Reviews For Beneath the Surface
Name: nkbz (Signed) · Date: 21/07/09 - 08:39 pm · For: Chakradagapra
Really nice, your OC definitely has a strong personality! ++ for poking naked breast *grin* Kakashi tolerates her really well xD. (thank god)
Only criticism is that 2/3rds of the entire chapter was all about training, you could have moved on a bit quicker by having your character explain to the readers the things you went over, until you stumble upon the important stuff like the healing, etc.
Author's Response: Oh, geez, you kept reading! ^^ I'm happy now. :D Well, of course I had to make her poke her breasts, because I'm a perver-...uhm. Let's pretend I didn't say that.
rnAnd thank you for the criticism! I have noticed I have a problem of making long stories about some rather trivial matters and then I wake up and notice I should be writing about something important to storyline instead. ^^'' My mind has a habit of wandering.
rnThank you so much for reading AND reviewing!
Name: nkbz (Signed) · Date: 17/07/09 - 08:22 am · For: Of questions and answers
"Akako" gets special attention in Konoha :P I wonder who she is. Chapter 2 and I still don't anything about the plot and why Kakashi is devoting his time to her.
Author's Response: Well, I don't want to ruin the surprise. Let's just say Akako is someone who had a pretty messed up life and mental state of a crazy person. Actually if you count 1+1 from all the chapters (especially prologue) you can pretty well guess why she has the special attention. I can give you hints from prologue.
rn“We both now the girl is dangerous. She has killed everyone that has crossed her paths, but she's not even the one that I'm worried about. We both now she's controlled by someone or something, so we need her alive!” rn“If you seal her mind, she won't remember anything, neither who she was or what she has done. She shall have total amnesia and then her master can't control her anymore.”
rnAnd of course she is a total Mary Sue.
rnBut hey, thanks for your review! And hopefully you'll come back and read more. :)rn
Name: nkbz (Signed) · Date: 17/07/09 - 08:11 am · For: Prologue
kinky. lol
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 16/07/09 - 06:20 pm · For: Enter Team Gai!
“I don't have underwear”, he said happily. My mouth fell open. He didn't... Oh my dear God. This image wouldn't leave my head ever.
wow mental image.....*eye twitches* well..i lik the chapter i wonder who got the lady....curious very curious..(i no i stole the line from HP 1 whoopie cushion.)
write on!
Author's Response: *laughs* I can imagine people's faces so well when they read that part. *giggle* I know, I'm a bit evil. :( But it's my nature, can't help it. I even used the cliffhanger curse. Again.
rnThank you very much for your review. I wouldn't keep writing without these. :) And I'll definitely write more! See you soon! :D
Name: dalaw (Signed) · Date: 07/07/09 - 04:22 pm · For: Dreamlands
yes! insite! oh god she killed a little girl!?!?! *shivers* any way are you going to do aything about zabuza dying or no? i wish you ould but i think it would be hard to write. anyway good chapter with gai coming on to her.
Author's Response: Well, I can hint that Akako has done quite a lot in her life... And about Zabuza - oh god! I don't know. I really don't. :D I guess I'll just play some rock, paper, scissors and hope that will solve it for me. I totalle agree, it would be hard to write, but then again, oh the drama I could create with it... But hey, thank you for your review and opinion!
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 06/07/09 - 12:51 pm · For: Dreamlands
gag a little at the winning of love part...but im going to hav no room to talk wen i get my story a lil farther along......
Anyway, kakashi sensei's eh??? Zapper prob wont lik tht if u let him live...plz let him live! i dnt thik Akako b stable to hear a guy tht new her past died fightn kakashi...
but good job with the flashbacks and the rest of the chapter write on!!!
Author's Response: Oh, Kakashi is so going to get his butt kicked when he comes back. I can't wait to write about it!rnBut about Zabuza... Gosh, I'm having a real hard time here! It would be just awesome to let him live and so on, but then again, I'm against altering the storylines too much. And then I wouldn't have the great "Akako speaking to dead Zabuza" -parts I was thinking of... Geeeez, this is a hard decision. :D rnrnBut thank you for reviewing! And reading. And everything. :D
Name: Kikyaru360 (Signed) · Date: 06/07/09 - 11:47 am · For: Dreamlands
Awesome!!!! Thanks for the birthday present! I laughed at the end at that little note. That made my day because I can just picture Akako with that angry anime face looking at Kakashi while he did that sweatdrop, and Gai in the background with waterfalls under his eyes! I'm a little hyper right now sorry if I don't make much sense.
Author's Response: Thank you too! :D Now I have that image in my head and I can't stop laughing. Imagine what it is going to be like when Kakashi get's back from Wave country. There's one angry Akako waiting... :D And hyper for the win! Gosh, I think I'm going back to write! This is all too juicy for me to keep my hands off!
