TONFA
The Original Naruto Fanfic Archive

Main Categories

Het Romance [1096]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around different sex couples.
Alternate Universe & Crossovers [648]
Where cast of the Naruto Universe are inserted into an alternate universe.
Essays & Tutorials [16]
An area to submit intelligent essays debating topics about the Naruto Universe and writing tutorial submissions.
 
General Fiction [1743]
Any Naruto fanfiction focused without romantic orientation, on a canon character in the current Naruto Universe.
OC-centric [869]
Any Naruto fanfic that has the major inclusion of a fan-made character.
Non-Naruto Fiction [292]
Self-evident
 
Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance [1574]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around male same sex couples.
MadFic [201]
Any fic with no real plot and humor based. Doesn't require correct spelling, paragraphing or punctuation but it's a very good idea.
 
Shojo-ai/Yuri Romance [106]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around female same sex couples.
Fan Ninja Bingo Book [124]
An area to store fanfic information, such as bios, maps, political histories. No stories.
Juvi-Fics [2]
Because no fic is deleted, if a fic doesn't abide by the rules of the category or author doesn't respond to mods, it belongs here.
 
 

Site Info

Members: 11717
Series: 261
Stories: 5905
Chapters: 25596
Word count: 47844377
Authors: 2167
Reviews: 41284
Reviewers: 1757
Newest Member: T3ZSA
Challenges: 255
Challengers: 193
 



Name: Karnia (Anonymous) · Date: 21/01/13 - 01:44 pm · For: Girls Night
I actually liked this chapter because I felt you nailed Sakura's character on the head, which a lot of people seem to fail at for some reason. I also like how Rayne is nice to Sakura, even though the girl can be super annoying. It kind of bugs me when an OC hates Sakura or Ino just because they're in love with Sasuke. I went for a similar approach that you did myself and I prefer to read it that way too. Good job on this, and that line about not letting a dick get between them made me crack up. I like Rayne's bluntness.

Author's Response: (>*_*)> That's my lovely interwebs hug to you. It burns me when people's characters hate Sakura and Ino as well. I'm happy to hear you enjoyed this chapter; it's one of my personal favorites. Thank you (: Sometimes blunt humor is the funniest!


Name: Karnia (Anonymous) · Date: 20/01/13 - 10:08 pm · For: First Steps Into Konoha - Not Exactly Steps
I liked this chapter! I liked Rayne in it and her interactions with the characters. I am greatful that her romance with Sasuke has seemed to skid to a stop, because it was happening very fast. I myself know how to do that particular mistake and it will only make you want to claw out your eyes later. XD

Thanks for responding to all my reviews so positively! A lot of the time I don't review or read fan fiction because people cannot take my critism...I can't really help it though.

I understand what you said with Rayne's name, I'd want to die if I had to change Hikari's. (It's funny because when I was creating her character concept way long ago, Hikari wasn't a totally popular fan-character name, but now I am seeing it everywhere and wish I had something a tad more original.)

Anyways, I look forwards to see how she lives with Naruto!

Author's Response: Thank you for responding to my responses positively! (: I always look forward to having a good relationship with fellow authors, especially those who give a thorough critique. I'm not always right. I don't write the perfect scene the first time. I'm used to getting harsh critiques in art class and I've learned to take it all non-personally, so I appreciate feedback and learn from it.

A characters name is what makes them who they are. As long as you're confident in who they are and the name you've chosen to give them, you can defend it until you die. It may seem silly, but I'd defend my character no matter what. Rayne's part of me now, just like Hikari's part of you. God, anime just infects us all :P

I look forward to more feedback, and I'm already certain what you're going to point out to me in the story (x ~Xoxo


Name: Karnia (Anonymous) · Date: 20/01/13 - 10:05 am · For: Two of A Kind
Romance is happening wayyyy too fast. It kind of tears you right out enjoying this, unfortunately. Also, Sasuke is acting extremely OOC. In all honesty, he probably just would have pushed her out of the tree. However, I will like the story, so I shall go on.

Author's Response: LOL NO WORRIES, I TOTALLY FACE PALMED WHEN I REREAD THIS CHAPTER. BAHAHAH. I really have no idea where I was supposed to be going with this, so I can assure you, this chapter is pretty much THE ONE I know I need to revise. Thanks for continuing anyway! (: Hah


Name: Karnia (Anonymous) · Date: 20/01/13 - 09:53 am · For: A Promise
Wow! What improvement between the first chapter and this! I am really impressed. You fixed your grammar right up and it really made me read through the story at ease and enjoy it. Well done. :)

I have a question, and a bit of something to point out. I find it highly unlikely that the Raikage would send away his Jinchuriki because the Akatsuki were after her, at least to Konoha that is. Konoha is another huge power in the Shinobi villages, not to mention that Kumogakure and Konohagakure have not always got along...they have had a lot of tension in the past and I can't see him sending her there. It doesn't quite add up unless you're hiding something from us.

