to get out. I can’t... I won’t do something like this. No way in hell.” Naruto stared at the air in front of him. Hinata was looking at him, a strange look in her eyes.
“Naruto-kun, I couldn’t possibly take your money. It’s yours.”
“Exactly!” Naruto sat up and grabbed her shoulders. “It’s my money to do whatever I want with! You don’t deserve to live a life like this... I won’t stand for it. You have a family, don’t you? Go back to them!”
At this, Hinata’s eyes softened and she looked away. Naruto cursed.
“Shit. I’m sorry, Hinata... I...”
“Naruto-kun, you’re too kind. You really are.”
Hinata held both of his hands on her shoulders with hers and smiled a watery smile. Naruto was taken aback and started moving away, but her hands kept him place. “Hinata-chan?” he asked hesitantly. “What are you—”
She leaned in and swallowed the rest of the question with her mouth. Naruto’s eyes widened.
“Jiraiya-sama is waiting, Naruto-kun.”
“Naruto-kun!”
Naruto looked up, annoyed, and scowled at the face that greeted him.
“Hello, Ero-sennin?”
Jiraiya grinned at him, face unperturbed. “You must show a bit more respect to your seniors, Naruto.”
“Ah, so you’re finally admitting you’re a nasty, perverted old man?”
“Nasty and perverted, I have to confess I am. But,” he looked at him with gleam in his eyes, “You’re as old as you feel you are, my dear friend. That’s a good thing to remember.”
“Yeah, well, I feel like I’m seven—”
“And you act like it, too.”
Naruto scowled again. If Naruto weren’t so indebted to His Highness, he would be more than willing to slit his throat with a chopstick, if such a thing were even possible. But no, that would not do right now. Maybe later when he managed to get out of here and free himself. For now, he settled with giving Jiraiya another evil glare which he figured was not as effective as it should’ve been because he was hungry. He probably just looked like he was going to throw up, if Jiraiya’s chuckle was any indication.
Finally, Naruto continued making his way, after making sure to push the old man away, to the eating quarters. There he saw Ino-buta and Sakura-chan huddled together over a hot plate. Ino-buta was once again complaining about Shikamaru and his “women are so troublesome” attitude and Sakura-chan was moaning about the lack of guys to fall in love with around here. All the guys she ever had to work with were jerks and she hated them all.
Naruto laughed again. Where did these girls get the energy to talk about their lives like that? It was really only natural all the guys she knew were jerks. Of course, Naruto was an exception and made sure to point that out when he sat down in front of them, ramen bowl and chopsticks in hand.
“Hate to break it to you, Hun,” Ino said, chopsticks in mid-air, “The kind of guy we think is decent would be the kind who doesn’t sleep around.” Sakura grinned in agreement. Naruto moaned, half-amused and half-insulted.
It was times and people like these that allowed Naruto to enjoy life... even if just for a while and even if for just a little. He couldn’t share anything with them, they hardly knew each other, but he enjoyed their company... their companionship. In a way they were important people to him. If they hadn’t been here... if Ino-buta, Sakura-chan and even Jiraiya... if their great cook Iruka—one of the people who really helped him out while he was still new, Naruto owed him a lot... especially in the stolen foods department—if Hinata weren’t here... Naruto didn’t know if he would’ve actually survived as long as he had so far.
After his late breakfast—Naruto hated these early morning women, they were ridiculous as far as he was concerned—he began the journey back to his room. Fortunately, it was a Tuesday. Not too many people come during work days... particularly during the daytime. He sighed and rubbed his stomach, satisfied and full. Ramen had a strange way of making things seem so much better than they really were.
Closing his eyes, he started humming a random tune as he leaned back to feel the sun against his skin. He was walking through the garden, taking a shortcut, wanting to avoid contact with anything else human at the moment. To his left, he heard the familiar sounds of the kitchen which eventually made way to the quieter and more serene sound of the small waterfall in the east garden. He turned at a memorized corner as he made his way south towards his sanctum... and hit a wall.
