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Two For You, None For Me by flipomatic

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Authors note: I am taking a quick break from third person limited to write a one-shot in first person. I wrote all of this down on lined paper in my spare time for the past week because I didn't have time to start typing it until now. R & R

Disclaimer: I own nothing! (Except a car, I have one of those)

Summary: Eagle and Panda had an impossibly difficult S-ranked mission. They had to escort some merchants who were sure that they were going to be attacked by the Akatsuki. What do you know, they were right. SasuTenji and very slight ShikaTema

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Pain POV

I stared down at the two men in front of me. One of them was blue while the other was deathly pale.

"You know what to do," I stated, and the blue man nodded. He vanished and the other followed quickly. Once I was alone, I sighed. This could go badly in so many ways.

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Tenten / Panda POV

When I woke up this morning I was ready to go. I jumped out of bed feeling refreshed after a good nights sleep. My good mood did not last for long. In fact, it didn't even make it to the kitchen.

Somebody, probably Neji, decided that they were going to come into my house, break down my door, set off all my traps, leave a scroll on my table, and not even wake me up! I glared at the scroll, this had better be important.

It was.

I opened up the scroll and read it. It said that Panda was to go on an S-ranked mission with Eagle at noon and to get the mission briefing from him. Of course he could have just woken me up, but that would have been too easy.

I quickly gathered the scattered weapons into a pile and put the door back on its hinges. After that I changed into my standard Anbu uniform and mask. I knew where Eagle would be, so I went to get the briefing, and maybe yell at him a bit, or a lot. I hadn't decided yet.

I jumped along the rooftops to get there quickly. Eagle was right were I expected him to be; training at the training ground 3. He was standing in the center of a field with his mask off and his eyes closed.

Just for fun, I tried to creep up behind him. I was only a few inches away when…

"Tenten,"

I froze.

"I know you're there." Neji opened his eyes and turned around.

"Damn," I cursed quietly, "How did you know It was me?"

He smirked, "I could sense your chakra." I made a mental note to work on chakra suppression before pulling out the scroll from earlier.

"What is this mission about?" I asked.

Neji picked up his mask from its place on the ground and responded, "It's a simple escort mission. They are paranoid and are willing to pay for Anbu escorts. "He put on his mask. "We meet them at the gate at noon. It will only be a few days." He saluted me and jumped into the trees.

I saluted back as he jumped away, but then realized I forgot to yell at him. I glared where he was just minutes ago, I guess it would just have to wait. I went home to gather up a few supplies and sit around for a few hours.

When noon arrived I went to the gate. Surprisingly, nobody except the guard were there. After about 15 minutes of waiting I got frustrated. I wrote a note for the clients saying I would be right back and stormed off to find my partner.

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Eagle / Neji POV

I had my bag packed and was about to slip on my mask and vanish when the elders called a clan meeting. They knew that I had a mission and just wanted to make me late. They deny it, but I know it is true.

So I found myself sitting in a meeting at 12:30, thinking about all of the ways Tenten is going to kill me for being late. My thought process was disturbed by the faint sound of fighting from the hallway. Everybody ignored it even as it got louder and louder; Hyuuga guards could deal with any intruders.

They never planned for Tenten.

There was a loud BANG and a figure appeared in the doorway.

The rather agitated Anbu, Panda, scanned the room as I tried to shrink. She was going to kill me in front of all these Hyuuga elders. It would be funny if it were not me.

I felt myself paling as she spotted me and stomped over. She did not say anything, but she did grab me by the arm and dragged me out the door. I was so lucky that she was not Lee, he would have yelled and caused a commotion, but she dealt with it like the ninja she is.

As she dragged me out, I sent my uncle an apologetic look, expecting him to be upset. But he wasn't, he looked almost… amused. I didn't want to think about it, whenever my uncle is amused it means bad things for me.

When we got outside, Tenten let go of my arm.

"Listen Neji," she said to me, "I know this was not your fault, but you could have sent me a note or a bird or something!" Her chocolate brown eyes flared with anger and I fought to keep my face emotionless.

"We have a mission. Lets go. We are already late."

She blinked at me for a second before groaning and slapping the forehead of her mask.

"I nearly forgot. I left a note at the gate incase the client beat us there. I wasn't sure how long this would take."

I nodded and put on my mask. Now I was Eagle.

We jumped from roof to roof quickly to reach the front gates.

Surprisingly, our client was not there yet. I checked the sun, 12:55, the mission was supposed to start at noon. The note Tenten wrote was still there, so we assumed nobody had been by yet.

A few minutes later a group of about ten men approached from inside the village. They were all dressed in expensive clothing that was not ideal for traveling.

One of them asked, "Are you the Anbu escorting us?" I nodded and the man kept talking, "Lets get going then, we don't have all day."

