I loved this story it is very well written a and entertaining and I would hope you continue writing this fantastic story.
So here's the scoop, I love it! I've never encountered a fanfiction like this and well, I've always wanted to be in the 'Naruto' world, so this is as good as it gets. I would be disappointed if you didn't continue this honestly. I wish there was an actual game like this! (Insert peter Griffin meme 'why aren't we funding this' here) All in all, know somebody is enjoying this(: Just a little snippet of motivation!
I like the idea on the shadow justu but, I feel it could’ve used a little more explanation on how the Hokage came to the conclusion that she had a shadow clone in that world. Also it just seems a little convenient that the two also just accepted that fact and didn’t question why that was so, where was the original her for all this time and how the devil did she have justu on for so long…I mean that justu is very draining and to have it on for what I’m going to guess is a school year amount at least is quite a feat. Even though I liked the sequence of the releasing of the shadow clone; why did it have to be painful? If it was always painful to release why the devil would anyone do it like Naruto for large amount of their shinobi career? I know how useful it is but dang, that would suck if it hurt like that every time you release it; it’s realistic for you are in fact making two of you so in a perspective splitting yourself up and then bringing yourself back together, it’s just the thought makes me shutter. Overall it seems just a little too opportune for the protagonist. I love the fact however to save some face, you let the lady not remember the exam part and that she doesn’t know the plot of the story very well. That will be fun to read if done right. I can’t wait for the next part.
Hmm…I like how this is going; decisions, decisions =). I like how the chapter was, simple; didn’t need additions to make it better *never hurts X3 I’m just a girl for detail I fear, sorry if it irks you, it’s just how I love to read. I read too many classic books like Jane Eyre and expect a bit of the same amount of quality from authors that do not have that type of training or desire to try for that type of writing, gomen*. Moving on, to greater chapters,
Sincerely an interested reader,
Oh I like the choice decisions at the end. It’s very interesting way to do a fiction; it reminds me of Goosebumps very fondly. I loved reading those stories for you can always get a new ending or path to try out, never really getting bored with the book (story). I also see however how difficult this can get for you. Having to constantly think about the different paths and how each one must develop or how they might or might not cross, etc; it’s just invigorating to think about! *laughs*
Any way I like how this is going, I’m not feeling a need to be a critic on the chapter, the way its structured is quite nice I do say though, it could use a little more detail in the way the characters are, just a bit; let the reader feel like they can get into the characters head from either first or third POV they choose to read, or the second if they like trying to balancing the thought process. I shall read on; cheers!
I have to start off to say this is a different type of fanfiction than what I’m use to. I had to read your reviews to understand that the story was in second POV; I’ve never seen an author write in such a way, usually either third or first only no hybrids (second). I have to say I think the transaction between the worlds could’ve been done smoother and with more details in how it goes and in the second paragraph first sentence “you made to turn off the TV” is awkward to me, in a grammar perspective.
Mah, moving on, the whole style of writing is odd and usual to me so it is hard to really give feedback that doesn’t contradict in how its suppose to be. I do like it; don’t get me wrong, it’s just new to me. Any way I look forward to your future chapters and how they pan out.
Hope you'll update soon! I really like your style in writing. :)moreee
Thank God this is posted on another site! I was worried than Luna shutting down would be the end of this story! Thank you very much.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much for your support and I'm very flattered you found me here! Unfortunately, I'm probably the least active here both generally and for this story, so updates can be found on gotvg.net if you're interested. Again, thank you for your support and review! ♥
Woo! I love it! Can't wait for Chapter 104
Author's Response: Yay, thanks so much! :'D
how you you been?
Author's Response: Good, thanks! :3
Hi I'm the one who said they got ideas from your story for mine, I was wondering how you make a choose your own adventure story in the first place? Do all the chapters link in places? Have you planned them out in your head beforehand? I'm probably not getting to another large fanfic for a while as saying mine is going to be three mini volumes long, but I was just curious and interested. Maybe one day I'll make one. :) Thanks again!