Naruto fell back and hit his head on the ground which was fortunately soft. Cursing, he looked up to investigate what it was he had hit. The wall turned around and looked at him, originally with an annoyed and irritated face... which soon gave way to an amused one. Naruto was startled at first and stared at the face. He didn’t know how long they looked at each other, but those deep, dark eyes seemed unwilling to let go of his own lighter blue ones. Eventually, Naruto grew aware of the sounds of money being counted and of hectic cleaning to his left and realized he was near the main building where the entrance was, in the southern end. He looked once again at the beautiful—it was the only word in his limited vocabulary he could think of to describe it—face and concluded that it was probably a customer. He stood up, patting himself, bowed and apologized for his carelessness. He realized that, for a woman, she was rather tall; they were almost the same height, and he considered himself pretty tall to begin with. He wondered why she wore such thick and dark clothing—about the only bit of her skin you could see was her pale, white face... and even that was shrouded and unclear because of her dark locks. It had quite a masculine shape to it, but was beautiful nonetheless. It had a strong air around it. Besides that, no one ever wore kimonos like those anymore—or was that a yukata? From where he stood, it seemed as if her hair was short but she could’ve just done it up like the latest fashion, he didn’t know... nor did he really care. All he really noticed were those dark, unblinking eyes still staring at him.
They burned.
Suddenly, she looked away, nodded and walked away without saying a word. Naruto stared after her. He couldn’t help himself. After a while, he realized his pulse had quickened to an abnormal pace and that he felt hot. He felt his forehead. Was he catching something?
- - -
Hinata sighed into her wet towel as she wiped her face. She looked up at the mirror and smiled at the familiar features she saw there. She traced her pale face with her fingers and picked up a droplet of water. Watching it hang on to her finger as she held it over the sink, she waited for it to finally give up and fall. She chuckled. That was the story of her life right there—just waiting for the moment she would eventually (and inevitably) give up and fall. She looked up at the mirror once again and continued examining her face. Her pale eyes, which were already emotionless for as long as she could remember, seemed to have lost even more of their lustre, if they even had any to begin with. She washed her mouth for the fifth time within the past twenty minutes, still trying to get the taste of the previous man out. After having had his way with her, he had forced her to throat him. He came while shamelessly fucking her mouth and she had nearly suffocated. It was disgusting. She was relieved when he said he had to leave.
She got out of the bath house and made her way to her room. Fortunately, she didn’t have any jobs for the next while. She was really too tired right now and didn’t think she would survive much more.
Hinata hugged herself as a wayward breeze passed by, chilling her. She shut her eyes as she recognized the familiar scent that the wind brought with it. Really, it was hard to miss.
“Naruto-kun...”
He had pushed her away, holding her back, pleading in his eyes. “Hinata-chan! No! Please...”
She was surprised and touched when he told her of his savings. Of course, she knew what “odd jobs” he was referring to. She knew he was trying to save up. She knew… because she’d started watching him subconsciously a long time ago. She didn’t know when it had first begun, but she found herself always watching him from a distance now. Because of this, she knew how hard he worked. She’d always admired him for that... but she had no idea how kind he was. He was friendly, yes, but...
“Are you not attracted to me?” she asked. She was as surprised as he was when she did.
“No, that’s not it,” he looked away, a faint blush forming. “I just... I might not be able to control myself.”
She smiled. He was too nice. “That’s okay, Naruto-kun. I think that’s just what happens normally.”
She was probably going to fall in love with him.
He looked at her, shock apparent in his eyes. She kissed him again, placing his arms around her neck and leaning in against him. He tasted much different from what Hinata imagined he would. She always thought kissing him would be like kissing a bowl of ramen... but it wasn’t. Well, not really. She shifted her position so she was facing him completely and was practically sitting on his lap. She smiled while kissing him as she felt his groin harden against her thigh. She knew this was just a natural reaction because he was a man and he was being cradled by a girl, but a part of her still cherished the fact that she was capable of eliciting such feelings from him.
