TONFA
The Original Naruto Fanfic Archive

Main Categories

Het Romance [1093]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around different sex couples.
Alternate Universe & Crossovers [650]
Where cast of the Naruto Universe are inserted into an alternate universe.
Essays & Tutorials [18]
An area to submit intelligent essays debating topics about the Naruto Universe and writing tutorial submissions.
 
General Fiction [1740]
Any Naruto fanfiction focused without romantic orientation, on a canon character in the current Naruto Universe.
OC-centric [869]
Any Naruto fanfic that has the major inclusion of a fan-made character.
Non-Naruto Fiction [293]
Self-evident
 
Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance [1575]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around male same sex couples.
MadFic [201]
Any fic with no real plot and humor based. Doesn't require correct spelling, paragraphing or punctuation but it's a very good idea.
 
Shojo-ai/Yuri Romance [106]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around female same sex couples.
Fan Ninja Bingo Book [126]
An area to store fanfic information, such as bios, maps, political histories. No stories.
Juvi-Fics [2]
Because no fic is deleted, if a fic doesn't abide by the rules of the category or author doesn't respond to mods, it belongs here.
 
 

Site Info

Members: 11539
Series: 261
Stories: 5907
Chapters: 25614
Word count: 47841643
Authors: 2171
Reviews: 41261
Reviewers: 1761
Newest Member: dgrlcd
Challenges: 255
Challengers: 193
 



Name: coolninjaboy (Signed) · Date: 06/03/15 - 09:28 pm · For: Suspicions
can i be in the story?

Author's Response: Haha what do you mean?


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 11/01/15 - 10:59 am · For: Restitution
HI! Geez, it's been a while since I've been able to read your story/ read on this site in general. But I finally found some time to!

This chapter was great. It's awesome how much Ikari improved and he finally got the hang of wind chakra nature. Awesome! That was such a twist with Baki, and I liked how you added him into your story. No one ever really writes about him. Gosh, Ikari's powers are just getting better and better, and it's cool to imagine him being able to swirl different natures together. Also, I found it a bit amusing how at the end of the fight with the twins, he's just like, "Alright, I did my job. Thanks for everything. It looks like you can take care of the rest so I'm just going to go. Bye!" haha, but it was still nice to read.

Well, good job with this! I'll be moving onto the next. I can't wait to see what happens when he enters Konoha.

Author's Response: Hey there! Long time no see eh? I'm glad you did though! Yeah I thought I would add Baki in like that because I rarely see stuff involving him. Oh yes, combining these different natures is so fun and I have so much more in store for that. Haha yes! He was like alright well im not needed so.... peace! Thank you thank you :) I'm glad to see your still around and I hope I'll be seeing an update on your story soon enough ;)


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 15/12/14 - 03:45 pm · For: Turn the Page
Okay, finally reviewing this. Anyway, as I've said before, I absolutely love the interaction between Yukio and Ikari. I'm glad Ikari isn't alone. Even if, ya know, the guy traveling with him tried to kill him and may be able to at any moment. Man, how I love how I made Yukio XD. Slightly OP, but considering his circumstances, he kinda needs to be. Though so far his flaws haven't shown through. Wonder when they will... Sorry, kinda rambled there. It's pretty cool that the duo is in Konoha. I won't what you'll do with them now ;)

Anyway, this was a great chapter. I loved the fight scene between Yukio and Ikari. I like how you used it to show a bit of Ikari's past. It was a nice way to bring us back a bit to the sad childhood he had. And way to go Ikari - actually hurting Yukio a bit. Nice XD


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 04/11/14 - 09:43 am · For: Omens of the Past
YUKIO! Oh my gosh, I can't believe he has entered XD. I had my suspicions once I noticed the guy staying in the shadows, then he drew the sword and it's just like yup, there's my precious little killer. But still, YUKIO! Yes, I am fully aware how idiotic I am acting, but I can't help it. I just saw an oc of mine appear in a totally epic story.

