Reviews For The villiage hidden in the mind
Name: anime_fr3ak (Signed) · Date: 27/09/09 - 12:54 am · For: Chapter 12
Oh, dear lord, Sasuke would be such a douche bag to teach. I can imagine how he would react.
"Do it this way, Sasuke." *shows him the correct way*
"No, that's wrong."
"How is that wrong?!"
"Because I came up with a better way, dobe."
"Well, you're way is STUPID!"
*big fight*
XD Well... that's how he would react to ME teaching him. XD
Anyways, interesting twist although I'm quite sure that Sasuke would not have been take so easily.
7/10
Author's Response: sorry I don't have the writing skills to please everyone, i've only been writing for about 1 year, so i'm not very good yet with details. Yes, these things are from Bleach, but it wasn't my intention at first, my mind just makes things up as it goes along. Glad you like Zabuza, because he will be coming back for revenge.
Name: anime_fr3ak (Signed) · Date: 27/09/09 - 12:46 am · For: Chapter 11
Blllllllllleeeeeeaaaaaach. Lots of Blllllllllleeeeeeaaaaaach. XD
Once again: vague fight scene. Great ideas, though.
7/10
Name: anime_fr3ak (Signed) · Date: 27/09/09 - 12:40 am · For: Chapter 10
Good to see that everyone's getting along. Very vague fight scene, though. *stuffs mouth with paper to keep herself from nagging* =x=
Anyways, cool jutsu! Asuma kinda got his butt kicked there. XD
7/10
Name: anime_fr3ak (Signed) · Date: 27/09/09 - 12:35 am · For: Chapter 9
Ishida and Zaraki, eh? Bleach-a-fied the ninja world up a bit more, did you? XD
I would have been interested in finding out how Yoko and Haru met Sosuke, but beggers can't be choosers. Interesting team!
As for Neji finding out about Sosuke, not surprised, really. Sosuke should have thought about that before he had left. Tsk! Tsk!
8/10
Name: anime_fr3ak (Signed) · Date: 27/09/09 - 12:28 am · For: Chapter 8
Alrighty. What does the Nentoukage look like? Are there headbands? Ect, ect. Man, I am NOT good at not mentioning the lack of details... XD
It's intereting, though. The Mind Village is surrounded by Genjutsu. Very crafty. XD
8/10
Name: anime_fr3ak (Signed) · Date: 27/09/09 - 12:24 am · For: Chapter 7
Ah! Finally! A mention of the Mind village! *high fives you* Sorry about that. I always high five when I get excited. *laughs nervously*
I have to say, I've been ignoring the fact that you have been combining paragraphs. I suppose it makes the multi-pargraph look bigger, but it also makes your characters look like they are talking to themselves.
And the information those people were giving to Sosuke was rather vivid. XD
Very cool! I can't wait to see what the Mind village looks like!
7/10
Name: anime_fr3ak (Signed) · Date: 27/09/09 - 12:18 am · For: Chapter 6
Hmm... Normal review. Great ideas, more details. *covers mouth mouth and mumbles angrily to self*
Glad to see Zabuza. Always thought he was a cool guy. *high fives him*
Zabuza: O_o
7/10
Name: anime_fr3ak (Signed) · Date: 26/09/09 - 11:52 pm · For: Chapter 5
Interesting. I wouldn't have thought that Sosuke would have been alienated that quickly. I wonder how Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi and the others took this. *hinthint* XD
It sad to see Sosuke have to run like that. At least he got out of there without actually having to engage in a battle and becoming an even worse criminal.
7/10
Name: anime_fr3ak (Signed) · Date: 26/09/09 - 11:44 pm · For: Chapter 4
Um... where did Kiba and the others come from? You never even stated that they were there to begin with. Details! XD *slaps my hand* I'm done. XD
Very interesting chapter. Poor Sosuke's dad... At least he was there to help, I suppose. *pats Sosuke on the back*
So, what happened to the others? They didn't react to Itachi and a bunch of missing-nin breaking into Konohagakure? ... *smacks self* I need to stop with this details rant. XD
Interesting twist!
7/10
Name: anime_fr3ak (Signed) · Date: 26/09/09 - 11:35 pm · For: Chapter 3
Yup. Bleach-a-fied ninja! *raises fist into the air* HOO-HAA! XD
Anyways, still lacking details, but I'm not going to nag for the third chapter ina row about because you'll just ignore me if I do. XD
Anyways, great ideas, but more details, please!
7/10
Name: anime_fr3ak (Signed) · Date: 26/09/09 - 11:30 pm · For: Chapter 2
Once again, Bleach reference? Is this character some sort of Bleach-a-fied ninja? XD
Well, at least it would make this interesting. Not a lot of dialog at all and nearly no action to speak of. I'm very glad to see that those attacks at least have some sort of blacklash that the OC in question did not know about. Very good to see that.
But the story is (as I said before) lacking details. If there's no dialog, how are we going to know how this person reacts to certain people? Does he speak with respect to Sasuke? Is he mean to Naruto? Does he find Kakashi ridiculous?
Nice story, but you could add a bit more to it.
