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Members: 11985
Series: 261
Stories: 5884
Chapters: 25418
Word count: 47689150
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Name: shadow9000 (Signed) · Date: 03/01/12 - 06:39 am · For: How To Save A Life
hahha... :D

Firstly...
~~WISH YA A HAPPY NEW YEAR~~
May ya hav a blessed, dashing & Rocking Year :DD

^.^
now... for the review...
Amazing :DDD
So thts how they met :O
n...
-clears throat-
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........!!!!!!!!!!!
He actually kissed her...???!!! i mean it wsnt a real kiss... bt still.... he actually Kissed her..???!!! T_T
That lucky .... x'(
eh.. well....
umm...
i dunno wat to say... :'((((
well... i cnt do anything anyways... Dx
so... i might as well just continue review the rest part... :L
well... it sure is funny hw Hayashi is sticking to his concept xDD
n lol... they do respect him so much more now... n well... Masaru did do something worthy as a captain... he strengthened the bond between the crew mates... the original nine actually... but they are incharge of the others anyways right....
The flashback ws pretty Kool..!! i mean woah..! Kasumi ws bout to Suicide... hard to imagine a girl like Kasumi could think of suicide... it shows how mch of an help Masaru has been in changing Kasumi... he helped her get back on stable ground.... (That gives him 10 more points... Dx n m still at zero :((()
anyways.... you excelled in showing off ur skills in describing sceneries even in tense situations.. :O Awesome scenes matching the situations.. :D
no offense... bt wsnt Masaru being able to hold his breath for such a long time... is tht really possible..? or is it some Shinobi skill...? Coz tht isn't supposed to b easy for any normal human being...(thts wat i think ofcourse... :P i dunno the fact) coz it might hav taken well over 2 to 3 minutes to reach the floor... let alone the time used up in untying those heavy weights...just statin wat i feel... ^^
Anyways... i see y tht cave or cove(wateva i dunno xD) is so significant to those Pirates... :o
But we didnt get to knw anythin much bout her Family n how she died >_< i thought it would b revealed in this chapter... :P
well... i think we may hav to wait longer for tht... :P
n lol... xD i love hw u put up those fights with witty remarks... xD it leaves me loling xPPP thts one of the many reasons y i love ur writing ....:D
Anyways... i read the story yesterday... n only got time to review today... so yet again i dnt remember much... :L xO
Anyways... all in all... This truly was an Awesome chapter...
i wonder hw Kasumi will react wen sje learns Masaru told the othrs bout their first meet.... :P
And Gratz at ur feat... (2 updates in a week xP)
Hope ur Holidays went well... :D wish Demon fox a Happy New year too ^^

Author's Response: Thanks, Happy New Year to you as well! Yes, that is how they met. Hehe, I knew the CPR thing would get to you. Calm down, he was saving her life, that's all ;) Haha, yeah, Masaru and the Original Nine made up. I found that rather sweet, personally. Yes, Kasumi was suicidal at one point in her life. This is after the incident that took her family and friends away from her. Which you will learn about later. I never said this would describe Kasumi's dead family and friends, I just said we would learn about her ;) I'm glad you like the description. I tried really hard to be elaborate when describing Masaru rescuing Kasumi. As for his breathing, well, I did try to show that he was freaking out the longer he was under. And it may have been a long read of seeing him under, but it was really supposed to represent two or three minutes. The maximum time for holding your breath is approximately three minutes; so imagine a shinobi who has had training. I think it's a safe bet to say that a ninja can hold his/her breath for about five minutes. Anyhow, thanks for the review! I always appreciate feedback! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


Name: Red Mist (Signed) · Date: 01/01/12 - 02:08 pm · For: How To Save A Life
Wow... Oh my god...

Now that is what I call plot insight.

Seriously, I cannot believe we learned so much about Kasumi. I mean, I just, I can't believe she tried to kill herself. That's so crazy...

I'm really glad this was told through Masaru's point of view, I think it makes the entire event more realistic. He didn't know all the details at this point, he just wanted to help her. It makes it so much more effective.

I'm also glad things seemed to work out between the pirates. That's good to hear :)

Great chapter, Silverwolf-san! This was a fantastic chapter! Can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Heehee, I'm glad you like it! Yes, she did try to take her own life. She was in a very unstable state in that time. I'm happy that you liked it in Masaru's POV; he is the one telling the story, so I tried to make sure that I didn't accidentally throw in some of Kasumi's thoughts or anything. But I'm glad you enjoyed seeing things through his perspective. Yeah, the Blue Pirates made up; I don't know if I could stand having them be mad at each other for so long. Thanks so much for the awesome feedback! I'm glad you liked this chapter! Thanks a bunch for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it! You're awesome!


Name: shadow9000 (Signed) · Date: 29/12/11 - 09:49 am · For: Over My Head
hmm....
i dont remember much T_T
my fishy lil memory :L
i'd read a few days ago n now is when i get to review :(
sowy...
anyways...
of wat i remember....
Finally we'l get to read bout her past :O
so...she was weak n unable to save her parents from dying D: :(
my poor Kasumi...!!! D'x
n lol...
wer u considering my suggestion bout Kakashi...? xDD
anyways...
woah..!! Masaru's leadership isquestioned... D: wat i feared would happen :L
the thing is... i ws confused in the begining as to wat exactly happened to Masaru...
i forgot bout wer this fic hd reachd... :P too much gap i guess...?
for once 'suki's fic' ws my favoourite...n than now u upload another one of my faurite...n change my opinion again... :P
so.. hopefully... the next update will b of POM will b the next update...? plz? :D
n poor masaru again :P
bt he is pretty good at changin topics :P
n woah...soo much insight into two character's history :D
osamu n masaru's sad story :(
n Masaru saved Kasumi huh?
wow... so he's won her heart T_T
No..!!! he hs just got a head start..!! she'l still b mine >_<
i knw it... x]
anyways...

so as i ws saying...
LOL at Hayashi's 'stroke of Genius' xDD
that scene sure ws funny xP
n meager for the next update... :D
so.......
wen ya updatin Uruffoo....? x]