Tenten looked like she wanted to make a retort, but thought better of it. I smirked at her even though she couldn't see it through my mask.

We were supposed to escort these men to a nearby town with a large merchant trade. It would be a one-day trip for a ninja, or half a day for Lee and Gai. These merchants needed three. They were painfully slow.

Traveling with them was rather uneventful until the second day. That was when we were attacked. Tenten and I sensed two large chakra's heading towards us, one of them easily identified as Sasuke Uchiha.

Tenten told me in code that she could beat them, and left our slow group. I tried to protest, but she was already gone and if I yelled out the clients would realize something other than her simply scouting out ahead was happening.

We kept moving, and I felt Tenten's chakra rise along with one of the others. Sasuke's disappeared.

After a few minutes, I heard someone in the trees behind me. I ignored them until I felt Tenten's chakra drop. I spun around to attack the Uchiha, but he was gone. Something was obviously wrong, but I had to hide that from the merchants.

Silently cursing my luck, I pretended that nothing was wrong and kept the merchants walking.

I got them to their town with out any further events and bid them farewell.

After I left, I quickly ran back to where I had first sensed the enemy chakra. From there, I followed Tenten's chakra to a field.

It showed obvious signs of battle. There were giant craters and weapons scattered everywhere, these things along with Tenten's bag confirmed the battleground. They also told me that she had not won the fight. If she had, she would have taken her bag with her.

Also, there was a chakra trail leading north. It was obviously a trap.

I had a small internal battle right there in that field. Go find Tenten and fall into a trap, or get reinforcements and avoid the trap altogether. The logical choice was to get reinforcements, but it was a hard choice to make. I had to force myself to run towards the village.

I just hoped I was making the right decision as I ran back towards the village. I zoomed past the gate guards and to the Hokage's office. I stopped at the door and knocked politely before being called in.

Tsunade-sama and Sakura were discussing what seemed to be medical reports. Tsunade-sama gestured for me to speak.

"I have come back from the S-ranked escort mission," I began, "and I need to gather a retrieval team now. Tenten is missing and I sensed Sasuke Uchiha nearby."

As soon as I said 'Sasuke' Sakura went into gloom mode. Tsunade-sama was much more composed,

"All right," she said, "Neji, Sakura, I want you to find Shikamaru, Lee, and Sai, and inform them of the retrieval mission. You all leave as soon as you can I want you to report back here as soon as you get back."

Sakura snapped out of gloom mode and nodded at her mentor before leaving. I nodded as well and followed the kunoichi out. We agreed that she would find Sai and Shikamaru while I would find Lee. We were going to meet at the gate as soon as we could.

I knew Lee would be training with Gai-sensei, so I went to the training grounds. He was there sparring with Gai-sensei in an open field, the same one I had been counting birds in that morning.

As soon as Lee saw me he yelled "Neji!" and ran towards me. I dodged what was sure to be a bone-crushing hug only to stumble into another.

"Oh no Neji," Gai-sensei said as he crushed the life out of me, "you cant escape the youth of a group hug." I sighed and shoved them off.

"We just got a mission Lee. Follow me."

"Yosh! I am ready." He recovered from being shoved away quickly.

Gai-sensei also recovered and he grinned at the green clad boy, "That is right my youthful student." He flashed a grin, Ping "Lee"

"Gai-sensei"

"Lee"

"Gai-sensei"

"Lee"

"Gai-sensei"

I glared and grabbed Lee by the ear to drag with me.

"Owww Neji. I get it. Farewell Gai-sensei. Until we meet again."

I let go of his ear and Lee followed me to the gate. Everybody else was already there so I briefed them about the mission. Lee looked sad, but he was determined.

Oddly, Temari was tagging along with us. Sakura told me that she had insisted when she heard that Shikamaru was going on a mission. I think she just wanted to be with him. I really could care less about why, as long as she was going to help rescue Tenten.

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Sasuke POV

I glanced over at the man beside me. I really didn't know much about him, only that he used to work with my brother.

And that his skin was blue, I knew that too.

I also had no idea why he was paired up with me on this mission. I tried asking him about it while we were hopping through the trees, but he just laughed at me. It took all of my will power not to pick a fight.

Maybe the Akatsuki was testing me, to see if I would be a trustworthy member. Also, he seemed to have more chakra than Naruto and I wouldn't want to get into a fight with a guy like that.

We sensed an Anbu level chakra and headed in that direction. The Anbu seemed to sense us and moved towards us as well. We found her in a field, waiting. I stared at her, trying to remember where I had seen that hairstyle before. Twin hair buns… I wracked my brains but drew a blank. She looked like a panda bear.

Kisame looked over at me, "What luck," he said, "A Konoha Anbu. I'm gonna fight her. Go scout ahead."

