Your story has really become so interesting, it pains me I won't be following it anymore. Your writing improves in leaps, Sasaui, and I like what you've done with Yuumai. She's really become your own character, rather than a reflexion of the friend she was inspired by. Really, she's nothing like her anymore, which is to be preferred, in my opinion.

anyhow, with that said, I commend you on your story. Please, keep it going strong for those who are so thoroughly enjoying it :)

Author's Response: It pains me as well that you won't be reading it anymore. It was nice to know someone would like this story so much, and a part of fulfilling my wish as a writer. I write to share these worlds in my head with those who will enjoy them, so even losing one reviewer is saddening. Especially those I consider friends. I'm also upset that Yuumai is losing her similarity, but only because it felt like a way to continue the bond I felt toward the friend she was inspired by since she isn't really around the internet world anymore I miss her, but she chose to leave, and I can't do anything but accept that. I just hope and pray the reason she is different from the original is a good thing. I will. This is one story I shall not give up on any time soon because so many enjoy it, especially Yuumai. Of course, for you, it would be enjoyed. Though if by chance you decide to read one last chapter, it will be updated again on March 1, one year since Yuumai first appeared. Although I doubt you will, I felt the need to share that information. Seeing as I have nothing else to say here and since most of the people who review even once are, goodbye, friend.

Wow... i can't even remember the last time i read a CS Chapter!! :O
well ^^ glad i finally can :D:D

i was actually confused in the begining whether i'd missed something :P
but then i saw all those were actually new characters xD
So... the Chief chef and his grand daughter have some history with Shinobi aye?
and why was he lookin at Hime like that O.o just coz she reminds him of his grand daughter, or cz she's more beautiful than his mimi,
or... is he a pervert? .__. xDD

hmm... ryu and Yuumai sparring...
cool how u've not made Ryu overly powerful :D
and he's still in the developing phase... learnin the basic stuff every ninja should...
and he does take lots of time to learn difficult stuff how any normal shinobi would :P he's truely far from a gary-sue alright! ^.^ this reminds me of the RP between Ryu and Kazuki and their lil clashes in FFW xD its sure was fun :P lol...

anyways...
alteast i remember stuff from the previous chapter... -sigh
but i might hardly remember even the vital stuff from the earlier chapters :/
o well... i'l just read em again ^^

owh crap! O_O Asuma got tricked!!! D: not good not good... sooooo not good....!!!!!!!

GREAT chapter Puny-chan ^^ (-smirks)
i'l read the next chapter by tomorrow :D

Author's Response: I know. I hadn't updated in a while. I'm sooooo sorry T^T. But I hope to fix that and update things more often now that I'm off my break and getting more of a manage of time. Or will have once I finish my History homework <_<. Though we shall just see how that works in the future. I also need to get my brain off CS because I do have other stories, though right now I'm just wanting to get this arc down. All in all, that means you'll probably see more of this than the other stories for a bit..... No, you didn't miss anything. They were brand new to everyone. Hehe. You wanna know more about them? You're going to have to read Final Wish, then. They shall play a role in that story as well. *rolls eyes * No, he's not a perv. Well, to tell the truth, most guys are, so I guess in a way he is. He was just shocked by the beauty, and then the later eying thing had to do with Hime. I am trying my best to keep him away from Gary-Stew territory. I just hope I can keep it that way. So far I am doing a good job I guess. Haha. Ryu and Kazuki. Good times. Good, good times. Well, if you do read them again, I hope you enjoy it, Shadow-san. Yep. Big twist at the end. Now Daichi is back and their Sensei is gone. What shall happen now? You must read to find out. Muwhahahaha. Though part of it is in the next chapter. Glad you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope you enjoy the next chapter as well.

Romance novels! Sorry. I didn't read the chapter yet. I just wanted to be the first reviewer and also to be the first one to answer the question, especially since I usually fail at the questions. :3 I'll read the chapter later since I've to return to my den now. New roomie will be here soon. Out, Niji-chan ^_^

Author's Response: I think it was, to be exact, teen romance novels, but basically, yes. Well, whenever you do get to reading the chapter, I hope you enjoy it.

>:X good other than the fact it was a pain to read that many words...Ryu is really nice...

Author's Response: Haha. Sorry about all the words, Dino-chan. But that's only the beginning XD. And yes, Ryu is really really nice.

I just realized, this is the last chapter, and then I'm caught up. I can officially say that I am prepared to write my story for the contest! XD

Shikamaru-kun's jutsu?

So I'm getting eleven thousand and thirty-one words when I copy and paste onto Word. That certainly did get pretty long, eh, Sasa-chan?

Kogane. Ko. Ga. Ne. I keep trying to say Kagone because of Kagome. X3

I figure this chapter's actually rather recent-ish, so I should be allowed to point out mistakes and whatnot now, nee?