But beyond that, I enjoyed this chapter and look forwards to more.

Author's Response: Yeaaaaah... Considering I wrote this back in 2010 and the Shippuden chapters revealing the tension between Kumogakure and Konoha weren't out... I was S.O.L.. If she weren't transferred, we wouldn't have a story. There's my ignorant answer until I think of another (;


Name: Karnia (Anonymous) · Date: 20/01/13 - 09:27 am · For: A New Beginning
So I liked this chapter, but I feel like Rayne is a tad Mary-Sue...not that I am to talk if someone went back to read Hebi No Ko and my Hikari. -_-. I find her quite comical though, I like her interactions with the characters. However, there were a lot of grammatical mistakes through this chapter that were slightly...distracting. They kind of pulled me away from the reading and made me really have to focus on the text.
As a general rule, I am a VERY picky reader...it takes a lot to get me into stories, but I feel this one has potential. The one thing I'd advise against in the future is naming a character 'Rayne', which came across as sounding like 'Rain', when the names in Naruto are pretty much all Japanese. That's more of a pet peeve for me, but I know other readers who it gives a bad impression too.
Another thing I advise against is injecting faces like this '0.o' into a story. It kind of limits the reader's ability to use their imagination. If you just say that Sasuke's eye was twitching, instead of putting the face there, I would have liked that better.
But hey, what do I know? We're all learning here. I like the story so far and will continue to read...but I warn you, I am fairly critical, so I will question things...a lot.

Author's Response: Well hello there. I would not have expected seeing you around these parts c:

I know you're picky. I can tell how picky you are through your writing, because you make sure everything lines up with the original plot and characters. I wrote this chapter, along with most of the beginning chapters, in 2010. I will most likely agree with you on some of your criticism. Rayne sounds like a Mary Sue? Yeah, she kind of does. There are some scenes and character interactions that I'd like to revise due to this fact. Rayne does sound like rain; that's how I pronounce it. Personally, I like her name too much to care if it's Japanese or not.

I look forward to your continued criticism. Thanks for taking the time to read my story in the first place (:


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 03/12/12 - 03:03 pm · For: -//Epilogue//-
As I was reading this, I thought back to maybe two or three years ago, sitting on my camper seat, happy to have Internet at the camp site. I remember seeing my mom asleep as I woke early to check Tonfa and seeing this updated like a few times before. I remember thinking: What the heck, why not? Then I read it.

And no matter what I may have not loved reading, I do not regret it for a second. I have been happy and angry, have laughed and cried, have deduced what may happen next and be blown away in surprise, felt love and felt hatred, and so so much more. I have fallen in love with a great oc and made a new friend. How could I not read on after all that, Tink-chan. No matter how uneasiness some parts made me, all the other parts I loved.

Thank you for the shout-out, Tink-chan. This story deserved everything I said about it and more. How To Adapt and Overcome has definitely earned to right to be the first YOUR STORY. I just wish that reward could mean more, because this story is just so, so amazing.

I'm glad this is not a goodbye to Rayne's story at least, and look forward to reading the sequel. Sadly I have tortured myself and told myself I cannot read anything new until I am caught up in other fanfictions.

So, until them, amazing story, Tink-chan.

Author's Response: You're so wonderful ;___; I really wish I could come hug you. For now, this will suffice.
Me -> (>;u;Y^^<) <- You.

You have always made me feel really good about what I was writing, and I cannot thank you for helping me press on with my story. If it wasn't for a devoted reader like you, continuing to read my story even after I stopped updating for a year, I wouldn't have decided to continue on. For a while, I had no idea if anyone else was reading HTAO. But honestly, I kept updating for you and I, and whoever else might have been reading. Soon enough, Silverwolf and others came along, and it was successful, but as I said, you were with me all the way.

This may sound incredibly cheesy, but years from now, even when I'm 70.. when I think back to the time I wrote my first fan fiction story on this website, I'm always going to remember you. Always. Writing is a huge part of who I am now, and I have you to thank for being part of it.

Take your time with reading, by all means. I'm not the only author out there (: I look forward to hearing from you again. Xoxoxoxoxoxo X 9,001 (ITS OVER 9,000!) ~ Shann(:


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 03/12/12 - 02:49 pm · For: Withered Past, Blurry Future
I guess I didn't cry because I was expecting but..... But......

