"He didn't know if any band had ever done it, but he knew that old bands like The Who and The Beatles used to do it, at least one song at the time." That's a straight contraction surely. You can't 'not know' something and know at the same time. It's a little confusing like this.
What you mean would be more along the lines of: "He didn't know if any band had ever done it exactly like that, but old bands like The Who and The Beatles did at least play one whole song at a time." You also seemed to miss a word at one point and forgot to mark Iruka's thoughts.
Otherwise, this was very sweet, well-written and I really liked it. It was touching, realistic and yet they were both very much in character. Lovely work.
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Reviews For All The Lights
Name: BattyBigSister (Signed) · Date: 23/11/12 - 02:45 am · For: All The Lights