“Sentou!” The man who had cried out wore a dark green shirt with the sleeves rolled all the way up and blue pants. He stepped forward, his sandaled foot making a slight thud. His darker green hair fell in spikes over his face, slightly obscuring his vision. But it didn’t make what he saw any different.

My problem with this paragraph is actually the first two sentences. There are two ways you could have done this that would have been better than what you did do, which by the way I've seen you do before but ignored because it was old writing that I had assumed you would have quite doing by now. What you've got here is an awkward transition from dialogue to description of the dialogue. The first option would have been to switch up the descriptive sentence a bit, and adding the simple "he said", such as:
"Sentou!" a man (suddenly) shouted. He wore a dark green shirt with the sleeves rolled up and blue pants. When he stepped forward, his sandaled foot made a slight thud....
The other option, the one that I prefer and is also simpler, would have been as simple as breaking it up into two paragraphs, like so:
“Sentou!”

The man who had cried out wore a dark green shirt with the sleeves rolled all the way up and blue pants.

This buffer of starting a new paragraph actually creates the transition between the dialogue and the rest of the story quite nicely, without distracting from what you were trying to achieve at all. Also, I think it should be noted that with the first option of keeping it one paragraph I also adjusted the third sentence a bit to keep things smooth.

Next thing. Are these two guys, Sentou and the other one, going to be important and major later on in this arc, or are they one time deal kind of guys? Because, as I see being only a couple paragraphs into the chapter so far, they don't seem to me like they are going to be major, but maybe I will be proved wrong as the chapter goes on. My point being, and we've already noted that this is a problem of yours, is that if these guys aren't going to be important later on, you've put in too much description, or maybe just the wron description in for them. The dark green hair thing is fine, as that's a reacurring feature that seems to be different and possibly a characteristic of these folks from what has been read so far. From the description of their outfits, I can gather that these people seem to wear more neutral, earthy colors that suit the forest they live in? And their hair color seems to contribute to this feel as well. So, if I'm correct and you want to make that noted for the reader, then say that, what I said. The first man's description wasn't so bad, though I think that making a point to mention that his sleeves were rolled up was unnecesary and made the sentence slightly awkward. The second man, Sentou's, description, though, was definitely over the top. He had a more detailed outfit, which caused you to distract from the actual story in order to describe it. A simple sentence like Just like the first man, his clothes were of earthy tones, down to his ninja sandals. There, I even got in the fact that he wore ninja sandals without adding it in awkwardly. Remember. This is not a manga. This is not an anime. This is not a TV show. This is not a comic. This is a novel, writing. What sets writing apart from these other things is that it is NOt visual. It demands that the partaker in this form of entertainment work and think to form the image in their mind for themselves. It's a beautiful thing, truly, and when you just lay it all out like that you take that away from the reader. And these descriptions don't even fit in smoothly, anyway, which takes away from the reading experience. Think about it. In anime and manga and regular TV, do they take specific time to show you all of the details of the person's outfit? No. That would slow the flow of the story down. It's just something we see as the story goes along. With writing, if done properly, a person's or setting's imagery description can be the same. It will enhance the experiment, helping the reader picture the people, the things, the places, the mood, and so on much better. But if done improperly it can drag you out of the story and make falling into that imaginary world more difficult. The easiest way to do this improperly is to give too much description on something that doesn't need that much description.

The person before him was clocked, making both their gender and their appearance unknown. Sentou was just slightly taller than the other person, but that was all that Sentou could tell. I'm assuming you mean cloaked? Also, the use of Sentou twice in that sentence is awkward. I would suggest using he the second time in such a situation in the future.

This fight is interesting. I like it. You don't get all the details, but that's not really the important part here, is it? And it's good. Smooth, kind of, sophisticated's not the right word, but something similar? Gaaaa, the English language doesn't have enough words to describe everything I try to explain.

They had a great meaning, he knew that, but he sucked at matching eyes to faces. It wasn’t until the person spoke he knew who stood before him. Man, you were really getting this good feeling going, the one I attempted to explain up above. *points upward to previous paragraph* But then you ruined it all with one word. I was on this total high in this really mysterious, nice, slighlty.... that feeling.... world, and then suddenly it was this whole crash and burn thing, ruining the mood you had built up. And the word that did this? Sucked It just, that's such a crude, lower life form word (that I do use but not in these situations) that doesn't fit in. It would have been better to say, but he was terrible at matching... or something similar.

..................... Or maybe these dudes would be more important. =_= Yet my point about the awkward descriptions further up still stands, though. Even if a more detailed description was called for, it was inadequately done and could use some work.