The fight scene was pretty epic. I wasn't expecting Yukio to kick so much butt honestly, but that just made it seem even more awesome. Despite this Ikari did pretty well fighting back in what seemed like a nearly-one-sided fight. It was great to see his passion and fire burn so brightly here. It reinforced the will we already knew was there in a great way. Then Ikari used his own little Talk-no-Jutsu XD Yikes. They've made his list. Not the smartest of people.

You've made Ikari interested in him. If only he knew the full scale of what Yukio is up against XD. I'm curious as to if that will ever come to light since you have Ikari being curious, or if you're going to leave Yukio's situation in the dark. I definitely did not see them joining up seeing as Yukio just, well, tried to murder Ikari, but it's an awesome twist and I'm excited to see where it goes. You did a fabulous job, Itoko-san. I'm eager to read more ^.^

Author's Response: This is why I didn't wanna talk to you about Yukio :P I kinda wanted to surprise you. I'm glad you enjoyed his appearance he is a character I can work with really well. I figured since Yukio is 13th he would be able to do some serious damage. Ikari could barely fight back. I thought it would be different to instead of using fists to solve the fight, Ikari could use his words to realize that not everything is settled in battle. I also figured since Yukio despises being lied to I could use that to Ikari's advantage since they both have been betrayed. I'm looking forward to using Yukio and Ikari as a team. I'm glad you read and reviewed, thats what keeps the story going. Thank you!


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 04/11/14 - 09:07 am · For: Restitution
Wow. Nice amount of words, Itoko-san. Definitely a lot more than your usual. Though that just means I got more to read. Of course, it's a double update, but still. You get my point.

Nice. Ikari has mastered wind release ^.^. Then again, with someone who drills him as much as Temari apparently did, it's not surprising. At least with her persistence, he grew pretty fast. Then again, he himself is awesome, so that could be it... Neither way, yay, wind is mastered.

No! How dareth they trick Baki like that? It is just not right. Though I am curious as to why and just who they are. Hopefully that will be clarified? Or were they just random one-time opponents? I am curious. They acted like something big was occurring or something. The fight scene was quite epic. New developments. Ikari using the sand? Yikes. Just what all can this Kekkei Dota do? The more power it comes with, the more I honestly keep expecting something to go wrong. That may just be me, though. Awww. Not even a goodbye to the Sand Siblings :( But I guess that is the easiest way.

Kino! For reasons I have already explained to you, I love that name XD. Also the fact it's where I got the name Kina, which I didn't mention. It's nice to see Ikari back with his friend. He's had people around, but not that he let close. Kino knows his past and everything, so yeah. Also, I'm sensing something off with his mother. You have something planned, but what is the question? Hm... Ooh. Fire Country *^* Fun fun. Definitely excited to see how this goes. Amazing update, Itoko-san.

Author's Response: Thank you thank you! I was incredibly surprised on how many words came out lol. Im even surprised I managed to churn out a double update. Yes he has mastered it :D I knew Temari would be the perfect trainer for him because of how much of a hardass she is. Yes I enjoyed typing that fight scene very much because I wanted to spring one more element of Kekkei Dota into the mix. It's a bit different writing with Kekkei Dota because unlike a jinchuriki whos powers come out every once in a while, Kekkei Dota is always activated the only problem is that it isn't controlled. I thought him being able to use sand would show how complex this mutation is and how it deals with all the elements. Kino yes! I'm glad you like him. You'll just have to keep reading if you wanna find out ;P. Fire Country shall be fun considering it is the largest village. Thank you for the kind words!


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 15/09/14 - 11:04 am · For: Blood Diamonds
Wow. I'm just so happy that spider was crushed. But this fight scene was absolutely epic. The Kekkei Dota keeps unlocking new abilities. It was like a type of elemental aura around Ikari. It's kind of like... Never mind. I'll let you see that one for yourself ;). But I do enjoy watching it as it gradually becomes greater and greater. It's very interesting. Just what else can he unlock? Quite a few things were shown just during his time in the Sand Village.

