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Regulators by Shizake Uchiha

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Story notes: This is a dedication to one of my favorite rappers of all time. I wrote this story after a song he helped write with another rapper named Warren G.

R.I.P. Nate Dogg
Chapter notes: Enjoy!
“Regulators: We regulate any stealing of this property and we damn good too but you can't be any geek off the street, gotta be handy with the steel if you know what I mean, earn your keep!”

We are a team of elite ninja branched off of the Uchiha police force. We’re here to regulate any crimes during the hours of the night. Nobody can be a regulator either, only the elite of the elite is chosen and that’s why we’re here today.

“Regulators… mount up!”

It was a night like any other, clear sky and white moon shining off in the distance. My partner, Izanami Uchiha and me are just about to meet up to start our patrol and the nightlife of Konoha has just begun to light up. Not only does that mean fun but also danger.

“Kiru!” My partner says as he approaches me.

“Izanami! How’s it going brother?” I ask.

“Pretty good. Ready to start our patrol?”

“Eager hm?”

“I’m ready to meet some ladies!”

“You can say that again. Lets get to it.”

Both of us hop on the roof and begin scanning the streets. For now all we see are people heading to the bars and each other’s houses to party. Nothing suspicious so far so Izanami and me hit the streets to enjoy a bit of the nightlife. I tip my rice-farming hat down to conceal my face. One of the rules of being a regulator is keeping your identity hidden, why? I’ll never know.

We hit the streets and begin hitting on the various women we see instantly. They flirt with us and we flirt with them. Easily we pull four of five of them and we continue down the streets with them draped around our arms. The night is going real swell and with nothing bad happening it could be a pretty fun night.

Our fun is stopped when I see a man bust out of a bar and take off running. Three fellows exit the bar but give up the chase when they see him take off around the corner.

I look at Izanami and say, “Lets ride.”

We leave the girls and take chase after the man. I take to the roofs while Izanami stays behind the man. With ease we gain on him and prepare to attack him. I leap off the roof and throw three shuriken right in front of him. He stops, scared and turns around right when Izanami dropkicks him in the chest. The man is send flying back several feet and skids on his back before coming to a rolling stop. Izanami and I approach the man and flip him upside down, emptying everything on him. Nothing of value falls from him so I assume he dined and dashed. All he has is an unpaid bar tab but I still consider that stealing and that doesn’t fly by me.

We return him to the bar and force him to pay up the tab before turning him over to the main Uchiha police force. They whisk him away and take him into custody leaving us back at the bar. The women we were with earlier are gone but hey there are thousands of fish in the sea.

“I’m going to go check out another bar. Holler if you see anything.” Izanami tells me before walking off.

I shrug deciding to get some ladies on my own. More for me I suppose. I head into the bar and begin enjoying myself. I have a few drinks but not too many just in case I’m needed. A couple of hours pass by and I’ve again picked up a few women. They wrap around me and I walk out of the bar smiling from being slightly drunk but also that I have some ladies.

We exit the bar and begin walking down the street. We talk and laugh as we flirt with each other. I’m going to have to find a motel to take us all to. Just as I turn the corner I see Izanami pinned up against the wall with about thirteen men surrounding him. Looks like my partner has gotten into some trouble.

“Stay here…” I whisper to the ladies. They giggle softly and stay where I tell them.

I keep hidden and figure a plan on how to save my buddy. It looks like they took his hat and pretty much everything on him. At least I have probable cause to lay these idiots down.

My partner glances to his left, notices me and smirks. The ninja who have him hemmed up turn and glare at me. Izanami takes this chance and knees one in the back and escapes them. He sides back up with me and we instantly go into action.

Ninja tools begin flying and clashing in the night. I unleash a load of kunai and strike down three of the men. Izanami has four of them dead locked in taijutsu, throwing kicks and punches in all directions while fending them off. I throw together some hand-signs and scream, “Fire style: Dragon flame jutsu!”

Three dragon shaped fireballs scorch across the earth and slays another four of them. One of them approaches me and throws a punch at my face. I duck, grab his arm and bend it in the opposite direction, snapping it like a twig. He screams in pain but backs up, still in the fight. The man delivers a kick but I block it with my forearm and sweep his leg while holding onto the leg he used to kick me with. I get him into a wrestler like deadlock and again with ease, break his leg. Once again he roars in agony so I end his misery by standing up and delivering a kunai to his throat.

Looking to the left I notice Izanami flare the sharingan in his eyes before launching two kunai into the sky. He stabs the man in front of him and kicks off his chest, doing a black flip and delivering three shuriken into the skull of the person who was behind him. The kunai come down from the sky and he swiftly kicks each of them into the chests of the two people on his left and right. That takes care of all of them but one who is cowering by him self. He turns around to run but we shunshin in front of him. He bounces off our chests and begins to frantically crawl backwards. Izanami and I glance at each other and smirk before we each deliver a kunai to his chest, killing the sad excuse of a man.

“Thanks brother, I thought I was going down for sure.” Izanami says.

“You know I always have your back. I have a surprise for you too.” I say excitedly.

Just like I thought, the women from before were in the same spot. Izanami’s face lights up and two of the four women run over as he lays his arms around their shoulders.

“The next stop is the east Konoha motel!” I say as we all begin laughing.
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