Kakashi promised to not tell a soul, not even Lady Tsunade. This secret stayed between us, and I knew he could be trusted. Guy didn’t ask any questions, he was his normal self, everything was coming along perfectly to my standards. no longer had to hide things from Kakashi and I was feeling more comfortable by the second. The Leaf is my home.
We arrive home two days before the lantern festivals. And the first thing I do is get a lantern for Suzu. There weren’t many to choose from, but I picked a blue one, like the color of her spirit as she flew off to the other world. This lantern will fly with her as well.
Kakashi stayed behind to fill out the reports, I took a well deserved bath and a nap. Not even a nap because I couldn’t sleep with so many thoughts. My heart was at peace with the forgiveness of Suzu and Kakashi but my mind was trying to wage a war with itself. I am responsible for so many things now, responsibility that wouldn’t be handed to just anyone, to a normal person. I was given the responsibility to save the world and rid it of war because others have acknowledged me of my power and reliability. I should be happy, but I only felt afraid that I would disappoint them. That crystal ball of Sage Moriko could not see into the future to rid me of my doubts.
There was a knock on the door, making me get up from the very comfortable couch. I open it to see a very serious and crestfallen Sakura. I knew then that she must have heard the means for the mission we just went on.
“You went out looking for Sasuke? That is why Kakashi and Guy were gone too wasn’t it,” Sakura looks at her weakest, she was trying her hardest to not cry. It made my heart ache to see her like this. I try give her shoulder a squeeze, but she slaps my hand away before I can touch her.
“Sakura-”
“Why didn’t you take me! I should have been there, I should have brought Sasuke back. I know I’m not strong, and I am not at a jounin level of intelligence, but I could have helped somehow,” She bows her head to prevent me from seeing her tears, but they dropped and soaked the ground beneath her.
“We didn’t-”
“I just wanted to see him once more,” She whispers to herself. I swallowed my tears, her heart must be breaking at the moment. She is feeling useless, but she wasn’t. I take her in my arms, and she lets me this time. She clings to my fresh clothes, like she was trying to catch Sasuke’s smell, but it wasn’t there. She brings us to our knees, some of the neighbors peek their heads out to see what was the commotion and ducked back in. She brought us to our knees. She just wanted to see him one more time
“We didn’t see him Sakura, he wasn’t there,” I tell her, her body shakes once more. Who told her about our mission, it was their fault that she is this way right now. I do what Kakashi would do to me, I smoothed her hair to comfort her. She wept quietly, but cried she did.
I see Kakashi walk up the stairs and stop when he sees us. He raises an eyebrow and walks right back down the stairs. He stayed clear of this mess that somehow managed to get to her.
“We were fooled, they just wanted to get to me that is all,” I reassure her. She finally pulls away leaving a very large spot on my shoulder. She wipes her tears away curiosity written all over her face.
“Why is that? Why do people like Orochimaru and Kabuto have an interest in you?”
We take it back behind close doors, not just anyone could hear what we are talking about. Once in the living room I answer her question.
“Well, there are many things that even I don’t know. I have special chakra, very powerful and I guess now that they know they want to experiment on me. They are after me, and they used Sasuke as bait. It worked. You can say that Naruto and I are the same in that area, a lot of people are after him for that same reason,” I tell her in broad perspective. This conversation would take hours if I went into detail.
“Crying won’t change a thing will it? I have to get to their level to bring Sasuke back. I have to protect Naruto and you from people like them,” She clenches her first in enthusiasm. It warmed me that she wanted to protect not only me but Naruto as well. I’ve only seen ninja from the Leaf with hearts of gold, their purpose lies in protection of comrades and loves ones.
“Exactly, but don’t think just because I’m a bit older than you that I’ll retire any time soon. I still have decades of life in me, and as long as I live I’ll be doing the protection Sakura,” I smile. She smiles as well, and gets up to leave.
