I sat there in front of Ryuu. My small legs were crossed in front of me. What am I doing in this kid body of mine. How the hell is this a process of showing me my true intentions? There are two meaning to intentions. One being an aim of plan, and the other being a healing process for wounds. Which one of the two is this process going to do?
“So is this whole process going to be just you sitting there? How are we supposed to get out of this phase?” Ryuu finally asked.
I stood up and stretched my arms. In the body that I am in now, I say I would be about eight years old. I was wearing the clothes before I ran away when I was ten. This body still had a seal intact to keep the beast in. Right now, though, Ryuu was free and roaming in my body. My body has changed and grown, but so has my mind.
“You know what isn’t fair. I get stuck in my kid body, but you don’t. I want to see baby Ryuu.”
“Ha, Ha. keep dreaming. I’ve been stuck in this phase of my life for years. I stopped growing for a while. I’ve outlived millions of lives.”
“Don’t you think its about time I see all of you? I haven’t even seen your face, but you’re eyes are unforgettably fierce.”
“Forget it kid. No one has seen me for thousands of years, and I want to keep it that way. If you see me then you’ll begin to ask questions. And I know once I tell you the answers to your questions, you’re mind will surely become corrupt. No one can stand the temptation of the power of knowledge. You’ve almost fell into it at the Library of Lives. You will surely fall into my power.”
“Like this, we’ll never be able to master the beast mode. I have to learn it to save the world. Don’t be the reason this world ends. Whatever is coming, we both know that it will change everyone’s lives.”
“Hnn, from the moment I was put into that body of yours, I knew it was going to be different. You’re the first jinchuuriki for my power since the old man thousands of years ago. It feels very familiar, your body and his.”
“What? What is that supposed to mean?” I asked. He never spoke to me in simple terms or in a simple way.
“It means that your chakra and his are similar. That’s all,” he said.
“Who was he? Was he the sage of six paths?”I said before thinking. That name, and the myth that accompanied it. How were were similar? He must have been Ryuu’s jinchuuriki before me. My father knows about him, doesn’t he? They always said that he wasn’t true, but Ryuu may hold the answers to a lot of the world’s questions.
“He has many names, but yes that is one of them.” He said quietly. “I’m not going to answer anymore questions. You don’t need to know this. I’m certain that if you do, you’ll never be the same again. No one will.”
“Hmph, you actually have a thoughtful and kind heart Ryuu. Thinking about me and the consequences. He was the one that made me forgive my father. Without him, I doubt I would have accepted my father back into my life.
“If you think that that decision is the best for me, then I won’t ask anymore. I’ll trust your judgement.”
“There are people far worst than your father out there. How will you approach forgiveness for them?”
I looked up and saw nothing but the darkness inside my head. I have always known that there were people worse than my father. Worse than me. Those have been wandering in the darkness for most of their lives. They've lost their hope and light that once guided them back to humanity. Those people have done things so unspeakable. How could anyone forgive those kind of people.
“Everyone has a reason for becoming their darkest person. My father became the way he was because he saw the love his life die. He was devastated and he thought he had nothing in the world worth living for. But I have forgiven him and look how his world has changed. I have accepted his mistakes.”
“They have simply lost their light back to humanity. If I could, I would like to become that light for them. That way they realize their mistakes and be forgiven. Forgiveness isn't’t as hard as it seems. The hardest part is admitting your mistakes,” I say to Ryuu.
“You think its that easy huh. Well lets see. Would you forgive Itachi, the man that killed his entire tribe, just because he wanted to test the abilities of his Sharingan? Do you think Sasuke will be able to forgive him?”
“You see I’m not Sasuke, and I don’t know the true reason why Itachi killed his clan. I don’t believe it was simply to test his abilities. No one is ever that shallow and evil. Not without a reason. I can’t forgive without knowing the reason. Itachi must have had trouble killing his family. Its peculiar, the day he visited me at home, he asked me if Sasuke would forgive him. He still carried that in his conscious everyday. He still thinks about Sasuke and that made me realize that even Itachi has a guilty conscious and hoped for forgiveness.”
“I mean you’ve forgiven humans, have you not? If you didn’t then we wouldn’t be sitting here. You know out of the two of us, I think you’ve changed the most.”
I saw Ryuu roll his eyes. He wasn’t so harsh to approach anymore, I don’t know when it happened but he has become friendlier.
“Will you be able to forgive someone who has harmed your loved ones?”