Name: Kikyaru360 (Signed) · Date: 25/06/09 - 02:41 pm · For: The Servant
Holy Crap! It was Zabuza! Zabuza! I didn't see that coming! Must read more or brain will fry!
Author's Response: I'm actually amazed that people didn't recognize him as Zabuza. o.O I thought that only the hint 'freaking huge sword' would give him away. :D It seems that I was wrong. You'll have to wait for the next chapter though. >.< I'm going to Tuska Open Air Metal Fest for the weekend to our capital city and I don't have a computer with me there. But I'll start writing as soon as I get back home! ^^
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 25/06/09 - 12:01 pm · For: The Servant
Zabuza.....ooo fairly interesting...i cant wait to see wat hapns..are u going to kill Zabuza in this story? i no another story tht the author didnt kill him....just a thought -curious generated question.
Write On!
crapy joke i no
Author's Response: Oo, thank you for reading and reviewing! ^^ Well, I'm not quite sure yet. I'm against altering the original storylines too much, so probably he'll die. But you'll never know what my evil mind creates. :D So, can't be sure yet.
Name: Kikyaru360 (Signed) · Date: 22/06/09 - 09:19 pm · For: Familiar place, familiar face
Wow. I WANT MORE!!!! This is really interesting, and I'm putting it on my favorites. By the way, sorry about not updating in a while, but I should be doing that today or tomorrow. Anyway, I'm addicted. (:
Author's Response: Omg, thank you so much! :D I never thought I'd be on anyone's favourites. ^^'' Gee, thanks a lot! :D And I'm eagerly waiting for your update. ^^ Gosh, this is turning to be a good week after all. :D And I'm going to update soon too. I've already written some of the next chapter and I'm going to finish it probably later today. ^^
Name: Miki Everless (Signed) · Date: 17/06/09 - 07:40 am · For: Familiar place, familiar face
Update soon; I'm hooked.
9/10! (If it weren't for the grammatical errors, 10/10.)
Author's Response: Oh, a new reviewer! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! ^^ And yes, I'll try to update as soon as possible. :D Yep, I know there are grammatical errors, but since I'm not a native speaker, it sometimes really hard for me to spot them. And I haven't found a suitable beta reader yet. >.<
Name: dalaw (Signed) · Date: 16/06/09 - 12:08 pm · For: Familiar place, familiar face
Oh lord mystery people from forgotten memories always fun. I really want to find out who he is plz update soon.
Author's Response: You can actually guess who he is. There are some hints. ;) But yeah, I'll try to update soon. ^^
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 16/06/09 - 07:50 am · For: Familiar place, familiar face
ooooo the cliff hanger curses!! write soon i hate cliff hangers! Write on!
crapy joke i no!
Author's Response: Aa, I know, I have to make cliff hanger! I LOVE THEM. *evil laugh* But yes, I'll try to write the next chap as soon as possible. :D
Name: ItachiUchihaLover (Signed) · Date: 05/06/09 - 02:01 pm · For: Silence before the storm
LMAO! rainbow duster. nice. perfect. lol
um about the beta reader. there is a link to a website that is where you can get a beta reader on the home page of this web site. It is really good.
Great story though! I cant wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! Nice to know that you liked this one. ^^rn
About the beta reader directory... Well. I tried it. I found only one "suitable" beta reader, and it would've taken about 2 weeks for her to review about 4000 words. So, that doens't really fit me. :| Or then I'm just stupid and don't know how to use the directory. :DD
Name: DropDeadThenDance (Signed) · Date: 04/06/09 - 01:50 pm · For: Silence before the storm
HA HA!! This chapter was totally awesome!! Favorite part was probably here:
“Must be my lucky day. Well, can't judge a book by it's cover.” Then I looked at Kakashi's book and felt my mood lower. “Then again, yes I can.”
OMG!! You mentioned me!! Oh crap that rhymed!!! Ha ha, anyway, again awesome chapter!
See ya~!!
Author's Response: Oh thank you! ^_^ I actually decided, I'd make this chapter a more humorous one, since the chapter before was very gore. I like variety! ^^rnI had to mention you! Your picture was awesome! ^^ :D OMG, YES I DIIIII..d. Didn't rhyme so well. :( See ya! And thanks for reviewing!
Name: dalaw (Signed) · Date: 03/06/09 - 06:24 pm · For: Silence before the storm
lol i loved the ending it made me laugh.
Author's Response: I'm happy to know that. ^^ Thank you for reviewing!