You know, you really do have a way of setting up these really serene images with the start of a scene. And I've also noticed that with these last few chapters you've been getting in these special observations of things that many writers wouldn't think of but really help to complete the picture. As I'm sure I've said before, this kind of writing is my utmost favorite in the world. I'm a girl of observation, of thought, of focusing on those little things and seeing beauty in it, so when I find a writer that can actually give me the little quirks of life like that in their writing, I will, well, I will praise them to no end. I think you have the potential to become one of these writers. I don't think you will be fully detail to the extreme as some are, such as Peanut, but you will definitely fall under this category. For a real, already established author who can do this, you may want to consider looking up Pearl S. Buck. She was raised in China because her parents were missionaries, and as an adult was a missionary there herself. She also was in Japan for a time and I believe South Korea possibly as well. She died decades ago, but her works are well known. She wrote about Asian folks and Asian culture, as she saw it growing up in it, and she was a huge advocate in closing the distances between the East and the West. East Wind, West Wind is a notable work of hers that actually hits on a bit of that if I'm remembering name correctly to the story. I've read a number or her novels and at times confuse which title goes with which story. =_=

Is who watching Ryu right now!? Is who truly gone!?

"He would prefer people only speak the truth. There were times, however, where people spoke what they saw as the truth too much and ended up eventually hurting someone." My thoughts exactly. :)

Sorry. I suddenly feel rather tired, so for the rest of the chapter, I may or may not be as observant as I have so far. Still, I SHALL finish the chapter! And we move on. :P

Owh! Demonic puppies again! Heheh. X3

Tis really bugging me about Ino's problem. I want to know! Is this something in the manga or a thing or your own creation? Tell me!!!!

Hmmmm. I do like that you point out the danger of cigarettes while at the same time eliminating the repetition of the actual word, but I do think you take it a little far sometimes. Don't do it too much, you know? Sometimes just sticking to good old fashioned "a cigarette" is nice in its simplicity and familiarity.

That very morning seemed to approach both too slow and too fast. Too fast because Ryu needed more sleep and too slow because he wanted to rid himself of his haunted dreams. Despite he felt like he was lacking sleep, Ryu still forced away most of the lingering tiredness so that he could get everything done. Asuma seemed to notice his occasional falter where he’d stop whatever he was doing because a new wave of exhaustion hit him because he approached him and questioned him on his wellbeing. Since it was Ryu, he lied and claimed to be fine.
Very awkward paragraph. I know what you wanted to say it, but each sentence was still a bit confusing to read or at the very least awkward. Despite THAT he felt like... would have fixed that sentence very easily, but that last sentence, OMC, it's confusing and also a really bad run on sentence.

I really want to hear those birds sing, I do. Too bad it had to be interrupted for Ryu by trouble, eh?

Reading about this forest and all, the image that comes to mind is the forest in Princess Mononoke Ancient, huge, mysterious, and beautiful.

And here we have the introduction of characters again with too much description. Saying simply that the group wore basic shinobi attire should be enough. Now with the guy with the open vest and scars, I like the mention of that, but I don't care about the rest of his clothes. Something like this would have been preferable: The taller of the two wore nothing but an open vest on top, revealing a myriad of scars (optional: on his chest) and making his already intimidating figure scarier. I honestly probably wouldn't have even put in the clothing description for Yuumai. The rest of her description is fine and muchly appreciated, but the clothing description is unnecessary and not traditionally included in writing. It distracts and doesn't really matter. The fact that she was holding is important, though, obviously.

I feel like blanking is a bad thing and should not be done! You should never willingly do something that will cloud your judgement, Ryu! You may regret it. *stares sternly* Also, you've only just become a genin not that long ago! You've got a long time to learn! Don't think stupid things like you alone aren't enough!

How does Lord Daichi know Ryu or rather more likely of Ryu? O_o

Hmm, maybe I've been kind of picky today. But I think that's necessary if you really want perfection. And this review's even super longer than usual because the chapter's longish plus I decided to hit you with improvements instead of just my normal reactions since this was a newer chapter.