Author's Response: Oh, don't worry about waiting so long to review, it's alright. It's awesome that you're reviewing now! Yes, you will be learning about her past. This chapter was a nice setup for the next chapter, where you will see how Masaru and Kasumi met. Oh, it's quite a story, let me tell you ;) Everyone seems to have their own theories about Kasumi and her family and friends; all I can say is that she will tell someone everything that happened in... a future chapter ;D Haha, no, I wasn't considering your suggestion about Kakashi; I just decided to throw him in because I thought he was the most suitable for finding her after a mental breakdown. Yeah, you were one of the few who knew that Masaru's leadership would be argued over by the other crewmates, good for you. Oh, you forgot that he was unconscious? Huh, it wasn't that long since I updated last; there has definitely been a larger gap than this. Hehe, wow, so my updates change which of my stories is your favorite? I take pride in that, it means my writing and ideas are getting better :D Oh yeah, there is definitely a lot of insight to each pirate, and I'm revealing a lot of it in the upcoming chapters. Though it's all in the bingo book anyway, I'm just trying to make it more creative by putting it in the story XD Yeah, Masaru saved Kasumi's life... That doesn't mean he's won her heart... necessarily. You still have a chance... maybe... Heehee, but I knew you always liked her ;D Hayashi's little stroke of genius was a complete random thing that came to me, and when I thought of it, I had to add it; it also somewhat lightened the atmosphere for a moment, which I guess helped Masaru's situation just a bit. And actually, I'm updating on New Year's Day. Hopefully I'll be able to do it early so you can read it, what with the difference in time zones and everything. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it! You're awesome!


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 28/12/11 - 11:08 am · For: Over My Head
I think I'm getting so used to leaving cliffhangers they've just stopped affecting me. And I really don't think that's a good thing...... It's either that or I seriously am thinking of too many things right now to add notice the part crying out to know the truth. But yeah, I did like the cliffhanger at the end. It was a nice way to lead into the next chapter.

That was really nice of you to add in that part because of others curiosity. And you did amazingly well with it, by the way. I absolutely loved it. It's hard to believe you came up with that on the spot. It was absolute genius! I loved the beginning. It was just so descriptive, setting up the whole thing beautifully. And then she actually got into the office. I was just waiting for her to get caught of for her to have to go super spy and start knocking people out before they noticed her, but you did ten times better than that. You had her find that file, and just everything that happened after that was really amazing. From the second I read it, I highly doubted Kasumi actually had killed her family. I don't know why that is seeing as she's an S-class killer and everything. I guess it's because of how she treats her crew, who she treats like her family. I just couldn't imagine her killing her family when I saw how she treated her crew. And then the mental breakdown. Wow. I was just seriously..... Yeah, I don't know the right word. I guess you could say I feel like I got more attached to Kasumi in that moment. Yeah, she definitely didn't kill her parents, but she blames herself for it. I'm starting to lean toward Orochimaru doing it to get to her, which would be a reason why she would blame herself. Speaking of, I wonder what Sasuke and Kabuto are up to now that they know where she is. Okay, back to the current chapter. I was somewhat surprised when Kakashi found her. I'm starting to think you like having Kakashi be the.... I don't know what exactly to call him. Emotional helper? No, that doesn't fit exactly.... Well, whatever it is, that's what you have him being. I like that he found her, though.

Then the Blue Pirates scene. Wow. Now that was totally and completely awesome. I can't decide which of the parts I liked more. But if I had to choose, I'd probably go with the second part. The entire situation is very realistic considering just who we're dealing with. Masaru was right in calling them egoistical. But I'm getting ahead of myself. First I wanted to say just how much I loved the part with Masaru and Osamu. It was a nice way of showing their feelings yet also the strength of both's friendship when they could do what the other Original Nine couldn't do toward him. It both showed us part of their heart and their friendship, which I loved. And then the whole Original Nine (minus Kasumi) thing. Yeah, that was definitely great. I say that the Blue Pirates need to lose more often and stop being such jerks toward their friend. Nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Even Kasumi did. She's messed up in Konoha, but the dumb butts don't know that, so...... Anyway, I was kinda surprised at their anger. I mean, yeah, I should have expected it seeing as it does make sense, but I guess I expected them to have a little more faith. It especially surprised me when little Akira joined the dark side. Then again, they are considered the dark side, so the darker side I guess. And how they met was definitely a nice surprise that has my mind creating fake scenarios.

The first thing I thought of when I realized what Masaru's past was was Kailey. They're both pretty different, though. Kailey is willing to punch someone while Masaru refused to physically touch anyone in a way that hurts them. But I really liked what you did with Masaru and how he is because of his past. The part about him almost hitting Ayame is probably my favorite part of the entire thing. I don't know why, but it is. Maybe I just find it really close to what I think because so many times people want to get back at others by inflicting the same thing they felt while they know how it feels. That's the way I've always seen things, so I guess I was surprised to see Masaru does as well.

Overall this was a great chapter that really needs a follow up. I hope you can get to it soon, but I can wait. Sheesh, it really is bad that I can wait either because I'm so used to my own cliffhangers or because I'm too busy, isn't it?

Author's Response: No, that's not necessarily a good thing. Jeez Sasaui, and I specifically left this cliffhanger just for you. Now you've gone and made me sad :'(

Yeah, I believe you and a couple other people said they were eager to seeing what Kasumi would accomplish when she was out of her cell. I decided to go with that and show you guys. Though now that I think about it, I think including that part of the chapter has opened up a couple new doors for me, so perhaps it was a good thing I did this :) I feel like you're always telling me that my on-the-spot scenes are good, and I never believe you. I don't think this is an exception. I am rather iffy on that segment of the chapter... I'm glad you liked the description though, I think I was in a relatively good mood the day I wrote the scenery. Personally, I was also in suspense when Kasumi was in stealth mode; I was worried that she would get caught, and I was writing the darn thing. Ah, so you don't think Kasumi killed her family. Well, for now, I left it up just to have the readers think about it. You'll find out eventually ;) Hmm, do I really have Kakashi in there that often? Huh... Well, I made him be the one to find her because I thought he would be the least likely to actually fight her. Maybe I do use him a lot...