Awww. He got a headband from Gaara. Considering how this all started, that is so nice. Then again, he did do a lot for them. I mean, it takes a lot to crash through a spider's body.... Yuck XP. Anyway, then to patch things up with Kankuro T^T So awesome.

This was an epic chapter, Shizake-san, and I apologize if this review was shorter. I read this yesterday and lost my thoughts from then. Mostly. I did keep the fight scene that formed in my head between Kina and Ikari, though XD

Author's Response: Yeah it's pretty fun to create these scenes and really get creative with the Kekkei Dota. Haha what does that mean I'll find out? I have awesome things planned for what he'll truly unlock. Haha yeah i wanted to bridge the gap between him and the sand siblings. Hey don't worry about the length of the review, any length of review is always appreciated. I'm glad you enjoyed and thanks for the review :D


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 01/09/14 - 04:35 pm · For: Gust
Sheesh. Ikari really is pushing his body to the limit. I mean, I understand he's determined, but if he destroys his body, how does he expect to be in a good enough condition to avenge his siblings? Though wind release does appear to be taking even worse of a toll than lightning. Hopefully the others aren't nearly as bad.

The nightmare was really sad. It stinks seeing how badly affected Ikari is. I mean, it's obvious he would be, but doesn't change the sadness of it. I think after the reminder of all that pain just to be told he couldn't train justifies his death threat to Gaara a bit. An overreaction, but an understandable one. Aha! I knew that mission went down too easily! I feel proud to have been right for some reason XD. Though for the scrolls to have been trapped as a summoning surprised me. Explained Kurkoro's ease with finding the scrolls.

Hm... Wonder what all the Kekkei Dota can do. Also, I liked Ikari's determination here. What did it do to his chakra, though? Interesting.... Anyway, great chapter. Now to see what happens in the next chapter. Then I'll be caught up ^.^


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 01/09/14 - 04:34 pm · For: Deep Within
Wow. I'm doing review and I've written a chapter for Retribution. I'm on a roll XD. I missed doing this sooooo much.

Anyway, I was shocked for some reason how quickly the mission ended. Guess I was expecting some big shocker to occur. But Ikari's methods are just too affective. Those guards got taken out fast. Though they probably should have taken a hostage to find out who had sent them. After all, it could have meant someone else had interests the Sand wouldn't want then to have. But yay - the mission was completed without any serious injuries.

I like how you bring up Ikari's body's conflicts with all the different chakra natures. It makes sense. Though his body sure is suffering, and it seems like it'll be that way with each new chakra nature. Now that I look over this again, is anyone going to help Ilari perfect his fire nature, or is he going to go with what he has? Because I totally forgot he already knew that. As usual it's sad to see how Ikari misses Rayne. I hope they get to meet again sometime. That'd be nice considering she was the first friend he actually let in since the incident.

Anyway, amazing chapter, Itoko-san.

Author's Response: Haha im glad to see you back :D Yeah the mission was a little rushed but I wanted it to seem that way. Sort of as a quick side deal. It was a one track mission with one objective. Yeah I kinda get into the real details of chakra and its transformation. It kinda makes it a bit sciency if you know what I mean. You'll just have to read on to find out :P. Thanks for the review!


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 13/07/14 - 06:41 pm · For: Blood Diamonds
Hurray, new chapter! Well first off, I think you did really great with the summoning fight. Go Ikari, and Gaara. (Ew to how the spider was killed though. haha He ripped it apart and I could easily imagine it... yucky XP) The description created a vivid picture and was written quite nicely.

Aw, he got a headband from the Sand. And eased the tensions with Kankuro. That was nice. Now, off he goes to continue his wind training. I can't wait to see how it all goes. Hope you update soon! I'm eager to read more. :)

Author's Response: Ah I'm glad you think I did well with the fight :D Haha I had to make it as gruesome as possible. Thanks :) Everytthing seems to be going well for now, and yep I will update soon :) Thanks for your wonderful review!