Author's Response: Hi there! For me, I started out with a plan that I wanted the reader to fall into the world, and gain some ninja training experience via shadow clone. Everything else, I sort of made it up as I went along. Eventually, I realized it would be a cool plot twist to add in Obito, and so that happened. Depending on the path, there are some that are planned out beforehand, such as, for example, Chapter 42. I had that idea in my head for the longest time, and I've pre-written Chapter 68 before I uploaded the ones before it, if that makes sense. And Chapters 101 and 102 are also already written, even though I haven't got to that part yet.
Also, yes, some chapters link because it makes it easier and less messy to write. Like for example, both Chapter 5 and Chapter 2 can link to Chapter 3, as well as there are several chapters that go to Chapter 22. I hope this makes sense! Writing something like this is an amazing experience, I wish you the best of luck!
You are a genius. Do you understand? Genius. The story that I'm going through is actually a lot like the one I'm writing but I've gotten a lot of inspiration from it. Thank you thank you thank you for writing this excellent fanfic! Much luck and I hope you continue!
Author's Response: Eee, oh my goodness, this review made me smile like there's no tomorrow. Ooh, that's really awesome! My work has never inspired anyone before, and I'm flattered. Thanks so much for reading! I'm glad you like it, and I definitely shall! [got lazy with the chapter-uploading for a few months, I'm still working on it, I swear! I have this story up on several sites, and I keep forgetting certain ones in my haste c;]
Very interesting training exercise. I'm just not sure regular genin could do it because of the difficulty Naruto and Sasuke had completing the tree climbing exercise. Still, interesting nevertheless. I greatly enjoyed this chapter and loved reading about Team 8. No! Bad person! No attacking precious Hinata.
Author's Response: I'm glad you think so! I interpreted Naruto's and Sasuke's difficulty as caused by their own hefty chakra reserves, poor chakra control, and too-strong desire to beat each other. But Sakura though, did it easily, and I feel that with Shino's guidance, the rest of Team 8 should have little problem with it. Though, that's just my interpretation. I'm happy it was enjoyable!
Rather than wait I decided to take another path as well =P. In the end it just gives me more fun. So this is the course that lets me choose? Sweet! And I know exactly what team I want to go with. Hehe. So Naruto and Sasuke were saved of that fate? And Naruto of a beating XD. Now, off to join my team. Yeah!
Author's Response: Aha, that's always fun! Yep, as long as you pass the exams, you'll be able to pick. Yep, the reader is too kindhearted to let it happen, knowing that it would. :D
Why does this story not have more reviews?! Good core thought, keep it up!
Author's Response: Aha, thank's so much! *hugs* <3
Gosh, that was more than I was expecting because of the chapter 23 thing. But I enjoyed every second of it!
The exercise with [Name] sure was different. I mean, they actually passed the first time. There was no secret test or anything. And she did a nice job rounding up Naruto and Sakura. If only Sasuke had followed her to help out Naruto XD. Instead he ended up in the ground.
The unconscious thing was amazing and shocked me, though to a point reminded me of my Nemuri Promise challenge. Anyway, it was a great twist and explained how everything is, like, how it is. I wonder why it is she forgot the Obito thing, though.....
Hehe. Cool-Kid-Wannabe was put n the post. So what he deserves XD. Okay, I like him, but torturing him is just so much fun.
Great update. Can't wait for more.
Aha, yeah, chapter 23 sure does add a large chunk of plot, but I'm glad you enjoyed it! :p
Yep, they only passed because they worked together though, which was the thing Kakashi wanted and the reason why he gave them that second test. Sasuke should've swallowed his pride. >D
Hehe, it explains a lot, but not everything - I'm leaving that for some plot divergence~ ^^
And yes, of course. Sasuke definitely deserved that, the arrogant lump. Though he's cool, just too arrogant. xD
Clicking the 48 doesn't seem to be working XD.
Gah, now I can't find out what [Name] does. So it was Sasuke, huh? Interesting. And he wants to work with her? Big blow to the pride there. Though a boost to [Name]'s. wonder what he'll do when I refuse and have her jump to Naruto's aid.....
Author's Response: Ah, yes, the I haven't uploaded chapter 48 yet. xD But I shall update a couple of chapters soon, I think. Yep, because he recognizes that it's probably the only way to get a bell, to work with someone else. But of course, being Sasuke, he's doing it very, very grudgingly. Ahaha, I can only imagine! c;
Well, mostly canon stuff, but why is she forgetting what happens next? Is something wrong with her memory? Crap. She's been tapped. Wonder if it's Kakashi or someone else..... Only one sH to find out I guess.