Hehe, I quite liked this scene as well. I tried going about it in a realistic way, so I'm glad I accomplished that. Ha, I found it ironic that the temporary Blue Pirate captain was saying that the Blue Pirates are egotistical; ah, maybe they've been spending too much time with Kasumi. I like Masaru and Osamu together; they're just so easy to write about as friends, so when they were arguing, I imagined two best friends fighting because they definitely can be considered one of the crew's best pairs of friends. Heehee, I think you're right in saying that the Blue Pirates need to lose more often. They definitely are very cocky. Poor Masaru was the brunt of all their anger and frustration. Wow, can you imagine what they would do if they found out Kasumi messed up? That'd sure give them all a good slap in the face.

I knew you would think of Kailey, I even thought of her a bit when I started writing it in this chapter. I didn't mean to copy though, it was all in the bingo book from last year. I'm surprised you like what I did with Masaru not wanting to physically touch anyone to hurt them. He is a dangerous pirate, so I took a bit of a gamble by doing that. I'm glad you like the part where he almost hit Ayame, since that kind of shows off his attitude toward physically harming people. He may rely on ninjutsu, but he won't touch anyone to hurt them. I'm happy you enjoyed the little insight to Masaru's mind.

Oh, don't you worry about the follow up. It's actually done, just finished yesterday. But I'm going to wait until the weekend to upload it ;) But it's okay that the cliffhanger had no effect on you, and since you're busy, don't fret about trying to read it when it comes out. I don't mind. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate your lovely feedback! Thanks a bunch, you're awesome, Sasaui!


Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 27/12/11 - 05:56 pm · For: Over My Head
Wow... Well, what can I really say about this chapter.

Kasumi breaking into the Hokage's office was actually quite suspenseful. I was so worried that she would be caught. Then she had her mental breakdown, and for some reason, I didn't expect Kakashi of all people to stumble upon her. I find it kind of odd that there wasn't a bit of a fight there, but I guess it's understandable since he found her while she was in an unstable state. And I guess she's not really looking to fight just yet, she's still in the stealth mode of her idea, yeah?

Anyway, the best and most intense part was the second half of this chapter. Masaru and Osamu having their little spout really surprised me, as those two always seem to get along. I was shocked to see them fighting and having a self-pity competition. But I guess with pasts like theirs, what else is there to do except mourn?

I especially enjoyed when the other pirates were yelling at Masaru. I was slightly afraid you would make it a simple tea party after the last chapter; I prayed for a big fight amongst them after retreating, and I definitely got it.

Out of that whole ordeal though, I liked the part where Masaru was prepared to hit Ayame. When he stopped and you gave the reasons for it... wow, I never would have thought. So he doesn't use taijutsu then? And not even because he's not good at it, but he doesn't want to physically hurt someone... Wow, I just really liked how you described it.

Excellent job on this, Wolf-chan! This was definitely an amazing chapter, and I'm excited to hear that you will be posting more soon ;) Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: I was in suspense just writing about that scene. I was worried for her as well, so don't worry, you're not alone ;) Hmm, I suppose you're right that there probably should have been a fight, but I just didn't think there really needed to be one there. She won't fight unless she needs to (or goes on a rage-driven rampage). And Kakashi doesn't really fight anyway unless he feels he must. Yeah, the argument between Masaru and Osamu was something I had pictured just because those two are good buddies, and I wanted to have them fight just to see what would happen. Haha, of course I wouldn't make the pirates all cool with each other after the last chapter; it's just not believable. Hmm, you liked that part? I was worried about that scene, I was scared that I hadn't explained Masaru's thought process well enough. He's a ruthless pirate, so of course he's dangerous; but I wanted to show that he wouldn't physically hit someone because he knows what it's like. It was a strange thing for me to write, so I'm glad you liked it. Thank so much for reading and reviewing, Rainbow-chan! I'm really glad that you liked this chapter! Thanks so much, you're amazing!


Name: Demon Fox (Signed) · Date: 27/12/11 - 05:54 pm · For: Over My Head
Whoa, she was out! Not as epic as I thought, but putting things in about her past is always ridiculously fun to read about :D

Wow! I can't believe Kakashi was the one who found her. I was expecting Tsunade or Naruto :P But they didn't fight, which surprised me. But I think it made sense after she had her mental breakdown. Or at least I think so anyway....

But the best part was the epic conversations and dialogue between the Blue Pirates! That seriously blew my mind just because we learned so much. And there's more left to learn, which is even more awesome! I can't wait to find out more about Kasumi and Masaru!

Nice job, Silverwolf! Keep up the awesome work with this story!

Author's Response: Aww, I'm sorry it wasn't as intense as you would have liked :( But I'm glad you still liked reading about her mysterious past :D Haha, you're right in saying that it was because of Kasumi's mental breakdown that they didn't fight. Kakashi was slightly skeptical about what had happened to her. Wow, you liked the dialogue between the Blue Pirates? I'm glad you enjoyed that, since I know you like action better than conversations. That's a big compliment! And this is only the beginning of what you will learn about Kasumi and Masaru ;) Thanks a bunch for reading and reviewing! You're awesome!


Name: Red Mist (Signed) · Date: 27/12/11 - 05:53 pm · For: Over My Head
This chapter was bloody brilliant!

Seriously, considering you didn't plan the scene with Kasumi out, it came out amazingly well. I loved how she broke into Tsunade's office only to find a file about herself. That's so crazy! And I can't believe it freaked her out so much.

Whoa, she's the one who killed her family and friends? That's like another Itachi! That's fricking insane! I didn't see that coming, honestly.

And wow, the Blue Pirates are pretty cocky, aren't they? It seems Masaru and Osamu are the only ones who aren't full of themselves. They also have some awful pasts... I know that all the Blue Pirates have terrible pasts (I read the bingo book), but just hearing those two talk about their own is really sad. My heart goes out to them, and they're the bad guys!

