I get home and eat dinner alone. And by the time I do everything that needed to be done, Kakashi is still not home. It makes me worry about Sakura. She looked serious, but not like an emergency, it was casual. I was already in bed when Kakashi arrives, I turn my back to the door, not wanting him to see that I am still awake. I hear my bedroom door open, and then it closes. I can finally sleep tonight knowing he was just on the other side of the wall. Tomorrow Kakashi will train with me, and then there will be one less day before the challenge. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous at all. These nerves were eating me when I had the time to think about them. I’d rather work and keep my mind off of things.
“You know if you’re so worried about weak, little Kiyoko, I can always lend you my power during the match,” the beast says. I feel him bolden in the back of my mind, it finally has woken from its slumber. Its been a while since he last spoke, but I never forget he there. I could never forget that there is a monster in me. Always trying to overtake me, like he was trying to do now.
“I don’t need to rely on your power. I’m not so little and stupid anymore. I know what you’re trying to do” I think back. I see myself in my head, standing in front of the cage. All I see is his wide smile. Its teeth are sharp, ready to tear at my flesh, at anyone’s flesh.
“What do you mean little Kiyoko? I’m just trying to pay my share, I am living in your body after all,” he says with mockery in his voice. He loves to irritate me.
“Stop calling my little. I’m not the small child I once was.”
“But you are. Compared to my body, you’re a miniscule. You are small compared to me, you’re power is nothing without me. If I didn’t live in you, then your dream of being a jounin would have never made it this far. I’m being too generous, I’m offended you think of me in those manipulative ways,” the monster says seriously, but he ends up laughing. His words no longer had the effect on me like they once did. I was no longer the small child who was afraid of herself. I control him, I control my body. I am strong, and no monster will ever take advantage of my weakness again. I no longer fear people, I have grown to accept others. To accept their company in exchange for mine.
“I’m always watching.” The monster hides itself in the darkness of my mind. No longer interacting, and finally letting me rest my mind and eyes.
The next few days past in a blur. Kakashi and Yamato were given missions to go to, only five days remained before the final challenge. It was lonely in the evening when Kakashi was gone, but he was only away for two days. While he was away I would usually work myself to the bone, exhaust myself and get home late. I didn’t like being in the house alone, it’s silence didn’t feel right. By the time I would get home I would be too tired to think about the emptiness and fell right into sleep. The floors would creak, and the frogs were croaking late into the night. I would be awaken by the chirping of the birds who lived right outside my window. These few noises rocked me to sleep when I was left alone.
When two days came before the challenge Yamato couldn’t train with me, he was sent on another mission. I realized he was a busy ninja and to my fortune Kakashi was asked to keep guard during the exam. He would be there, and that was enough support.
“Just two days away and I craved your cooking.” I set a bowl of fried rice in front of him before fetching the grilled fish from the stove. I wasn’t fond of fish, I didn’t like the smell or the taste, but Kakashi loved it. I decided to cook it tonight, like a welcome home dinner. I wonder when will I go on my first mission? What rank would it be?
“Well I cooked enough to feed, six, eat up because that fish is all for you.”
“So tomorrow is the last day of training before the exam. Overworking yourself the day before the exam is tiring. So no training the day after tomorrow.” Kakashi picks his chopsticks, beginning with the fish. I nod, I suppose a day of relaxation is due, it’ll help clear my head, and let me sleep that night. Because I couldn’t fight against the two at the same time, I doubted my skills. Would I be good enough to defeat my opponent?
By the end of dinner, Kakashi has eaten half of the servings, and he helps me clean afterwards.
“You’ve got nothing to worry about. After everything you’ve done to prepare yourself, I know you’ll win. And if for some reason you do not, there is always next year. Failure isn’t something you should be afraid of.” Kakashi dries his hands before he heads to the shower. I walk to the living room, thinking of different strategies for the day after tomorrow. I take a deep breath, it really did go quickly. Just one month ago I was in the hospital with a broken wrist and leg. Just finding out my half sister was a wood user, and that I actually had a half sister to begin with. Just finding out my father would go to the extreme to sacrifice his own daughter to capture me. I knew my father was horrible already, I didn’t find that out one month ago.
