Cheesy, yeah. But oh so heart warming. That was so cute.
HA. Oh dumb sasuke. I'm glad that greif is over with
I am going to cry....
Im so angry! Why did Naruto do that to poor sasuke!? blwahg
...
"I can’t pretend I don’t have a heart when it breaks so much each time I wake up."
TnT
Bleh, sasuke is probably a terrible bar tender. No wise ear for the drunken soul.
good read
Sasuke is so feme. lol, i love it when they live together.
Aw poor sasuke. I loved it, good read.
I did enjoy it! I've read many fics narrated out of sasuke's head and it can be difficult and boring to do, but this is a fun story so far. I am excited to read the rest.
Excellent opening, left me very intrigued. Am excited to read the rest!
I've read all that you have posted up here so far...and I must agree, since it has been said before, that you totally capture Sasuke's character. I find the way that your interpret his mind to be amazing; it totally just meshes along with his character design. I'm completely in awe of this story...it makes me feel like my writing is so minute to this; that I have a lot to learn. Your writing pulls the reader in...and just, wow. This is completely amazing, and I'm so happy I stumbled upon it c:
Author's Response:Aww, thank you Xd that's so nice. This story gets hardly any reviews so I appreciate you saying that you like it. You've just inspired me to get along with writing the next chapter. I hope you continue to enjoy it.
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Yay! you updated!!
please write again soon!! xDD
I new here~
I have to start this review with how well you were able to capture the character's personalities. Its astonishing how well I can imagaine Sasuke being emotionless and having inner-conflicts with himself. Meanwhile Naruto who is a very funny character can be expressed in such an mature manner. I'm truly in love with your writting style and in my opinion you have capture, what I call the perfect fic. I say it is perfect because you weren't only able to keep the story flowing but I love the plot and storyline you have created. You were also able to keep the readers attention, focused on the main couple even though there were other characters you were still able to create a fun atmopshere where the side characters aren't annoying nor pointless.
I have just finished reading chapter 6 and I like how we see Sasuke struggle with his dreams meanwhile Naruto trying to calm him down. There is a subtle message of Naruto's feelings that makes many readers anxious for the next chapter. My only complaint is I feel that Sasuke is too feminant in some ways.
I hope to see the next chapter soon but not to soon. An author who paces his or her updates is an author who writes when passion occurs :)
Author's Response: I just have to say thank you for the marvellous review! I do love fics that don't branch off too much onto other people who I don't really know or like lol so it's always good to know I'm not doing it myself.
I have to say I've had my worries about making Sasuke too feminine, however, I'm not too sure what to do about it, since the aspects I haven't noticed yet. I just hope it doesn't get worse, but better. Otherwise my mind will blow up!
Yeah, I can sometimes take a while to update but I always get there in the end! Thanks again for the wonderful review! Constructive criticism is always good to get.
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Your chapters are very... satisfying. They're long with a lot happening in them, which sorta makes up for late updating. ^^
Anyway, doing this in constant first person (which is impressive to me, by the way, I have a hard time with that ^^') makes Secret Love even more interesting. Like you said before, Sasuke is a very confused person, and I think I've said this before, but you portray that so well without confusing the reader. Really, you have such talent, it's amazing. ^^
Hmm... again, there's not much else to say. I swear I could sing your praises, but I've done enough of that. Just know that you and your writing is incredible, I love it, and I can't wait for the next chapter. ^^
Author's Response:Thank you! It's always good to hear that your work is appreciated.
First person Narrative seems to be what I'm most comfortable with. I never really noticed before because this is the first fic where I've done it so much, but even when I write thirst person Narrative, it kind of sounds like first person. I only ever really focus on one persons thoughts at a time...I don't know if it's a good thing or bad lol
The next chapter certainly won't take as long as this one did! I am sure of it! Thank you for the review!
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^_^ I like! Can;t wait to read more!
I agree, people are really lacking in the reviewing department these days. >.< Annoying.
But anyway! This was a good chapter, as usual. My favorite so far, actually. Because I love how sensitive Sasuke gets at the end (as well as the last line when Naruto comments about the window- funny!) and how he seemed like such a housewife when he was cleaning...
Again, I love how your portraying Sasuke's feelings for Naruto. It's so subtle and so natural.
I really don't know what else to say because in my opinion, this chapter is beyond words. ^^
Keep it up.
Author's Response: Hehe thank you C= I'm so glad your enjoying it! I liked how Sasuke got at the end too, even though it came out of nowhere. I didn't even see it coming myself...but it felt right so I went with it C=
And I certainly will be keeping it up. Look out for the next chapter, it will be here soon!
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I don't know what to say anymore. Honestly, you're writing is amazing. The style and description-especially the description.
In all honesty, if I didn't love this story so much, I might be jealous. ^-^
Because it's so hard to go into such detail like that without boring the reader, or yourself for that matter.
I know I already said you and your writing and this story are all brilliant, but that's how it is. Brilliant, amazing, incredible, what ever words of praise you can think of, are perfect for you and this story.
Yes, well, that's all I have to say at this point. ^-^
I really enjoyed this chapter. Sasuke was interesting as usual and Naruto's character is developing.... I can't wait for the next chapter. ^-^
Author's Response: Thank you! Next chapter will be on it's way soon! C=
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I'm sorry you're not getting enough reviews.. that sucks, especially 'cause this story is really good.... I'm dissappointed in reader. Grr.
^-^ Anyway, this was another great chapter for me. Yes, Sasuke's thoughts are contradictory, but that's how he is, especially now in the situation he's in, and it's perfect that he's like that. What amazes me is that you're able to write his thoughts out so nicely that readers are not only able to understand and follow his trail of thinking, but they also really feels is emotions, his confusion, and everything else he feels!
I may have said that before... but really, you're a brilliant writer and again, I love this story. So... great job. ^-^
Author's Response:Readers on Tonfa don't seem to review near as much as they used to...for any story and it's a shame. Thank you for reviewing though, I really do appreciate it!
I'm glad I'm portraying his emotions, even though they are confusing! I see him as a very confused person though. Not that anyone can blame him with his brother and all that...
Anyways...I'm really glad you're enjoying it.
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Oh my God, this was amazing!
Great first chapter, or prologue, or whatever, but I loved it. I like you writing style, it's obviously developed- I'll admit, it seemed a little stiff or under-descriptive at times, but I still think you did brilliantly.
You had great transitions, and Sasuke's thoughts were described beautifully and easy to follow and understand while still feeling the emotions.
I loved when he was fighting with himself over what to do about Naruto, the conflict was written perfectly!
Seriously, I think this story will be great.
I understand how you feel, I always start my stories knowing the beginning and my end, I just never know how to get there. ^-^
Anyway, again, great job, I loved it, and I hope to see more soon!
Author's Response:Thank you! Oh how I love to get reviews! hehe...this is my first time writing in constant first person, but I have done it before a little; I'll admit, I actually tried to cut back on the description as in my previous story I was critiqued on the amount of description I gave - supposedly too much...so i tried to cut back. It seems I'll just need to work more on finding the right balance.
I'm hoping only knowing the beginning and end will give me more inspiration to keep going with it. In my last fic, because I knew all the time what was going to happen, it made me want to change things and alter the storyline and I messed up big time...so I'm trying a different approach and hopefully this will work out for me!
Thanks again for the comment! I'll hopefully have the second chapter up soon!
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