The argument between Masaru and the crew was intense. I love the idea of the Original Nine, it makes me wonder what more there is to learn about them. But the fact that they were all arguing with each other adds more depth to them all.

The cliffhanger was definitely mean; I was so looking forward to reading more about Kasumi and Masaru's pasts. Ugh, now I have to wait!

Great chapter, Silverwolf-san! I absolutely cannot wait for more! Keep up the amazing work!

Author's Response: Really? It came out nicely? That's good to hear. I wasn't even going to give her a scene, but some readers said they wanted to see what she would do when she was out of her cell. So I figured I'd write about it :P I'm glad to know it came out well ^_^ Hehe, yeah, she is suspected of killing her family and friends. We'll be going more into depth about that little fact later on ;) Haha, yes, it seems to be a trend for the members of the crew to be rather cocky, huh? I guess Kasumi's personality has rubbed off on them. Yeah, each Blue Pirate has a sad background... heh, of course they do. They're my OCs, I have to find some way of being mean to them XD Oh, there is quite a bit to learn about the Original Nine, but you'll just have to wait and see ;D I had a great amount of fun writing about Masaru when he was talking to Osamu and when he was arguing with his crewmates. I'm glad you enjoyed it as well :D Heehee, I'm sorry for the mean cliffhanger, but it was such a perfect place to end it ;) Hopefully, you won't have to wait too long. I'm hoping to get the next chapter out before next year... haha, I love that joke XD Anyway, thank you so much for such a nice review! I'm glad you liked this. Thanks for reading and reviewing! You're awesome!


Name: BattyBigSister (Signed) · Date: 16/12/11 - 10:23 am · For: Circus
Amazing! Kasumi and I appear to have similar goals in life at the moment. It seems like we both want a decent map of Konoha. I swear there used to be a decent map on Narutopeadia, but they appear to have discarded it for some reason and the only others ones I can find are either from computer games or clearly made up by roleplayers - and all far too simplistic for my purposes and missing half the landmarks I want...

Moving on... it's about time for the review, huh?

o/ Plot development? 10/10
Now this is what I'm talking about. Very interesting plot progression and I really can never guess what'll happen in the next chapter.
Something I would want to warn you about here is when Kasumi is hinting about how the Blue Pirates have more 'integrity' than Naruto's giving them credit for. I don't doubt they do, but please remember you've already established, repeatedly, that they attack ships and harbours without mercy and kill even the most innocent civilians. Don't get caught in the trap of suddenly re-casting them as 'bad guys with a heart of gold' against all evidence to the contrary. I'm not saying you were going to, but I see too many authors - not just in fanfiction - fall into that trap as they start to bond more with the characters, so I just wanted to add a word of caution. You've established them as ruthless killers and you should try and keep that element to them. They may not be all bad and they may have good reason for much of what they do - but the fact remains they are prepared to slaughter innocent civilians to achieve those ends. Changing that now would just undermine their credibility as characters.
Again not a criticism, but just something that intrigued me was the way Masaru remembers seeing Kasumi as a fragile girl on the day he was recruited. It surprised me that he would want to serve under her if that was his impression of her. I look forward to seeing where this leads! (I still love MasaruxKasumi.)
I also loved his wind jutsu by the way. The fact that it was a wolf made me smile as well.

o/Use of characters? 10/10
Why I even keep this section in, when I know it's not going to be a problem for you is beyond me, but yes - everything was perfect as usual.

o/ Description? 9/10
This was a hard one to call. Some bits were a definite 10, like that stuff about the blood and water when Kasumi was in the forest. There was also the way you brought out Sai's fake-looking smile expression that just really brought it to life for me and made me able to just picture it in my memory - especially with the way you described the eyes. That was great! Other parts, while still great and well-written didn't stand out to me as much. So I gave you a nine as it's something to work on.

o/ Inconsistencies with cannon plot? Characters in-character as regards to the original work? 8/10
It's Naruto who lets you down here. I think you've mentioned before that you have a problem writing his older self. He would be perfectly in-character for his 13-year old self, but at 15/16 he's matured a little bit more. I used to struggle a bit with this too in the early part of SWB (the fact that I was watching a lot of the earlier series at the time didn't help). He would probably whine about her being late - but he probably wouldn't hurl insults at her for criticism he knows is justified. At most it would probably just be muttered comment about how he 'was having an off-day' or 'he'll get her next time'. Same with the random name-calling later on, I doubt he'd do that - unless he was particularly incensed about the carnage she caused among the civilians in the Land of Waves, in which case I think a reference to that outrage might help tie that behaviour in better. The older Naruto is more grounded and focused on right and wrong and the bad things that happen and hurt caused because of blind hatred and desire for revenge, so if I had to give advice it would be to try and include more of that.

o/ Overall quality of the writing? Easy to read? Grammar and Spelling? 9/10
A couple of linguistic notes here. I noticed at least one of the paragraphs in the Sai&Kasumi fight had every sentence starting with the same word, which made it sound a little stilted, and - I will mention this, but frankly you can feel free to ignore it because even I find it pedantic & not always helpful in getting your work to sound right - there were a few sentences starting with the word 'but' throughout.

o/ Enjoyment? An engaging read? 10/10
Absolutely loved it! It was exciting, engaging and a thoroughly entertaining read. The thing about 'a pirate captain needing to be a little diabolical' actually made me laugh out loud and the fights were fantastic and well-written. I was hooked the whole way through.

o/ Overall? 10/10
Fantastic chapter. Real stellar work. I loved every minute.

Author's Response: Oh, that sucks. I'm sorry you haven't found a map of Konoha. I don't even think I've ever seen a decent one, so I'm sorry I can't help you with that :(

Great! That's my goal in this story, to keep my readers guessing! Hmm, I can definitely understand where you coming from the 'integrity' thing. I know exactly what you mean, for I have seen that happen in stories as well. I don't intend on portraying the Blue Pirates with hearts of gold or anything of the sort, but I do intend on bringing about their original personalities, before they were pirates, so that we see some characterization. Thanks for the word of caution though, I'll definitely try to steer away from that with renewed vigor :D Ah, hehe, Masaru recalls the first day he met Kasumi, which was when she was a fragile little girl. As for serving under her as her first mate, well, that explanation will be coming in the next couple chapters. A lot of important things from the past will be revealed, so don't worry ;) Haha, a wind jutsu in the form of a wolf, did you honestly expect any less from me? XD

Sweetness! I didn't know I was considered perfect in this category, so that's an awesome compliment to hear!