She's dead? She can't be...... I mean, I even accidentally saw the picture for the sequel, so I am 90% sure she'll have something to do with it. But.... What? No, she can't be dead. She's too amazing and awesome and full of life. She CANNOT be dead.

But, well..... I have to admit, I found the entire thing absolutely beautiful and quite like something I would do (accept I couldn't bring myself to kill a character. At least until the end of their story. Or set it up so it seemed that way. Anyway, adding in all those raw feelings. Her thoughts in response to what Sasuke was saying, her own truths to him that I have wanted to scream at him, her trying to release Rokobi......

But what I loved the most was the flash backs of their time together mixed with her thoughts. That is one of the things that really drove into my heart. It just seemed so beautiful. So amazing, so heart wrenching........

And then Sasuke. Oh my gosh, Sasuke. I was on the verge of absolutely hating him. But to see him so heart broken as well. All I could think was - did she die saving him? Or will he fall again? I really do not know without reading the sequel.

I loved this chapter. It was my favorite, no matter how much it hurt me. Even with the picture warning and seeing the sequel, I hurt reading this chapter. I hurt greatly. I just loved Rayne so much......

P.S I know it's wrong for me to be the one talking about the drunk thing after that one chapter. I think it's just because, although I hate the thought of getting drunk, Drunken style really interests me. Drunken Master is an amazing movie XD.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed the end, I really am (: I hope it lived up to your expectations of my writing. Evoking your emotion for all the characters was definitely what I wanted, and I'm happy it worked. Especially with Sasuke, because even though he never told her how he felt, his heart still broke. I cried myself...not just once...but a couple of times.. xD Thank you for leaving such a sweet review. I'm happy I did my job as an author. Xoxo~


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 03/12/12 - 02:08 pm · For: To Have Purpose
Only two complaints, really. One is I saw what seemed like more mistakes that would momentarily leave me confused from time to time. The other may just be me, but I didn't think Lee was acting, well, drunk enough. He was all silly and weird during that fight. In this he almost seemed like his normal self. You mentioned his speed increase, but other than the occasional speech, there wasn't too much difference between his normal (Lee-standard normal, that is) self.

Okay, complaints aside, to the good stuff.

This was a really interesting chapter. I love seeing the fire that is burning in Rayne. This showed both when she was trying to get Sasuke out and when she snapped at Kimmimaro about purpose and stuff.

Speaking of, I really liked that rivalry between them. It was interesting, and it just molded Rayne into the Orochimaru thing even more, which in the way you do it is a good thing. You make it all nice and clean without any holes. The fight was also just awesome, and I love Lee's speech. First thing he says is how Kimmimaro cannot hurt an angel. Haha hehe.

Well, only one more chapter and then acknowledgements. Time to see about that picture.

Author's Response: I have one thing to say... you telling me that someone isn't drunk enough made me LOL x) It was weird in the episodes.. he'd act seriousseriousserious...then be drunk. I was trying to get to Rayne and Kimmimaro bickering and fighting themselves. So, that surely was a flaw. ::I was itching to write the last chapter::

YES!!! Being told that I've molded her into Orochimaru and the past without any holes is a huge compliment for me. I've spent a lot of time doing my best to make it flawless, and I'm so happy to hear you approve (:

Thank you! Can't wait to hear your remarks on the next chapter >___> Xoxo~


Name: Feliciano Vargas :D (Anonymous) · Date: 02/12/12 - 02:16 pm · For: Character Information - Rayne Sayomi
O.O o my u guna make da sequal. WOO! well any way asta la pasta!

Author's Response: Yes! It will be posted shortly c:


Name: Zakuro Vargas (Anonymous) · Date: 01/12/12 - 03:29 pm · For: Character Information - Rayne Sayomi
-3- make da sequel

Author's Response: I know I know I knowww. I'm going to post it tomorrow after workkk. I'm sorryyy ;;;;_____;;;; Check back around 6pm EST tomorrow


Name: /;ikdcdfnm jus cuz i can. hnufcrne (Anonymous) · Date: 30/11/12 - 06:18 pm · For: First Steps Into Konoha - Not Exactly Steps
the hokage is not that creeppyyy

Author's Response: .. e_____________e pokerface.


Name: Cwille (Signed) · Date: 14/11/12 - 07:18 pm · For: -//Epilogue//-
I'mna be totaly honest. yes, I did cry at the ending.

