No flames here *beams* Everyone has to start somewhere so lets swe what we can do to get the very best out of your fanfic.

Number one would be paragraphing. To be honest, I'm really having trouble reading your fic and I think potential readers might turn away. Don't worry, it's easily fixed. Just think of your story in terms of topics. Your AN's for example should be seperated entirely from the rest of your fic. Here are some other places I would start a new paragraph and just to make it extra neat, make it a double paragraph break.

For example, I would start not only a new line, but a double new line at these intervals:

--First a meeting
--He wasn’t anything like his mentor
--Lying in her bed feeling sleep
--I’m sorry Lady Artemis has retired for the night you’ll have to come back tomorrow. The guard outside her door announced loudly.
--You don’t understand this man needs a healer now.

And so on. For every new topic, start a new line. Ditto with dialogue. Everytime a new person speaks, try and start a new line. Paragraphing, spelling and punctuation are all really important to a story, they're like the road rules and if you don't have them right, its utter chaos in the readers mind. If they can't understand it properly they might leave before giving it a chance. Things like quotation marks are *super* important. If you could reload your first chapter with these things fixed up, paying attention to what I call the Golden Triad (Spelling, Paragraphing and Punctuation) I'm positive you could get more readers.

Other things to consider would be your OC's name. Artemis. See, that's greek, whilst every other character regardless of what country or hidden village they're from are Japanese. Perhaps if you look up a name site like http://www.20000-names.com/female_japanese_names.htm you could find one that fits your character perfectly. For example, Artemis is the Greek goddess of the moon and the hunt, while Mizuki means 'Beautiful Moon', I also think Tatsue 'dragon-lady' could eb a fun one, or Tenshin 'scholar of heavenly ways' could also be suitable. Readers love an OC that blends effortlessly with the canon of Naruto, one that follows the general rules of the series, one that has strengths, weaknesses and quirks like the other characters. While I'm a bit disbelieving that such a young woman could be a Kage of a hidden village, I do like how Kabuto got the best of her. I'd love to see some more weaknesses and faults and flaws in Artemis so she'll feel like a real person, nobodies perfect. I suggest looking up the term Mary-Sue somewhere so you can learn some things to avoid in your character. Mary-Sue's are often a list of cliches in that fandom, things done so much the reader is bored of them.

Well, its a good start for a first time! I hope your proud. Keep working on the Golden Triad and if you do consider to take my advice into consideration, PM me and I'll draw you a banner for your fic. That'll draw a few more readers in! Persistence and exprience (such as reading lots of other fanfictions) is the only way to becoming a better writer, and reviewing them will help win friends that might review in return.Cheers and goodluck, keep trying!