Out,
Masumi TAT

Author's Response: Holy. Cow. Long. Review. *sigh and hangs head* Here goes nothing. Like Saku-chan, you are correct. It was Shika-kun. I didn't mean for it to be that long - promise. Haha. Yeah, originally when I saw that I thought of Kagome. Though that is not the name. As you said, it is Kogane. Well, it's not like I can stop you from pointing out mistakes since you already did. Thanks for the help. I'm trying to work on description a lot. It seems to be an area I'm putting too much information in. And also it's nice to know how to transition better. Again, thanks for your help on this. *facepalm* Like I said, you need to learn to trust me, Niji-chan. I know somewhat what I am doing. Oops U^_^. I meant cloak, yes. And I think I just had a momentarily lapse because usually I feel weird doing what I did in that sentence and would normally write he rather than Sentou. Again, oops. You're right. The English language needs more words. Maybe we should create some and then make our own dictionary with the words in them XD. Gah - my own mental thoughts slipped into the writing. I am trying to work on word choice, and you're right. That particular word choice wasn't very good. I'm sorry for ruining the, uh, feeling. I'll try to watch out for it later (as you should since you're my beta =P). I do? Really? Wow...... I don't think I've ever even noticed it. I probably do it on accident actually *scratches back of head*. Since this is on accident, I cannot promise it will be done in the future as well, though seeing as it appears to be a habit of mine, I predict it will occur again. Haha. You don't get to know who Ryu is thinking about yet! Muwhahahaha! Yep. That's when people should just bite their tongues. Yep. The demonic dogs are back. They really hate Ryu and it's so fun to randomly throw them in XD. They shall be back, that I promise you. If I don't forget XP. So maybe not so promise as much as hope to do. Why, it is my own creation of course. Adding in stuff is always so fun. As to what it is, though, something else you will have to wait to find out. Oops. My bad again. I'll keep that in mind since it'll obviously come up again seeing as Asuma smokes a lot. Yeah, I tend to write what I think. As you can see with this paragraph, that isn't always the best. I'll need to watch for that more and maybe (just maybe) read over my own stuff before I post it/send it to you. Well, I had to have that happen because I didn't know how else to describe them U^_^. Princess Mononoke is awesome! I feel so accomplished having something of mine compared to that T^T. I'm starting to do that less and just making basic reference to it if I can, though sometimes it has to do with stuff as you have seen in the newest chapter preview I sent you. Like with Hime? That pink thing is a key feature to her, seeing as her nickname is Pink Princess. I know I'm at least doing better. Just not sure how much better....... Well, I've always found blanking to be when I fight best, and although it can be dangerous, it can be helpful. So I know from experience how it turns out. And yeah, it may be stupid for him to do that, but it was necessary, as you'll see next chapter I believe. Again, trust me, Niji-chan XP. *facepalm* Since you already pointed out you remember who he is, I shall not say a word to that. Nitpickiness is needed sometimes, so thanks for it. And yes, it was very very long. Then again, as you said, so was the chapter, so I guess that is partially my fault, huh? Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing, Niji-chan!

It's 12:11 right now, and I'm extremely attempted to get a head start on this chapter right now, but I'm so out of it and feel like I wouldn't do it justice, so I'm forcing myself not to read any of the chapter and just continue working on the synopsis for my Teuchi but not really Teuichi story. X3

*next day*

You had a nice, image inducing open to the chapter again. I liked it muchly, I did. :D

And now we have the explanation as to why you/the hokage put Ryu on Asuma's team! XD Seeing it in this light, it does make sense. Ryu is a very special situation, and you can't go letting just anyone know about it. A trust would need to be built, and that would take time, time that may not be available for a new sensei should something happen with Ryu.

Owh! What a dramatic exit for Asuma-sensei! X3 And all for his cigarette. *laughs*

It's sweet that Ino and Sakura's relationship bothers him, it is. And yet he still wants to be friends with both. :D

Ino dislikes sashimi!? But it's so yummy! *is truly distressed about this development* All of the kid's answers were interesting, but I think that Ryu's were rather thought provoking, yup. He hits you the way Sasuke's answers hit you in the manga. But poor Ryu. He doesn't get an adjective. X3

The morning/night before the test was very nice. We haven't really seen how everything affected Ryu-kun since the time skip; now we see it. Even though Ryu has healed some, he's still so troubled and traumatized by what happened. You can feel it down to your bones, you can. It really makes you want to reach out to him.

This is a fun test I think. It was entertaining to see everyone turn to Ryu only to have him not know anything, anyway. It was cute to see his reaction to such attention as well.

The cat and Ino scene was very interesting. Calm and yet speaking of trouble to come, and I was sure that the cat would show up again and probably had something to do with the test and Asulma. Ah, but it was the call before the storm? Yup yup. And of course the Chouji and Shikamaru scene did that to an extent as well, but what I really took out of that scene mainly was the discussion on Ryu and the noting of the changes he went through since the whole kidnapping incident and whatnot. It's very sweet and nice. Actually, it distracted me from the eerie feeling that the cat had given me.

I hadn't thought about the fact that Ryu's relationship with Naruto would have sped up the crossing of paths for Konohamaru and Naruto. To think he's been under crazy Naruto's influence for an even longer amount of time, I can't help but laugh. XD

Is it bad that I had a creepy suspicion that it wasn't actually Sakura but really Asuma talking to Ryu? Also, negligent, Ryu, even if Sakura says Asuma isn't in your home, doesn't mean he isn't hiding somewhere in it and she just didn't see him. YOu still should have checked yourself. Tsk tsk tsk.

*reads further on* ................................ Ah, it really was him, wasn't it!

“It’s when you underestimate people you learn why not to.” I really like that. X3

As always, Ryu's irritation at Asuma's bad habit strikes and makes me laugh. :D

So, over all, I really liked this chapter. It was well written, entertaining, and though it was indeed long, it didn't feel as long as it was because it was nice and light, carrying you forward. That's what you want in a story. It should carry you forward, and you achieved that very well this time around.