“I’m sorry for causing such a ruckus, I’ll be going. I have some training to do with Lady Tsunade,” She says and closes the door behind her. I’m sure Lady Tsunade will be at her neck with her, Sakura will only want to get stronger faster. Kakashi walks in seconds later, he sighs.
"I did not want to deal with that, looked like something you two needed to do," Kakashi smiles. He just didn't want to deal with an emotional teenage girl. Kakashi has a bag in hand, with ripe fruits and vegetables, he's learned how to buy produce correctly, thats only thing I have taught how to do.
"Poor girl, she really does love him. Lady Tsunade will have to pull a lot out of her sleeves to make Sakura as good as them. After all Naruto has powerful chakra and Sasuke has the sharingan," I say. Looking at it now it feels like Sakura is just staring at their backs from where she stands. But I have faith in her, she’ll become strong enough to stand right by their sides.
“Ya she does, no matter the darkness that has consume Sasuke, she still wants to save him from it. I admire her for that strength she has,” Kakashi speaks of his student with much confidence. I couldn’t help but smile to see him so concerned and observing over his students.
“How about we go window shopping, there are a lot of great things to see at this time of year,” Kakashi asks me. I grab my wallet and follow Kakashi down the stairs. The Lantern festival brings a lot of attention from all around the Land of Fire, I heard that even the Daimyo is escorted here and guarded during the five days of letting go of the lanterns.
The posts were stocked with lanterns and other things made by merchants. There were woven bracelets and necklaces on one post and real metal jewelry in others. Other merchants sold beautiful branded wallets and others sold leather hair band. There were many things that were brought from many different places of the earth. A merchant that came all the way from Land of Waves sold blown glass. They were colorful and in many different shapes.
“Wow beautiful,” I say as I look closer, but I do not touch in fear that I might break them.
“Thank you, its a very delicate process to make such a very delicate piece of art. This opening at the bottom lets a candle to be placed in. The opening at the top lets the oxygen in, and the color of the glass is illuminated. Dim light can relax, its very beautiful to see at night, just like the lanterns,” the woman behind the post tells me.
“Its very well done, I think I want this blue one right here,” I say. Its a blue figure that is formed in the shape of flowing water. The lady wrapped in paper before gently putting it in the bag. She was generous enough to give two free candles. I’m sure the dim light will help me relax and keep the bad nights at bay. I carry it gently as we make our way through the crowd, I cradle the glass sculpture in my arms. Kakashi stopped us at a frying stand where we fried our own dinner.
Kakashi didn’t buy anything, and I only bought my glass sculpture. We were both saving for the festival, one of us will have to buy the winning snack for the other if we win the counting competition. Just one more day and the lantern festival would begin.
That night I stayed in his bed, in his arms, and I no longer felt so nervous around him. He let me light my glass sculpture, it made the ceiling look like the afternoon sky. I slept there peacefully and let the sound of Kakashi rock me to sleep once again.
Another day passes by, and then the morning of the lantern festival came. All day I waited impatiently, making lunch and dinner. I trained on my own, I’m surprised Sage Moriko and Tomoko have not summoned me yet. They must be angry with me, but right now I didn’t care, I wanted to be here for the next five days. I want to count the lanterns and eat fried sugar dumplings that Kakashi will buy me because I will win. Kakashi said he talked to Lady Tsunade and that she would lets us attend the festival without the interruption of a mission.
The lanterns were let go of at midnight so Kakashi and I leave the house an hour before hand. I carry my lantern in my hand, tonight I will light it for Sister Ai from the orphanage. Kakashi holds his in his hand, I wonder who he will remember tonight.
“So it seems like Tomoko and Sage Moriko haven’t summoned you to their forest,” Kakashi says.
“Ya, I bet they are angry with me right now, but I want to enjoy the festival so I don’t mind. After this small break I’m really going to have to work hard, I am supposed to ‘save’ this world,” I say quietly. I need to be careful what I say out loud.
