Reviews For Shi-Hua Shock
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 29/10/12 - 01:25 pm · For: Spark
I wonder how much this internal flame is going to be affecting her and how often it will appear.
I wish she had gone to the gala, that would have been interesting to see her in such a setting.
Anyway, don't worry about taking a while to update, it happens. Life is like that. I hope you update soon but obviously don't stress yourself out over it. Keep up the good work with your writing.
Author's Response: Thanks once again for reviewing. I know, I kind of do wish I had placed her at the gala but unfortunately because of length of chapter (for some reason I have a limit) I decided not to. AND I'm testing my creativity in a way where I don't put my O.C.s in every event that happens in the real series. But she will be in others for sure. Lastly, thanks for being understanding. I know I'm writing this at my own pace, but I always feel bad for leaving readers hanging. Anyways, thanks again and I can't wait for your thoughts on future chapters!
Name: DropDeadThenDance (Signed) · Date: 29/06/12 - 06:32 pm · For: A Foolish Promise
Awesome chapter, and I love what you did with the picture I made you. You did a great job creating a banner for your story!!
And speaking of which, your story is getting better and better with each chapter! I'm really shocked at how quickly this story is developing, and I really love it!
Keep up the awesome work with this!!
Author's Response: Well, I'm glad you like the banner and love the story! Thank you so much! I will definitely try my hardest to continue to make this story great. I can't wait for your thoughts in the future!
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 28/06/12 - 10:16 am · For: A Foolish Promise
I really like this story so far. I'm really liking your OC and his she fits into the storyline. The plot is coming along so far, and you're showing your character's personality very nicely. I really enjoy this story, keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing as always. I'm glad you're liking this and my oc. I can't wait to read your thoughts on future chapters!
Name: RawrTheDinoLycan (Signed) · Date: 16/06/12 - 07:32 am · For: The Beginning
Hmm, seems like it could be very interesting. I look forward to reading more :)
Author's Response: Thanks for your thoughts and for reading! I hope you for enjoy this story!
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 16/06/12 - 05:59 am · For: The Beginning
Haha. Sweet. I was mentioned. It feels weird to me when that happens because I am so unused to seeing my name in anything.
Anyway, this was an amazing chapter. Everyone was perfect. It felt as if it actually was Avatar. The made it very enjoyable.
I thought it was sweet seeing Shi and Korra interacting. Her reasoning with finding friends was a very smart idea to me and makes me wonder about her parents. Were they killed by their friends or something? That would be interesting. Anyway, it just made me like Shi more.
This was a great update. It makes me very eager to read more. I seem to be falling in love with both the story and your writing.
Author's Response: Really? I would assumed your make would be in a lot of places. Well you DDTD and silverwolf will definitely be mentioned in the chapters to come. :) Anyways, I'm so glad I didn't make any characters ooc and that it seemed like the show. It makes me proud of myself because usually I mess up at least one character without thinking and it makes the story less realistic. The parent question is interesting and I will say they are very much alive, they just had arguments and such with friends. Alright thanks so much for another review and I can't wait to read your thoughts on the next chapter.
Name: DropDeadThenDance (Signed) · Date: 13/06/12 - 05:58 am · For: The Beginning
Woo! Honorable mention in the chapter notes!! I feel so special XD Anyway, I'm glad you liked that picture, and thanks for mentioning me :)
But, let's focus on the chapter. This is actually a huge quality jump from the first chapters that I went into culture shock. I was really impressed with your improvements so far, and I really think this story has all the right tributes to be really awesome.
Also, I really liked how you had Korra and Shi (so cute!) interact with each other. I think it had just the right amount of awkwardness to it to make it realistic, but enough comedy to make it purely avatar, so awesome job with that. Oh, and lastly, you nailed Ikki's personality! I love her so much, she and Jinora are just so cute!!
Author's Response: Yes, I absolutely love the picture! I wish I could draw like that. No problem, I'm probably going to continue mentioning reviewers in later chapters because I feel as though they deserve to be thanked in a better way than just from the author's response. :) And plus I feel kind of bad for not doing it in my other story. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the chapter! Honestly, I couldn't tell if I really improved so it's nice to have people tell me. I also loved the interaction I had written. I felt it really flow through me and pictured how it realistically would be. As for Ikki, it was actually pretty easy to nail her personality. You just gotta have her ask a load of questions. Thanks again for the review!