Out,
Masumi TAT

P.S.
Didn't have internet last night. Giving you this review just as I'm gearing up to actually read today's chapter. XD

Author's Response: I am so glad that you like it, Niji-chan. I wish to please, after all. It seems like this story is where I do my best imagining. Yep, I have. I have a reason for everything I do, Niji-chan. You just have to be patient! And you should really start trusting me. How dare you think I was doing something just for the fun of it. Which I do do sometimes....... But still - not the point! Haha. I was afraid that was overkill and random, but at least someone found it funny. I can imagine him doing that for some reason if he had no reason to put it out. Niji-chan, it's Ryu. What did you expect? Wow. If Shay thinks Danny is a goody-two shoes, what would she say about Ryu? I cannot say anything to that. I found it on the wikia page. It said she doesn't like sashimi. That's why I know Asuma likes soba. Don't worry about poor adjective-lacking Ryu. He will get one soon. Just you wait and see. Haha. Not sure how he would take it being compared to Sasuke. I'm glad you feel so connected to Ryu like that. He has been really traumatized, and I'm always glad to show that because it's so easy to forget. I'm sure Ryu needs someone to reach out to him. Too bad the idiot won't let anyone know how bad it really is. Haha. Well, since they figured he would know the most about Asuma, it would be obvious to go to him. And it was so fun having him be clueless XD. And of course - the little guy is bashful. He isn't used to that attention. Though he must get used to it for his future. What do I mean? You don't get to know! Muwhahaha! Good, then both scenes did as they were supposed to. You know, I never meant to throw that Ryu observation thing in. I did it at the last moment because I had been winging it completely when I first started the story and had Ryu disliked, and then suddenly that was gone when he came back, so I winged it again and decided to have the two speaking explain a bit of that. Shhhh. Don't tell others how winged that was. Now that I think about it, I probably just made little Konohamaru's mind worse. Sorry Konohamaru-kun! Well, he's only a genin. I can't have him be perfect, now can I? Anyway, even if he did check, he never would have known Asuma was following him rather than Sakura, so either way he wouldn't have known. Unless the smoke gave it away..... Yeah, again, can't have him be perfect, no matter how perfect he is to me. Yes, yes it was Asuma. I'm glad you do. It's rare I make things up I really like, but this quote is one of those I love. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. Well, it is quite an irritating habit. I can sympathize greatly with poor Ryu's pain. Really? Yeah - I feel accomplished! Especially since this chapter was so long and you, who doesn't like long chapters, thought it didn't seem as long. I'm really glad you enjoyed this, Niji-chan. And sorry for taking so long to get to replying to this.

Brekky-chan midterm week = dead me = not on much. T_T

I READ THIS YESTERDAY! I didn't review is all! See, my comp switches off, so it got so late it did.
----
DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME WITH

FOURTEEN THOUSAND WORDS WHEN

ITS ELEVEN O CLOCK AT NIGHT

AND I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT

SEVEN THIRTY TOMORROW FOR AT

TEST!?! WAHHHHHHHH! (this is

my fault btw, so don't take

this to heart. i shall laugh

about this. maybe.)

What did Daichi do...

*thinks* Have I told you

about my short term memory

loss? Um. Killed people?

*hopeful grin*

000

OH YEAH i forgot Asuma was

captain of team ten!
Interesting since i already

read the beginning of this

chapter and had been reading

the rest of the story with

the InovsSakura Ryu take on

them thing in mind. XD I'm

sorry if I'm incoherent...
Nice, concise, descriptions

of the restaurant.
AHAHA OMC - Chouji's

introduction KILLED.
"Ino said, living up to

Asuma's nickname by

shouting." He called her

Blondie - how does that

relate to shouting?
Wait, if his name was Shiro,

who the heck is Daichi

Shigamo!?
She threw a rock at a cat. -

_- Wah.

meheartcatsnotlikepeoplewhohu

rtcats. Bad Ino.
Ahhhhhhh my beloved Shikamaru

kicked a catttt.... Tis an

important cat yest. Asuma? I

wonder.
You mixed up the names

several times in this

chapter, calling Chouji

Shikamaru and Konohamaru Ryu.
I know that Shikamaru, Ino,

and Chouji passed the

excercise WithOut Ryu's help

originally - they can't be

this hopeless!
Interesting, Ryu's explosion

at Sasuke.
I found the test interesting,

but like I said, the original

InoShikaCho team passed.

There parents are a team and

friends, so they'd at least

be friends/know each other,

and they shouldn't have been

so hopeless, as I said. Those

are my only complaints.
Wait - brother!? HEY! Might

this guy be more like Sasuke

than he though? That's SO

INTERESTING!