Aww, my inconsistency with description is a problem, I see... Well, that's so disappointing yet helpful to hear. I'll definitely try harder, thanks for telling me about that.

Oh my god, I didn't realize I had butchered him so badly! I can't believe I did that, I did the main character of the manga no justice at all! *sigh* I'm so upset with myself... Darn... Thanks so much for telling me about this, I'll definitely try harder to write him correctly in his next appearance.

Hmm, I never noticed any of that before... I usually pay attention to the beginning of my sentences; I can't believe it didn't turn out as well. Yeesh, I must have been in a sloppy mood when I wrote this chapter...

Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed reading this! Even with all the inconsistencies in this installment, I'm so happy you still liked it! Especially with the fights, since it was ridiculously hard to write some of those battles... Thanks so much for reading this! I really appreciate this honest critique, I shall use this to pump myself up when writing the next chapter! Thanks again for reading and reviewing, you're amazing, Batty-Onee-san!



Name: Red Mist (Signed) · Date: 09/11/11 - 07:29 am · For: Circus
XD This was so awesome! I don't know how you think your battles can suck, they're so amazing! Way better than anything I could ever hope to write (then again, I'm not a writer, lol).

Anyway, this chapter was written so well, you've definitely improved since the beginning of this story. There's a lot more description and intense dialogue than there was in the start of this fic.

I really love Kasumi, she's shaping to be one of the best OCs I've ever read. She's not a Mary-Sue, which is amazing since I thought her being so tough and everything would completely make her a Sue. I'm very glad to know I am wrong; I really love her complicated personality.

I'm also really liking Masaru. I kinda hope he's the romance with Kasumi, I think they'd be adorable together. But anyway, I like how you're developing Masaru, he's becoming quite likable.

Side note: during this entire chapter, I imagined Masaru with a British accent, just like the Pirates of the Caribbean characters :P

Right, anyway, after all that rambling, I just wanted to say that this was a freaking incredible chapter. I can't wait to read more about the pirates and their pasts, this definitely was a nice setup for that. Can't wait for more, keep up the awesome work SilverWolf-san!

Author's Response: Yay! This was such a nice review! Thank you so much!

I am really happy that you liked the fights. I don't know, I just never think they come out the way I want. And the taijutsu-only fight was a pain in the butt especially, but I didn't know a way around it - I couldn't let Kasumi use her kekkei genkai so early in the reformation process, that's just unrealistic. So I'm glad you thought the battles came out nicely in this chapter.

Yeah, I went back and read the first few chapters of this fic and nearly had a heart attack at how awful I was. I can tell I've improved as well, but I still have a long ways to go in writing :P

I'm so happy you like Kasumi. My goal is to make everyone fall in love with her :D But it's a bit hard not to make her a Mary-Sue because she's supposed to an amazingly strong S-class criminal. I feel like I'm wrong to show that she has weaknesses, but I don't want her to be perfect either. Ugh, I hate these conflicting feelings... But yeah, her complicated attitude is something that I've grown to love as well; I try to add a lot more depth to her so that the readers see her as something different than what they initially thought.

Haha, I'm glad you like Masaru as well. I personally can't tell if I like him more or Kasumi more XP As for romance... eh, you'll find out later ;)

Heehee, Pirates of the Caribbean XD Best movies ever!

I'm so happy that you liked this chapter. Thank you very much for taking the time to review, it really means a lot. This review made my day. Thanks again for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it!


Name: shadow9000 (Signed) · Date: 08/11/11 - 02:35 am · For: Circus
Wow....Wow...WOW....!!!!!
Hurrahhh...!!!!! :DD
THANK YOU for updating, Urufu-chan..!! :D
From all u wer sayin to me back than... i thought i'd hv to wait another month or so for updates from u... :/
but Yay..!!:D lol (i sound like a girl with all those comments^ =_=")
Anyways....i hd to read it in parts... n i might've forgotten some important parts... som sorry..
bt i'l review on all i remember reading :)
The decsription of the the Prison was quite detailed and Awesome... jsut as expected frm the Incredible Writer as urself :D
Hehe...
so Kasumi hs had an Encounter with The 'Icha Icha Paradise' xDD
Lol...i see so she ain't interested in tht kinda crap :P
n hey... i used a character from this fic too... >_< thnx for rememberin me... T_T
So Masaru was the first to meet Kasumi...
n tht too when she wasn't as blood-thirsty as she is now? So r they both the Founders of the Crew....?
The poor guy cant concentrate on anything without thinkin on Kasumi... i cn undrstand hw he feels :/ xD
He's started to take decisions without thinkin cz of the Stress.... this aint good for him n the crew...
Well... tht sure is something u might expect from The Hatake...
heh... Naruto n his usual annoyin bubbly self.... =_=
xD i like the snappy remarks from Kasumi.... hw do u come up with those...? lol they really r annoyin n n funny n kool....xP
Do u hv some Anime character in mind while writin bout Kasumi? or Totally Original stuff...?
hmm... as i said... he really is lettin the stress get the better of him (Masaru) he fell for tht trick...from the Mist Shinobi...
Slime style? O.o
kool.... lol i suppose it was demon fox's idea? :P
or maybe not... seein u said it took u 2 whole months...!
Ah....i ws wonderin wat'd happen if Inari would've recognised Sasuke... O_O
n lol at hw irritatin he is... x]
So they'r finally goin to make their move...n into Konoha...
Thats interesting... wat if Team 7 meet up already...? :)
sooo many possibilities...
heh... i cn Imagine Sakura crushing Kasumi's hands... nw tht'd b painful...:/
U really dnt stress much on Battles do u... :P
They are usually pretty good... but u've made up ur mind set tht u'r not tht good.. -.- n write em with such a mind-set.... y do u keep doin it?
they wern't as detailed and as good as u usually write em... dnt get me wrong they wer kool... but u usually do better ones...all three of them... wer nice...
Wow...tht scene at the river...
it ws so.... Dramatic... Original... Different...n Interesting..(not gettin the right word =_=)
~*r0;How many bad deeds does it take to corrupt a person?r1;*~ does tht mean she might b repentin or somethin like tht? or just thinkin O.o
And Naruto seemd a lil too wise here...
the way he usually becomes... at crucial times...unintentionally :P
thts hw he changes guys like Sasuke, Haku, Gaara blah blah...hate to admit it... but he really turns into a Genious at times.. :/
n than he turns bac to his dumb air-head self xDDD
I feel Kakashi ws spyin on hw Kasumi Reacts? as if he knew tht'd happen?
The slime style turly is innovative... n quite a fight for the pirates huh?
sheesh Masaru ws already undr stress... n fleeing away ws the last thing he wanted...now tht'l b like a cherry topping... :/
Hw'l the crew respond...? as in challenge his authority?or b loyal?
(y am i asking so many questions? -.-)
OMG.... O_O
So she's made her move...n began the infiltration... in 5 days only?
She is desperate :/
Cant wait for the next update... ut cant help T_T