“Does it make you nervous just knowing?”
“Ya it does. I’m more afraid that I won’t be able to save it, I mean what happens if I don’t save it? What will happen to us?”
Kakashi places his hand on my head, and tugs me to his side as we walk.
“Well I can’t imagine this world ending, not in my lifetime, so you’re just going to have confident in yourself. From what i have seen you do so far, I truly believe that you can do anything,” Kakashi says. My heart races at those words, it feels like if I hear them I do believe I can do anything. If I had him by my side like this then it feels like we can do the impossible.
“Hello you two,” I hear Guy say from afar. I see him waving his hands and he wears a big smile on his face.
“Quick if it looks like we didn’t notice him then we can go a different way,” Kakashi whispers into my ears.
“Be nice, I’m sure he just wants to say hello. We have plenty of time to get up to the Hokage faces,” I tell him. Guy waits for us to get to him.
Smiley Guy awaits us with enthusiasm on this late night, I’m sure small children are tucked away with their mothers at this time. On any other night the town would be silent with a few moises here and there, but tonight and for the next four nights it will be alive. Children took advantage of it, they laughed on their parent’s shoulders, with no worry of disturbing many of their neighbors.
“So where are you two going to release your lanterns? I was thinking we could release them at the center of the town with the rest of the crowd. It will sure look bright there?” Guy says and takes his folded lantern from his jacket.
“Oh, we thought maybe we can go release them-” I begin to tell him but I was soon interrupted.
“Guy-sensei!” Someone says. I see a large group of kids coming closer. I see Sakura and Ino among them. I realize it was all of the students. Lee, Tenten, Neji, Hinata, Kiba, Akamaru, Shino, Ino, Choji, Shikamaru, Sakura, and even Sai were all together. They were a large crowd, they all held their own lanterns in their hands.
“Guy-sensei, you must help me with this one technique I am having trouble with,” Lee asks very loudly. Sakura smiles at me, and comes over to where Kakashi and I are standing.
“We’ll take care of this for you guys, take this opportunity to escape,” She whispers and shields her mouth from Guy’s view.
“I owe you one Sakura,” Kakashi says, and takes hold of my hand and pulls me to a different direction. I see Guy listen to his student and soon enough they were out of my sight. I felt just a bit bad for leaving Guy behind, but Kakashi held my hand, and I don’t think we would have been able to if Guy was tagging along. We wouldn’t be able to talk so freely, we wouldn’t be able to talk about my wood technique or about me saving the world. Kakashi is the only one I trust with these things. He’s taken care of me, and I trust him to keep taking care of me in this aspect of protecting my secret.
We walked quickly through alleys and dodged group of people that were in our way of our great escape. I couldn’t help but laugh at the idea of our great escape and just how weird we must look. Just two people running against the crowd, on our way to the Faces of the hokage. It felt like everyone else was going to the center of town just like Guy said, but part of me was glad that Kakashi had invited me along to see the lanterns from the outer part of town.
We finally slow down at the stairs behind the Hokage’s office and Kakashi lets go of my hand. I wish he hadn’t. We begin to walk up the stairs, each step getting closer to the faces. Amazing how the sculpted them up here.
“Where do you think they’ll carve the faces when they no longer fit up here?” I ask Kakashi. He takes his time to answer.
“I don’t know, but we won’t be around to see it even if we do die at an old age.”
“We can see it in our after lives,” I tell him.
“So you think there is an life after this one?” Kakashi says, and continues to walk up the stairs.
“Of course I do. Where would we go after we die, our souls have to go somewhere. I think we’re eternal and we only have a limited time in the physical world. After that we go to the other world and live out eternity with late friends and family,” I tell him. There has to be more to this life, I don’t think old age is enough time for me, not when I already spent so many years alone and afraid.
“There has to be an after life huh. But you can’t be sure what that after life is.” Kakashi almost says to himself.