Author's Response: Yep, most of it is directly copied dialogue from the anime itself, I was too lazy to rewrite the plot too drastically from the beginning, because that could change everything in the future too much. Aha, you noticed! :D Yes, something is definitely off.
Sweet! [Name] knows the shadow clone jutsu now, huh? Wonder how she'll use it. After all, unlike Naruto, she doesn't have an amazing storage of chakra. I think? Anyway, can't wait to see how the bell test goes. I'm sure it'll prove very interesting v
Author's Response: Yep, now she's a little more prepared for the bell test compared to earlier. ^^ Yep, she doesn't have anything special when it comes to her chakra storage, so she'll have to earn it. And yes indeed. :D
Nice little battle between Mizuki. It was realistic, and even if it left [Name] really hurt, it led to her passing as well. That's always good. So team 7, huh? Guess the way one wasn't able to pick the team. Oh well.
Holy son of a gun 0.0. The dream. Obito? Calling her Rin? What is going on? Why is he in her dreams? Gah! I wanna know! Definitely did not see this one coming.
Author's Response: Aha, I figured it would be quite impossible for a fresh-out-of-the-Academy genin, who literally just became a ninja a day ago to beat a chuunin, no matter how egotistical and arrogant I make him out to be. Yep, otherwise she'd probably end up going back to the Academy, and that wouldn't be fun to read, eh? :p Yep, the path where [Name] fails is the only one where you can't really choose your team. And yay! I tried to set it up in a way so that it was the last thing one would expect, I'm glad you're surprised! ^^ re
Darn, [Name] is right. The only way for him to pass is to let him go through a painful situation. Not cool XP. Necessary, though I guess. Wow. Mizuki would have made it big as an actor. Maybe he should have been rather than a ninja =P. though that would make him a fantastic spy.... Anyway, great chapter. Very eager to see what I make [Name] do next.
Author's Response: Bahaha, yep. All those pretending-to-be-good-guys villains would make pretty good actors, considering they fool even the most perceptive people, the ninjas in the story. Aha, if he were an actor rather than a ninja, the whole Narutoverse would be drastically altered. That sounds like fun! :'D
Wow. Starting to regret that choice. I can actually imagine the pain I'd actually feel from this and it's just not nice. I'm curious as to Mizuki's reaction. Was he happy because she was passing or did he know she'd/I'd/you'd (so confused @_@) fail?
More fun choices...... Eenie meanie minie moe XD
Author's Response: Yep, I know right? I can definitely relate to the reader because I'd totally do something like that in real life. D: Ooh, Mizuki is a sneaky character, he's happy because he knows that Iruka would never pass her, and he's trying to win her trust like he did with Naruto. >D
Hehe. Both Kiba and Naruto, huh? Both extremely awesome characters in my opinion. I love them both. Glad to see they're my(?) friends. So, I get to choose if or if not I know the hurst? Gah, decisions decisions....... Guess I'll just go with what I'll think will lead to the most fun =P.
Author's Response: Aha, yep! Well for those two, you don't really get to choose. xD Yep, of course!
This interactive story is very fun. I like it! Update soon! :)
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you think so, and I shall! :D
So it was a shadow clone, huh? That is really quite interesting. It also explains a lot. It also makes me wonder why she had a Shadow Clone in the Narutoverse and how she ended up in our world. Even if some things have been answered, I still have quite a few questions. I'm really eager to see more choices. I didn't expect a CYOA story to be so much fun, but it is quite interesting and leaves me excited for the next choice. It must have been hard having all a life's experience suddenly entering one body. Poor [Name]. Oh well - at least now she's partially ready for the Naruto world. But that doesn't mean more fun isn't to ensure ^.^ Just have to see where that fun will go.
Author's Response: Yepyep! It explains some things, and shinobi-fies the reader a bit so she's on even ground. Of course, there are many things yet to be explained coming in due time. Hehe, I do particularly enjoy keeping readers in the dark...sort of. Ah, I'm very pleased it's been an enjoyable experience so far! And yes, especially because these experiences are definitely not what one is used to living on earth. Yep, now she doesn't need to go through grueling Academy training for years, lucky girl! :D