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Food Fight by ShounenSuki

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Suppertime was Zabuza’s favourite time of the day. Even if it was his turn to do the cooking, he still preferred this time over any other time. There was food, the mood was pleasant, and everything was nice and quiet. It was a stark contrast with the usual fighting and killing he did.

Today, it promised to be even better than usual. The evening breeze was pleasant and warm and they had just finished a rather difficult mission with great success. Zabuza had even caught a rabbit, his favourite kind of meat.

He loved the subtle and rich flavour of rabbit and he knew an old family recipe, dating back generations, which would allow him to prepare the rabbit to absolute perfection. He would kill to eat that dish. People that is, the rabbit was a given.

Zabuza kneeled down on the ground and grabbed the bag that held the rabbit. He hadn’t killed it yet, so that the meat would stay nice and fresh. He grabbed a big knife and took the rabbit out of the bag, laying it down on a plate in front of him. He raised the knife, ready to give the rabbit the final blow…

“A bunny! So cute!”

Now there was a word he didn’t hear every day. Two, actually, “cute” being the more common one. It must have been years since he last heard the word “bunny”.
Zabuza turned his head to see where the comment came from. He rolled his eyes when he saw the obvious answer.
“Haku… It’s a rabbit. It’s not cute.”
“It’s a bunny and yes it is!”

Haku trotted to the rabbit and pulled it free from Zabuza’s hands, hugging it tightly. “What are you doing with the bunny Zabuza-san? You scared it!”
Zabuza was silent for a moment and then looked at the knife he was still holding high in the air. “What does it look like?”
“It looks like you were gonna kill the bunny!”
“So you do have some brains…”
“But why? What did the bunny do to you? Is this another mission?”
“Haku… The bun— rabbit is our main course.”
“What do you mean Zabuza-san?”
“How could you not understand that? It’s our supper. We’re going to eat it.”

Haku’s eyes grew wide with shock. “How could you possibly wanna eat a bunny? Bunnies aren’t food!”
Zabuza stared at Haku for a bit. “Yes they are.”
“Nuhuh! You cannot eat bunnies! Never!”
“Haku… I’ve been eating bun— rabbit meat my whole life.”
“No you haven’t! You couldn’t have!”

Zabuza looked at Haku and was amazed to see that Haku wasn’t just shocked to hear Zabuza say he ate rabbit meat, he actually didn’t believe Zabuza. It was as if the whole idea of eating rabbit was as preposterous to Haku as burning water or drinking rocks.
“Haku… Rabbits are edible. They taste delicious, even.”
“How could you even want to eat a bunny?”
“As I said, they taste delicious.”
“They’re too cute to eat! You don’t eat kitties, do you?”
“I’ve eaten cats before.”

Haku was utterly shocked and disappointed with Zabuza. He looked as if his personal god had just come down to earth and kicked him in the crotch. Even Zabuza had trouble seeing Haku like that.
“Listen, we have to eat something. This is all we have right now.”
“I would rather die than eat a bunny!”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“It’s true!”
“You have to eat something. I have to eat something.”
“We still have the fruit we picked yesterday.”
“That’s no supper! We need a hearty meal.”
“It is so! It’s better than eating a poor, innocent, little bunny!”

Zabuza sighed deeply. This was getting far too frustrating. He wondered why he was even having this discussion in the first place. He would never let it have come to this before.
“Haku, it’s my turn to cook, so we’ll eat what I say we’ll eat. Understood?”
“Then I’ll cook!”
“You? You can barely hold your chopsticks.”
“I will! Don’t think I won’t! I’ll cook every night from now on!”

Zabuza stared at the seriousness beaming from the young boy’s face. This was pointless. It would be best for both of them if he would just end this discussion right here and now and force Haku to eat the rabbit. That’s what he would do if any other person caused trouble like this.
“Fine, but tomorrow, I want meat.”
“Okay Zabuza-san.”

Haku’s smile was practically beaming with joy and happiness. He gave the rabbit a kiss on its head and put it down gently next to his bag. He then proceeded to make a meal out of the fruit they had left.
Zabuza just looked at it and sighed. He couldn’t understand why he did what he did, but he knew it was going to cause him a headache in the future. Many headaches, probably. He moved his sight to the rabbit that was now happily eating a piece of lettuce Haku had given it. He sighed again and rubbed his temples. The first headache had appeared. It didn’t hurt quite as much as he expected, though.
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