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1-900-LONELY by Chibi

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Chapter notes: Written for the sasunaru100 loneliness challenge. I'm going to hell for this one, who's coming with me. Gyah! I can't believe I wrote this! *blushes and hides*

He turns on his television after the midnight hour and sees him. Him, who sits up on all fours in a bed covered in pillows and asks, are you lonely? He's wearing a pair of fox ears with nine tails; the color is like a fire that men with water hoses try to stop, but no matter how hard they try it just gets higher and hotter. He asks again, are you lonely, and the pillows around him hide any naughty bits that can't be shown on commercial television. Are you lonely? Yes.

Then don't hesitate, he purrs, and his eyes are like mirrors and he can feel his own horniness reflected back at him. It makes his breath stop somewhere in his throat and he's so turned on that he's able to drown out the bad boom chicka bow bow porn music in the background. He's been swept away by the blond hair, the blue eyes, the whisker marks and the constant purring of his voice. He asks again, are you lonely? Yes. So, call him. Call now.

I'm waiting for you, he whispers. And even if he's just an image on the late night television he still entices and seduces him and millions of others in need of the good kind of sex that makes the neighbors complain about noise. Are you lonely? Hell yes, and he doesn't hesitate any longer. 1-900-LONELY. 18 and older. Two dollars and ninety five cents a minute. He wonders if it's worth it but then he hears him, the fox boy from the commercials.

Hello?

And his voice is much better over the phone and it feels like liquid sex, something that should be bottled and rubbed all over the body like warm vanilla oils and honey.

"Hello," he says back.

What's your name?

"Sasuke."

Sasuke? Hi, my name is Naruto.

"Naruto?" And he wonders if that's really the boy's name but his body doesn't really care. His boxers have already become uncomfortable. "I like that name."

Thank you, he says, I like your name too, Sasuke, and Naruto has taken Sasuke's name and has wrapped it up in the finest of silks before speaking it. It makes Sasuke's skin tingle and before he can think about what he's doing he has a hand moving down to his boxers. Sasuke, he says, are you lonely tonight?

"Y-yes." And he wonders why he's stuttering, because Uchiha Sasuke does not stutter. And he wonders why he's stuttering, because it's not like he's a virgin to masturbation. Him and masturbation go way back; times when physical attraction was new and he had to run to a bathroom, times when he found those video tapes and magazines in his older brother's bedroom, times when his current ex-girlfriend was too goody two-shoes to ever dream of going "all the way" with anyone. Yeah, masturbation is not new, but Naruto's purr is new and before he knows it his hand is rubbing in between his legs.

Tell me Sasuke, Naruto says, what are you wearing? And Sasuke has a beautiful image of Naruto licking his lips as he talks, laying naked in that bed full of pillows, dressed like a fox. Common sense tells him that Naruto is probably some 40 something year old man with a big belly and a hairy face. He's probably sitting in an office eating greasy fries and chugging beer, completely ruining the image of the television Naruto, if that's even his real name.

But Naruto's voice makes Sasuke stick his middle finger up at common sense. Reality can kiss his ass.

"Just... a tank top and boxers."

Naruto moans and whispers, do you want to know what I'm wearing?

"Gods..."

Nothing, Naruto says, absolutely nothing. And Sasuke shudders, his hand sliding into his boxers. He spreads his legs apart, one foot dangling off the couch, both legs quivering as he touches and listens. He tries not to but he ends up whining into the phone, his breaths heavy and making the telephone moist. And he imagines that Naruto is doing the same, touching himself and shaking in the sea of pillows. He imagines himself crawling on top of the blond fox, imagines what those lips must taste like this late at night. Full, sweet, the lips of the boy who causes mind-blowing orgasms for a living, how many men have those lips teased with that voice? He imagines himself kissing those lips and it makes him touch himself more, a thick perfume of sex filling his living room.

"Naruto..."

S-Sasuke, and the way he stutters gives Sasuke images of the fox boy really, truly touching himself, legs open and feet kicking pillows out the bed from how wonderful it feels. And he imagines himself watching Naruto, moving his hands over his legs and up his body, watching and teasing, listening and touching. And the couch Sasuke lays on isn't big enough because he needs to toss and turn, twist his body as he brings himself closer.

"Naruto. N-Naruto..." His voice rumbles into the phone and he wonders if it caresses Naruto's body, seduces him and sexually harasses him. He wonders if his voice is doing the same thing Naruto's voice does. Tempting. Enchanting. And at some point he realizes that Naruto hasn't said anything but he can hear him breathing into the phone. Sasuke knows that most hotlines like this come with a load of oh baby and you're so hot, you turn me on, scripted words of seduction. But all Naruto is doing is breathing, shaky breaths, small whimpers. And Sasuke doesn't have to wonder, because he now knows that Naruto is touching himself too. He does wonder how many men Naruto has actually pleasured himself for and he likes to think that he is the only one.

"Touch yourself more, Naruto." And there is a gasp and a pause in Naruto's voice. Caught. Whatever script he might have been reading has been tossed away and at some point he has forgotten that he is supposed to do the seducing, not be the one who is seduced. There is an awkward, embarrassed sort of silence, but they both have an urgency to finish what has been started. The arousal between the two is painful when it's stopped so abruptly, so they both go back to touching and whining, nearly screaming and crying.

What are you doing to me, Naruto's voice is soft and barely there, choked full of pleasure, what are you doing to me, Sasuke?

"The same thing you do to me, to everyone you talk to." Sasuke's hand is moving faster and faster and he grips onto the phone with his other hand like a vice. He needs something better to hold onto but he can't lose track of Naruto's voice. But he's so close and no matter how tightly he's holding onto the phone it wants to slip out of his hand because he's going to have one of those orgasms that leaves tears in his eyes.

So he lets go.

The phone clatters to the ground and he cries out Naruto's name, his body shaking, and there's a strange satisfied gross feeling in his boxers and against his hand. He knows that both will need to be washed but at the moment any cleanliness can wait until morning. He lays back on the couch and closes his eyes, trying to remember the proper way to breathe.

Thank you for calling, Naruto says. Sasuke's eyes snap open and he reaches over to grab the phone, to say something, anything. But it's just like a dream and Naruto is gone too soon; the dial tone leaving a sharp buzz in Sasuke's ear. He sighs, clicks the phone off, and slowly allows reality to seep back into the room.

The phone bill is going to be a bitch to pay for the next couple of days. Weeks. Are you lonely?

... months, definitely months.

Owari

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