Mana jumped and sat up as fast as she could surveying the situation. Eiju was huffing heavily with his face sweating and looking like all of his blood gathered in his cheeks to the point where his head would soon explode. His blood vessels were shot out and twitching on his forehead and black circles around his eyes made the young man look troubling.
“What happened? Is the kid OK? Is Hisako OK?” Mana yelled out, she knew little of what happened since her body gave in. The magician examined her body and looked surprised both by the fact that she was alive and that she was completely healed, not a single bruise or scratch remained on her body as if her life was just reset like a buggy computer.
Kiyomi silently thanked the Quack and then went up to Mana helping the girl get up. “Yeah, the kid is out, he attacked us when we entered so the Quack had to knock him out, Hisako is also alive, unfortunately, you clocked her head into the wall and caused a major concussion so she shouldn’t be in fighting condition for a while…”
Mana felt her body around, she stretched her neck, her back and her arms, something felt a little off. She felt weaker, maybe it was just the result of her resurrection? Was it even a resurrection, was she ever truly dead? Her wounds were sure as hell lethal and she had that weird dream about talking to some weird cosmic entity inside her own body or something… Dying was weird.
“So how come I’m still alive, what did you guys do? Please tell me none of you sold your souls away or something!” Mana yelled out energetically trying to understand why she had that weird cranky feeling inside. It felt almost like she wasn’t in control of her body, like her soul was just placed in a shell, like a driver placed in a car before being taught how to drive.
Kiyomi hugged Eiju and squeezed him hard pressing him to her chest. “The Quack used some forbidden kinjutsu to bring you back, he said he may have died but he doesn’t look dead to me, maybe everything’s gonna be alright for once?!” she looked really happy, maybe a little bit too invested in Eiju’s life.
“Yeah, name’s Eiju, pleased to be pressed to your bosom, lovely…” the silent and weak voice of the young man who apparently risked his life for Mana’s echoed.
“He must really like Kiyomi…” Mana wondered to herself observing that scene. She never saw any signs of possible attraction between those two, maybe it all happened while she was out, maybe it happened while the Quack was treating her. It was strange how the world worked, a young woman so hateful towards rogues finds possible warm feelings towards a rogue whose main job is keeping rogues alive for monetary gain. A man who buys and sells life quite literally. “I mean last time we spoke, Eiju didn’t really like me that much, he’d only risk his life for his own good, guess I can add Kiyomi’s approval to the list now…”
“Say… Magician girl… You got anything to drink in that weird hat seal of yours?” the man uttered looking at Mana with his weak and sad eyes.
“Yeah, I think I’ve got some canned green tea in there somewhere…” Mana replied with a smile and took her hat off the ground placing one hand on the bottom of it and activating a hand seal with the other.
“Oh, lovely, that’s my second favorite thing to drink, right after unidentified kind of booze you find in bottles…” Eiju joked showing that he was still able to smile and that his bad sense of humor was still intact, even if it did come through effort and moderate amounts of pain.
The magician waited for a while and then looked at the hat, she activated the hand seal again and again, waiting for a while but nothing happened. It wasn’t that she didn’t have any chakra, if that was the case she’d felt physical exhaustion and passed out or something, this was different, this was… Nothing!
“Yeah, take your time, lovely, I mean it’s not like I’m dying here or anything…” Eiju laughed out in a manner of laugh that sounded more like a cough before giving a weak smile.
Kiyomi looked at the magician angrily, “Mana, stop playing around, this isn’t the time for your magic tricks… Just give him the tea and let’s go home” she looked really defensive for her friend, whatever happened between the two must’ve bonded them more than Mana had hoped.
“I’m… I’m not playing… I just… I can’t do it” Mana stood there looking at her hat horrified by the realization of just what she was feeling inside. She couldn’t feel her chakra flow at all. Usually when one learned to mold their chakra they felt it all the time, it was like feeling that great overflowing sensation of strength, that’s why using chakra felt so horrifying when large quantities of that strength disappeared, now there was none at all.
“Wait… What?” Kiyomi’s eyes shot wide open as she suddenly started looking really confused. It was that look in one’s eyes when they officially lost the track of what was going around them.
“Shit… So that’s what it was back then…” Eiju’s face suddenly paled up displaying signs that his fever must’ve passed.
“Back then?” Mana looked at the man curiously.
“Please tell me this isn’t your way of avenging her losing your coat!” Kiyomi looked at Eiju playfully still thinking this was some kind of a game when Mana started to freak out internally.
“No way, back when I used my diagnosis technique on her I felt her chakra network going completely bonkers. Like… I don’t know what to compare it to. You must’ve abused your chakra augmentation and the excess chakra you’ve forced to flow tore your network apart… I’m sorry…” Eiju looked at Mana, straight into her eyes with that sorry look that made the magician feel like he felt sorrier for her than he did for himself nearly dying.
