There was an awkward silence before Ume clear her throat. Her eyes stopped a little longer when she saw the sharingan. She must have questions for him too.
“I’ll start from the beginning then,” She trails off a little bit.
“It all began when you were just turned threes years old. You were such a playful toddler, always finding something to topple over and get in your mouth. I had to be careful of leaving small items around. I was happy with being a mother. Then your father went of missions almost every single day, I barely saw him.
I loved your father Kakashi. I did, but he was never home. I felt like I was a single mother, and it was difficult to do everything on my own. A friend of mine began to visit me, and we developed an... intimate relationship. I couldn’t stay faithful to your father. I’m sorry.”
“You cheated on him?” Kakashi angrily said. I held his fist, he was trembling. Ume lowered her head and continued.
“I soon found out that I was pregnant again. Your father found out that I was having an affair, and we both stopped talking to each other one day. My partner decided that I wouldn’t be welcomed here in the Leaf Village once the word got out that I was carrying his child. We left the Leaf village and settle in the Stone village. It was so difficult to leave you with your father Kakashi. I wanted to take me with you but I didn’t know anything about the Stone Village. I knew you had a brighter future here. And I couldn’t leave anything to your father, I couldn’t take you away from him either. You are his replica after all. You two look so much alike. I suppose your father told you that I died, so you won’t feel the pain of being left behind. I had to carry that regret for my entire life.”
“You think that after hearing that excuse I could forgive you? You left me and my father for another man, another family. Why are you back now?” He looked as Ume with resentment. It does seem like she picked her other spouse over them.
“Kakashi I-”
“You left my father, and he fell low after one mission. If you were there like a wife should be, like a decent mother then perhaps he would still be alive! He killed himself because no one was there to believe in him. You weren't there! I’ve had a shitty life until recently, my comrades dying in front of me left and right. I didn’t have much of a childhood to look back upon, so you have some nerve coming back here and trying to fix things that don’t even involve you anymore! I was fine thinking you were dead. I preferred to see you in my own dreams than to see the real you.” Kakashi yells. I’ve never seen him so worked up and angry before. Ume begins to cry in her hands, and Kakashi storms out of the house, slamming the door behind him. I was left there, not knowing if I should comfort the old lady or go after the hotheaded man. Kakashi needed to get some air, and I would like to get a few breathers too, but I couldn’t leave a guest alone. He’s gone a little too far wishing she was dead, a mother is a mother no matter how many mistakes she’s made. Ume was alone and she found comfort in someone else. Isn’t that what being human all about, to not be alone. To love, and live.
I go to the kitchen to make Ume a cup of tea, perhaps a cup will calm her a little. I let her cry for as long as she needs, before she finally looks at me.
“He’s right it was a mistake to come here, but I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere else,” She wipes her tears away and takes a sip of tea.
“Why do you say that?”
“My husband died months ago, and my two sons died three years ago on a mission they were on. I was alone and sad to be there. I got the courage to travel here to find Kakashi. I regret not taking him with me, but he has a life now, with you and I don’t want to interfere. Perhaps it is better if I go back to the Stone Village.”
“No of course not. Even after the things Kakashi just said, he’s always wanted a mother, someone who he can rely on other than myself. I can tell by the looks he would give his father when he looked at a picture. He’s craved for maternal love, I know it, because I feel the same way. How about you go stay at my friend’s house for a bit. Eri’s husband is away on missions sometimes and she always accepts help with taking care of her baby, Rin. Slowly Kakashi will come around.”
“I’m sure your parents are very proud of you. You are a very kind soul Kiyoko. Kakashi is blessed and I am grateful you are taking care of my son,” Ume squeezes my hands before she goes to my bedroom to gather her things. I felt bad for Ume, traveling around, trying to find a place again.
We walk over to Eri’s house and I quickly introduce her to Eri, Rin and Rokuro. Rokuro and Eri were surprised to see Kakashi’s mother alive, but they agreed to welcome her into their home. I thank them, and tell them that I had to go look for Kakashi. I couldn’t make sure that Ume would feel at home with them, I had to leave quickly. There were so many places Kakashi could be.
I go over to the cemetery first, maybe he went over there to talk to his teammates. He always told Obito what worried him. I run over there, hoping that he is there. I get there out of breath and feel my heart tighten a bit, he wasn’t there. Another place he would go would probably be the hokage faces.
“Kiyoko!” I hear my name being yelled. I turn to my right and see Kurenai and Hinata walking over. Kurenai had a few bags in her hands, Hinata smiled and waved.
“Hey you two.”
“What happened. You look worried, is everything okay?” Hinata asks me.
“No, some things came up and Kakashi ended up disappearing. I was going around town looking for him. I’m worried.”