“And why would that happen? I’m going to protect my loved ones, I know I can.”
“I’ve already told you that you can’t protect everyone. Its a hypothetical question. What if one day Kakashi doesn’t return from a mission, or if something happens to Eri? Will you be able to forgive the people that harmed them?
“It won’t happen. Why are we talking about this? Nothing is going to happen to them.” I was suddenly beginning to feel angry with Ryuu. Why was he saying those things. It won’t happen. Kakashi is Kakashi and he won’t just disappear. And Eri is strong and a mother. She won’t be harmed.
“But will you forgive them?” Ryuu pried more. Forgive someone for hurting my loved ones? How could I possibly do that? If Kakashi di- died, then how could I possibly forgive the person who took him away from me.
“What kind of question is that?”
“You see, we just talked about others forgiving others. But when it involves your loved ones, you’re blinded by your anger and personal feelings. You’re no different than the rest, so why should they forgive others for something you wouldn’t. Like you said, everyone has a reason that they became their darkest person,” Ryuu pointed out. i looked into the darkness where he hid. He was right though. And I hated him for being right. I was nothing more than a hypocrite saying that forgiveness will bring peace, but I don’t have the power in my to forgive others who could harm my close friends and family.
“Do you think the Moon Village has forgive you? We’ve done the same things you’re not able to forgive, so why should they forgive you. I know most of that was my fault though, but you had to pay the consequences. You shouldn’t advertise your ideals without believing them yourself. There is nothing more frustrating than that.” Ryuu huffed. He must have had something happen to him in the past that made this issue so touchy for him. He was easily riled up when we talked about peace and understanding one another.
“We can’t forgive one another if we haven't walked in their shoes.But its impossible for millions to walk the same path. How could peace come to the world then?”
“Peace doesn’t have to come to everyone. As long as good is greater than bad. Peace will always win chaos as long as the majority of the world believes it. There is no such thing as a perfect world.” Ryuu mumbled. I smiled a bit, who would have known that Ryuu, the tailed beast in me, was so wise. He is perhaps the best teacher for me.
“Well then, I guess I would have an answer when the time is right. For now I should prepare myself to answer that question,” I said as I ended the conversation. I didn’t want to talk about the possibility of Kakashi dying. I already knew it was high, he was a well known ninja after all. But because he was well known, it meant he wasn’t easy to get rid of. Kakashi will live a long life, I know it, because I will be besides him.
I heard loud and slow clapping. I turned to my left and saw myself clapping. It was the current me, not the child body I was stuck in at the moment. Why was I there like that? Was this another jutsu to cause me pain? Is the the test to reveal my true intentions? I became tense as I saw my older self come closer. My older self smiled and patted my head. She looked at the shadows were Ryuu hid and watched.
“You know, later when we truly understand one another. You will be able to roam free. Well I hope you can,” my older self said to Ryuu.
“If we only knew these thought when we were younger, than we wouldn’t have suffered so much. It is impossible to make peace with everyone, but the world we want is hard to obtain. As long as you don’t give up hope, then it will come. In the future you’ll know the answer to peace,” The current me smiled and hugged me. I began to grow in size, as if I was absorbing the energy of the other me hugging me. The child me grew and became the current me that was hugging me.
Did I just take the life of my self conscious? I thought we were going to fight, but we became one. I didn’t feel any different? Was it supposed to make a physical or mental difference? Perhaps I can’t feel it right now. The darkness that surrounded my subconscious began to break away in pieces. As is someone from the outside was breaking into this space. The rays of light brought a new environment to this state of my mind. The shadows Ryuu hid in began to withdraw and I soon saw the tailed beast that desperately tried to hide itself from me.
For the first time in my life, I saw Ryuu. All of him. He was like a black dragon, but furry. He had a couple of front claws like a scorpion, but he resembled a lot like a dragon. He hid his face from me with a couple tails. I counted each on. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. Ten tails. Ryuu had ten tails.
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Chapter notes: Its been almost a month since I updated, and I'm sorry, but it was difficult to write this chapter. Its a lot of thinking and talking. But I did it. And I hope you enjoy reading it. Thank you for waiting. I really appreciate it.
Chapter end notes: THANK YOU for reading. I will get on the next chapter right now!! Let me know what you think. Hahaha.
I wanted to make it longer, but I didn't want to make readers wait. So its bit short, but I will get going on the nest chapter quickly.
Until Next Time!!