Mana’s hands started shaking, her voice started trembling and she almost started losing it. Her eyes started feeling wet and she felt like she was on the verge of a breakdown. To her the gift of chakra control was everything, it was the sign that she was chosen by whatever magical force oversaw the Universe that she was meant to be a hero. That she was meant to protect the people around her who did not have that gift. Now she had that gift taken away from her, no, she squandered it by herself! She herself rubbed that gift back into the cosmic entity’s, that granted it in the first place, face as if it meant nothing to her when in fact it meant the whole world to her. Her path as a hero was over, she was now just a clanless girl without a nindo, without an ideal. She was officially nothing now. Her existence was meaningless now.
“How long? For how long did I lose it!?” Mana yelled out the question louder than she’d have liked it.
Eiju shook his head, he looked like he was about to slip into a deep sleep at any moment but Kiyomi knew perfectly what that sleep would’ve meant and kept the young man awake. “I don’t know, it happens to young inexperienced blokes a lot, I’ve never seen them recover honestly but it might be possible. I’d need a more detailed diagnosis to know for sure…”
Mana screamed out into the air falling down onto her knees and slammed her hand into the floor angrily. She heard a loud thud and felt the pain flowing through that puny knuckle of hers, no bodily instinct to enhance her strength, no instinct to protect her hand from breaking needlessly anymore. She only managed to keep her knuckle intact because her punch was so weak.
Kiyomi stood up and carefully placed Eiju’s head on her wrapped zip-up top, she tried to walk up closer to Mana but she stopped halfway seeing how freaked out the magician was.
“Calm down… It may be temporary, Eiju did say that it’s possible, right? I mean… He used a forbidden technique no one used for this kind of thing before, maybe it’s a secondary effect or something… We don’t know anything about anything at the moment, calm down. Maybe you’ll still get it back…”
Mana’s distress changed phases from an aggressive one to feeling miserable. Her violent outrage stopped and she just started weeping on her knees.
“Don’t you realize what it means? My dream, my path… It’s all over. I have nothing now. I lost everything that I was, my entire life I wanted to use this gift I was given to protect the people who didn’t have the same gift and now… Now I’m…” Kiyomi carefully walked up to Mana and hugged the girl softly.
“Ummm, not that I’m complaining or anything, blondie, but maybe you could spare a hug or two for me? I mean I did risk my life after all here…” Quack’s voice echoed when suddenly it was interrupted.
“Oh just fucking can it!” Hisako’s rude tone interrupted the man’s desire for more attention. Kiyomi looked at the kneeling assassin and lunged at the Yoruma with a punch which the assassin avoided by stepping sideways but then the nausea caught up with the raven haired woman and she threw up to the side. Luckily the place was too dark for the overly disgusting details to be seen.
“How dare you even talk to us after nearly killing Mana!” Kiyomi yelled out stopping her assault because she realized that at this point attacking the Yoruma was like kicking a downed disabled person. The slightest quick movement sent the woman into a vomiting frenzy from the dizziness that her head injury brought up, it’d pass in a couple of days due to the natural out of combat regenerative factor that ninja had but right now she was at her weakest.
“Actually… Yeah… I did get hotheaded and I’m thankful that the bitch saved my integrity and all, I still think that I should’ve killed that brat but at least now we’ll complete that mission, idol bitch went through hell to save him, guess I’ll respect that for now. Also, as payback, I’ll save your integrity too, Ms. Royalpants” Hisako spoke out in a weak tone that had nausea written all over it.
“Wait… Me?” Kiyomi wondered confused.
“Yeah, why do you think the Quack had this sudden change of heart? Why do you think he healed idol-bitch?” Hisako mumbled out “It’s not because he gave a crap if she lived or died, that much he already established, I could hear everything you two spoke about I was just too sick to intervene… It was sure as hell not because he cared about you or your feelings, you’re just another blonde bimbo to him, one like hundreds of others he had over the years living free like a rogue should”
Eiju scratched his forehead, as his fingers touched his face the spots where they passed through reactivated the blood flow returning the brief red into his face for just a moment before he paled out again. “I’d appreciate if one of you ladies kicked her in the face, she’s delirious and has no idea what she’s talking about…” he spilled out. “That’s my official diagnosis and you know I’m right because I said a big word like “diagnosis”…” the man added.
Hisako kept talking ignoring the Quack entirely. “He did it all because of himself, because he suddenly got the idea in his mind of how to make his life all better. He’s a selfish bastard, he always was and always will be…”
“What are you talking about?” Mana joined in on the conversation finally returning back to life only for the following further disappointment in mankind.