Their kiss was gentle, experimenting. He didn’t open his mouth so she settled at just nipping at his lips repeatedly.
“Hi-Hinata-chan...”
She started moving against him, more to satisfy her own sudden desire than anything else. She had no idea what she was doing—she’d never done anything of this sort before. She was just going with the flow, riding the wave of her emotions. She was just following her animalistic instincts. Her actions came, and she moved without thinking... as if it was the most natural thing in the world. It was a strange feeling. It was new. It was... exciting.
Suddenly, Naruto moved below her. He bucked up, causing her to gasp at the alien pleasure she unexpectedly experienced. As she started registering feeling in places she never knew could feel, she suddenly felt embarrassed. She stopped kissing him to lean on his forehead, breathing hard. She’d never felt anything like it before. Was this... what it felt like to be... turned on? She moved against him again, experimentally. They both moaned.
As if he couldn’t help himself any longer, Naruto grabbed her shoulders and pushed her down, placing himself on top of her. She was startled and her gasp made that evident. He buried his head in her chest and whispered her name. She barely heard it, but it sounded a little like pleading. And also a bit like an apology. This surprised her, but she held him anyway. The next thing she knew, she was screaming. Pain had seized her in her lower body and her eyes opened wide in fear as she realized what Naruto was trying to do. She gripped his back harder as she tried to fight her tears from spilling over her lashes. It hurt. It really, really hurt. She was breathing hard, pain wracking every nerve and threatening to black her out. Naruto looked up and his originally glazed over eyes suddenly made way to wary, worried ones. Hinata realized that she had started crying and tears were sliding down her cheeks. She tried wiping them away and smiled. She nodded at Naruto who looked at her now as if he had done something terrible. She wanted to tell him that it was okay. She moved her hip up, allowing more of Naruto to enter her, causing him to moan and look away. She winced at the pain. It was less now, just a throbbing, dull pain... but she had felt something break and thought she felt hot liquid pouring down her leg. Later, she found out that it was blood.
After Naruto had come—he was careful enough to extract himself before that happened—he had gone to the bathroom to clean up. She sat on the couch where they had just made love... or rather, had sex, Hinata supposed would be the proper term... and tried to clean up the mess her blood left behind. She looked at the blood that was on her finger and wondered if sex was really just like that. She couldn’t imagine anyone paying to experience that. She supposed, with the way he had moaned and gripped her, that Naruto, at least, had enjoyed it... but... it had hurt.
Suddenly, she realized another towel was helping her clean up. She looked up to see Naruto diligently cleaning the floor. She made to tell him he didn’t need to when he shook his head. He pointed to the bathroom as if to tell her it was her turn, and continued his work. She watched him, a little saddened that he hadn’t said anything at all, not a word, then stood up and made for the bathroom. When she entered it, she waited for her eyes to adjust to the light. Outside, in the room, the lights were dimmed and the window shades were down. Compared to that, the light in the bathroom seemed almost blinding and a little clinical.
She looked at the mirror and saw her tear-streaked face, and realized how horrible she must have made Naruto feel. She frantically washed her face with ice cold water, making quite a mess in the small sink. Looking down, she found her yukata had been stained red in areas. The sight made her feel... peculiar. She felt strange, different. Something had definitely changed in her. She wished she knew what. An unexpected tear escaped from her eye and fell unto the sink. She traced the trail left behind with her right index finger and watched through the mirror.
Something was definitely different.
Somehow, she imagined having sex would’ve been much different. She had, of course, read about it on several occasions. And people paid to have it. Surely, it should have been more... enjoyable. And she was doing it with Naruto...
She paused.
“Naruto-kun...”
She embraced herself as a chill suddenly entered her body, even though the bathroom had no windows. What if Naruto hadn’t liked it? Why was he so silent? They had shared something... something intimate. And yet, he had remained... so silent. Was he disgusted with her? She was the one who forced herself on him, after all... and she was the one who ended up crying. She couldn’t stop the tears this time. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. She tried her best to soften her sobs and make sure Naruto didn’t hear anything. She’d cried in front of him enough for one day.