Author's Response: Well, I hope you did well with he exam thing, Saku-chan, though I believe that should be over now. SORRY!!!! I never meant for it to be that long. I do feel a bit bad for making it so long, but, well, I believe it was enjoyable. Kinda sorta. He did kill some people when they fought him, but what he did was betray the village for money. How could you forget that he is the leader of Team Seven? *facepalm* Oh, Saku-chan. Sweet! I nailed the restaurant. But yes - you totally lost me with the rst of that. Haha. I got everything from the Naruto Wikia, if you're talking about the likes, dislikes, etc. No, not that nickname. He uses her other one, loud mouth, later on, when he's describing them. Then the statement you just showed me is about ten or something paragraphs below it. *facepalm* Saku-chan, pleeeeaaase tell me you know who Daichi is now. Please! Because you really need to. And yes, she threw a rock at the at. And Shikamaru kicked it. The only one nice to it was Ryu and Chouji, the two nicer, better tempered ones. Unless, of course, you call Chouji fat....... Well, you should know by now, so....... Ooops...... Hey - give me a break. It's almost 15,000 words, and I think I was hurrying, so...... =P. Well, in the actual exercise, Ryu wouldn't have existed, so Asuma wouldn't have been able to hide at Ryu's house. Plus, they still had time, and Shikamaru would have had time to figure it all out. Yeah, not at all a big fan of Sasuke, my little Ryu. And I already explained my reasoning for that, so I shall not repeat myself. Hm..... I can't remember how they interacted, simply because it's been a while since I wrote this, so I am not sure how to reply to this....... Hehe XD. You'll have to read to see, Saku-chan. And why was this one written so, well...... *gestures to strange way review is all to side*

Wahaha, such a long A/N.

"how was a boy who wouldn't be gening unless he passed his upcoming test find a jounin?" - very confusing/second para.
Did it take him the whole two years to get over his depression? Or was it a limited time?
"staring down at the man he'd grown close to""Asuma stared up at the young boy" - Asuma is sitting? You didn't tell us that.
YOUR FIGHT SCENES - even that tiny one with Asuma - ARE AMAZING.
Like I said before - over usage of words in some place. Like, I know, I'm trying to describe something and I over describe. It's like that.
You don't need to be exact - approximations, as far as time and physical appearance, are alright.
I love the banter and the relationship between Ryu and Naruto, I can completely see it.
I thought the genin tests were done in front of everyone?
spelling "you can't face everything along, Naruto."
"A little after you and Sakura came back, you were around my level" is what Naruto said - that happened two years ago, right? The Shiro incident? Shouldn't it be a thing of the past now? In the manner it's being referred to, it seems as if it just happened six or so months ago, not two years.
The teams haven't been formed yet - why is sakura thinking that Sasuke could save her? And I don't know if Sakura would like the idea of being "saved" exactly. She realized she was relying on Naruto and Sasuke, and she decided to change, so that line of thinking would make her frustated with herself, I'd think.
Your description of Ryu's clothes is too specific.. I have yet to figure out exactly how to write a description, but I've been looking at writers.
I like the chill in Ryu's words when speaking about Sasuke. Very well done.
Ahhh, I see and recognize the clothes you described! Interesting~ Btw, about description, make sure to mention it enough that it burns in the persons brain. XP

Author's Response: Yes, yes it is. Sorry =P. Hmm..... I have problems with that. I tend to write things that make sense to me, but not to others. And did I spell genin that way or did you do that, because I can't tell. Probably me =_=. It's basically saying how can he find a jonin if he still has to pass a test just to become genin, though worded differently. As for the others..... I'd have to go back and read, and I need to get to Tori Kago soon. Eh..... I don't see them as being that great, though I am glad you like them. Over usage of words, however, is something I need to watch out for, as well as over explaining things. Sometimes I can see it as being good, other times, I do do more than needed. Yep - that friendship is one I have fun with. I will play with it sometimes, such as the thing about not telling about the supplier or the paint being him. No - I am 99.9% positive it is in another room. And sorry about the mistakes. But hey - those words are only one letter apart =P ! No, it isn't. It has stuck with Naruto because it just makes him wonder about his own strength and everything. In two years since they started, he remained about Naruto's level, and then in another two years, he had suddenly shot up. By then, yes, they have. This occurs once they have been dismissed to lunch, so after the teams have been announced. As for that part of Sakura, it doesn't really happen until after the whole Forest of Death incident. Do not look off of me, then. I myself am still learning, and I don't want to push you in the wrong direction. Yes, I know T_T. I am still learning! Haha. Oh yes, playing off that jealousy and annoyance for a certain reason is always fun. Description..... I'll try to keep that in mind later on. Thanks, Saku-chan! I hope you continue to enjoy Cursed Saint.

I AM THE READER WHO DOESN'T LIKE LONG CHAPTERS!!!! But it's worth it, I suppose. *rolls eyes good naturedly* Although, I must say, this chapter was not up to par with what I've been reading so far. The fact that you apparently rushed through and had difficulty writing this does show. So I guess that's just something to remember. If you're having a hard time writing a chapter or section of a story, don't just rush through it to get it over with. Take the time, the extra time over and above usual, to make sure that you have something good there. As a professional author someday, what will be expected of you is excellence, no matter what, and sometimes in order to achieve excellence one must work harder. Giving the excuse of, 'this was harder to write than usual' won't cut it. They'll send it back to you and tell you to do it over again, which will actually take more time and energy in the end. Never settle for okay. Always aim higher, aim for your best. I will say that as the chapter went on, it did get better, though.