“Oh come on! All this time he was taking POISON, people! And then so conveniently there’s a technique he can use that supposedly kills him but as he does so he establishes himself as a savior in shining fucking armor and gives you two bitches a fancy story to tell the Hokage that’ll finally rehabilitate him in the eyes of the village. His stupid regenerative tissue thing, that’s what died, this fucking genius over here knew all along he’d be able to cure himself of that fucking thing, he just waited for a good chance to do it… Sure, I’m a fucking cunt for nearly killing idol-bitch, but at least I didn’t use her distress for my own cure making me look like a fucking hero… Sure, I’m a messed up scum of society but at least I own it!” Hisako turned to the side nearly hurling up but barely managing to keep it down.
Kiyomi’s head lowered down, her long blonde hair fell down on her shoulders and all over her face before she turned her surprised face back at Eiju. “So that’s why you didn’t fight that hard when we voted for sieging the bunker when you were out of chakra… Part of you wanted it to happen, you wanted one of us to get killed so you could make the “heroic sacrifice” and cure yourself in the process…”
“What do you guys care why he did it?” Mana’s weak voice interrupted the three, the girl’s eyes were still staring lifelessly into the ground, the girl was broken inside, still grieving her loss of chakra and wandering what was even the point of her miserable life at that moment if all meaning in it was squandered away.
“I mean… He still saved me… Or at least what’s left of me. I’m still thankful for it, I’m sure my parents will personally try to get him rehabilitated and legitimized after we bring him back. What does it matter if he had a selfish motive for all of this?” Mana mumbled back.
Hisako jumped back on her feet and stumbled briefly before walking up to Mana and grabbing her by the girl’s hair, lifting her face up so that the eyes of the two met.
“You fucking tool! Don’t you get it? He wanted us to fight in these conditions! He wanted for one of us to die, he let us fight it out purposefully, all this time he wanted you or me, or anyone else to die, if he didn’t want to cure himself so fucking much we wouldn’t have fought, you wouldn’t have half-died and I wouldn’t feel like there’s a shit goblin making more shit goblin babies in my fucking throat making me try and chuck em out of there! He may have brought you back, but your loss of chakra and your supposed death is on him. When he met us, I bet his only goal was to cure himself and legitimize using us”
Hisako let go of Mana letting her body weightlessly slam down on her knees and continue to lifelessly drift away into depression.
„Wait, how do you know about Eiju’s regenerative tissue and all that stuff? Did he tell his story to you?” Kiyomi wondered, she needed some filler questions to help her realize that she may have been played and Yamanaka Kiyomi didn’t like to be played with.
“He didn’t tell me, that fucking tissue healing him from me cutting him down did… Back when those fucktards wanted to off me in the forest, when we first met” Hisako quietly replied.
“One thing I still don’t get though, why wait for us? Why not just play the same game with some mercenary? I mean surely you’ve seen a bunch of dying mercs during your time, right? Why not do the whole thing on them years back? You’d have even gotten a promotion or something, you’d have been old Hachi’s best friend for saving a dying guy’s hide…” Hisako asked closing in on Eiju, carefully sitting the Quack back up.
“Because it wouldn’t have been enough, lovely…” Eiju quietly replied and sighed after his plan came out into public. “I mean if I just healed some bloke I’d still be a mercenary Quack without a regenerative tissue keeping me alive, had I done that I’d have died when you went barmy on all those mercs in the forest, life of a merc is tough, lovely, people die all the time. I needed something more, I needed to do it when I had a clear chance of leaving this life behind, a guarantee that I’m not ridding my “get out of the shitter for free” card for nothing…”
Kiyomi walked up and lifted Eiju up by the collar of his shirt and slapped him strong enough to knock his eyebrows off. Blood shot out from the weakened mouth of the Quack and he spat out a tooth. “So that’s how it feels like, losing a tooth for good…” Eiju smiled half-heartedly.
“For how long did you have this plan to use us? How long ahead did you plan this?” the Yamanaka angrily grunted out ready to slap all of the Quack’s teeth out if he answered not how she would’ve liked him to.
“Eh, not too long actually… I had the idea the whole time but that the timing was right… That only popped to me when we were talking over Mana’s soon-to-be corpse… I figured I’d need to do it at some point but I never planned or played you three, I swear. I needed a cure, you don’t know what it’s like living with that inside you…” the man replied, Kiyomi let go of him and let him slip down on his bottom.
“Oh, poor you, being able to regenerate from certain death, survive what should’ve killed you… What a curse!” the Yamanaka shouted out angrily, looking at the Quack with a condescending look and turning back at Mana.
