it is a new a idea on a story type that is used a lot and i like it, though i thinks it to short. also its little slow on the up take of the story but if you make it longer it will be a great story on Tonfa

Author's Response: I am open to suggestions and I am almost always thinking about how it will go next. I had an idea when I wrote it but the first time I tried to post it said it wasn't long enough so I had to restart, but I had forgotten it by then.