I glared at him, how dare he order me around! Also, I felt like I didn't want him to fight her. I didn't want to fight her either, it was strange. I couldn't even remember her name. That was stupid, why should I care about what happened to a Konoha Anbu.

I lessened my glare and nodded tensely. I lowered my chakra and took to the trees to search for any other Anbu in the area. Even as I jumped away I could feel the chakra rising in the field behind me.

It was merely coincidence when I stumbled upon the other Anbu.

He had an eagle mask and was traveling with some slow merchants. I hid in a tree and watched them pass. I had the distinct feeling that he knew I was there, but I ignored it. I was just a scout and I was not supposed to get into any battles.

I felt Kisame's chakra go back down to normal and figured the battle must have been over. I couldn't feel the panda girls chakra and secretly hoped she wasn't dead. Why, I didn't know.

The eagle Anbu sensed it as well and spun around to face me, but I was already gone.

I remembered his name. Neji Hyuuga. Only Hyuugas had hair like that.

I still didn't know about the partner. I decided to call her Panda for the time being.

By the time I got back to the clearing Panda was unconscious with her hands tied. She looked uninjured while Kisame had a couple of nasty slash wounds.

Kisame noticed my approach and smirked, "Let's go back. Now you get to be useful. Carry the prisoner."

My anger flared up again, but I controlled it. This was just another test.

I gingerly picked Panda up and put her on my back piggyback style. It would be easiest to carry her that way and I would get home quicker.

When we were nearly at the base she woke up. I nearly expected her to try to strangle me, but she didn't. In fact, she did not even move or open her eyes. I only knew she was awake because her pulse rate increased. Then I decided that I was tired of being out of the loop.

"Kisame," I said, "Why did we capture an Anbu?"

"He he he," he chuckled, "Not an Anbu, we only needed a Konoha ninja. We are trying to lure out the nine-tailed jinchuriki by capturing someone from his village."

I sweat dropped and could feel Panda doing the same. I guess the Akatsuki didn't realize how badly Naruto wanted to find me.

"Clever right?" Kisame grinned, "And we are leaving a chakra trail so they can find us."

"Are you stupid?" the prisoner 'woke up', "Do you really think they would send Naruto to find me?
I'm just your run of the mill Anbu. I don't even know the guy. Odds are the village will just let me die."

"Shut up." Kisame snarled, "keep the prisoner quiet Sasuke."

I sighed. Luckily we arrived at our destination a few seconds later.

Tobi saw sitting in a lawn chair outside the doors. He had all of his attention fixated on an empty glass.

"This was Deidara-danna's favorite ice tea glass." He sniffled as we walked up. I did not understand this man; he was impossibly strong, but insisted on this pathetic disguise. Tobi looked up from his mourning and noticed Panda and I giving him the 'are you insane?' look and pranced over.

"Welcome back fellow Akatsuki members. Who's your new friend?"

Kisame whacked Tobi on the back of the head.

"Not a friend. Prisoner. And I hope you know Deidara is going to come back from his grave and kill you for touching his ice tea cups."

"Yay! Tobi gets to see Deidara-danna again." Tobi ran inside the cave yelling something about getting more stuff.

I nearly forgot that I had a prisoner until she asked me if he was insane. I just shrugged and continued on walking in.

Only Tobi, Pain, and Konan were in the main cave. Tobi was trying to break into what used to be Deidara's part of the cave while Konan was glaring paper daggers at him, literally.

Pain was staring right at me, or more specifically Panda. She met his gaze over my shoulder and I suddenly felt slightly uneasy.

"Well done," Pain said, "Put her in cell 5. Sasuke, you will be in charge of her care." I nodded and carried Panda to the cell. It was in a branch off the main cave and looked like a typical cell. It even had bars on an imaginary window.

Before putting her in the cell, I took her giant scroll. Of course she probably had weapons other than that, but I didn't care enough to try to find them all.

Once she was in the cell, I cut her ropes from the outside. She glared at me from behind her mask. I decided to let her keep the mask; what harm could it do?

After double-checking that the cell door was securely locked I went to go talk to Pain. He told me a few interesting things.

I was solely responsible for her care and that eventually when Konoha shinobi arrived I would have to kill her. The latter did not sit well with me, but I kept it to myself.

I shoved it to the back of my mind to think about later.

A more pressing matter was how was I going to feed both her and myself. I sat in a corner thinking for a few minutes before the idea hit me. I would give her food whenever I made food. If I wanted a sandwich then I would make two and give one to her. It seemed genius at the time. I didn't even consider that I could go on a mission and she wouldn't eat, but I got lucky that didn't happen.

After that brain wave I was hungry, and it was dinner time, so I went to make some lunch. I made two portions and took both down with me to see the prisoner; between Tobi and Zetsu and food left out just 'vanishes'.

Panda seemed surprised when I handed her a sandwich through the bars. I smirked at her,

"What, did you think we were going to starve you?"