“That doesn’t sound like him. Running from a confrontation.”
“Ya, but it wasn’t just any confrontation. I have to keep looking. if you see him anywhere please let me know,” I say. They nod and wish me good luck. I kept looking for him, that gray haired head, and the mask. Where was he hiding. When I arrived at the hokage faces, I grew more worried, he wasn’t there either. Where else could he be? It was going to get dark soon, I wish he wouldn’t go off without letting me know. I didn’t know what would happen. Anything can happen at anytime. I looked at the training fields, maybe he was letting out some steam, but he wasn’t there either.
I spent my evening looking all over town searching for Kakashi. I was forced to go home to feed my hungry body. I was exhausted from searching all day, but I was more worried about Kakashi. I tried to find his chakra but with these many people in the village I was having a hard time finding him. I could use sage mode, but thats forbidden for the moment. Sage Moriko would punish me severely if I disobeyed this order. All I could do is wait and hope he comes home quickly.
I ate a small dinner, making enough for Kakashi. I paced the living room for so long I was sure that I would have created a whole right through the ground. Where could he be? Please let him be safe? He isn’t the kind to do rash and stupid things. But then again today was a very long and confusing day for him. It was two in the morning when I hear the door open. I was laying in bed watching the night sky when I run out of bed. I see Kakashi struggle to take his shoes off. I rushed over to unbuckle them for him. His knuckles were bloody, and I look to see his face. He was sweaty and pale, but he didn’t smell like alcohol. He wasn’t drunk perhaps he went out somewhere to let off some anger.
“Kakashi-”
“She’s not here, is she?” His weak voice asks me.
“No she’s not. She’s with Eri right now. Come on, you need to eat and take a long hot shower.”
I help Kakashi get to the kitchen where I served him dinner. I could tell that he has been thinking about it the entire day. He was lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize he’s finished three servings. He absently walked over to the bathroom, he sat on the toilet, looking at the wall. I didn’t know how I could get his mind off of it.
I go over to the bathtub and prepare the bath for him, he didn’t even say anything when I began to unzip his flak jacket.
“Kakashi, where were you?” I ask him, and undress him further. I tried not to think about my actions for now, I didn’t want to think about his body in a moment like this. I kept my eyes on his face once I reached to take his shirt off. I noticed that he’s had a few new bruises on his torso. There were blue spots on his forearms as well.
“How did you get these?” I asked. He turned away a little bit. I let myself wander a bit more and I worriedly pulled his pants down. There were bruises there too. Kakashi moved himself to pull his underwear off, I looked away a bit, but he didn’t seem to care. He’s seen all there is to me, and I have already seen him but I was still a bit shy. He moved into the warm water and closed his eyes.
“I looked for you everywhere. Why do you have these bruises?”
“Guy was annoying me for a fight, I wasn’t very focused and ended up hurting more than I usually do.”
“I thought you might have went to Obito and Rin, or maybe the fourth hokage’s face. i got worried when you weren’t there. I’m sorry for bringing her into the house like that.”
“Did she say anything else after I left.” He asked me and slowly began to wash his body. I helped him scrub his back, when the time came. I washed his hair giving it a massage along with it.
“She told me her reason on coming here today. Her husband died not too long ago and her sons died years ago. She was alone and heartbroken, she wanted to see you again. She regrets not taking you with here, but she’s glad she you have your own life. She’s very proud of you Kakashi. Someday she wants to talk to you,” I tell him. I say the words but I’m not sure if he listens to them.
I leave the bathroom and go get him some clean clothes. I hope Kakashi will be able to open his heart to her. When I think about finding out that my own mother could be alive I feel sick. Happy and scared at the same time. I would have wanted to sit down and talk with her. I would have asked her so many things, but I would be afraid. Would she really want to see me again.
Once Kakashi walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, he laid in bed with me, but I knew he wasn’t going to sleep tonight. We laid facing each other, I drew circles with my thumb under his earlobe.
“She left me,” He whispers to me. His heart was breaking right in front of me, my hands weren’t big enough to catch all of the parts.
“She’s back,” I told him. He shakes his head.
“Just because she didn’t have anyone else. I’m her second choice. She’s been in pain for a few years. I’ve been in pain for most of my life. I don’t think she can come into my life as my mother anymore.”
“Than what can she be to you?”
“Nothing.”
I nod, I wasn’t going to push him. Not now.
“That won’t happen to us, will it Kiyoko?” He asks and I can feel his voice crack a little bit. I can feel my own tears well up.
“Of course I will never do that. I love you so much Kakashi. I can’t even imagine leaving you. No matter where you are I will always wait for you. Don’t think about me leaving you because that will never happen.”