“Is there forgiveness?” He asks me, making sure I am looking at him.
“There is. Without forgiveness then we live in our regrets, and no one or nothing could ever move on. That is why there are so many conflicts, it feels like its getting harder to forgive with so many generations full of grudges,” I tell him. He must be asking forgiveness to Obito and Rin, and I know they do forgive him. After all it sounds like he has changed for the good.
“Its incredible that you don’t hold grudges,” He smiles a bit and pats my head.
“Oh no I do. Two grudges, I’m not a perfect human being that could possibly be peace, but to the vision I am. My father and Kabuto have done horrible things that should have never been done. If I don’t do it myself, then some day they will get what they deserve. Karma will happen, and I’m sure my karma will come too,” I tell him. Kakashi laughs.
“Honest and wise. You’ve changed overnight Kiyoko.”
“Is that a good thing?” I ask him.
“Its great,” he says. I smile, and we walk over to the edge of the Fourth Hokage’s face. Our feet dangle as we sit. We still had time to waste.
“There are four midnights in five days, what do we do with the fifth lantern?”
“On the last day at midday we light the last lantern and let it go. Its for remembering the person we were and what we want to be. Because it is light out, the lanterns can’t be seen, its kind of a metaphor. It doesn’t matter the person you were, that is flowing away, what matters is the person you want to be,” He says, and leans on his hands.
“Wow, who comes up with these things?”
He shrugs, “my father told me that is what it meant. The lantern festival was his favorite part of the year. Its like another new year for him.”
“I would have wanted to meet your father. What was he like as a father?”
“He was always trying to make me be more considerate of others, believe it or not I used to be a bit of an ass,” he chuckles.
“He raised a very intelligent shinobi and man,” I praise him. We sit in a comfortable silence, watching the people gather at the center of town, they were so tiny from here, but the lanterns still shined. I take out my lantern and begin to give it its structure. Kakashi makes his.
“Is that one for your father?” I ask him. He nods. He tells me the counting game, there are no rules, we just count as many lanterns that we can before they fade. He warned me that it could take a while, but I didn’t mind. I used to fall asleep counting hundreds of stars.
At midnight we see the first lanterns begin to float up towards the moon, and that is when I send out my gratitude and forgiveness to Sister Ai. She shouldn’t have died the way she did. She took me in for a short time but it was a safe and wonderful little vacation, and I thank her for that little paradise. I light my candle and push it towards the heavens, Kakashi releases his, and then I see him give me the start sign. I began to count all the lanterns I could. The lights we beautiful, the different colored lanterns made the sky look like stained glass. It was the most beautiful night I have ever lived through. No wonder Kakashi’s father loved this time of year.
I got to two hundred forty five before they began to fade, and Kakashi said to stop counting.
“How many did you count?” I ask him.
“Two hundred ten,” he says.
“Ha, I counted two hundred forty five. I win. Did you bring your wallet?” I smile. He smiles.
I realize now just how close we were. Kakashi was lowering his mask and leaning in. My heart raced, but it felt natural to lean in too. I closed my eyes and waited for what I knew was going to happen. I felt Kakashi’s warm breath before I felt his soft lips touch mine. The lack of exposure made his lips feel smooth. The kiss felt natural, the only thing that has ever felt natural to me. I savored the taste of his lips, and I didn’t want to open my eyes yet. I felt Kakashi hold my cheek in his hand. We finally pull away, and I open my eyes to see a flushed Kakashi staring at me. I felt like he sucked all of my air with him.
“You still owe me my fried sweet dumplings,” I whisper to him. That was the first thing that popped into my head. He smiles, and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.
“I wouldn’t dream of forgetting,” He says.
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Chapter notes: Here is another chapter. I have been waiting to write this one. I ope you guys enjoy it!!
Chapter end notes: Sorry if the kissing scene wasn't good. I'm not too good at writing those kind of things, but yay progress right.
Let me know what you guys think!
Until next chapter!