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 03/06/09 - 04:31 pm · For: Silence before the storm
lol...muffled giggles...rainbow colored duster...thts sooo funny! i like her saucy attiude WRite On!
(crapy joke i no, its a writer's joke)
Author's Response: I'm glad it was funny. ^___^ Thank you for reviewing!
Name: Kikyaru360 (Signed) · Date: 03/06/09 - 02:16 pm · For: Silence before the storm
Heh. heh, sasuke and the rainbow colored duster. That's just funny.
Author's Response: I had to. :D I just had to.
Name: DropDeadThenDance (Signed) · Date: 02/06/09 - 09:51 am · For: The first nightmare
That was so sweet at the end there! I loved it!! SO MUCH!!! Wow, seriously you amaze me! Sorry I haven't reviewed in so long, wow I regret it now! Again, great stuff in here!
I'm working on some fan-art pieces for some people right now, would you like one? I ask because I care! No wait... Wrong line! Um... Oh never mind! Do you want a picture or not? Go to my page and hit the 'Contact' thing and tell me please, kay?
See ya later!!!!!
Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much for reviewing! ^__^ And I hit the 'contact'-thingie. ;D Would love to have fan-art pieces. ^^ rnThank you for reading and definitely see ya later! :D
Name: ItachiUchihaLover (Signed) · Date: 01/06/09 - 09:57 am · For: The first nightmare
great story! I love it! lol I thought I was one of the only writers that like to write scary gory stories. lol guess I was wrong. Hurry with the next chapter!
Oh and you might want to get a beta-reader or something. There is a lot of spelling/grammer errors in the story.
You said you can't help it, because you are not native to this language so getting a beta-reader would help you a lot.
I like how you decide her dream. It makes me feel like I'm really there.
xD
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Omg, a new reviewer! ^^ Thank you for reading. And as for the scary stories go, this is my second one. :D And the first one in English. I'll try my best to hurry. And because I have my summer holidays now, I guess I can hurry. ;)rnAnd yep, beta-reader would save my ass. <3 Would love to have one. The only problem is, I don't know anyone who could do it. :D Well, my boyfriend could, but I'm not going to let him read my Naruto-fics. He already calls me a total narutard and facepalms when I tell him I'm writing. rnBut yeh, I'm on my quest to find a suitable betareader and hopefully, someday, I'll find one! It would really help a lot.rnAgain, thanks for reviewing! :D Made my day. ^_^
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 31/05/09 - 09:17 am · For: The first nightmare
i feel sorry for the girl plz write more im very curious about her...
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing and yes, I'll definitely write some more. ^_^
Name: Kikyaru360 (Signed) · Date: 29/05/09 - 03:37 pm · For: The first nightmare
Well, that was....unexpected. I feel really sad for Akako now. I keep reading dark fics for some reason. Anyway, is this a Kakashi/OC fic? I seem to be reading those a lot more lately too. Sorry for my rambling, but that was good. Scary as hell, and a little too gory for my tastes, but good.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you for reviewing! And yes, it was unexpected, but it worked. At least I hope so. rnAbout Kakashi/OC, well... Yes. I'm not yet quite sure how the story will turn out, but the sparkles between Akako and Kakashi are going to do something with it. Hmm, my response was very clear...rnPersonally, this is the second time I'm writing dark/horror/all-is-fucked-up -fick so it's nice to know that I did something right. ^^ So thank you and please keep reading. :)
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 25/05/09 - 10:43 am · For: Chakradagapra
lmao!!! kakashi is truly sumen and this girl i like her moods, there awesome keep writing
Author's Response: Oh, thank you again, for reviewing! ^_^ Although, I'm not sure what you mean by "sumen". o.O But still, thank you. ^^ It's nice to know the characters are funny and people want to read about them. :)
Name: Kikyaru360 (Signed) · Date: 18/05/09 - 06:02 pm · For: Who are you?
I liked it. Hope you keep going. Sorry, I keep pointing out mistakes, but I'm a perfectionist. and a hypocrite. a weird combination. anyway "She stood in front of the door with a teddy bear in his hand." his should be her.
Can't wait to find out more about Akako!
Author's Response: Omg, what a mistake. I'm actually a little bit embarrased right now. ^^'' :D I'll definitely fix it and thank you for pointing it out. Jeez, I was learning those things when I was nine, I should know how to use them already...
rnBut yes, thank you for reading. ^^ Reviews make my day! =^_^=
rnI'll definitely write more. Hopefully without mixing his and her again...
Name: AikoMatsuo (Signed) · Date: 17/05/09 - 08:52 am · For: Who are you?
love it amzing keep it up
Author's Response: Oh, a new reviewer! :o Thank you so much for reading AND reviewing. ^^ This made my day.