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 06/07/14 - 10:01 pm · For: Gust
First off, FINALLY I CAUGHT UP!! It only took... a year, like exactly... holy crap I am a slow reader! :P

I started cringes at the thought of Ikari's experience with learning wind release and how it felt to be stabbed a bunch of times. Yikes, that must have hurt like hell, but... at least he got it! Oh, his past still makes me sad. His siblings were so awesome! Gaara packed his wounds with sand?... Ew... I only say that because sand in a cut doesn't sound too helpful. Though, whatever works, right? And a giant spider? Seriously? You've got me squirming all over the place, I hate spiders! If I ever saw a giant one, I'd give up on the spot! haha.

This was a very interesting chapter to say the least. I was surprised Ikari can now heal himself, kind of like a Jinchuriki. It's pretty cool, nonetheless. I can't wait until you update! (Geez, I don't think I ever said that in a review for this story before.) Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: Haha hey it's not a bad thing! I always tell readers to take their time, there's no rush at all. Oh yeah It had to be as painful as possible especially since Lightning is weak against wind and Ikari just learned lightning soo.... Yeah I had to think of something Gaara could do. It would hurt but at least Ikari was knocked out at the time. haha sorry about that it was the first thing that popped into my head. Well it wasn't really that he can heal himself, but his rage just happened to activate another ability of Kekkei Dota. Thanks for the review! I'll update as soon as possible


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 06/07/14 - 09:32 pm · For: Deep Within
I could easily imagine each one of the enemy being picked up and disposed of while everyone else goes on with their business like everything's fine. That was great. At least they got the scrolls and Ikari can resume his training with Temari.

I feel like she could use her being his teacher to her advantage more if she really wanted to learn more on his past. But it's nice that she doesn't push it too far.

Okay, I have one last chapter and then I'm caught up! Hurray!

Author's Response: Heck yeah! I was inspired by Assassins creed. Dunno if you've ever played that game but I had to put something like that in there and I'm glad you liked it! Yeah Temari, I feel, is one of those people that would like to know but doesn't care enough to push it. Yay, thanks for the review.


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 06/07/14 - 09:22 pm · For: Absolution
Haha, I loved how right at the beginning you say, "Temari doesn't give two shits..." because she probably wouldn't. (That's why she's one of my favorite kunoichi in the series).

Well darn it all, no files were found on Ikari? Of course something would happen to interfere with his training and now he has to go on a mission with the two older siblings. I liked how at first, you kind of created an uncertainty with how it would go considering Kankuro really doesn't like the kid and Temari doesn't mind him. Yet, at the end of the chapter you have them working together quite nicely. Immediately, when Ikari told Kankuro to transform one of his puppets I thought about the written portion of the Chunin exams when he disguised crow as one of the proctors.

Alright, onto the next chapter where I find out how their plan goes!

Author's Response: Haha Temari truly doesn't give two shits. She's the mega hard ass out of all the kunoichi in my opinion. Yeah! I wanted to prove that under certain circumstances the mission is more important that anyone's feelings about each other. I hope I pulled it off nicely having Ikari take the lead. Thanks for another awesome review!


Name: Hazard (Signed) · Date: 02/07/14 - 12:09 am · For: Sunrise
Good to see your still writing man, keep up the good work ;)

Author's Response: Yoooo dude! I didn't think I'd see you on here. I appreciate the review. Hope we can get back to writing relapse into illusion sometime soon haha. Hope life is treating you well man take it easy.


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 01/07/14 - 06:26 pm · For: Hurricane
Yes! He met Gaara! There conversation was pretty close to what I imagined. He had to be trusted first before any help could be given. Of course he'd read Ikari's eyes as well. It made sense why Gaara pushed for an explanation, and at least Ikari didn't make too big a deal out of it or freaked out.