Submissions finisd? :D kool...!!
so u'l hv more free time than b4 :) Glad for u....^.^
wish u luck as in for the grades?
well sure.... all da best... n hope u gt...wateva it is u want...
I knw my review wont make much of a difference...nd isn't of any use... bt well...
AWESOME JOB URUFU...!!
Keep up the good work...!!! :D

Author's Response: Haha, well, you're welcome for updating ^_^ I was under a lot of stress the past couple months, and with some added pressure from my parents, I finished the college applications. So it's quite a relief now.

I don't know why, but writing the prison scenes are easier for me than some other scenes. In terms of description, at least. I think that makes me a sick person, that I like writing the prison scenes and their elaboration :P

Heehee, yes, the Icha Icha Paradise thing was just a quick little insert of humor that I decided to throw in there. I can't imagine Kasumi would like very graphic content such as Jiraiya's books, so I thought it would make for a quick laugh.

Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mention you :( I was thinking more of Kasumi when I wrote that. I'll go change that right away, because I do appreciate the fact that you decided to write about the Blue Pirates :)

Yes, Masaru was the first to meet Kasumi, and she wasn't as psycho as she is now. Um, I guess you could say that they are the founders, but it's actually the Original Nine who are the 'founders', since the Blue Pirates wouldn't exist without them together. The Original Nine are all the pirates I've given names to (Kasumi, Masaru, Hayashi, Ayame, Rikuto, Tsubame, Kaito, Akira, Osamu), so they're the real founders. You'll learn more about that though in the next couple chapters ;)

Yeah, Masaru's under a lot of stress with being captain. It's not an easy job ;D And he's trying to live up to the Blue Tiger of the Mist, since he wants to do her justice. But he's also really missing her, so he's not thinking clearly either.

Hmm, I'm glad you like Kasumi's attitude. A lot of thought goes into her dialogue because things that she says are usually either really deep or really clever. I actually don't think of anyone else when I write about her, I base her entire personality around my imagination and what I would want her to be like. So I'm especially glad you like that about her.

Haha, no, actually, the Slime Style was not Demon Fox's idea. That was completely made up on a whim XP

Yeah, I didn't want there to be a conflict between Sasuke and Inari, that would probably take up an entire chapter, and since that's not where the story is meant to go, I didn't want to dwell on it too much. So Sasuke's hood had to hide his face for the while :P Yes, the Sound shinobi will be making their move, though they may be put on hold for a few days to wait for Orochimaru. As for Team 7... meh, you'll have to wait and see ;)

Aww... I knew the battles didn't come out the way I wanted... Since the reformation activity included a taijutsu only battle, it was even harder for me to write because I've grown accustomed to writing Kasumi's kekkei genkai. But I'm surprised that you like some of my earlier battles, I don't think I was ever good at writing fights. I don't think I write with a mindset that I'm bad at writing, though I wouldn't be surprised if that what is subconsciously happening... But thanks for the honesty, I'll work on it for my upcoming fights later in the story.

I'm really happy that you liked the river scene, that part was actually planned. But I'm not going to go too into depth about the quote, I don't want to give away too much ;) Well, when Naruto comes in, he usually ends up being uncharacteristically smart when it comes to helping others. In a situation such as this, it may have been unintentional, but it at least helps to show another side to Kasumi :D Hmm, Kakashi may have known what happened to Kasumi; he does have the same faith in Naruto that Tsunade does. That sounds pretty valid; I didn't plan it that way, but that could definitely work.

Yeah, who knew slime would be so difficult for the pirates? And to think, I completely made that up for this chapter :P Masaru definitely didn't want to run away, no pirate captain ever wants to have to run. It's a sign of weakness in the eyes of the enemy and the crew. And you're totally right about the crew's response, it will be quite a lot for Masaru to handle when the time comes. That'll be coming in the next chapter ;)

Yeah, Kasumi REALLY hates Konoha, so she doesn't want to spend more time there than she has to. So the attack has begun (only a bit though, the intense parts come later).

Yes, my submissions are done, I'm very happy. I don't know how much free time I'll have though, my senior year classes are still difficult and all. Homework and tests are awful, so I don't know if that means I'll be updating more frequently or not. Anyway, thank you very much for the long review! I appreciate it! And thanks for the good wishes, they mean a lot. Thanks again for reading and reviewing, the feedback means a lot!


Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 07/11/11 - 08:57 pm · For: Circus
Wow... now this was an amazing chapter. There was just so much to like, I can't even write it all down in a review. Gosh... This was awesome, I really enjoyed this chapter. Great job on this, Wolf-chan. This was an excellent chapter. Keep up the awesome work with your writing.

Author's Response: Gosh, thank you so much. This is so nice ^_^ I really glad you liked it. That's so awesome to hear, thank you very much for the amazing feedback. Thanks again, Rainbow-chan! You're incredible!