“You decide what we do to him, he wronged you the most… He agreed to us coming here unprepared too easily, he must’ve known one of us was going to die, he is at least partially responsible for you losing your gift, even if he did bring you back, he only did it for his own selfish hide…” the blonde switched between Mana and the Quack.
Mana stood up and turned around, slowly starting to make her way towards a staircase leading up. “What does it matter? He may be a selfish ass who only looks out for himself but he can be useful to the village, Quacks know a whole bunch of weird medical techniques and he doesn’t listen to rules that restrict medical ninja so he can actually save more lives that way… At least he’s still useful to someone…” the magician lowered her head and slowly disappeared into the shade. Kiyomi wanted to go after Mana but a hand on her shoulder stopped her, Hisako shook her head slowly, the only way that let the contents of her stomach stay where they were.
“The kid finally realized there’s no such thing as a hero, you’re not a hero, you’d snap a rogue’s neck if you got your hands around their neck, I’m a killer, born and raised. She just found out that this guy ain’t no hero either, the realization that a man who saves one’s life is only doing it for his own selfish gain is a horrible one. The worst thing of all “ without her chakra control, she’s not a hero either, don’t make it even worse. It’s up to her to decide what she wants to do with her life now…”
Kiyomi grabbed the Quack by the collar and slowly dragged him to the staircase, she planned to drag him around for as long as he couldn’t walk for himself. The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a weird slimy green mass for Hisako, “Here, this ought to help your nausea, I didn’t know if you were conscious before so I didn’t give this earlier, it won’t taste good but it should help for a while before your body fixes it up…” he handed the handful of goo to Hisako who swallowed it without question.
The assassin pouted and kneeled as if she was going to throw up again but then she stood up and relaxed, surprised she looked at the Quack somewhat relieved. “What’s it made of? It actually helped?”
“The seaweed inside the stomachs of ninja toads…” the Quack replied only for Hisako to throw up almost instantly. Kiyomi looked at the pathetic man she was dragging by her side, a man she was ready to swear eternal love to only a couple of minutes earlier, a man whose gut she now despised and whom she wanted to murder on top of a mountain so that the whole world could see her do it.
“Ey, this ain’t my pill, that one’s psychosomatic…” Eiju shrugged with a smug smile. Kiyomi fought the desire to beat his teeth in but Mana was right in some ways, medical ninja, especially as experienced and skilled as Eiju were needed around the village. She just wanted that maybe the magician wouldn’t have put it the way she did and wouldn’t have gotten so down because of it, Mana was just walking in front of the entire party, leading the way yet looking the most dead inside out of all of them…
Mana closed her eyes for a moment just so the tears on her face weren’t evident, she had never felt useless in her life before. Weak, wrong “ sure. But those times were different, then she still had hope of growing stronger, of doing things better the next time. This time was different, her life felt completely empty, she had nothing inside of her that still made her into what she was when she left. She’d probably still be able to retain some of her stage magician self, she’d be slower, less skilled since she lost her chakra control and she’d need training to regain one tenth of her previous skill and speed. Still, what’s the point of doing that when half of her essence was literally torn away.
Feeling useless, having one’s purpose completely lost and never to be found, was the worst thing ever. Who could’ve thought that maybe dying would’ve been the better way. This was a dark thought but how else was one supposed to feel after knowing that their life was a result of someone’s selfish desires and that she wasn’t even herself and would never be herself again. In a way she was glad that she cured Eiju’s sickness and that he’d never need to drink poison again, also she made someone else a hero, even if just for a moment, even if it was for all the most selfish reasons…
Mana turned back and looked at the powerless Eiju being dragged around by his collar like a ragdoll. “Eiju… Now that your regenerative tissue is gone, won’t you die of that genetic disease of your mother’s?” she asked.
Kiyomi and Hisako looked at the Quack surprised, they must’ve not known about that detail. Hisako almost dropped the “hostage” that she was carrying on her shoulder, now that her nausea was a bit calmer. Eiju smiled and shrugged.
“It can be managed by medical ninja, adults can survive with it for five or ten years maybe… Trust me, kid, dying is better than some sorts of living…” he replied with that arrogant tone he always used.
“No. Life is always better than dying…” Mana replied instinctively.
Quack smiled turning his head to look her straight in the eyes, making her feel almost like he looked right into her soul as they leaved the bunker and sunlight took over their eyes, making them need some time to recover.
“Is it though? Of all people, right now, do you truly believe that?” he asked with that same smug smile.
Mana covered her face with a bunch of her messy hair to hide her tears. How. How could someone cripple a person so much with just a couple of words? How could someone ruin someone’s entire life, shake all of their ideals with just one action? Even more importantly, how does one still go on when all that they are is lost forever…
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