Kankuro is just a very protective brother, and I'm glad you captured that side to him. At this point he no longer fears Gaara and just wants whats best for him, so I see why you had him go against the Kazekage's orders, so to speak. Good thing Temari stepped in before anything really bad happened.

I'm excited to see Temari train him now. I find that there's no one better to teach wind techniques than the character who has a giant fan strapped to her back. I can't wait to see what happens next!

Author's Response: I'm glad I got the things right about Gaara :D Really, I worry everytime about OOCing a character. Also with Kankuro. It's fun writing all those different aspects and personalities. Haha yeah I figured Temari would be the best so I made it happen :). Thanks for the review!


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 30/06/14 - 06:41 pm · For: Adamant
Alright, time to review another one of your fantastic chapters. This one was definitely interesting. I guessed that seeing the Kazekage wouldn't be that easy, but I didn't expect Ikari to run into Baki. That was pretty exciting and cool, especially their little fight. It probably wasn't the best idea for him to suggest that since, Baki is a wind user and that usually beats lightning, but hey he didn't know!

I thought it was very sweet for Ikari to help those siblings from the shop keeper. It was kind of him to step in, even though he wasn't completely sure what he was doing. At least, Baki saw it as a good act and now he's going to help him. Hurray! I can't wait for him to meet the Kazekage.

Author's Response: Yes things are off to rocky start for Ikari but in the end it seemed to have paid off. Yes he's one more stop closer to meeting the Kazekage and one more step closer to mastering wind release. Slowly but surely. Thank you again for these awesome string of reviews! They always help encourage me to write more and I always appreciate some nice words.


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 29/06/14 - 10:53 pm · For: Reclamation
Awww, no he's leaving Rayne! :( That was a sad part to read, especially how they ended on a sour note. But I get it. Ikari had to leave since there's all the other elements he has to learn.

Darn that Kirikage and saying it was rogue ninjas that killed the twins, and the parents as if it never happened. That's disrespectful in many ways! I can't wait for Ikari to take action on them. They deserve a good butt-kicking! XD

So now he's on his way to the Sand Village? YAY! He's going to meet the Sand Siblings, isn't he? Oh that's exciting because they're my absolute favorites! I'm seeing some heads banging though with Ikari's whatever attitude and Gaara's no-bs attitude. But I'm sure everything will turn out okay in the end. Onto the next chapter, I go!

Author's Response: Yeah :/ it was sad to write but it had to come. It's not the Kirikage's fault though, the parents went to great lengths to cover up everything and made it appear as if rogue ninja did it. Yes the sand village :D You'll just have to read and find out ;) Thank you for another wonderful review, always appreciated!


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 27/06/14 - 03:34 pm · For: Horizon
Sweet little fight scene with A. I even got curious when Ikari's chakra wrapped around his arm. I wonder what that was about. But it was nice that A wanted to test his skill and wasn't all cranky about it.

So they got drunk, huh? That was pretty funny to read. I liked how he finally told Rayne what happened to his siblings. He's opening up a little bit. But you got me there with the dream. I actually thought it was real for a second and was like 'wtf?' haha. I also started to laugh when Ikari threw Rayne off the couch and she thought they were under attack. XD Good chapter!

Author's Response: Yeah I felt I had to put him interacting more with A in there. It was a short but important fight. Haha yes they did get drunk :P I felt it was the only way for Ikari to open up like he did. That would be bad if the dream was real ;) haha had to put a little humor in it. Thanks for another review, they truly are appreciated!


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 25/06/14 - 11:47 am · For: Rude Awakening
Alrighty, finally getting to this chapter. Sorry, I've been M.I.A. I was trying to work on my story and the chapter that was a pain... I was reading this, I just never got to reviewing, but now here I am!

This chapter was great to read and I loved how Ikari helped out Rayne by bringing her to Itachi. I also loved how Itachi didn't go back on his word and taught him the missing step. You know, Itachi became one of my favorite characters recently. He was such a good shinobi, I'm sad he's gone.

