Reviews For Hidden Past
Name: Fire_and_Ice (Signed) · Date: 31/03/13 - 06:13 am · For: Chapter Twenty-Three: Receiving Wisdom
I really liked this chapter :) good writing, good progression~ thank you for entertaining me with your unique and interesting story :) I'm not sure about 'tearing apart' the writing, but I did take a writing class and could edit, give advice and suggestions, etc, if you wanted me to~ if I really got into it I'm sure I could work towards being brutal. So I guess if that's sounds good to you then you can count me as a candidate for Beta reader :D thanks again for the chapter! I will impatiently await the next! :p
Author's Response: Oh my godhaohosfomgofmdogma yES PLEASE that would be so great * u* If you wanna discuss this then you can just send an email to me at youridiotwriter@gmail.com [: The story's getting to the part where I'd really like some input on how I'd approach certain themes and whatnot so I'd really like it if I could get a beta reade ralskjls you're just a godsend right now xD Thanks for reading and offering to betaread ; u;
Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 29/03/13 - 02:34 pm · For: Chapter Twenty-Two: Victory For a Loss
I agree. she won darn it!
okay, but sasuke better beat hell out of him. yeah, looking forward to the next chapter
oh I see, her secrets out now~
Author's Response: She won in the sense that she beat him up, but don't forget that she also got beat up just as much as he did ;D Hmhmhm, you shall see, you shall see = u=
Name: Fire_and_Ice (Signed) · Date: 17/03/13 - 04:03 pm · For: Chapter Twenty-One: I Can Win
Gosh I really liked that! Usually I'm one to skip through battles, only seeing the important stuff, and the dialogue stuff, yknow? But I read all of that, and don't regret it. That was intense, I like the way you have it :)
Author's Response: Aah, thank you so much ; A; I'm always so worried about keeping battles interesting ^^;;
Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 16/03/13 - 05:13 pm · For: Chapter Twenty-One: I Can Win
Nice!
she better have one. if she turns out to have lost this match, I can and wil make a sad face at you. :P I don't want this to be no draw!
Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 10/03/13 - 06:07 pm · For: Chapter Twenty: A New Trick or Two
it ain't a problem realy, this is a fanfic and so it's nocanonicle from scratch :P I just mension when I see something like that. I'm not bothered, really I'm not :P
Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 10/03/13 - 04:27 pm · For: Chapter Twenty: A New Trick or Two
I'm prety sure, not certain, but prety sure that Kakashi didn't learn the lightning wolf thingy till after the fight with Hidan and Kakuzu, as the first time he's seen using it is in the battle with Pein, and he uses it consistantly afterward.
Author's Response: Ah, that's true, that's true. I like to think it wasn't that he didn't know it, but rather he never used it or Kishimoto just never thought of that jutsu until that fight came around? xD 'Cause Kakashi's known for having copied over 1000 jutsus, right? /excuses excuses Hope it's not too big of a deal ; A;
Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 10/03/13 - 11:42 am · For: Chapter Twenty: A New Trick or Two
O_o could have sworn he didn't learn that technique till after Hidan and Kakuzu
nice, I look forward to the next fight where Raiku flattens everyone! oo! since she's Kakashi's student, she should totaly show up late like sasuke did, that makes it more dramatic!
Author's Response: Learned what till after Hidan and Kakuzu? :/ Oho, who knows, who knows. We'll see how she does soon enough ;D
Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 26/01/13 - 05:02 am · For: Chapter Eighteen: Preparations
hmm... jumping straight to the grudge match?
I know you prob have the chunin exams out, so I won't through in my 2 cents.
heh raiton is terribly distructive? I hadn't noticed XD maybe sasuke terring up his suroundings whenever he uses chidori should have given me a hint lolol!
Oni
Author's Response: Going through all the other matches would be redundant and incredibly time-consuming so yeah, it's time to prepare for the final round. xD Riku's gonna have some fun destroying Mother Nature. Well, probably. :']
Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 05/01/13 - 04:00 pm · For: Chapter Seventeen: Talk to the Fist
I apologize for being anal, but mirajes are not illusions. they are an area of heated are, which creates a lense in the air, allowing you to see much farther.
noooooooooo raiku!
yeaaaaaaa lightning!
nice. you had me worried there for a second. looking forward to the next match (please tell me it's something like ino or sakura vs tenten or someone like that XD)
Author's Response: I was sorta going off this definition of mirage: "Something that appears real or possible but is not." So eh, details. xDOh, I wasn't really going to get into the other battles. Frankly, it'd take way too long. :|
Name: nikki (Anonymous) · Date: 04/01/13 - 02:02 pm · For: Chapter Sixteen: Too Many Voices
please update soon
i want to see what happens next
Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 30/12/12 - 06:58 pm · For: Chapter Sixteen: Too Many Voices
P.S. did you get my email?
Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 30/12/12 - 06:09 pm · For: Chapter Sixteen: Too Many Voices
was there suposed to be something in the chapter notes?
wasn't it Hinata's team that saw gaara kill those rain shinobi? and just naruto and shikamaru who saw him kill the grass ninja?
jinchuuriki form! YEAHHH!!!!!
oo just in time
I feel just a litle sorry for kiba, he's gonna get smashed!
good chapter!