"Yes." She replied bluntly.

When I didn't respond she thanked me for the food. When I didn't walk away she sighed.

"I guess it can't hurt to take my mask off. It doesn't really matter who I am anyway." She took the mask off, and I tried not to stare.

Tenten

I had a feeling and there was no mistaking that hairstyle, but I didn't have a face to go with it. She hadn't changed one bit over the years.

She glared at me; I must have been giving her a weird look. I cleared my throat and walked away, unknowingly leaving my lunch next to her cell.

I did not realize that until a couple hours later when my stomach growled angrily.

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Tenten / Panda POV

Life in a prison cell was very boring. The only things that stood out were visits from Akatsuki members. On the first day I saw Sasuke and some weird guy with a mask.

Sasuke brought me food, which I found strange. He gave me these awesome sandwiches that belonged in a five star restaurant. I ate one and packed the other away in a food storage container that put the food in a state of homeostasis. It was tiny so Sasuke hadn't confiscated it.

I wondered if they were planning to fatten me up and then eat me like in fairy tales, but I doubted it. At least I hoped not.

The weird guy in the mask just stared at me until I glared at him. Then he screamed and ran away. I think he is insane. I drew the conclusion that everybody here was nuts.

The next day Sasuke brought me some breakfast. It tasted really good and my confusion grew. Why would they feed me good food? I was just a prisoner after all.

The boy came back a few hours later with lunch and I tried to ask him about it.

"Hey Sasuke," I said, "not that I'm complaining, but aren't prisoners supposed to be fed crap?"

He smirked at me, "You like my cooking?"

"Yeah I guess…" I paused for a second, "Wait, you made this? I never would have guessed."

He glared at me and stomped away. His cooking must be a touchy spot for him. I shrugged and grabbed the extra food he left behind. I had just finished eating when the masked guy came by again.

"My name is Tobi," he said, "Who are you?"

"Panda," I replied. If Sasuke didn't tell his comrades my name than I definitely wasn't going to.

"What do you do?"

"I'm a ninja."

"Cool! Tobi does that too. Look at this Panda-chan." I twitched at the suffix as he pulled out an empty glass. "Tobi is holding onto this because if he does then Deidara-danna will come back."

He jumped up and down clutching the glass to his chest.

"Oh wait," his voice dropped a couple of octaves, "Beware of the snake." He shook his head a couple of times, like a dog shaking off water, and skipped away with a quick "Bye" in his normal voice.

I just stared after him.

I asked Sasuke about him later.

"Is Tobi insane?"

"What would make you think that?" he asked, looking confused.

"Well, I have seen him a few times, and he really seems insane." I said, "He came by earlier, asked a few questions, said something about a cup, and warned me about a snake. It was strange." I looked up at Sasuke, he was tense and his fists were clenched.

I was about to ask what was wrong when he just walked away. Again! What was his problem? Could he not have a decent conversation without leaving halfway through?

Then I noticed that, once again, Sasuke left and extra portion of food just inside my reach. I smirked and packed it away with the others.

The third day there would be my last.

I saw nobody until about noon. Sasuke showed up with one of my katanas I had sealed in the scroll. His onyx eyes showed reluctance.

My heart rose as he opened the cell door, but fell when he unsheathed the sword.

"S-Sasuke," I stuttered and edged backwards, "What are you doing?" I felt my back hit the wall as he approached.

"What I should have done a few days ago."

I closed my eyes expecting pain, but it didn't come. I opened them to see the sword hilt in front of my face.

"Take it," Sasuke said, "Knock me out and escape. I will tell them that you caught me by surprise."

I nodded and took the sword from him.

"Why?" I asked.

He shrugged, "I'm not really sure." I put my mask on and hit a pressure point on his neck to knock him out. He fainted and I did one last thing before making my escape. There was nobody in the main cave and once I was out I was home free.

I ran straight into Neji.

Glomp

He brought Lee with him.

"Tenten I missed you so much. When Neji told me what happened I was worried about your youth but you are ok now!"

"Lee get off of me," I laughed, "It's hard to breath in here."

"Hn." I looked over at Neji. He was standing with Sakura, Sai, Shikamaru, and Temari. I walked over to them.

"Hey Neji." I grinned at him. He smirked back as Sakura, who had been staring in the direction I came from, snapped her attention to me.

"Tenten, did you see Sasuke-kun?"

I nodded, "Yep. I saw him."

"How is he?"

"Hungry, I think."

Sakura looked confused, "Why?"

I smirked, "Oh nothing. You guys sure got here fast."

I looked the way Sakura was, and got the feeling that somewhere nearby, Sasuke was waking up to find all the meals he missed lying out in front of him.

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End note: I know that some of this stuff does not match the story line time wise so I have modified this world to suit my purposes.

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