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 12/06/12 - 02:04 pm · For: The Beginning
Aww :3 It's actually quite cute how Shi and Korra became friends. I'm really glad that Shi opened up to her.
I'm surprised Shi actually gave Korra such a deep explanation. Personally I'd never be able to tell someone that, but then again, it must be Shi's many layers that make her open when she wants to be :D
I don't agree with Korra that it's weird that Shi tries to keep people away. I think it's weird that Shi was able to explain it so thoroughly, but that's just because I could never do that :P
Anyway, this was a really interesting chapter. Shi's feelings are foreshadowing something bad, I'm almost afraid to see what happens O.O I look forward to more :D
Oh, and congratulations on finishing sophomore year. Have fun in junior year ;) Oh, and for centering your summary page, you use the html tags. Except instead of using i for italicize or b for bold, you're going to use center.
Author's Response: Honestly, I wouldn't be able to either. I'd probably just be like "I'm sorry for how I acted. That's just the way I am... we good?" haha But as Korra said, Shi really thinks things through, which I can easily relate to. You're afraid? Don't be. Just prepare yourself for a little suprise... :P Oh and thanks for the congratulations (I'm really looking forward to my third year), for letting me know how to center, and your thoughts!
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 29/05/12 - 02:20 pm · For: Unsocial...Like Always
Well, I can't see/remember any mistakes except the one that has been pointed out - the tense thing. But other than that, the overall writing was good.
It was an interesting chapter. For some reason it surprised me she met Korra. Maybe it's just because I've just been so wrapped up in my own Avatar story idea. And I thought it was nice how you showed her entire day but didn't majevit seem like too much. And you also gave the readers a sense of who the main character is.
Speaking of your character, I'm actually pleased you changes her name to Shi-Hua since it's more Chinese name-based. I guess DDTD pointed that out where I forgot to. It's the only reason I can't find out what to name my characters - I'm used to Japanese names. Shi-Hua seems like a simple character who is still waiting to grow. And I feel bad for Shi-Hua even if she is actually antisocial because they're judging her only on that on part they see rather than the part Mako and Bolin and Tazo see. And I found Korea's somewhat surprised reaction toward Shi-Hua's antisocialness hilarious.
Author's Response: Thanks for your thoughts! I'm glad you liked it. I do believe I fixed the tense thing but I'll probably go over it again just to make sure. Hopefully I won't make the damme mistake later but luckily I have you three as reviewers to help me out. :) what I'm confused about is what is a majevit? Is it a typo? Lol Anyway I get what you man about transitioning names. I'm used to Japanese ones too :P I hope you continue reading and submit your fanfiction too I'd love to read it.
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 29/05/12 - 07:44 am · For: Unsocial...Like Always
DDTD already pointed out the tense changes, so no real need for me reiterate that.
This writing style is different than what you've bee using. It's very omniscient, like you're narrating instead of letting the story flow on its own. It's not bad, it's just different.
I do like Shi-Hua. I wonder how she will fit into this universe. As of now, you've set up her identity rather well, as everyone knows her as the unsocial girl. It makes me curious to see her character development as the plot thickens.
Good job on this chapter. I liked it. Keep up the awesome work.
Author's Response: Like always thanks for your thoughts. It's very much appreciated. :) I think my writing is different because I'm thinking about this story in a different way since Shi-Hua is a much different character than my other ones. Also I see what you mean by me narrating it. The flow will probably come later when I'm not getting the scene together. Anyways hope you continue reading and giving me your thoughts!
Name: DropDeadThenDance (Signed) · Date: 28/05/12 - 07:59 pm · For: Unsocial...Like Always
Well, this was most certainly an interesting installment to say the least. I think it's kind of sad that Shi-Hua is so unsocial (nice name change, by the way) but I can say I know what she feels like.