Why was she so affected by this? Why did it hurt so much? The physical pain had eventually ebbed away, but something else hurt much more now that the ordeal was over. She didn’t understand it.
In truth, she didn’t want to.
She stepped away from the sink, and upon seeing the mess that she was, continued washing her face once again with cold water. After making sure her pale face had returned, she smiled. Even though it had hurt, she was still glad she had done it with Naruto. Had she had her first time with anyone else, she didn’t know if she would’ve been able to stand it. Naruto had made it okay.
He had made it bearable.
She stepped out of the bathroom, and found the room empty.
“Naruto-kun...?”
Suddenly she was enveloped in an embrace from behind, and she smelt his familiar scent. She couldn’t quite describe it, but it was uniquely Naruto’s and from that moment on, she knew she would never, ever be able to forget that smell. She breathed in deep and smiled, his warmth enveloping her entire body and making everything in the world okay.
She loved him. She loved Naruto.
“I’m so sorry, Hinata-chan.”
Her eyes shot open. She made to turn around, but his arms kept her still. Why was he apologizing?
“I’m so sorry.”
With that, the warm body left her and all too quickly the door slid closed with a small click. She turned around and stared at the closed door, fresh tears sliding down her cheeks. Why had he apologized? She fell to her knees and sobbed anew, forgetting everything else and anyone else who might hear her. She cried her heart out, leaning on the ground, hiding her face in her arms. Why had he apologized? To Naruto, it was as if the two of them were forced to do it. To Naruto, he thought he was forcing her. She cried as she realized the torment Naruto must have been going through. How... guilty... Naruto must’ve felt. How much of a monster Naruto must think he was. But what wracked Hinata the most was the fact that to him, it was purely physical.
Why did he apologize?
She had wanted it. She had wanted him.
She... loved him.
After that incident, things were a little awkward around Naruto. She smiled as best as she could, but her heart would not leave her alone. And it hurt her to see the guilty face Naruto would always look at her with. When they bumped into each other in the hallways, he would try his best to smile, but she knew the smile was different. It wasn’t a genuine smile. She didn’t realize how much she’d been watching him this whole time till she realized all the small, little things Naruto had started doing differently. No one else seemed to have noticed it, only she did. Her heart ached as she realized it was her who had caused this change.
More than Naruto, she should’ve been the guilty one.
Hinata finally reached her room and after shutting her door she let herself fall on her bed with a sigh. Things with Naruto had improved over the years, and he seemed genial once again, but there was still something different about his eyes when he smiled... his smile, even though it was often displayed, never seemed to reach them. Not really, anyway. She wanted to get close to him, but she knew Naruto would open up to her if he wanted to. She couldn’t force herself on him... not again.
The knock on the door startled her out of her meditation and caused her to moan. Standing behind her door she said, a little loudly so whoever was on the other side could hear, “Who is it?” She didn’t… shouldn’t have any clients right now...
“Someone wants to meet you, Hinata-chan!” was the response she got from the other side. She recognized Ino-san’s voice. “And it’s someone pretty damn hot, too!”
Hinata groaned.
“Thank you, Ino-dono. I believe I can handle it from here,” a deep, even voice said coolly.
“Ooh! And he’s courteous too!” Ino-san giggled. “Have fun, the two of you.” Hinata could picture her winking.
Hinata let out another sigh. She wondered where Ino-san could have possibly gotten all her energy.
“When you’re done,” Ino-san continued, her voice fading. Hinata figured she had started walking away, probably backwards so she could keep looking at whoever it was she was talking to, “I’m free the rest of the afternoon.” And with another giggle, Ino-san’s voice disappeared. Hinata sighed and patted her hair, making sure she was presentable. She realized she didn’t have her make up on, but oh well... there was no time for that. Jiraiya-sama had said one of the worst things you can do to a guest was to make him wait. She slowly opened the door and looked up to smile at her unexpected client.
Her hands fell to her sides and she gasped.
“You look well, Hinata-sama.”
“Neji-niisan...”