Oni
Author's Response: No, I just put a few breaks in there so the chapter starts below the links and whatnot, at least for the theme I'm using. Ah, dammit. Was it? It was. I'll go fix that, thanks for telling me. I got mixed up there. OTZ. I dunno man, maybe she just went super saiyan :/ xD And no, I didn't get your email. Maybe it won't send properly from the website. Well, my address is youridiotwriter@gmail.com in case you feel like resending it. Once again, thanks for the lovely comments :D
Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 27/12/12 - 03:03 pm · For: Chapter Fifteen: You're Better Than Them
your idea is very original. I merely meant that it was like that. the genjutsu part is wholy original. I just read your bio, and noticed we play the same instruments.
Author's Response: I'm just kidding around; I've had other people point out some similarities too, so eh. xD Awesome, how long have you been playing them for? You can shoot me e-mails, btw. You can send those through my profile, right?
Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 27/12/12 - 12:42 pm · For: Chapter Fifteen: You're Better Than Them
it's a good story so far, I like this. the kekei genkai that you made reminds me a bit of Izanagi, but lower cost and lower effect. interesting, parts of this remend me of the kakashi mask episode! in short, your doing a great job!
Oni
Author's Response: Aw, and here I am, bustin' my chops to be as original as possible. xD Many thanks for your kind words and review ^^
Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 27/12/12 - 08:08 am · For: Chapter Eight: Speculations
again, props for the picture
Name: Oni Nexus (Signed) · Date: 27/12/12 - 07:34 am · For: Chapter Six: New Team, New Mission
props for the picture
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 24/11/12 - 10:56 pm · For: Chapter Twelve: The Written Test
Ooh man even reading about that test hurt my brain lol. It was interesting and well thought out :D I liked it all. Sorry I've been off the grid for a while but I'm back.
So I read your bio and see that you like rpg's? If you have an xbox 360 I would suggest these rpg's
-Darksiders
-Darksiders 2
-Dante's Inferno
-Dishonored
-Azura's Wrath
-The elder scrolls series
:)
Author's Response: Ohey, welcome back, and thanks C: Don't think about it too much; you'll probably find a flaw. xD Ah, curses. One of the few consoles I don't own, but if I ever get the chance to, I'll definitely give some of them a go. ^^
Name: Makkenji (Anonymous) · Date: 29/10/12 - 06:59 pm · For: Prologue
That was a good chapter. I love how Ino got so exicted. I am sad that Riku didn't get the name of that Ape guy. Oh and doesn't Riku have a mask? If she does wouldn't Ino mention taking it of to make her look prettier?
Author's Response: Aha, I wonder why that is indeed. Perhaps Ino knows better than to ask somebody to take off the mask that they wear 24/7. :'D Thanks for reviewing ^^
Name: Shizake uchiha (Anonymous) · Date: 27/10/12 - 01:29 pm · For: Chapter Nine: Exchanging Pleasantries
Before I review I wanna say that writing a bingo book to explain things isn't the "best" idea. As someone once told me, "books don't come with manuals. It's up to you to explain in the story." Bingo books should be for you, the writer, to organize things to make it easier for you to keep track of things.
Just my opinion, you can do whatever you want :)
Author's Response: A good word of advice there o uo;; I'll probably go reword a few things later on so it's less of a manual than it is a record-keeper. Thanks for your input ^^
Name: Makkenji (Anonymous) · Date: 22/10/12 - 08:25 pm · For: Chapter Eight: Speculations
OMG I LOVE THIS STORY! I liked the chapters long though. :P Keep p the good work!
Author's Response: Thanks a bunch, for reading and giving feedback :D I'll try my best to keep things interesting ^^;;
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 21/10/12 - 09:29 am · For: Chapter Seven: The Youkugan
Riku always seems to run into old enemies doesn't she? Great update!
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 21/10/12 - 09:27 am · For: Chapter Eight: Speculations
The Youkugan is a pretty interesting bloodline trait. The ability to turn take aspects of genjutsu and make them real is pretty original. Nice update as usual. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: Ahaa, thank you very much ^^;; I'm trying really hard to keep the OC's techniques original, so hopefully they aren't too similar to anything else :'D Thanks for reading ^^
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 21/10/12 - 09:16 am · For: Chapter Six: New Team, New Mission
Awesome update. Off to read more!
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 07/10/12 - 03:18 pm · For: Chapter Five: The Impossible Truth
Awesome development. Learning more about Riku and her past. Good all around, nice work :)
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 30/09/12 - 12:11 pm · For: Chapter Four: Let's Get this Show on the Road
Ah very nice mission chapter and fairly long one at that. I was afraid Kakashi and all of them were going to get angry at Riku for stealing but I'm glad they understood. Ah I see you used Yen, in Naruto they use Ryo. Just a small error :P
Anyways good chapter, can't wait to see the next one.
Author's Response: My goodness, I actually never noticed that o Ao;; Thanks for the heads up xD