Kakashi pulls closer and hides himself in my shoulder. I can feel a little bit of water run down my arm. He was crying, and thats when I couldn’t hold my own tears anymore. I can’t stand him thinking that I will leave him. I don’t have anywhere else to go and even if I did I would stay with Kakashi.
“I’ll be beside you for the rest of my life. I don’t want anyone else. I swear,” I tell him and hold him tighter. Even the strongest of ninja have their limit at how strong they can be.
The next couple of weeks, Kakashi has gotten back to his normal self but he still didn’t like the idea of Ume being in the same village. I visited her when I could, but I juggled my time between sage training, missions, and Kakashi. Sometimes when I was gone for too long he thought I was with someone else. But Tomoko would verify that I was with her and Kakashi would leave his worries behind.
“I just don’t think someone like you would stick by someone like me,” he would say when I explained myself. He was doubting his self worth, which he didn’t need to. I should be asking him that question instead. Every time I visited Ume she would greet me and then ask how Kakashi was doing. We would talk about his day, how he was acting, what he ate. She wanted to be there, but for now I told her everything that I thought she needed to know. Ume came to understand that it would take time to get used it, but she began to doubt that they would have a relationship in the future. I didn’t let her loose hope, I still pushed Kakashi a bit.
Usually I told him I went to go visit her, but he wouldn’t ask questions. He never seemed to be interested in knowing what she did. At this rate they will never speak again. Kakashi and I were about to eat lunch when there was a knock on the door. I go open the door and find Rokuro standing there.
“Hey. What’s going on?” I ask him. He looks a bit worried.
“Ume collapsed. She’s in the hospital right now, but I don’t think she’s doing so well.”
“Oh no. We’ll be there right away. Thank you for letting us know,” I tell him and see him run back down the stairs. I scramble to put my shoes on. I hope she is better than what I have in mind. She can’t go and not say what she truly thinks about Kakashi. And Kakashi can’t let her leave without telling her how he really feels about her. He’s letting her past affect the present, but he needs to see her as the person she is now. The loving mother that she is desperately trying to be for Kakashi. I wait for Kakashi to get his shoes, but the seconds prolong and he doesn’t come.
“Kakashi why aren’t you moving? Lets go see your mother.” I say loudly.
“I’m not going to see her.” For some reason I got angry when I heard him say that.
“If she dies today, you’ll regret not going to go see her for the rest of your life. You won’t have another chance. She was brought back into your life for some reason, and now maybe she is being taken away. If you aren’t going to go see her then you can stay home and think about it. I’m going. I don’t know when I’ll be back. Don’t wait up,” I snip. He sighs and I hear his fork scrape against the plate. I wait a few more seconds and leave. He can decide whether he wants to have her in her life for just a few moments. Who knows how bad she is, but for their sake I hope she gets better. I run to the hospital, asking the front desk for her. They direct me to her room. When I get to her room I slowly open the door. I see Eri sitting with Rin in her arms. Rokuro stood near the window. In the few weeks they have gotten close to her, so it was natural that they are worried about her.
“How is she doing?”
“The doctors don’t know how she’ll recover. We were making lunch when she collapsed, for a while I sensed something off about her, but I thought she was just sad about not seeing Kakashi. They are still running a few tests to figure out what caused it,” Eri informs me. Please let her be okay. I want to get to know her better, I want Kakashi to have a chance. Just one more. I see the doctor come into the room, he had a grim look on his face.
“Its seems like Ume’s diagnosis is a bit more serious than we thought. After taking a fes tests and xrays. we found severe swelling in the head. Her loss of consciousness was caused by a cerebral hemorrhage. It is not a major vessel but it is a moderate size. We don’t know if she will wake up from this comatose state. We also can’t predict how she will recover. If she does manage to wake up there can be loss of muscle movement, or loss of sensation, even loss of memories. It seems that the cause of this hemorrhage was because of high blood sugar. For now we can give her medication for the swelling and let her rest,” the doctor tells us. I can’t believe it was this serious. Ume’s face was pale, and he breathing looked a little shallow.
Her recovery was in her hands now. I just hope her desire to see Kakashi is enough to pull her through this crisis. I so over to her, sitting in a chair next to the bed. Her hands were cold, I held them in my warm ones. I hated being cold, Kakashi knew I did. I wished he was hear to keep Ume’s hands warm. It should be his job not mine, to take care of his ill mother. I didn’t mind, but I preferred to see Kakashi by her side instead.
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Chapter notes: I hope you guys like this chapter. I have the week off for thanksgiving break so I think I'll be updating more. Enjoy the chapter.
Chapter end notes: thank you for reading. Let me know how this chapter went. Did you guys like it?
Until next time!