Other than the technical aspects of the chapter, the awkwards and whatnot, it was good. The concepts and ideas, the actual events, the emotions, I loved them. It was touching. It was a bit sad and distressful, especially in the beginning, but it was also thought provoking. It hit me, and, it was portrayed in a way that makes one feel like they can really understand and connect to these people and what they're going through even though we never ever could possibly really experience it. And that's really cool and really hard to achieve. Not too long of a review. I'm starting to think that with these super duper long chapters of yours it's easier for me to just read it mostly instead of nitpicking at everything, thus the shorter reviews. Or it could be that I know these chapters are super duper old so that it'd be pointless to nitpick at a lot of the stuff. Or it could be a combination of both. *shrugs* O_o

Out,
Masumi TAT

Author's Response: Sorry sorry sorry sorry *bows repeatedly*. Though you are really going to hate Right Before My Eyes. It's only 2000 words off from 15,000 words...... Really? Because I quite liked this chapter, as did others. I am surprised that you saw this one as lesser than the others. Yeah, I know. But..... When I say I have difficulty with the chapters, it tends to be because I just can't get what I see in my mind on the screen, and then it becomes harder to really type because I can imagine things so much better than what I could type. Eh. Professional life is going to be so much fun =P. Though you are right. I shouldn't have done that. I hope you can help me not do it anymore. My best? What if I don't know what my best is? I am so glad you liked it! I was a little afraid it was a disappointment =P. It seems like most people liked that stuff about it. So, well, yeah! I seem to do that more often recently, and I always seem to actually make people like the characters. Even I really like Kohaku after just doing this. It would be quite fun, I think, to write some little story think for him and put it into The Lost Stories. Well, that, or you were just super duper tired like you said in FFW *shrugs*. Anyway, I hope you enjoy what you read from here (which I already know you did =P).

Alright, I shall. ^_^ Yep! I meant the parts where he looks at the ring and remembers stuff. Well, what I meant by dialogue during action scenes is, it's fine during battle when the two guys are facing each other, yeah? Just facing off? And maybe some when they're yelling stuff at each other, like in the anime. But scenes, like the one where Ryu is running away with Sakura after they've escaped from Shiro, Sakura and Ryu are speaking to one another as they run, so the dialogue then doesn't fit, since they're running for their lives and they're all messed up. They'd probably speak as much as possible, but showing the strain in their voices and the way they speak should be good.
Yeah, I can see why he'd hate them. But they're awesome still. I lovelovelove eyes the most! Oh, and smiles, but that's random.
You know, messing characters up - As Kurt Vonnegut so lovely puts (although I did not find this until after labeling myself a character sadist),
"Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of."
— Kurt Vonnegut, "Eight Rules for Writing Fiction")) - this is coming from a fellow character sadist, as she has so aptly named us! XD So it's a good thing, which is amazing. XP
Yay! Check the blog out, i'll have introduced you! XD
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Something I do too is use too many words. I'm trying to fix this with some things I heard, and i've yet to try it out, but here in case it helps you - "go through every sentence and eliminate the unnecessary words. What you can say in one word, do not do in three."
OMC, Ryu doesn't know about Asuma. T_T
Ryu really is amazing; i can see how much he treasures each life, and I can see how you've transfered that through him to the readers. That's so cool, I admire that.
I'm listening to red right now.
Also, the pain - uhmayzeng.
An interesting idea, Konoha having counselors. Can you tell me why you thought so? I was thinking of them too, but I decided they didn't exist. XP
*HUGE GRIN* SOBAAAAA! I see!
WowowowowowowowowowWOW - the shogi thing - AHHHH! SO COOL! Ahh, that is so awesome Brekky-chan! tHE THING WITH THE THING WHERE HE DOES THE -OOPS caps lock - the thing that an old guy did in war!
I love the ending - that was cool. *nods*

Author's Response: Okay...... Looking at the next review, I'm starting to wonder if I should have said okay =P. Hm..... Yeah, I can see what you mean, Saku-chan. Well.... He does have a creepy smile this chapter. So I hope you enjoyed that =P. Ahh, yes, I am most definitely a character sadist. You haven't seen the worst I have done to him. Just you wait =P. I tend to either overuse or forget words. It totally stinks, simply because of some reason those are the ones I miss the most. As for that method..... Well, it would probably work if I looked over what I wrote, but, well, I kinda skip that part. Hehe *scratches back of head*. I know! It's so sad T_T. I feel bad for him, and yet I am eager for that scene.... Shows just how much of a character sadist I am. Again, I think Ryu is the most like me, and yet his own person. I feel most bonded to him because of this. It's so confusing how he can be like me, and yet not. Oh well. Still fun to write about. RED IS AWESOME! Sorry - I had to get that out of my system. I seem to be great at writing pain. I don't know if that is a good thing, though. It does help a lot, though, especially with how many pain filled scenes I write. Yes, I do believe they would both have and need counselors. They go through many traumatic things - they would lose many to the craziness if they didn't have someone to help. Yep. That would be soba. Haha. There is a reason for that Shogi thing, though I cannot tell you why. You will just have to wait ;). Hehe. I'm glad you liked the ending. Wow - thinking back to this stuff, I really want to read it again. To be honest, I think that this has become my favorite story of mine (please forgive me, Sasaui!).