Author's Response: I'm glad to hear it (:


Name: ShadowXNight13 (Signed) · Date: 13/11/12 - 09:53 pm · For: -//Epilogue//-
yay! i feel loved! lolz

a sequel?!? must watch out for it then. and yep! i'm random. hmmm am i related to our favorite knuckleheaded ninja?

plese please!! mke rayne be alive. lolz she's a weasel now. i can se that happening.o.o i think i hd too little sleep and too much rockstar. anyways. bye bye rayne! ur my favorite OC!!

Author's Response: I'm not revealing anything! (; She is? That's so nice to hear, thank you! I'll talk to you soon!! Xoxo~


Name: ShadowXNight13 (Signed) · Date: 13/11/12 - 08:40 pm · For: -//Epilogue//-
*starts to cry* rayne!!!! no!!!!!!!!!!


Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 13/11/12 - 03:10 pm · For: -//Epilogue//-
meh this is what hapens when I post a review before I'm finished reading

thanks for the mension. I've enjoyed this story the whole way, wish I could have been here when it started. did you know that CrazyKittyLover is redoing a seeing beauty? I GOT FIRST REVIEW! maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll get first review on your next story!

Author's Response: Really? I had no idea :o ..Thank you for sticking all the way through my story, and leaving reviews on the way. Keep an eye out for it; it's coming soon! Xoxo~


Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 13/11/12 - 03:03 pm · For: -//Epilogue//-
I look forward to the next adventure!


Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 13/11/12 - 03:00 pm · For: Withered Past, Blurry Future
amazing! I'm actualy crying a litle

props for the picture!

Author's Response: Whooo! I've induced human emotion through writing! Thank you! It was one of my favorite pictures to draw (:


Name: purpledinosaur (Signed) · Date: 13/11/12 - 02:08 pm · For: -//Epilogue//-
awwwwwwwwwwww! You killed her off? Sasuke's a real bastard for doing that! Naruto is gonna be heartbroken, and so is Sakura! This story was really good and I can't wait till the sequel! What will happen in it? Will Rayne miraculously become alive again???? I MUST KNOW! This is a huge cliff hanger in my oppinion, and I wish to know if you draw all your pictures yourself cuz they're really good!

Author's Response: It is a HUGE cliff hanger!! (: I'm glad you liked it; thank you for reading all the way through and reviewing on your way! Yes, I do draw all of my pictures. I spend just as much time on those as I do on writing xD bahah, and I've drawn plenty more for sequel! Talk to you soon! Xoxo~


Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 12/11/12 - 11:14 pm · For: -//Epilogue//-
Seriously... my entire last review was of calling you evil, and then you make such a nice shoutout like that... Stop being evil, making me look bad now! T_T

In all seriousness though, I'm really proud of you for finishing this story (albeit catching me off guard with that last chapter -_-). This was definitely a great read and I'm thankful to have followed it all the way through from beginning to end. This story is definitely one of my personal favorites and is definitely in a much a higher league than a lot of fics out there in the world, and you deserve all the support your readers and reviewers have ever shown you. It's sad to see such a great story finally end, but I'll be looking forward to more from you in your sequel and maybe even other future works.

Just know that because you've written such a great story, Imma be expecting a lot more outta you for this upcoming sequel. No pressure or anything ;)

Good luck with your writing of the sequel. I can't wait to see what you have in store for all of us.

Author's Response: Thank you for giving me the compliment of Rayne being one of your favorite OC's. I'm so glad to hear she's loved like that (: And such a high compliment of my story being high rank; you took the words right out of me when I read that. I'm glad the end struck you strongly, and I assure you that you will be blown away with the sequel. It will be written stronger than this, and there is a lot in store for you as a reader (; I'm totally excited, so it's likely I'll release it in two weeks as I said, or even earlier, knowing me haha. I look forward to reading your review on the first chapter of the next story, because I'm sure it will be a mind screwer! Talk to you soon!! Xoxo~


Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 12/11/12 - 11:03 pm · For: Withered Past, Blurry Future
.....You're evil, did you know that? What you just did to me, making me cry like that with an ending chapter like this, you're really really mean. I can't even express how heartbroken I am. Gosh, just... I just loved this entire chapter. Every part of it. Every word, every argument, every thought, everything they did, and then you went and KILLED ONE OF THE BEST OCS I'VE EVER READ ABOUT!

Yeah, you're evil...

I need to get a look at the epilogue you posted before I continue preaching of how evil you are.

Author's Response: I know, I know, I'm so sorry ): Don't worry, I cried too


Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 12/11/12 - 07:36 pm · For: -//Epilogue//-
Aw thank you so much for the personal note :)

Keep on writing girl I'll definitely be along for the read

Author's Response: Great!! I have a lot, and I mean A LOT, planned for the sequel, so stick around!!


Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 12/11/12 - 07:25 pm · For: Withered Past, Blurry Future
Wow...Simply beautiful. I can't even form words at this point.

But the most important thing...Rayne died...I-I never expected that. She's actually dead. After learning to love her for 45 chapters straight and growing close to her as a character, just losing her like that is devastating...

A purely amazing story, you should be extremely proud of yourself for crafting this masterpiece. Good job Tink and I wish you luck on whatever else you put out next.

Author's Response: I'm so glad it came as a surprise! Well, not glad she's dead...but...you know.. (: Thank you so much!!


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 06/11/12 - 03:34 pm · For: Consumed! Will of Fire Ignites!
First of all, I have a headache and am exhausted from not being able to sleep more than 2 1/2 hours last night, and then some this morning, so this may not be the best and I may be a bit scattered. I don't know. We shall see, won't we?

It was so sad seeing Rayne's heartbroken state at the very beginning. She truly was taken down by this. Nobody deserves that. Sasuke needs to stop hurting people! Especially Rayne, who has already been hurt so much T_T. I'm glad that she is later helped.

Gah - I am torn between my favorite part. I can't decide if I like the scene with Rokubi and Rayne best or the very last scene, especially with that paragraph. Did that really happen? This is the only part of this arc I never saw (Chouji vs Jiroubou), and I love this arc, so I should probably watch it sometime...... U^_^. But I did greatly enjoy both, and both showed Rayne crawling out of the shroud of pain Sasuke put around her. They're both just so great..... I cannot decide which I like best. One is the beginning of the removal and the other seems to be where she gets her complete resolve. Drat. So, so hard.

There was some nice emotion from here. It isn't as painfully raw as the last, probably because she has grown numb, but the emotion was still incredibly strong and really made us feel for Rayne. I hope she can knock some sense into Sasuke. I just can't help but wonder, though, if she'll end up wanting to save him enough to go to Orochimaru O_o. I doubt it, but twists are always fun.

Anyway, one last thing before I end this review:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TINK-CHAN!!!!!

I hope it has been a very happy one ^_^.

Author's Response: Yes, it did happen c: Chouji was staggering through the woods to catch up with the others, and he found a tree that had markings on them. What I wrote, aside from Rayne's comment on the tree, was straight from the anime. It was so touching, and I still cry whenever I watch it xD - Rayne's mentality has been shattered. At this point, she's almost clueless as to what she'll do, and is asking herself a lot of questions. Thank you so much for the birthday wish!! It made me smile to see someone on here wish me a happy birthday!! (: It was a very good day, and you wishing me a nice one made it even better~ Xoxo


Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 04/11/12 - 02:30 pm · For: Drift
I still think "What in the world" when I remember Naruto and Rayne have kissed a couple times, and yet she has not kissed Sasuke once. Oh, Rayne *sigh*. This cannot happen! Naruto must end up with Hinata or, at least, Sakura! Haha =P. NaruHina fan here, sorry.

To tell the truth, I don't think the Sakura vs Rayne fight was realistic at all. Sakura would have been more worried about them being okay for one. She almost risked her life by running out in front of them. Plus, she never even fought Ino to begin with. Instead she just hurt. I'm sorry, I liked it, but I can't see it ever actually happy (sorry, trying my best to be honest even if I feel bad =/). I found it interesting, whether realistic or not, and was sad to see their friendship had such a break into it. Maybe they'll become friends again like Ino and Sakura.

It's always interesting to see how Rayne acts with the Sound ninja since she knows them. And I found it interesting they saw her. It makes everything more interesting.

Sasuke..... Sasuke gave her up. Just like that, he gave her up for revenge. I am shocked, though I guess I should have seen it coming. I was just hoping that she would somehow pull it through.... Dang it, Sasuke! You word-I-can't-say!

This chapter was very powerful emotion wise. I was very close to crying by the end of this chapter, and that's saying something because it's hard to get me to tear up reading stuff unless I'm crying because they are (a habit I have gained from putting myself in their mind). This time it was just because of my love of Rayne and seeing her in such pain. The emotion was great, even out of the parts at the end.

This was a spectacular chapter, Tink-chan, and I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: To be honest, I threw their fight in with haste. I wanted to make it clear that they were breaking apart and losing their friendship :D I don't really mind that you didn't find it realistic, because, in the grand scheme of things, it really wasn't well written. I rushed it. I'm glad to hear you love Rayne so much (>^^)> If THIS chapter almost made you cry...oh, just you wait.. >_____>


Name: Cwille (Signed) · Date: 24/10/12 - 01:34 pm · For: To Have Purpose
looking forward to the epic battle that is to come

Author's Response: I'm glad you are; so am I! :D


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