Every time I read your chapters, I always realize how much I miss your writing. I know you said in the summary how this story was probably corny in a way, but your style and the manner you write make it so much more enjoyable than an average 'corny' story.
I liked how you described the relationships between our trio. To be honest, with the way Sasuke treats Sakura on a daily basis (before the massacre), now I'm waiting for a NaruSaku. Sasuke's just such an awful boyfriend and she lets him act like that. Naruto may be a goofball sometimes but at least he's calm and nice around her.
That was a pretty dramatic ending also, I gotta say. I liked how it turned out. I feel bad for Sasuke of course but it was still a really good way to end the chapter.
Loved this chapter, Batty Onee-chan. Excellent work. Looking forward to more from you soon!
Author's Response: You know the Sasu/Saku in this was... the oddest thing to write. It was so obviously wrong and abusive when I was writing about it happening to someone else and yet I've been there, I've lived that kinda life and when you are in that situation, you don't notice how bad it is at all. Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about Val, my ex you know about, here so much, but yeah, when I was not much older than Sakura in this story I was there too... and this chapter really did bring it home to me. I guess now I have a better idea of how the people around me felt too. Tsrange how that happened.
Anyway, I'm glad you liked this instalment. There was so much retelling of the past rather than direct action that I was a little worried to be honest. I'm glad it came out okay in the end. Can't wait for the chance to write the next chapter though. More direct action. ;0)
Okay... I'll admit it... I was seriously debating with myself on whether or not I would read this story. Why? Because it had a yaoi tag and is under the genre of High School Fics... I was seriously just that surprised to see a fic like this come out under your name I guess.
However... This first chapter really did catch my interest. It had your standard amazing description of the setting and people. And the whole thing with technology and all, it really threw me off to be honest just because it's so weird to have the Naruto gang as advanced as our generation is and more. For me personally, I'm not very good with technology or understanding so maybe elaborating a bit more on the machinery and how it works would be helpful for this techno-nitwit right here :P Anyway, I also thought you did a good job with the whole suspenseful thing of Sasuke's moodiness, what had happened to him, and all that - very good with describing his grouchy and depressed nature. I also liked how you elaborated on Naruto and Sakura's relations to him. Oh gosh which reminds me, when he almost hit her! I almost freaked out when that happened, nearly cried out in relief when he didn't actually slap her. I would think Naruto would be a bit more defensive on that as well, but I mean, it was still a very dramatic scene in itself anyway.
You did very well with this first chapter, Batty Onee-chan. I really liked this quite a bit and am wondering where you'll take this, or if this is even something you'll continue. Of course I miss your other stories, but whatever you post is always a great piece of work anyway. So whatever you post next, I'm looking forward to :D
Author's Response: As I mentioned in FFW, you were of course absolutely right about Naruto. Thank you so much for pointing that out. I went back and edited the scene slightly to give him more of reaction. I originally underplayed it so much that it basically wasn't there and, as you basically said, that's not Naruto at all.
As for the technology, was there anything specific you didn't understand? Please let me know if there is, even later on in the story. I need to know what I should make clearer after all. I don't want people to get confused or left behind. ;0)
As yes, I was as shocked as anyone when I first saw your review. I know this kind of thing isn't really your scene at all, but that made me extra happy and grateful that you went out of your way to give this a chance for my sake. Thank you.
I actually read a lot of yaoi, have done for years, so I not really shocked that once I found a pairing I was really into I really wanted to write a story about it. I wasn't much of Sasu/Naru before, but then I started reading Naruto doujinshis online and well... I got hooked. There is so much heavily loaded tension in their relationship that they are either the most epic BROmance or the most epic ROmance in the world, depending on how you look at it. It's actually easier to substantiate a romance between them than the cannon relationships too, although Naru/Hina has got a lot easier recently. So I just got seduced by sheer romance of a Sasuke and Naruto relationship. I really hope I do a good accounting of it - although the Ita/Saku pairing is equally important in this story (and while that is sheer, sheer AU - I mean, when would they have met in the canon? And then he dies... - it is also once of the most devilishly enticing pairings I've ever come across. So looking forward to that too! ;0) )
As for this being a High School fic, I think that came as much as a surprise to me as anyone. I mean, I read High School stuff, but when it comes to AU I feel that unless you are actually adding something of value to the fandom why bother? I read too much stuff which is basically an original story with the character's names thrown in for no good reason other than to get readers. I find that a little pointless. :0S In this case though I feel the High School part works with what I am trying to do. I'm sure you'll let me know if you agree. ;0)