Gosh I had to read this in parts because I had no time. And I feel like I'm so late with this review. Sorry~

Well okay, first the bad things. Get those out of the way...

I notice that you use 'male' and 'female' a lot. It just seemed to get really repetitive. You can still use 'boy', 'girl', 'man', etc.

Something else I noticed was that you tend to use 'eyes' a lot. Like when you can be using 'expression' or 'look', you just seem to be overdoing it with the eyes.

Also, I think you still drag out simple scenes when it isn't necessary. Like when Ryu woke up, I kinda got bored with him wandering through the house. It felt longer than necessary. Buildup is good but too much buildup is excessive and can lose the reader's attention.

Also there were a lot of grammar errors, like I always point out in every chapter. Just a slow run through of the chapter should help.

Now onto the good stuff:

I really liked the scenery. It was really beautiful and the way you described the village was really good. I honestly did get distracted a bit during the time you were talking about it but that could be a combination of describing it excessively (as I said above) and me just not paying attention.

I also liked how you went into depth on Yuunai and her sister. You did well with showing the emotions and telling the story. It came out really well.

This was an interesting chapter. It was more of an explaining chapter but I still liked most of it. It was nice to see this updated. Good job on this. I'm looking forward to more, keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Don't worry. It took me even longer to read ATBTD, remember? Gah. I hate how often the bad is longer than the good lately. Sheesh, what is up with me. Oh well, guess that just means I get better, huh? Though I thought having a beta would help me out there..... Wow, that makes me curious how bad it would have been without the beta...... Yeah, I know I can. I find it strange that I wouldn't use those seeing as I used to think I used too much boy, girl, man, etc, so I guess in trying to avoid it, I began doing it too often. All the other mistakes, I am also surprised at, seeing as Niji-chan tended to point out most of my repeats, as well as my mistakes. Then again, she did say she kept on getting lost in the story, so that may explain the other mistakes, seeing as I know she has good grammar. Oh, wait, did you even know I had a beta? I think the scenery was the part I most looked forward to. I was really excited for it because I've imagined the village numerous times. I wonder if anyone knows what inspired it...... I was thinking of asking, but I guess I forgot XD. And, well, there's a lot to the village to describe. I was wanting to make sure it was like actually seeing it. I know the joke Nkbz said about drawing you a picture, and I think I actually was trying to do that with words, simply because I was trying to get the beauty of this village out, because I really do love it. Phew. I was afraid that people wouldn't like that or think it was just a total info dump, seeing as I felt like there should be more going on there. Looks like I did it well, though XD. Yep, just what I thought - an explanation chapter. I'm also looking for more, seeing as the fun starts next. Wow, I feel so wrong saying that, seeing as the fun is very cruel to my ocs XD.

I reread the ending to understand where I left off, and I have to tell you how interesting it was. XD I know this is old, which tells me even more about how much you must've improved by now.

Author's Response: I don't know. I'll leave that up to you.

huh what an eventful chapter. I'm glad Ryu made a nice recovery though the dream still intrigues me.

Man I feel bad for the family. I didn't expect that their brother would've went out and betrayed them like that.

I hope Yuumai doesn't mess with Ryu's ring though because the thing I imagined happening is pretty awful.

What else what else...Oh yeah! So of course Daichi is there haha. I hope he doesn't try to pull anything but knowing most situations he will.

I probably missed some things...

Very nice description throughout the whole thing. It was all well thought out and I could imagine the village very vividly within my head. Awesome chapter Itoko I can't wait for the next one.

Author's Response: Are you being sarcastic or serious, because I can't tell, seeing as I found it the opposite. Well, duh. That was the point of the dreams. They're going to catch your attention. Yeah, I liked the thought. Actually, it was pretty random when Yuumai mentioned her having something to do with betrayal in her past, and I loved it enough to keep it. Plus, it allowed me to do all this funness. Well, you're right there, Itoko-san. Nothing good could happen from it. You've already seen the last time he took it off. Nothing good. Me? Have something good happen? When a bad guy is there? Are we still talking about me? Of course something is going to go wrong, and of course he's going to try and pull something. I'm glad about the description, seeing as that was what it was mostly focused on this chapter. Wow, it was that vivid. I tried my best, but I didn't expect to actually succeed. Yeah! I did it right XD.