My character Tako had the same problem before she hit the Naruto world, so I totally get where you're writing from, and you do a good job of it :D
One thing I did notice throughout this chapter was that there was a lot of tense jumping. I mean one minute you would be writing past tense like this: she had done this, and then the next it would be present tense: her parents are very into the whole idea. Anyway, that aside, I saw a few really minor grammar mistakes as well, but those were barely noticeable things that can be fixed really easily :D
Oh, I have a theory about this character. Can she see the future or something? It would explain how she reacted to Korra's voice on the radio/her congratulating the boys before the match was over :P On top of that, she seems like she has OCD or asperger's syndrome, explaining why she seems to do the same thing everyday, and it also explains her unsocial/shy behavior, along with her unwillingness to talk to people.
ANYWAY! Sorry for the long review, it's been awhile since I really commented on any stories, so I'm just going all out, and I like this story. As a little gift for making a character I can relate too, I drew you this picture! Hope you like it!! :D
Author's Response: Thank you for pointing those things out to me. Sometimes I don't notice these things, so it's good to have someone tell me. I'll be sure to fix it up once I'm out of school for the day. I also like your ideas they're very creative (of course they would be). Onto another part of your review...HOLY SHIZZ-NUGGETS THAT IS ONE AWESOME PICTURE!!!!! Thank you so much, I love it!!!!!! Okay, fangirling over :P I'm glad you like this story and I'm looking forward to reading more of your helpful reviews so I can make this story better.
Name: DropDeadThenDance (Signed) · Date: 28/05/12 - 01:11 am · For: A Quiet Girl in a Loud City
You know, I find it really hilarious that this story popped up right after I decided to take my own Legend of Korra fic down, although mine had no serious thought put into it XD
Anyway, this was a very interesting opening and I found that it had some good points, but I think you may have overdone it with the description of her clothing. Try to break it up a little because it's a run on and it kind of draws away from the quality this could have.
Other than that, this sounds like the opening of a new show, you know? Like, a side angel of what The Legend of Korra would be like from another person's perspective. Very interesting.
I liked this very much, but I do think it was really short. The only other thing that bothered me was that Shizuka is a Japanese name, where as the Avatar universe is based mainly in Chinese related culture.
Again, very interesting, and I will be popping back in for more :D
3D signing out!
Author's Response: Believe me when I say that I thought your story was still up when I posted this until I scrolled down and saw it missing. Anyway, thank you for review. Luckily I've only done two chapters so I can still edit things without causing major confusion. P.s. THANK YOU for pointing her name out...i honestly feel a bit like a dummy for naming her that. *face palm* Again thanks and I hope you keep reading once I fix things. :)
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 25/05/12 - 11:40 am · For: A Quiet Girl in a Loud City
Wow, so many Legend of Korra fanfics...
Hmm... I don't know how much I like this as a prologue. I liked how you kinda set up the history part of it. It helped with creating the setting. But once you started talking about Shizuka, I got a little bored. You talked more about her appearance than who she actually is, which didn't make it interesting to learn about her. Obviously, we'll learn more about her as the story proceeds, but since this is a prologue, you have to make it interesting enough to catch the readers' attention. It could have been better but I'll keep reading because I do like your writing and your stories :)
Author's Response: I know there are so many. Haha I questioned myself about adding to the collection but obviously I found the answer. I understand what you mean by the way. Given I wrote this at around 11-midnight, I missed a lot of stuff to put in and I didn't realize it was so... short. :P But I uploaded anyway because in my tired mind it was good enough (mistake) and for input. So thank you very much, I am fixing up the chapter right now. And I'm glad you will continue reading. :)
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 25/05/12 - 08:11 am · For: A Quiet Girl in a Loud City
Haha. It seems as if Legend of Korra fics are just popping up. I'm planning on writing one, DropDeadThenDance wrote on but then deleted it, and JubileeOfPuppies was talking to me about one. So yeah! New Legend of Korra craze!
This was an interesting start, though it reminds me that I really need to get to reading your other story. Anyway, I can't wait to read more. I am really interested in seeing how she affects the Avatar world seeing as she's going to shock all of Republic City. Shizuka seems like an interesting character. I hope to see about her in the near future. Great job, TeamWorkIsKey!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, for reading! And don't worry, you have time to catch up on the other story since it doesn't seem like I'll be uploading for a bit. :P