Anyway, Rayne and Ikari, huh? Haha, that was a cute little end you put to the chapter. Good job again!

Author's Response: Haha no worries for real. You don't have to apologize to me. I know how busy life can get. Yeah same here! Itachi has become one of my favorite, I mean he was already before, but even more now. Ha I couldnt help it :P I'm glad you enjoyed and thanks for the review!


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 19/05/14 - 11:19 am · For: Battery
Well, I'm in school right now doing absolutely nothing. So I decided to catch up on my reading with this fanfiction :). Nice chapter! I just can't get over how well you're connecting two stories as well as keeping Rayne and all the other characters in character. I was very excited when you wrote Itachi in and I knew it was him right away. I can't wait to see what's next!

Author's Response: Ah thanks :) I'm glad you think I do good with the connection because honestly it's one of the things I worry about while writing. But now I have some comfort knowing I did good. Hey I had to include Itachi, always have to :P. Keep on reading, there will be a lot more to come


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 19/01/14 - 03:54 pm · For: Absolution
Maybe it's because I was thinking of Never Too Late, but I kept seeing Ikari against Kina in this since they both have to do with all five elemental types. Hm..... I may just have to revive Silverwolf's Battle Stadium XD.

Like I said with Shizake Chronicles, this was a nice and refreshing read. I loved seeing Ikari again after so long. I missed him XD. Sheesh, he's diligent in his training. Though he really needs to eat. It will only hinder the training process if he doesn't. As with his lightning release I'm eager to see where his training will go for wind. Just how strong will he be when he has three releases to use? That'll definitely be fun.

The mission is an interesting twist, though wouldn't they have stopped for supplies and stuff before they left? Or were they prepared for some reason? That's the only real thing that bugged me throughout this chapter. I thought everyone was pretty in character. I loved how you showed Gaara's kindness yet also his Kazekage side. Part of the reason I love Gaara so much is because of this. A variety of missing-nin going after the scrolls? Just what kind of techniques are in them and what do they plan to use them for O.o?

Ugh. No next button. *hangs head* I forgot how much I loved reading this story. Well, if you couldn't tell, I'm eager for more whenever you get it out ^.^


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 06/08/13 - 06:13 pm · For: Hurricane
Heh. Looks like this arc is going to be showing more of Ikari's care for sibling side. Get that from my suggestion for last chapter?

So the blade thing is still wearing on his mind? Understandable considering it was very odd. I'm very curious as to what all powers the Kekkei Dota gives him. So far just the little things are very interesting to find out. Ooh. Will he be able to change it later so that chakra is instead an element? Like swirling chakra fist of fire *^*

I was expecting Baki to teach him the wind release, so I didn't think they'd be going to Gaara to see if he could find another one. It's still interesting, though. Gaara is calm as ever it would seem. For the previous psychopath he seems to show less emotions and is tamer than the other Kages. Anyway, Ikari is going to be repeating a lot throughout the story since he's most likely going to have to do so to every Kage. Small price to pay to be taught a country's secrets, though.

Like I said, it seems you can see more of how much value, if that's the right word, in bonds between siblings. Both in him smiling and his inability to punch Kankuro when he was the one who started the fight. Kinda sad in a way since I know what caused that. It's a good thing Temari stepped in or that may have gone downhill for Ikari. Or he could have been ticked. Always different possibilities.

So the training is finally beginning? I wonder how he'll do learning this seeing as it's what lightning is weak against. Then again, that may have no affect whatsoever. I find it partially funny both his trainers have been girls that could kick most guy's butts.

Anyway, great chapter,

Author's Response: Yeah especially coz I see it really fitting him. Yes the blade things is but nothing more than a memory for him after all that happened. Oh don't worry I have huge things for the true extent of Kekkei Dota and every little step along the way. Yes I wanted someone else to teach him simply because I just wanted a change of people. I hope that means I got Gaara down in characer ;P I really do see him as the calm collected one out of all the Kages. Haha I never really thought of that. Thanks for the review, always appreciated Itoko.