Name: Demon Fox (Signed) · Date: 07/11/11 - 05:32 pm · For: Circus
This was awesome! The battles were absolutely amazing! I love action, and this chapter definitely delivered it. It was incredible!

Wow, Kasumi is such a complicated person. I really wonder what is going to happen with her...

Things are definitely becoming more interesting now. I can't wait to see how things turn out! Keep up the great work, SilverWolf!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad you liked the battles. If I was able to please you with action, then I know they came out decently ;) Why yes, Kasumi is quite complicated, and things are only get even more complicated with her in the long run ;D I'm glad you liked this chapter, thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it!


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 07/11/11 - 04:02 pm · For: Circus
Well, to start this off because I don't think I've done it yet:



Congratulations! You now have three stories that have earned YOUR STORY! Sheesh. You're going to have all of your stories under YOUR STORY at this rate.

Okay, now to your stories. Your story as in PotM, not your story as YOUR STORY..... Okay, never mind. This was amazing with very few mistakes. I can only remember one that I saw, but for all I know there could have been more. I've already forgotten about them, though, because the awesomeness of it just washed the mistakes away. Okay, now to the chapter. Wait, I'm on that.... Sorry, my mind's been blown to pieces from all the YOUR STORY in this chapter.

IT WAS AMAZING!!! I absolutely loved it, Silverwolf. I don't get why you say that you're fighting scenes aren't good. I think they're better than mine..... Why is it I have a feeling you're wanting to argue with me on that? But yeah, the entire thing was awesome. I loved how you had the Blue Pirates lose. It seemed like a great way to have that fight end. It's better than if they'd won. And then the whole part with Kasumi...... AMAZING!!!! I absolutely loved it. I liked how she didn't beat the crap out of them and busted out some amazing taijutsu skills or something. Instead you had her have to actually fight without being insanely good. She still had skill, though. And those times when it seemed like Kasumi and Masaru were being pulled into their memories was great. I think it made them seem more human. It showed they had more of a heart than what it seemed before. Don't get me wrong - before it was great. This just helped.... enforce it? I think that's the right word. Then the Naruto scene. Sheesh, where to being. It was just so freaking awesome. I love how it seems like he can somehow always say/do the thing that seems to effect people in a way nobody else can cause. And I loved seeing his effect on Kasumi. Overall, the battle scenes were amazing. Completely worthy of YOUR STORY. And there's only one more thing I have to say:......... SHE'S OUT!!!!!????

Author's Response: XD I have THREE stories that have earned the YOUR STORY award? My life is complete! Seriously Sasaui, that is how much your praise means to me ^_^

Wait, so you remember seeing mistakes? And you can't remember what they were? Aww.... Well, I guess I'll have to go back and proofread this abnormally long chapter on my own then :P If you do find them, let me know please, it'd be helpful.

Ah, yes, I will argue with you on the fight scenes thing. Not here, since that could take up an entire review page XP

I'm happy you saw my point in making the Blue Pirates lose. We've already seen them win, and we've already seen how 'amazing' they are. But not everyone's perfect, and since Kasumi's not around, Masaru already felt insecure; it's going to get a lot worse ;)

Huh, I'm kind of surprised you like Kasumi's fights. I was afraid since she's the legendary Blue Tiger of the Mist, she wasn't portrayed strong enough. But I did figure that since she was wearing the chakra bracelets, it gave her some vulnerability. So I'm glad you liked it :D

Yeah, since I recently figured out where I wanted to take this story, I am trying to throw in some things about memories and the Blue Pirates' pasts. As I believe I mentioned, I am trying to make everyone fall in love with Kasumi and maybe even her crew as well; what better way to do that than to make them all seem human ;)

Actually, that scene between Kasumi and Naruto was planned from the very beginning, one of the few that I can say I actually planned out :P I figured Naruto would be the one to say these kinds of things. I'm super glad it came out nicely :)

Haha, yes, she's out. I don't know if I'll show what actually happened, I might just imply what happened in the next chapter. But anyway, I'm so glad you liked this chapter, especially since I had such trouble writing it. Your praise means the world to me, thank you very much, Sasaui! You're awesome!


Name: Red Mist (Signed) · Date: 05/10/11 - 05:39 am · For: Secrets
Gosh, I stayed up all night reading this. I would have reviewed earlier, but then I passed out... :/

But anyway, I really love this story! It's so cool! The entire theme of pirates was so awesome, and I enjoyed every moment of this! I hope you update this story soon, it's so amazing!

Author's Response: Aww, I'm so honored that you stayed up so late to read my story :D Thank you very much for doing so. I'm really glad you enjoyed this. I hope this story continues to please you. Thanks for the wonderful review! I appreciate the support a lot!


Name: Red Mist (Signed) · Date: 04/10/11 - 06:30 pm · For: The Blue Pirates
:D A story about pirates? Coolio! I'm already excited to read more! Great imagination, this seems really well done already. Now I'm going to read more! Nice job so far!

Author's Response: Hehe, I'm glad you like the beginning so far. I'm happy that this has captured your interest. I hope you continue to enjoy this. Thanks for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it!


Name: nkbz (Signed) · Date: 01/10/11 - 07:29 pm · For: Rematch! Pirates versus Ninjas!
I'm not sure how S class these goons are, but I like it! Haha the pirate leader is a girl, that's a funny joke.

I think that there could have been more dialogue between the pirates and ninja to make the fight more personal and build a rivalry, in anime they always love to pause and banter about crap. I really think your strength in fics is dialogue and not action.

Shino should have turned the entire landscape into kikaichu and blotted out the sun with them. nazenara, he is a boss.

The original and interesting plot really carries me through this fic.

Author's Response: My gosh... I can't believe you still like this. This has really kept you interest? O_O I'm surprised. I've always wanted a female pirate captain, hence, the Blue Tiger of the Mist. It's funny, Battle Stadium was posted to help authors, myself included, improve on battle scenes. That's when I realized I liked dialogue better than action. So yes, I strongly agree with the fact that my action sucks. *shakes head* Sorry, no Shino action right now... Gosh, I'm so happy you like this story so far. I feel so accomplished now :D Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


Name: nkbz (Signed) · Date: 01/10/11 - 12:44 pm · For: Two Totally Different Plans
Haha "ninja are very predictable" :D

*old man voice* deez ninja ain't wat dey used ta be!