7/10
Name: anime_fr3ak (Signed) · Date: 26/09/09 - 11:23 pm · For: Chapter 1
Very interesting beginning... but you made this far too simple and undone. It seems like you skipped tons of things that would have made this more interesting.
For example:
"I sheathed the one I was holding and drew the black one, once I started to channel my chakra through it, I felt a wierd sensation, I could feel my chakra still connected to me even though it was in the sword. Now the hard part, how to get my chakra back? After a while, I figured out that if I imagined the sword as part of my hand, I could focus it the same way I would focus chakra to other parts of my body."
How hard was that? What was this character thinking? Did having the chakra extending out that far have any effect on the characters feelings and if so, what were they? Did it leave him slightly tired? If so, how tired? Things like that.
And it's not just there, but I'll leave it at that.
And did you use ideas from Bleach for the name? Sôsuke (Aizen) and Kuchiki (Rukia, Byakuya, ect.) come from that. Not to mention the blades' colors (black (Ichigo's Bankai) and white (Zangetsu's Bankai))... I could be wrong, but who knows?
Well, I'll be reading the rest of this (unless I get distracted... which happens... a LOT XD), so be looking forward to my reviews... or loathing to read them... XD
8/10
Name: bre2k8 (Anonymous) · Date: 17/08/09 - 05:22 pm · For: Chapter 12
Is this story really completed?From what I read,it doesn't sound like the end.Anyways,it was a great story,and I absolutely loved it.
Name: bre2k8 (Anonymous) · Date: 17/08/09 - 05:14 pm · For: Chapter 11
Wow,I love this story.I hate that the next chapter is the last T-T
Name: bre2k8 (Anonymous) · Date: 17/08/09 - 07:05 am · For: Chapter 10
Great chapter,and I like that she let Sosuke free.Well,I'm going to take a small break on your stories so I can work on my own,so I'll probably be reading it again pretty soon.
Name: bre2k8 (Anonymous) · Date: 17/08/09 - 06:59 am · For: Chapter 9
really good chapter.I love reading your story soooo much!
Name: bre2k8 (Anonymous) · Date: 12/08/09 - 06:00 pm · For: Chapter 8
yeah,that was really short.I really like how you did that.With all the genjutsu and the village name.Quiet clever.
Name: bre2k8 (Anonymous) · Date: 12/08/09 - 05:58 pm · For: Chapter 7
Realization.Just wanted to tell you that's how you spell it,not relisation.Anyways,it was a good chapter,but I think you're chapters are a bit short..Not that that's a problem or anything.
Name: bre2k8 (Anonymous) · Date: 12/08/09 - 05:54 pm · For: Chapter 6
it's really good!I love your story!!!!
Name: bre2k8 (Anonymous) · Date: 12/08/09 - 01:41 pm · For: Chapter 5
Wow,all the people in the Leaf village can be real jerks,but they aren't all the time.Anyways,it was a great chapter.By the way,could you read my new story,Never Too Late?
Name: bre2k8 (Anonymous) · Date: 12/08/09 - 09:55 am · For: Chapter 4
Wow!Great chapter.I'm really really really sorry it took me so long to review again,but I've been busy writing toshiro uzumaki.
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing so much, I've never had so many reveiws before, the next part to Shadow Blades will be up next week.rnrnToshiro Uzumaki is an awesome story but I've been so busy with this story I haven't had much time to read, ideas keep popping into my head.
Name: bre2k8 (Anonymous) · Date: 10/08/09 - 03:42 pm · For: Chapter 3
Correct me if I'm wrong,but you got that idea from the hollowfying on Bleach.oh,by the way,this was a really good chapter.It's really interesting
Author's Response: Actually, that wasn't even what I was thinking about when I typed it, I didn't even think about it that way until the chapter was done.
Author's Response: Actually, that wasn't even what I was thinking about when I typed it, I didn't even think about it that way until the chapter was done. I guess it was kind of subconsious.
Name: bre2k8 (Anonymous) · Date: 09/08/09 - 03:56 pm · For: Chapter 1
Hey,how come you stopped typing Shadow Blade?I really like it.
Author's Response: I'm having trouble with the plot, I already know how it's going to end, I'm just having trouble getting there, another week or 2 and another chapter will be up.
Name: bre2k8 (Anonymous) · Date: 09/08/09 - 03:40 pm · For: Chapter 2
That was really interesting,but it was a bit too short.Don't get me wrong though.There's nothing wrong with that.Plus,it would help to be a bit more descriptive.I'm just saying.There's nothing wrong with it,I promise.It's just a bit more interesting the more you descried it.At least,that's what I think.
Name: bre2k8 (Anonymous) · Date: 09/08/09 - 08:51 am · For: Chapter 1
A little short,but I love what you have so far.By the way,whenever someone's speaking you double space.Ex:
"Wow Sosuke, nice swords!" said Naruto loudly.
"Thanks, I just got them yesterday for passing my test." I said proudly.
At least that's what most people do.And I love the name.It's going to be one of the main characters name on a movie I want to see,Ponyo.
Author's Response: Thank you for the reveiw, and the advice.