And not too long ago I was still sleeping under the stars, still afraid of my own strength. Afraid of people. So much has changed in such a short period, it feels like a dream. I pinch myself, testing my theory. I was very much awake. I was fortunate for someone to have called out to me, to have woken me from my endless nightmare. I wonder how many have been left unnoticed, and left alone for their time here.
I remember walking without a destination, the empty feeling of not belonging anywhere. The fear of getting near the villagers, afraid they would harm me, but terrified that I would harm them instead. I remember the feeling of guilt as I recall moments in my life that I killed. I was not living, I was a walking corpse. And now I think of how devastating my life would be if I continued down that path. I wouldn’t have the people I have now. I wouldn’t feel this fullness inside me. My heart no longer had so many holes, the people here are filling them, one by one. I love what this village has down to me,it's changed me in more ways than one.
I see the old couples down the streets everyday, and I imagine my appearance at my ripe age. I try to think about my future, but its difficult since everything around me is uncertain. I can live this way for the rest of my life, and I would still be content. Uncertainty isn’t as bad as fear. I stare at my hands in front of me, they no longer look so dirty to me. I no longer see the blood on my fingers, nor do I smell the copper in the air. Kakashi comes into the living room, sitting on the other sofa, clearly tired from the mission. He doesn’t say anything, and I assume he’s asleep. I wonder what kind of mission he went on? I hope after I become a chunin will I be sent on many missions.
Watching him sleep away, makes my eyes feel heavy, and soon enough I am sleeping as well. I wake up the next morning with a blanket over my shoulder. Today I will work extra hard, i was going to make my skills better in just a few hours. That was my goal. And then the day after tomorrow will decide my fate, if my dream was going to be accomplished or not.
I forget about breakfast and make my way to the field. Beginning with shuriken throwing and then ninjutsu. It wasn’t much of a difference life the past few days, I had nothing new to work so, I’ve refined my few techniques the their peak.
I see a few other bodies far from my view, they too were pushing until the last minute. There are people out there that are a lot like me, in many ways. By midday the heatless sun settled high in the sky. It brought no warmth to my sweaty body. It was a winter’s sun, a new sun will arrive with the new year. The air was icy cold, making my sweat cold and sticky. I wish I brought a towel to wipe it off of my face. It was then that I noticed I was hungry. I started to head back, but the eerie feeling inside me awakens. My hair stands on the back of my neck, I rush to get a kunai out of my pouch, and turn around. My eyes scan the horizon, no one was there, not that I can see. Perhaps they were hiding deep in the forest, if I don’t go, I don’t think I will rest easy. I enhance my kunai with chakra and walk deeper into the forest. The closer I get to the center, the closer I am to this feeling of overwhelming chakra. I stop in front of a wide tree, a bird, larger than a regular one sits on the highest branch. It is a white owl, it looks like one. but its size is unusual. What is an owl doing here, in the middle of the day.
“Oh hello.” It says. I feel my mouth open a little, it talks. It looks down, a mischievous look in its caramel eyes. A few brown feather weaved into her body. It was a beautiful bird, but I thought they were nocturnal? It must be a summoning animal if it can talk. Its better to leave now before it’s owner makes it attack me. I turn to get out of the dense forest, but even if I want to step over the tree’s roots, another tree is right there. It was becoming endless, the trees were closer together here than the group challenges. I turn to see the owl still looking at me, I shake my head, no it can’t do that. It can’t put me under a genjutsu. I just need to find my way back in the direction I came.
“You need help getting out of here? Looks like you’re going in circles,” it says. Its voice is gentle, very feminine. The owl must be female. I ignore her, I make my way through the maze of trees, each step taking me farther away from the owl. It was three in the afternoon when I finally make it to the apartment. My mind and body were exhausted. The owl was still fresh in my mind, why was she here? Why did she catch my senses? Her chakra is different. Its not like human’s, maybe its animal chakra, or something. I wouldn’t know, I don’t summon animals just yet.
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Chapter notes: Here's another chapter. Hope you like it.
Chapter end notes: Leave any feedback, or thoughts on the story so far. Remember this owl, it'll become an important character later in the story.
Until Next Chapter!!!!