Author's Response: Heehee, couldn't have said it better myself ;D


Name: nkbz (Signed) · Date: 01/10/11 - 10:54 am · For: Two Totally Different Plans
Dayumm! The entire frikkin village, my god.I like this a lot, I have to say:

If there was an entire boatload of S ranked criminals floating around in the sea, i'd imagine the countries would keep an eye on them. Not to mention I doubt it would be reasonable for only 2 Jounin to be sent after an entire crew composed of Akatsuki level villains.

I mean, judging by the sound of the blue pirates, if they land anywhere it should be a damn state of emergency.

Author's Response: XD I'm really happy you like this so much. Meh, true enough, but as Kakashi said, Naruto is his own army. Other than that... *hangs head in shame* I have no other excuse. That is truly my fault and misjudgement. Other than that though, I'm glad you like it :D Thanks for reading and reviewing!


Name: nkbz (Signed) · Date: 26/09/11 - 05:01 pm · For: The Blue Pirates
This is sick. I like the idea a lot. HOWEVER~! I am appalled at the horrific amount of violence. What has come over you?! Inari is just a little kid.

^_~

no, I really do like this one so far.

Author's Response: I wasn't insinuating that you should read this! I was saying that you my main character is different than Suki! *sigh* Well anyways, since you've gone and read it anyway... I freaked out when I saw 'This is sick' and 'HOWEVER'. But phew, I'm glad you liked this. Oh, I guess I was a bit mean to Inari... Hmm, I guess I'm mean to the normal characters too... Wow, I'm glad you like this. I'm flattered, thank you very much for reading and reviewing, I deeply appreciate it :D


Name: Demon Fox (Signed) · Date: 24/08/11 - 12:19 am · For: Secrets
Wow! This was so cool! Oh, thanks for giving credit to me, but you did an awesome job of writing it all! Haha, everything was so fun and cool at the same time! I liked this chapter, and it was long too! :D Good work, it was really good!

Author's Response: Well, I'm going to give credit when and where credit is due. I couldn't have done this chapter without your idea, so thanks again! I'm glad you like the way I wrote your idea, I feel so accomplished XD Thank you very much for all the reviews, I appreciate it very much! Thanks for reading this, and thanks even more for bothering to review! You're awesome!


Name: Demon Fox (Signed) · Date: 24/08/11 - 12:14 am · For: Pirates Will Be Pirates
Wow, Chouji just might start eating healthy because of Kasumi XD The pirate scene was awesome, I love the pirates, they're so cool! And Kasumi's anger was really scary, but I'm a little sad there wasn't a bigger fight against Team Asuma. I guess because Kasumi wasn't really focusing because she was so mad, right? Oh well... This was an incredible chapter anyway, fantastic job!

Author's Response: Haha, well, let's hope Chouji doesn't get too healthy; it would ruin the whole Akimichi image :P Yeah, the pirates are starting to be really fun to write about; I'm glad you like them. Oh, I'm sorry the Kasumi vs Team Asuma fight wasn't as intense as you would like. But you're right in saying that the Blue Tiger of the Mist wasn't paying attention; her anger is a huge flaw for her. I'm glad you still liked this chapter though, thank you very much for your feedback! I seriously love it!


Name: Demon Fox (Signed) · Date: 23/08/11 - 11:51 pm · For: Reformation Begins Now!
Ooh, Sasuke and Orochimaru are getting involved now. As much as I hate him, I think Orochimaru is right: a Kasumi vs Sasuke fight would so intense!

Team Guy cracked me up! It was so funny. I felt bad for Kasumi, since she dealt with them on her first day. Haha, I can't wait to see more reformation fun! Excellent work with this!

Author's Response: Yeah, no matter how creepy Orochimaru is, he is right in saying that a Kasumi and Sasuke fight would be pretty epic ;) Well, I'm glad you liked Team Guy, though we both know that Kasumi certainly didn't XD More reformation fun is just up ahead, I hope you continue to like Kasumi's torture... uh, I mean reformation, yeah, that's it... Haha, thanks for reviewing!


Name: Demon Fox (Signed) · Date: 23/08/11 - 11:43 pm · For: Waking Up In Vegas
Haha, Tsunade is so evil to Kasumi in this. She's awesome! Kasumi is still really cool, though I can't wait to read her reformation activities XD This was amazing, nice job!

Author's Response: Yeah, Tsunade is a bit more devious in this chapter... and possibly this story, actually. Haha, you'll definitely enjoy the reformation activities; that's when the real fun begins :D I'm glad you liked this, thank you very much for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it!


Name: Demon Fox (Signed) · Date: 23/08/11 - 11:33 pm · For: Rematch! Pirates versus Ninjas!
Best... battle... ever! The captain is so cool, and her abilities were awesome! The fight was just incredible, I really liked it. It was definitely amazing. Excellent chapter, it was my favorite so far!

Author's Response: Haha, I guess this battle made up for the lack of action in the last chapter, huh? I'm really glad you liked the fight, since I think I have trouble making them flow just right. But this is your favorite? Yay! I'm so happy you liked it so much! I'm glad you enjoyed. Thanks a bunch for reading and reviewing, you're amazing!


Name: Demon Fox (Signed) · Date: 23/08/11 - 11:17 pm · For: Two Totally Different Plans
Aw, no action. But the plans were interesting, I just want to read more fights ;D But it was still pretty good. Nice work on this, it was pretty funny to see that the pirates are going to outsmart the ninja XD

Author's Response: Oh, I'm sorry the lack of action bothered you :( Don't worry, the fights and action will be coming! Haha, yeah, the pirates are going to outsmart the ninja, who believe they are going to be outsmarting the pirates :P Ah, planning can be rather complicated sometimes... I'm glad you were able to get through this, since I know you only like exciting scenes :D Thanks for reviewing too, I appreciate your time!


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