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 12/07/13 - 03:21 pm · For: Thunderclap
Interesting chapter. My favorite part would be the ending where you bring the two stories together. You know, you're and Rayne's. It was great to read and it really highlighted the point of the story: Vengeance. As I said before, these reviews are going to get shorter, I'm sorry. I would love to say more but honestly, saying it's fantastic sums it all up. Haha

I'll get to the other chapters immediately with reviews. Sorry there was a gap of time from the last one to this one. Great Job Shizake!

Author's Response: I was unsure about bringing the two stories together but I thought it would be a nice little tribute to Tink and her character plus it helped add to the development. Hey I'll appreciate a review now matter how short or long they are. So no need to apologize. And don't worry about the gap, I won't get mad or frustrated ever. You're on your own time so do what you do. Thanks for the review!


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 06/07/13 - 10:50 am · For: Destination
So it's time for him to take action, nice. I'm eager for what's going to happen and for what he's going to do. His parents deserve what's coming.

Oooh he met Rayne! I love her! I actually let out a little yelp of excitement cause she's so awesome. It's so cool she's used in this. And I love how you kept her in character.

I think my reviews are going to get shorter and shorter because I'm really just repeating myself. I love this, honestly. Good job!

Author's Response: Yes, now the real show begins! Yeah! *rubs back of head* sometimes I like a character so much I want to give them a cameo or even a big part in my stories. I've used Rayne, Sasaui, and one of Hazard's characters. To be honest, I struggled with Rayne at first but Tink and Silverwolf gave me a couple of pointers and I got her down in no time. Hey even if you left a one word review saying, "awesome!" I would still be happy. Thanks for the review!


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 06/07/13 - 10:44 am · For: Zero Hour
O.O what the heck did I just read...?

It started out so calming and sweet. Ikari just needed to take a test and found out he had the Kekkei Dota. It should've been a happy kind of moment! But then you wrote what you did.

Now I really don't like Zumaku and I lost all my respect for Mikara. How could they kill their own children for power?! Ahhh! I just want to reach into the story and strangle them! Excuse my language but what a dick move! I can't even explain how I feel about it. haha

Anyhow, this was an interesting chapter. Even though it made me want to scream because of the death of two awesome twins. I liked it. Poor Ikari, though. I'm going to move on now to find out how this affects him.

Author's Response: Didn't expect that one did you? ;P I'm glad it took you by surprise because, well, that's what I was aiming for haha. And don't worry about your language I don't mind one bit :P As usual thank you so much for your review I always appreciate them :)


Name: TeamWorkIsKey (Signed) · Date: 05/07/13 - 09:06 pm · For: Suspicions
Another great chapter.

First off, Zakumo made me laugh when he got all awkward because Ikari made lava come out of the stone, and Kino seems like a nice kid. It was nice of Ikari to invite him over and even more nicer for Zumaku to train him since his dad is always gone.

I wonder what those Jonin were talking about with his parents. The subject is obvious, it's just I want to know what they said. I'm excited to read about what's in store with Ikari.

Yay! Hitari and Kikoro are back! Their relationship with their little brother is very sweet. They're so nice to him, it's cute. But what a mistake to take him out to sneak around. I loved how they got caught too. It's like the most common ways and most seen on T.V. and stuff but it's still funny to imagine. I wonder what they're going to be talking about with their parents.

Onto the next chapter! I love this more and more as I keep reading.

Author's Response: Yes the lava, I had a tough time thinking of a way to hint at Kekkei Dota but I got it out :P Hitari and Kikoro might be ANBU but they have emotions when it comes to their brother :) There's a lot more in store. Thanks for the review! and I'll get to reviewing more of your story also :)


You must login (register) to review.